Scarred - Chapter 7
Title: Scarred
Author: Me
Pairing: Takaki Yuya X OC
Genre: Romance. Slice of Life. Slight Angst.
Paper planes fall.
Leaves wither.
Sun sets.
Stars disappear.
People get wounded.
Wounds turn to scars.
Yuya stopped walking when he saw the restaurant where he is supposed to meet and have a talk with his father. He scanned all the people inside through the glass walls and saw the man waiting for him. He stared at his father who is wearing a white long sleeved polo while feeling an unexplainable emotion building up inside him. ‘He never liked wearing long sleeved clothes.’
He took a deep breath and continued walking toward the restaurant. As soon as he entered, he saw his father’s head perk up and looked at him. He slowly walked toward the table and sat down the seat opposite of his father’s.
His father is staring at him and he felt awkward about it. He fixed his eyes on anything except his father. He can’t look at him.
His father was the one who broke the ice. “How... Are you?”
With that single question, a lot of answers popped out of his mind. ‘Fine. Still the same. Happy. Okay. Nothing’s new. Why did you come back? Why are you here? Where did you come from? How...are you?’
But he answered none. She just shrugged his shoulders and kept his face passive. His father sighed which made him look at him. His dad’s face is clearly pained. He felt some pity for him. But he knew his father deserved the pain.
However, he doesn’t know why but he felt a bit hurt with his father’s expression. He played with the napkin on the table. “So, what now?”
He heard him cleared his throat. “Yuya, I’m really sorry.”
He stopped playing with the napkin. He took a deep breath and felt something constricting his chest. “Yeah. Okay. That’s...fine. I’m cool with it now.”
His father was about to say something when someone interrupted them. “We’re sorry we’re late!” A guy from behind exclaimed.
The eyes of his dad were on him. And his eyes were on his dad. Slowly, he turned his head and saw two guys younger than him walking toward their table. His eyes widened and as he watch the two take their seats beside his dad.
The taller one is wearing a blue flannel shirt over a black t-shirt. On the other hand, the smaller one is wearing an orange flannel shirt over a white shirt. He stared at their faces and saw the same eyes he has.
“Yuya,” his dad carefully called his name. “These are your stepbrothers.”
He nodded and pretended not to care. But inside, he’s burning. Inside, he’s crashing down. He can’t accept the fact that his father has another family. He doesn’t care anymore, right? But why does it hurt?
They ordered foods and started eating as soon as their orders came. The atmosphere was a bit lighter now. But his feeling was heavier.
He spent the whole time answering each questions with words he didn’t think about. He also watched his younger stepbrothers are they stare at him with curiosity. And of course, he observed how much close they are to his father.
There’s a feeling inside him that’s burning. Seeing his dad smile at his stepbrothers’ jokes hurt him. Seeing how happy his dad is pained him. And he couldn’t accept that his dad is hurting him again. Unintentionally.
Is that why he left them? Because he has another family? A family wherein he could be happy? Wasn’t he happy with Yuya and his mom?
Yuya stood up, interrupting the conversation in front of him. “Excuse me. I need to go.”
He hate his father, right? He doesn’t care anymore. He had long accepted the fact that he only has his mother and he lost his father. But why is he feeling all of these emotions?
He immediately went out of the restaurant, ignoring his father who was calling him and remembering the reason why he even decided to come.
Yuya breathed hard as he watch Himari’s figure getting smaller and fading from his sight. He knew he was right. Himari is so optimistic that she fails to see what the world really is. She just keeps on believing on something that isn’t real. And it’s not good.
He knew how bad it is. To believe that things last...
But seeing tears run down from on her face made him feel like what he believes in is wrong.
“You..” He looked at Hayate when the guy spoke. “You shouldn’t have said that, bro.”
He’s a bit glad that Hayate isn’t mad at him for making his best friend cry. But the intensity of the earlier fight isn’t leaving him yet. “I told her the truth. She can’t continue ignoring the reality.”
Hayate shook his head. “It’s better to tell her lies than tell her the hurtful truth!”
He frowned. “What? That’s worse.”
The guy sighed. He walked toward him and placed both of his hands on his shoulders. “Listen, I shouldn’t be the one telling you this but you need to know. Himari’s family is in a mess right now. “ He hesitated but continued. “And she’s taking it... Uh... Too seriously?”
He nodded and felt the adrenaline fade. A small hint of guilt is slowly crawling in his mind. “I understand. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say that to me. Tell that to Himari.” Hayate put down his hands. “I’ll go after her. But before that,” the guy smiled, “I’m always here for the both of you. So, if you want to let out all those negative feelings, just tell me. Okay, bro?”
He felt a hollow space inside his stomach. He appreciates what Hayate said. He nodded and smiled back. “Thanks bro.”
Then, Hayate ran up the hill and went after Himari.
He sighed and looked up at the sky that is starting to get dark. He closed his eyes and felt the cold wind blowing against his face. Somehow, he wished that the rush of air could take all his emotions away. Is it better to feel nothing than to feel a lot of negative things? He doesn’t know the answer but he wanted to feel nothing for just a minute.
After some more minutes, he walked home.
Yuya secretly glance occasionally at his mother. He watched her reactions, waiting for any negative emotion to register in her face so that he will have an excuse to make his father go home--his new home. But his mother’s face remained the same. It didn’t show any emotion at all. But he knew that it means she’s okay with what’s happening.
His mom settled down the glass of water she drank from on the coffee table. She captured his gaze for a while and smiled softly. He looked away and faced the flat screen television in front of them.
“So, how was life here?” he heard his dad asked.
He became easily bored by the conversation between his parents. But he can’t leave his mom alone. He wants to be there until his dad go out of their house.
“How’s your life there?”
He became attentive after hearing his mom’s question. He too wants to know what his father’s life...away from them.
“Oh.” His dad paused for a minute, hesitating but still continued. “It’s great there.”
He felt the familiar hollowness in his stomach from earlier return. He pretended to focused on the show on the television but his full attention is with his father’s answers.
“Every morning, the Okinawa air welcomes me with its freshness. Then, I immediately found a job there paying me with good amount. The people around are kind. I’m happy there.”
He glanced at his mom and was a bit surprised that his mom is just smiling at what his dad is saying. He assumed that she is affected because he is. He knew how much his mother loved his father. How could she not show any negative emotion...
“How about your..” His mom glanced at him before continuing. “Your sons there? You told me you have two?”
He saw his dad lighten up a bit. And with that, he doesn’t want to listen anymore. But he doesn’t want to leave his mom. He closed his fists tightly and sighed softly.
“Yes. They’re good kids. Their mother was able to raise the two of them as great sons alone. And I’m a bit guilty that I wasn’t there for them when they were just children.”
‘Aren’t you guilty for not being here while I was growing up?’ He stood up, causing his parents to look at him. He smiled at his mom. “I’m going out for a while.”
His mom looked at him without her smile but not frowning. “It’s already late, Yuya. Where are you going?”
He glanced at the wall clock they have and saw that it was already ten in the evening. “I’ll meet my friend,” he lied and showed his phone.
“What if you get into trouble? What if the two of you get into trouble? It’s already late. There are some bad guys out there. And you’re just a student. What if you got kidnapped? Whom am I going to call? What if the police wasn’t able--”
He smiled genuinely and shook his head. “Mom, I’ll be fine. I’ll just be out for a while.”
She stared at him and he just smiled at her. She returned the smile after a while. “Okay. Be home before midnight, okay?”
He nodded and walked out of the living room without glancing at his father.
Yuya walked aimlessly away from his house. Feeling the cold night breeze, he rubbed his arms while cursing himself for not bringing any jacket. He went as far as the way toward his school. He chuckled to himself when he realized that.
He stopped at the hill and stared at the dim lights of the houses on the other side. He roamed his gaze around, taking in the tranquil scenery around him. Starting from the houses, some of the grasses illuminated by the lamp posts, the gray stone stairs that leads down the hill and ended at the girl sitting on one of the steps.
He already knew it was Himari. Just looking at her chestnut brown hair that is being swayed by the wind, he knew it was her.
He was sure she was oblivious to the fact that there’s someone behind her. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to know that he’s there. He decided to let her know he’s present. And he wanted to say sorry too. Maybe, what he was saying was right but all his words came out harshly.
He walked toward her and went down a few steps until he’s beside her. She looked up at him and he saw her eyes got wide.
“Yuya,” she whispered. She looked away immediately and returned to her earlier position--elbows on her knee and chin on her hands.
He sat down beside her, mimicking her position. They stayed quiet for a while until Yuya began to speak. “I’m sorry, Himari,” he sighed. “For what happened earlier.”
“Yeah,” Himari said.
‘Is she still mad?’ He frowned and looked at the girl beside him. Then, she saw her staring at nothing. Her eyes seem distant. And it’s like there are thousand thoughts running in her mind right now.
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.
She absentmindedly shook her head and remained silent. Himari used to be someone who tell her thoughts loud. But tonight, she’s not the same. Her eyes used to show all optimism but right now, they seem lifeless.
Surprising her, he grabbed her left hand and laced his fingers into hers. He looked into their hands, avoiding her confused gaze and feeling his cheeks heat up. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said earlier. Hayate told me things... And I’m really sorry for making you so upset.”
“What... What did he say?” she asked, urgency is obvious in her voice.
He looked at her and saw her nervous expression. “He told me about your family.”
Her expression softened a bit. “That’s all?”
He frowned. “Why? Is there something more?”
The nervous expression went back and he felt her hands tightened the grip unto his. She shook her head but he knew there’s more.
However, he’s not going to push it father. “Okay. There’s nothing more to know,” he said, assuring her that he won’t ask.
She smiled, a sincere one. She stared at her eyes. He realized, they were a bit puffy. He felt really guilty for making her so upset. Maybe, her family really means a lot to her. That’s why she’s like this.
Then, his eyes transferred into her lips. They’re pink and her smile makes it beautiful. He looked at his eyes and saw her staring at him. He chuckled and looked away.
Silence took over the atmosphere between them. But unlike earlier, it was comfortable. Their hands and still together.
He felt the softness of her hands. He played with their fingers, realizing how small hers compared to his. He smiled because of that. He then traced the skin beneath the wristwatch she was wearing.
Then, stopped at the part where the ends are connected. He felt something wrong on the skin beneath it. He felt her hand froze. He slowly looked up at her and saw her horrified expression.
He looked back at her hand. He turned it around and slowly undo her wristwatch. And with the faint light coming from the streetlight, he saw scars on her wrist.
“Himari.” was all he could say.
He looked up at her and saw her looking at him with eyes so fragile. He hugged her and felt guilt eating him up. So that’s why Hayate told him to tell her lies than the truths. That’s why she was hurt so much by his words.
“I am afraid,” she starts to speak.
He caressed her hair. She wasn’t crying. But he wants to comfort her.
“I love my mom. I love my dad. And they showed me they love me too.” She paused but continued. “But they didn’t love each other.” He felt her bury her face on his shoulder. “But I believe that we’ll be a happy family. Inside of me, I’m hoping that one day, they’ll love each other. Then, nothing will ever tear us apart. My family is my life. If they tear apart, my life will tear apart too.”
He gulped down, remembering the feeling when his dad left him. Remembering how broken he was when the person he loves went away. “They won’t break apart, Himari. They won’t.” But he knew what he said wasn’t the truth.
“That’s what I’m trying to do, Yuya. To keep them together. But they’re already breaking. And we’re almost broken.”
He felt his shoulders getting wet. And with that, he decided that he would protect this girl. He won’t let this girl experience the pain he had. Yes, his wounds healed. But he doesn’t want this girl to have wounds... Especially scars.
He won’t be able to stop her parents’ decisions. But he can help her ease the pain. And somehow, at the back of his mind, he knew this girl could do it. He knew she could keep her family together. She’s clever, intelligent, beautiful and loving. How could someone leave her?
If she believes she can, he will believe too. If she believes that there are things that stay, he’ll believe too....and will prove it, even. Because he will stay.
“Things will be alright,” he assured her. “I was just bitter with my dad.”
She laughed. “Yeah.”
He smiled. “And Himari, promise me you’ll never do that again.”
“I promise,” she said. “It’s been a year since I last did it, anyway.”
“How many times did you cut yourself?” he frowned and pulled out of the hug.
“Just...twice,” she whispered.
He smiled. “Just don’t repeat it again, okay?”
She nodded and smiled back.
They spent the rest of the night looking at the stars, sharing stories until those start disappearing one by one. And until he heard his phone ring.