Moving Forward
If you’re wondering why I’m writing this, well, it’s because I didn’t want to disappear from LJ without a single word and leave you all hanging. That’s pretty much the gist of this message, so if you want to avoid reading this lengthy and sentimental mess, then now is pretty much the time for you to close/change the tab, hahaha.
Still here? Well then, I shall continue.
Someone commented on the last chapter of A Learning Process and said that my author’s note felt like I was going to stop writing and in a way, I must admit that it seems that things have progressed in that direction. It’s really not a matter of me thinking that things aren’t worth it anymore, but rather, I’ve changed as a person and things are different for me now than they were before. I still wish the best for everyone - whether it be Yunho and Jaejoong, or you guys, but it’s just that right now, I can recognize that my interests as of now have me drifting apart from what I used to enjoy so much.
This has been with me for a while now, and I think it’s time for me to let everyone know what’s up rather than just disappearing. You guys have been with me for a long time, almost THREE years which I honestly think is just insane. When I first started writing YunJae, I had no idea I would stick around for so long, and hell, I didn’t even think that anyone would like what I wrote. Most of my writing was confined to gathering dust on my computer, locked away on Microsoft Word (though honestly, a lot of my writing is still confined to my computer since I’m too shy to share it 98% of the time ^^;).
In my part of this relationship as a writer, and you guys as my readers, I feel a sense of gratitude and awe to think about the fact that we’ve been through so much. Through the highs and lows (there were definitely lows in my writing I think, haha, I cringe looking at some stuff I’ve written), every single comment, tweet or message I’ve gotten from all of you has meant so much me to me.
This experience as a part of such a long and lasting fandom has been a genuinely meaningful ride for me, and while I can’t say I’ve even nearly gotten as entrenched into it as some of you guys, I like to think that my part in everything has changed me, for better or for worse, into the kind person I am right now, the kind of person that I am happy being. I have so many precious memories that I wouldn’t have if it were not for all of you guys, and I don’t even know if I’m expressing how grateful I really am for everything. I started in this whole business pretty young, and I’m pretty sure several of you are guilty of mothering me on occasion, which I love because I’m that kind of person, haha, so I feel even more deeply involved with all of you than you may realize! As much as I’ve seen in the comments that you guys have felt moved by my writing, I have felt moved by all your comments, and the stories that you guys have shared with me as well.
I guiltily recognize that I am going to be leaving things unfinished, and I do apologize for that. But please don’t think that I’m simply closing everything away and compartmentalizing this whole experience into a memory box to be looked at every once in awhile. Perhaps I’m in a different place right now, but I am definitely not shutting and locking this door forever, and I am definitely not going to stop writing. Yes, things have changed, but who knows where things will bring me in the future. If there’s one thing I hope you guys know about me, it’s that I’m a ridiculous optimist and idealist most of the time. I don’t think this should be a goodbye - there have been too many of those, and you guys can always reach me on Twitter to talk about random things, so rather, I’d like to end on two words, ones that I feel are rather ignored, but ones that are important nonetheless to express how much I feel towards everyone.
Thank you! ♥
Love,
Anne
Still here? Well then, I shall continue.
Someone commented on the last chapter of A Learning Process and said that my author’s note felt like I was going to stop writing and in a way, I must admit that it seems that things have progressed in that direction. It’s really not a matter of me thinking that things aren’t worth it anymore, but rather, I’ve changed as a person and things are different for me now than they were before. I still wish the best for everyone - whether it be Yunho and Jaejoong, or you guys, but it’s just that right now, I can recognize that my interests as of now have me drifting apart from what I used to enjoy so much.
This has been with me for a while now, and I think it’s time for me to let everyone know what’s up rather than just disappearing. You guys have been with me for a long time, almost THREE years which I honestly think is just insane. When I first started writing YunJae, I had no idea I would stick around for so long, and hell, I didn’t even think that anyone would like what I wrote. Most of my writing was confined to gathering dust on my computer, locked away on Microsoft Word (though honestly, a lot of my writing is still confined to my computer since I’m too shy to share it 98% of the time ^^;).
In my part of this relationship as a writer, and you guys as my readers, I feel a sense of gratitude and awe to think about the fact that we’ve been through so much. Through the highs and lows (there were definitely lows in my writing I think, haha, I cringe looking at some stuff I’ve written), every single comment, tweet or message I’ve gotten from all of you has meant so much me to me.
This experience as a part of such a long and lasting fandom has been a genuinely meaningful ride for me, and while I can’t say I’ve even nearly gotten as entrenched into it as some of you guys, I like to think that my part in everything has changed me, for better or for worse, into the kind person I am right now, the kind of person that I am happy being. I have so many precious memories that I wouldn’t have if it were not for all of you guys, and I don’t even know if I’m expressing how grateful I really am for everything. I started in this whole business pretty young, and I’m pretty sure several of you are guilty of mothering me on occasion, which I love because I’m that kind of person, haha, so I feel even more deeply involved with all of you than you may realize! As much as I’ve seen in the comments that you guys have felt moved by my writing, I have felt moved by all your comments, and the stories that you guys have shared with me as well.
I guiltily recognize that I am going to be leaving things unfinished, and I do apologize for that. But please don’t think that I’m simply closing everything away and compartmentalizing this whole experience into a memory box to be looked at every once in awhile. Perhaps I’m in a different place right now, but I am definitely not shutting and locking this door forever, and I am definitely not going to stop writing. Yes, things have changed, but who knows where things will bring me in the future. If there’s one thing I hope you guys know about me, it’s that I’m a ridiculous optimist and idealist most of the time. I don’t think this should be a goodbye - there have been too many of those, and you guys can always reach me on Twitter to talk about random things, so rather, I’d like to end on two words, ones that I feel are rather ignored, but ones that are important nonetheless to express how much I feel towards everyone.
Thank you! ♥
Love,
Anne