Live Feedleash Log: 6/11/07

[clairesicle]

CLAIRE says:
*hurriedly enters the old cafe, already smoking a cigarette, wondering if she's running late* *sees Dan at their usual table and waves a hand* Sorry, been waiting long? I collected about 6 orders for lattes from Naboo before I left.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*Dan lifts his eyebrows in greeting and shifts in his seat, straightening up. From the pile of stubs in the ashtray, it is evident he has been there a while*

Dan Ashcroft says:
Hey sis.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*glances over his shoulder at the girl at the counter, catches her eye and she wanders over with a notepad*

CLAIRE says:
*slings her bag over the chair and takes a seat* Hi.

CLAIRE says:
*to the counter girl* Double latte, no sugar?

Dan Ashcroft says:
Another black coffee, please.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*exhales and fingers his cigarette packet* So, how's it going?

CLAIRE says:
*looks him over, noting he seems rather weary* All right. You know, been better, been worse.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*sniffs and pushes back his hair, tapping a hand on the table top* I hear you've got work.

CLAIRE says:
Of a sort. *hurriedly, as she knows his feelings on Yeah?* I babysat Yeah?'s pregnant wife for a few nights. Don't know if he'll ask me to do that again or not.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*stares at the tabletop, a wave of tiredness washing over him, half-listening to her reply* Hmm.

CLAIRE says:
*sort of surprised that he doesn't have something stronger to say about that* Otherwise, still looking for something better. What about you?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*the counter girl reaches between them and places their coffees on the table. Dan gives a closed-lipped smile and nod in thanks, then cups his drink, running his thumbs around the edge of the mug*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*stares into the black liquid for a moment*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*scratches at his beard with two fingers and then glances up at Claire, fixing her gaze*

Dan Ashcroft says:
Things are...*bites his bottom lip*

CLAIRE says:
*pokes at the foam in her latte, watching him* ....are?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*purses his lips* You know when we were on holiday in the Lakes one time, and you tried to set me up with that friend of yours?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*shifts in his seat and clears his throat, uncomfortable*

CLAIRE says:
Sophie? *blinks, wondering where this is heading* Yeah, sure, I remember.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*smiles and flushes slightly* Yeah, that was her name. Heh.

CLAIRE says:
*rolls her eyes, though good-naturedly* A girl. Well, how was I to know?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*takes a sip of his coffee and reaches for his cigarettes*

Dan Ashcroft says:
I always thought you knew.

CLAIRE says:
*finally takes a drink of her latte and mostly gets foam* How would I? I'd only ever seen you date girls.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*lights a cigarette* Well, what I'm saying is, are you OK to...not talk about girls?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*taps his fingers nervously on the table edge*

CLAIRE says:
*bald-faced* Is this about you and Jones and... sex, or something?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*exhales and raises his eyebrows, glancing around the cafe briefly* That's part of it, yeah.

CLAIRE says:
*mentally steadies herself* Okay, well, yeah, I think I can manage. *goes to stub out her cigarette, then, on second thought, uses it to light another one*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*clears his throat and leans forward, conspiratorially* Things aren't as easy as I thought they'd be.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*looks down at the floor as he speaks, wearily* I'm finding it really difficult, sis.

CLAIRE says:
Well... *swallows and thinks of how to respond* What's difficult, exactly?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*gives a shrug* Pretty much everything. He needs care as soon as he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep. Forget all that cheerful front he puts on. You know what he's like. He's sees a Barbie doll and he's like a chipmunk on crack for the day.

Dan Ashcroft says:
But he needs a lot of meds right now. He can hardly walk. He needs help to get to the bathroom.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*leans back and sighs, clearly distressed* I hate seeing him like this.

CLAIRE says:
*exhales smoke slowly* That's what it was like at Mum and Dad's. Except they're not Jones so they complain a lot more. *with more sympathy* I'm sorry, though. The important thing is that he's alive and getting better, isn't it?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*sips again at his coffee* Yeah, he is but...*sighs* I had this ridiculous idea that everything would be alright once he got home, you know? *wipes a hand across his mouth*

CLAIRE says:
*carefully* I don't think it's ridiculous to want everything to be alright. *sighs a little* But it will take time, won't it? *has a drink of her latte*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*takes a drag of his cigarette, allowing the smoke to filter out through his nostrils* They never caught the bastard that started the fire, you know.

Dan Ashcroft says:
Might make me feel a bit better if I do.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*makes a hand into a fist and raps his knuckles on the table top*

CLAIRE says:
*tilts her head at him to see how serious he is, then finally relents* And how are you going to do that? They have experts for that sort of thing, and nothing got done.

Dan Ashcroft says:
I'll find a way. *narrows his eyes in determination and takes another drag of his cigarette*

CLAIRE says:
*presses her lips together* Is this because you ran back into the fire and didn't come out with Jones? *remembers how she screamed at him for that and softens a little* *murmurs* It wasn't your fault.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*glowering and bristling at the memory* I tried to get up those fucking stairs after him, Claire. I wasn't lying on the ground with an oxygen mask on for fun.

CLAIRE says:
I -said- it wasn't your fault. *glares a little, then relaxes* What's hunting down the arsonist gonna do? They won't let you punch him in the face when he's found.

Dan Ashcroft says:
Every day reminds me of that...day, Claire. Every time I see Jones try not to wince and cry out in pain as he tries to take a step across the living room, when he thinks I'm not looking...*voice cracks*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*pummels his cigarette angrily into the small foil ashtray*

CLAIRE says:
*mildly* I'm sure every day reminds Jones of that day, too, you know.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*raises his voice slightly* I know it bloody does! Christ almighty! Why does everyone keep reminding me of that?! Jesus, can't I get angry too? Is that 'not allowed'?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*slugs the remains of his black coffee*

CLAIRE says:
*normal voice, as she's pretty used to seeing him blow up* But what does getting angry -do-, Dan? Does it really make you feel better?

Dan Ashcroft says:
I can't help it! *lowers voice and runs a hand around his stubbled cheek* I love the stupid bastard. *quickly retrieves another cigarette from the packet and avoids Claire's gaze*

CLAIRE says:
That's not really an answer, is it? *puffs on her cigarette* Is that why you want to find this fella? Directing your anger somewhere specific?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*leans on one elbow and continues to avoid Claire's gaze, smoking and chewing on a fingernail, staring out of the window*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*mumbles* I don't know what to do. That's why I asked you here.

CLAIRE says:
*thinks on this carefully*

CLAIRE says:
The things that make you feel better, Dan, aren't usually the things I would do, myself.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*pushing a palm into his forehead and screwing up his eyes* Jones is a mess, I'm fucking angry, we're not...you know. I'm not thinking straight right now.

CLAIRE says:
*helplessly* And yet, I can't tell you 'don't be angry,' because you will be anyway.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*gives a snort of laughter* Yeah, well, I suppose I had to take after Dad somehow, didn't I?

CLAIRE says:
*goes quiet for a minute, as she usually does on this subject* Anger doesn't seem inevitable to me, but then, I don't feel it as often as you do. *looks at him* What would make you feel better? Just, taking it away from the personal context of the situation at hand for a moment. Someone to help you take care of Jones? Further investigation into the fire?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*chews his fingernail and looks at Claire with wide pleading eyes* Would you help me out, sis? Just for a bit? I need to get on top of some articles otherwise we're going to be out on our arse.

CLAIRE says:
*closes her eyes, then looks away* Dan, when I came back from Leeds you made it pretty clear that there wasn't really room for me with you and Jones.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*lowers his gaze, shoulders slumped* I know. I'm sorry. I thought I could fix everything. By myself. *glances up again at Claire*

Dan Ashcroft says:
Please Claire. You can have the bedroom.

CLAIRE says:
*chews on her lower lip, experiencing a confusing mixture of pity and anger* I don't think it's a very good idea.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*sighs and looks around the cafe*

CLAIRE says:
*looks at her hands* And I'm not saying this to punish you for turning me out, either. But I just got finished being nurse to Mum, and... well you were right, we can't live together forever, can we?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*glances at his watch and places his hands palm down on the table, chewing his bottom lip again, then snaps into action* Yeah. Alright. Thanks, sis. *stands up and slides out from the plastic seating*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*tries to hold it together, placing his cigarettes and lighter in his jeans pockets*

CLAIRE says:
*raising voice* Where are you going? You said you wanted my -advice-! Was that just... I don't know, softening me up so you'd hit me with this?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*fishes some change out of his pocket and tosses it on the table in payment for the coffee* You said no, didn't you?

CLAIRE says:
*glares* I said no to moving in and doing all the work, because that's how I always end up! But I... I love Jones too, I want him to get better. *slumps down in her seat, feeling teary* I could maybe come by a few nights a week, let you get some work done. I don't know, something like that.. *trails off*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*turns to walk away and then returns, slumping back into the seat opposite Claire, pushing his hair back with both hands and exhaling*

CLAIRE says:
*concentrates on breathing, slowly collecting herself, then shakily lights another cigarette*

Dan Ashcroft says:
Claire, I'm...*swallows hard and bounces a fist gently on the table* I'm so fucking wound up right now that I don't know what to do with myself. You know me better than anyone around here. I thought you might...I dunno. Have some answers or...something.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*reaches out a hand towards her, palm open* Sis...?

CLAIRE says:
*brushes her hair out of her face* *fiddles with her cigarette but doesn't puff on it* *looks at him, then tentatively touches her fingers to the edge of his palm*

CLAIRE says:
*wearily* I have a little bit of money...

Dan Ashcroft says:
I don't want your money, you silly tart! *laughs* For once!

Dan Ashcroft says:
*waggles his hand at her again* Come on.

CLAIRE says:
*blinks against the smoke in the air, then grabs his hand*

CLAIRE says:
I'm not that wise, Dan. I wish I had advice, I do.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*clasps his hand firmly around her hand and holds it*

Dan Ashcroft says:
I know. It's alright. Worth a try though, right?

CLAIRE says:
*sincerely* All my advice doesn't suit you. Be patient... wait... *sits up a little straighter*

Dan Ashcroft says:
*frowns slightly* What?

CLAIRE says:
You just have to keep going and hope that things will be better. And... *pauses a beat* You have to know when to ask for help, too. So. I will come by a few nights a week, if you want.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*gaze falls to Claire's hand and he studies the delicateness of her fingers for a moment, then places his other hand on top of it, squeezing it gently*

CLAIRE says:
*peers at him through her hair* Will that help?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*smiling eyes* Yes. Thank you.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*releases her hand and stands up with a grunt*

CLAIRE says:
*sighs and feels tired* *swallows the rest of her latte*

Dan Ashcroft says:
I'd better go before that electro tart stumbles into the kitchen again. I caught him on the floor covered in Gold Blend granules, last night.

CLAIRE says:
*smiles a little, then looks up at him* Will you tell him I'll be seeing him soon?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*shrugs on his jacket* Yep, OK. *pauses and turns to Claire again* Hey sis.

CLAIRE says:
*hunts around her bag for money* Yeah?

Dan Ashcroft says:
*leans forward and places a clumsy, bristly kiss on her cheek*

CLAIRE says:
*pushes him in the chest good-naturedly* Get back to Jones! I'll call you tomorrow.

Dan Ashcroft says:
*calls out as he leaves the cafe, laughing and pointing back at her* If that Yeah? child is a two-headed lizard, you'll give me an exclusive, right?

CLAIRE says:
*shudders at the thought, but laughs, then waves as he leaves* *counts out her money onto the table and sees that Dan's not left enough* *sighs, and then throws in enough to cover his*