March 24, 2003
A year ago today my grandmother died in her room, in my house. She had been living with my family from the time i can remember. It was originally just during the winter when it was too cold for her and my grandfather to be at their Cape house and also some time during the summer when it was too hot for them to be in their condo in Florida. As i got older though my grand mom, i called her momma, got sick. Then one day when i was in high school my grandfather had a stroke. It paralyzed most of his right side. And he basically lost the ability to communicate. As a result my momma had to come live full time with us. It was a shock at first. Having her around the house. It was difficult at times i must say but it was also great to have her there. She'd always make great American Chop Sui or sweedish meat balls. And it was great. But there were hard parts too. Especially when we would all go to the nursing home where we were forced to put my grandfather, she would cry because she couldn't be with him. And he would cry as well. And as soon as they started everyone else just let loose. Seeing the pain it was putting her through to have him there, to not be by his side was so heartbreaking, i could not stand it. As time went on we all got a bit accoustumed to living together and the difficulties kind of started fading. But that was the same time that my momma started fading. She started getting sick again and it was so difficult. She had gone through surgery for cancer before i was born. And now she had cancer of the stomach. Watching her fade, loosing weight so quickly, a former full bodied woman was dropping down to incredibly thin sizes. Then on March 24th, 2003 my momma died in her room while i was upstairs above it in mine. My mother came to get me so i could say goodbye and my sister and i went downstairs and said our goodbyes to her. It was an incredibly stirring night, and i dont remember much more of it. I'm sure other people were around but i have no idea where i was or what i was doing. The entire night is gone.
After telling you that story I want to let you know that i had not remembered that today was the anniversary. Had i not looked at my cousin's away message and seen it i would have had no clue. This i feel terrible about. I feel like i let her down by not remembering that today was the day. That's really hard.
Also i didn't post this story out of the want for pity. You dont need to post an "i'm sorry" to this. I know that if you read this then you wish me and my family well, and if you do not wish my family well then please stop reading my livejournal. Thank You.