That is a really great post. I found the explanation of the contextual use of the word enlightening in a way I didn't expect. I sort of understand how Elizabeth felt and where she was coming from. I grew up in a primarily black area. The kids always used that word with each other and it was never offensive in that context. I knew that the word SOUNDED different coming out of a white person's mouth, and I knew it was not a word to use, but I did struggle some with the concept of why it was an OK term in some instances and not in others. Of course I never thought to ASK black friends of mine about it - it was a taboo subject. I eventually figured it out, but what I wouldn't have given to read this blog THEN - it would have saved me a lot of confusion.
what it comes down to is this, if you are part of the group you can use the language of the group, if not tread carefully and err on the side of keeping your mouth shut.
I know many gay folk who cheerfully refer to each other as "that fucking queer" or some other term that I personally dare not utter, I also know white bajans who refer to themselves as ecky-becky (as bad as nigger in these parts) but I'm not part of the group so I do not have group privileges I cannot use the term to refer to them.
Same goes for the word in question, personally I do not use it in conversation but I understand the right of those who do (a position I have struggled to reach) and no matter how "down" a white person is, they will never be part of the group, just as as much as I lime with and love my gay friends, I am not really part of the group and I will never be comfortable enough to call a gay person "queer" or "faggot" or "dyke" or "lesbo" or any other personally offensive term I have heard casually bandied about between gay friends.
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I know many gay folk who cheerfully refer to each other as "that fucking queer" or some other term that I personally dare not utter, I also know white bajans who refer to themselves as ecky-becky (as bad as nigger in these parts) but I'm not part of the group so I do not have group privileges I cannot use the term to refer to them.
Same goes for the word in question, personally I do not use it in conversation but I understand the right of those who do (a position I have struggled to reach) and no matter how "down" a white person is, they will never be part of the group, just as as much as I lime with and love my gay friends, I am not really part of the group and I will never be comfortable enough to call a gay person "queer" or "faggot" or "dyke" or "lesbo" or any other personally offensive term I have heard casually bandied about between gay friends.
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