I haven't done one of these for a while.
*****
Spring is here at last, and with every warm breeze that wakes the sleeping flowers, I feel the numbing ice of winter melting from my heart. It is in these first few weeks that I feel the most, and, since I am no longer used to feeling, it is these weeks that are the most painful for me. When the sun shines and the grass is green my mind drifts to thoughts of the sun kissed fields that I shared with my first love. And I love him still, despite being snatched from the beautiful house that we shared and brought to live in this vast cold mansion, so many of us in one place but without love or even hope.
Even so, I never complain, I do all that is expected of me, and yet no matter what I do I am punished for both my imagined treachery and for dreaming of the one I left behind. How many times must I suffer at the hands of my new and jealous keeper when he sees the memory of spring in my eyes? But though I feel a strange love for him born of pity and a desire to see him happy, I cannot ignore my loyalties to the one who was my partner in all things for so many years. I fear my time here has taken its toll on my mind as well as my body, however, for it becomes almost possible to live with my current situation when I think that it is all because he seems to love me more than any other. I wonder, though, is it better or worse for me to agree to lie beside him when my mind is with someone else? Of course, that is not to say that it always is, for there are times, I hate to admit, that I crave his touch and his company. Isn't it strange that I should cling to him, when he is all I have to fear? Other times, though, I stay with him only to comfort him and save him from his never ending nightmares, while I dream my guilty dreams of happier days. My body is not even my own anymore, and it hurts that as a result I cannot swear my fidelity to the one to whom my heart has always belonged. Try as I may to control them, my physical passions are now too far out of hand. I am overly sensitive and the strangest things excite me. I have always tried to be a good person, but now I am afraid of what I am becoming.
And where are you now, my shining one? Are you well? Or do you suffer as I do, and in your suffering, do you think of me? What has become of us, who were once avenging angels of the battlefield? How did we become so weak that we could be torn apart against our will? What has become of our once glorious kingdom, and of our golden liberty? But I know in my heart there is no use in thinking on these unanswerable questions. I can only hope that some distant spring will find us together once more, dreaming not of the past but of the future.
*****
...unless you enjoy my terrible writing, that is.
P.S. You don't know me at all and I hope I never meet you, because I just might kill you. Yes, I might. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would. I'm purposely not going to find out what you look like so I can't kill you if I meet you accidentally. =3