its nights like tonight when i truly realize how truly alone i am right now.

its truly heartbreaking.

there is so much that i have wanted to say, i just haven't quite found the way to say it if that even makes sense ( Read more... )

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain

Unsure unconvincing
This faint and shakey hour

Day one day one start over again
Step one step one
I'm barely making sense for now
I'm faking it til I'm pseudo making it
From scratch begin again but this time I as i
And not as we

Gun shy and quivering
Timid without a hand

Feign brave with steel intent
( Read more... )

i keep hoping that the more i tell myself i'm ok, the easier it will get. honestly, i just really want to throw a childish temper tantrum. kicking, screaming and crying. i'm at the anger stage. i'm normally a very laid back, relaxed person. i can't believe i'm really this angry. i didn't think i had it in me ( Read more... )

i think i've made a decision about the living situation. i've been super stressed about this since jeff and i broke up since i'm alone in this crazy city. i started apartment hunting, but i couldn't find anything i liked that was in my price range, then i was going to live with a roommate that didn't work out, so it was back to looking for one ( Read more... )

as frightening and daunting as it sounds and seems, starting over is so refreshing and liberating. for the past few years i feel like i've lost myself a little bit. i would do things for other people, not thinking of myself, in a selfish way. i turned myself into someone i wasn't and i think because of that, i am where i am today ( Read more... )