well for once i went to sleep at a decent hour so i could drag my ass off to painting. but i had so many bad dreams and woke up so frequently that it didn't do me much good. weird freaky dreams about organs and dead people and such. i woke up tired, scared, feeling crazy and missing my grandma and my mom. i hate it when i have a dream and forget ( Read more... )

meh. why oh why oh why is my sleeping schedule such a mess? i either can't sleep or i sleep in the middle of the day or i sleep but wake up frequently. bleh. and i have to spend all of tonight on the freakin' bus to get to london tomorrow. double bleh. at least the week after i get a break ( Read more... )

for all 3 of you who actually read this thing don't worry about me. i've decided to calm down the drinking. it's going to make me fat and it seems to get me into trouble. plus jon finally admitted he wasn't too happy about all those guys hitting on me. or the drinking. or the new abuse of substances in general. hooray. he does give a flying fuck. i ( Read more... )

man i am so embarassed. i was e-mailing my parents and complaining about things, y'know, just for the hell of it. well it turns out when i complained my dad sent an e-mail to fiona (she's in charge of the flats i live in) and told her! i didn't want him to do that at all. he even mentioned that i wanted a t.v. and she told him they didn't provide t ( Read more... )

well i am feeling better today. not great but better. if jon comes to visit during his spring break that will be only another month and a half from now. that seems bearable. speaking of which, meagan i have a reading week beginning the 14th of Feb. so if you want to get together then that is totally do-able ( Read more... )

ok well the homesickness bug has finally reared its ugly head. i felt like crap all weekend and kept crying. i'm seriously tempted by the idea of flying my ass back home right now and begging some profs to let me into their classes. at the same time i feel like if i do that i won' be able to look at myself anymore. i'll just think oh my lord what a ( Read more... )

ok, well apparently e-mails are just not good enough for some of you so i am going to post as well although you will probably get a lot of repeat info. i am still currently settling into scottish life, today i went to the post office and made a complete ass out of myself. i am out of any even mildly nutritous food but am too lazy to go get more. i ( Read more... )

so in about a week i will be moving out of my room and lugging everything home. then i get to go through the stress of getting my ass to scotland. woot. i've heard everyone there smokes too, so i'm going to be dying all the time. i can't believe how many people still smoke. everyone knows it gives you cancer, and they do it anyway. so stupid. i ( Read more... )

i got bored, started looking at a friends xanga and decided to post. so i'm going to scotland. and scared shitless. wooo-hooooo.i'm kind of glad too though, because scripps is really starting to make me feel stifled. i don't have time to paint or draw or anything. always with the papers. it's frustrating. when i feel some inspiration coming on i ( Read more... )

ok, so last night i was wandering around and what do i find but a group of 15 year old anorexics encouraging each other. ok i'm tired of being sympathetic. i try to help people and all they do is yell at me and tell me it's their fucking lifestyle choice and i should just shut up. fine. i don't care anymore. fucking kill your own sorry ass for all ( Read more... )