Feedleash log 23/7-07.
Ultra says:
*sitting at a table right at the back, in the shadows, left hand flat on the chipped table and right hand stabbing between her fingers with a blade like some odd pub game*
Barley! says:
*comes in, looking around a second, hoping he's not too late*
Ultra says:
*staring glumly at her hand - WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM*
Barley! says:
*spots Ultra*
*walks over, slightly apprehensively, considering there's a knife there...*
Barley! says:
All right?
Ultra says:
*doesn't look up, just kicking out the chair opposite viciously and continuing with her knifework*
Barley! says:
*sits down on the edge of the chair, ready to get up quickly if it'll be needed, and yet also leaning away from the table*
...So?
Ultra says:
*stabs the knife into the table, and leaves it there quivering, folding her arms*
So.
Barley! says:
*shakes his head slightly, not knowing what to say* Drink?
Ultra says:
*makes a face* Non-alcoholic? Fuck off.
Barley! says:
Have as much alcohol as you like by me.
Ultra says:
*shifts uneasily*
*mutters* ...don't need your permission.
Barley! says:
*decides not to answer that one* What would you like?
Ultra says:
*sniffs, looking at her fingernails, keeping her hands as far away from her abdomen as possible*
Water's fine.
Barley! says:
*raises eyebrows in surprise* You sure? They've got...
Ultra says:
*snaps* I said water, didn't I?
Are you deaf?
Barley! says:
Sure.
Fine.
*gets up and goes over to the counter*
Ultra says:
*flicks at the knife handle, and it sways to and fro*
Barley! says:
*orders, doesn't look back at her, biting his lip*
Ultra says:
*scrubs at her eyes with the back of her hand suddenly, looking around shiftily*
*composing herself*
Barley! says:
*the drinks arrive and Barley goes back to the table*
*hands her her glass of water, has a cup of tea for himself*
Here.
*sits down*
Ultra says:
*sips at it, fingernails tapping at the glass*
Right.
So talk.
Barley! says:
Yeah.
Uh.
Baby?
Ultra says:
*winces*
It's not a baby.
Don't fucking call it a baby.
It's an it.
Barley! says:
It's not not a baby.
It is alive, Ultra.
Ultra says:
*slams the flat of her hand against the table, attracting looks*
Lectures, right.
Enough of.
Barley! says:
*jumps slightly*
Ultra says:
What is it you want me to do?
Barley! says:
*looks up slowly*
I don't know.
Do you want to keep it?
Do I want to keep it?
Ultra says:
*quietly* Shit parents, us.
Barley! says:
*same quiet voice* Yeah.
Ultra says:
*tangles a hand in her hair and pulls sharply*
Say I did.
...keep it.
Then what?
*shakes her head* Neon'd throw me out.
Barley! says:
...You could stay with me, y'know.
Not as a couple.
Ultra says:
*rolls her eyes*
Blinding idea.
Barley! says:
Like, I dunno, a guest?
Ultra says:
And then what?
Live on my own?
*shakes her head again*
Barley! says:
Probably?
You'd have to get a job or something?
I'd help pay, of course.
Ultra says:
*looks utterly horror-stricken*
A job?
What job?
Fucking, supermarket? HMV? What?
*spits onto the floor*
Barley! says:
I don't fucking know, I don't do jobs.
I can't ask for more money from my parents to support you.
Ultra says:
*jerks her chin up a bit*
Ah. Guilty secret.
You're asking me to have your secret filthy lovechild, Barley.
Barley! says:
What?
No.
Just.
Ultra says:
kid with no grandparents, right?
Barley! says:
*looks away* It's complicated, ok?
Ultra says:
Oh, is it?
I hadn't fucking noticed!
Barley! says:
*sighs* Sorry. Of course.
*stirs his tea, not looking at her*
Ultra says:
My parents won't speak to me.
Your parents won't know.
You're retarded.
Barley! says:
Thanks
Ultra says:
I have a social worker.
*dismissively* Welcome.
This is hardly Mary fucking Poppins, is it?
Barley! says:
Basically, yeah. No baby.
*sighs again*
Ultra says:
*bristles a bit*
Barley! says:
If you keep it, it'll be tough, yeah? If you get rid of it, life will go back to normal? Or will it?
I don't fucking know.
Ultra says:
*leans forward and hits her forehead on the table, making her glass of water jump a bit*
*exhales loudly, with a bit of a moan*
...fuck.
Barley! says:
*wants to stroke her hair but decides not to*
Yeah.
Ultra says:
*slams it once more, for good measure*
Barley! says:
*winces* ...Don't.
Ultra says:
Maybe *slam* if I do it enough *slam* I'll do myself an injury. *SLAM*
Barley! says:
*watches, worried* Yeah, but... Just don't, yeah?
Ultra says:
*muffled* f'ck off.
Barley! says:
Look, this is probably the only time we'll meet like this, yeah? Let's at least *try* to get it sorted.
Ultra says:
*props her head on her arms, staring at his chest* Oh, do piss off.
You want me to make this decision in five minutes in a coffee shop?
Barley! says:
...Do you want to chat more? *quieter* You don't like me, remember?
Ultra says:
*frowns*
Point being?
*stares resolutely at his buttons, sulking*
Barley! says:
Point being, if you tell me now you're not keeping it and then change your mind afterwards, I don't think I can be there to help you.
*bites lip, hard*
Ultra says:
What?
What do you mean, help?
Who needs your fucking help?
Barley! says:
Money, mostly, I suppose?
You wanna get a job, then, do you?
Ultra says:
Better than having you supporting me, cockmunch.
I'm no kept woman, alright?
Barley! says:
The money won't be for you, it'd be for the kid.
Difference, that.
Ultra says:
*shudders*
Ugh, Barley DNA.
I don't even know why I'm considering this.
*nods a bit* Fuck it, I'm not considering it. Mental fucking idea.
*quietly* Fucking insane.
Barley! says:
If there wasn't any doubt in your mind, why did you agree on meeting?
Ultra says:
Shut up.
Hormonal weakness, who cares.
*sits up straight suddenly, shoulders set*
Barley! says:
Yeah, you've been using that excuse a lot, I've seen.
Not everything's hormones, y'know. Maybe you have human feeling in that heart of yours, yeah?
Ultra says:
*blinks*
What is it you want here?
You want Susan back, is that it?
You think that if I come live with you, bear your children, she'll just appear?
Barley! says:
Yeah, they were nice days, with Susan.
It's not mine to say, yeah?
Your call.
Ultra says:
*narrows her eyes, studying him*
Barley! says:
I don't fucking know!
Ultra says:
She's still in here, you know.
*taps her forehead*
Everything she is, is in here.
That what you want?
Barley! says:
What, like an extra person inside your head?
That's mental.
That's not right.
Ultra says:
*smiles sweetly*
Barley! says:
*shudders slightly at her smile and looks down at his tea*
Anyway, it's not about Susan, yeah?
It's about the baby?
Ultra says:
To you it is.
*hand slides towards his side of the table coyly*
Maybe, if I tried...
*bites her bottom lip*
...and we could be a family.
Barley! says:
*stares at her, not moving*
I...
Do you..?
*breaks it, and sits back*
It wouldn't work, yeah?
You wouldn't be happy as Susan.
I wouldn't be happy at all.
The baby'd be fucked up.
Bad idea.
Ultra says:
*blinks once, twice, three times*
*and says in a little girl's voice*
N-Nathan?
*pulls her hand back and instinctively touches the top of her head, shrinking down slightly*
Nathan what's going on?
Barley! says:
*points at her, his hand shaking slightly* Don't you try and fuck with my head.
Just, stop it, yeah?
Ultra says:
*wide eyes*
What?
I don't understand!
Why am I-
*looks down at her outfit and squeaks loudly*
Barley! says:
Ultra! Fucking stop it! That's not funny!
Stop it right now!
Ultra says:
*eyes start to brim with tears*
Barley! says:
Oh, you don't!
Ultra says:
Nathan please stop yelling at me I don't know what's happening what's HAPPENING.
Barley! says:
Look, just get back to your mental, crazy you, yeah?
Don't do that!
*gets up suddenly and wrenches the knife from the table*
Get back into yourself!
Stop fucking around!
Ultra says:
*leaps out of her chair and hides behind it*
*watching him through the slats*
*in a high voice* Help!
Someone help!
*people are starting to look around, even in London*
Barley! says:
*pulls the chair away from her and pulls her up by the shoulder and slams her into the wall*
This is your knife.
Take it, and get back into Ultra!
*forces the knife into her hand*
Ultra says:
*spits in his face*
*and calmly* I suppose you're right. It wouldn't work out.
Barley! says:
*lets go*
Thank you.
*goes to sit down again, shaking all over*
Ultra says:
*gives a little bow to the cafe*
*cheerfully* Vacuuming it is, then.
Barley! says:
*refuses to look out into the room*
Ultra says:
*picks up the chair and returns it neatly to the table*
Barley! says:
*between gritted teeth* Fucking bint.
Ultra says:
*still standing, ruffles his hair*
Love to you too, sperm donor.
Barley! says:
*pulls away sharply*
Fuck off.
Ultra says:
*blows him a kiss*
We done?
Barley! says:
*sighs* Suppose.
Getting rid of it.
Ultra says:
Looks like.
None of your business, anyway.
Keep your money, and see you, *taps her finger against her lips* fucking never.
Barley! says:
Suits me just fine.
Ultra says:
*picks up her glass of water, and pours it calmly over his head*
Bye then!
*and wanders off*
Barley! says:
*throws her an angry glare but says nothing*
*turns back to his tea. It's gone cold* Oh, fuck it. *pushes it away, gets up and leaves*