(Glee, gen) the beginning of something
Title: the beginning of something
Author: vnilla
Fandom: Glee
Characters: Rachel & Quinn
Rating: G
Word Count: 842
Summary: Quinn and Rachel: mothers and daughters and maybe friends.
Author's Notes: Written for Ladyfest '10. [ Original comment.]
Quinn never expected that having the baby would make her feel even more like a freak. She wasn't stupid enough to think that everything would go back to normal, but she hoped to feel less like an alien. Judging from the summer so far, though, things aren't going to get any better. In a way, things are worse.
She tries to tell herself it's because she's living in a strange household. (She and her mother are still "working it out," which in therapist speak means, "You'll kill each other if you spend too much time under the same roof.") The Jones family is wonderful, and Mercedes is more of a sister to her than her actual sister, but they all tiptoe around her like she's suffered some kind of devastating loss. They're too close to her to see that she really, really hasn't.
That's her big secret. She doesn't lie awake at nights crying for the baby she never wanted. She doesn't get sentimental over every diaper commercial. She doesn't feel like there's a huge hole in her life, even if the stretch marks refuse to fade.
Quinn tries to talk about it with Puck, but her confession never makes it past her lips, because all he can do is wonder how big Beth is now. She stops answering his texts, stops answering the door in case he's behind it. Mercedes runs interference for her without her asking, telling everyone that Quinn is too sad to deal with relationship drama. Quinn is grateful, but she still wants to scream that Quinn Fabray is never "too sad" for anything.
She ends up spending a lot of time in the library. It's air-conditioned, no one she knows ever goes there, and reading takes her away from Lima for a few hours. So what if she's still winter pale? She's supposedly grieving for her lost baby; no one expects her to look presentable.
It's in the library that she runs into Rachel Berry, the original freak herself. Rachel asks her how she's doing, careful like Quinn is made of glass, and Quinn explodes. "Why does everyone expect me to wander around moping for Puck's spawn? I'm just fine." She almost laughs at Rachel's shocked expression. Rachel Berry might not care what anyone thinks of her, but she never seems to realize that no one cares what Rachel Berry thinks of them.
Then Rachel gets that look on her face, the one that says I'm about to give you some advice on how to treat people when they no longer fear you, because I'm a better person than you are. Quinn both loves and hates that look, because it's true. Rachel is the better person, for all her annoying, boyfriend-stealing ways. "Having a baby is a major event," Rachel says, and here we go. "I think that your friends are concerned about you because you're acting as though it hasn't affected you at all."
"It hasn't," Quinn replies, and her voice cracks on the last word. She blinks away furious tears. "I'm supposed to feel horrible for giving away my baby, but I'm happy she's with someone who's--who's--"
"Who's ready to be a mom," Rachel finishes in a small voice, and Quinn kicks herself for bringing up Shelby, even if she is irritated that Rachel has the same expectations of her as everyone else.
"Sorry," she mutters, and offers Rachel a tissue from her purse after she gets out some for herself.
Rachel dabs at her eyes daintily, then offers Quinn a soft smile. "Just because you can't be her mom doesn't mean you're not allowed to miss her."
Quinn automatically returns the smile, but it trembles at her mouth, and then she's openly weeping in the Lima Public Library, holding onto Rachel Berry's hand like it's an anchor. "I want to see her someday," she sobs, "but now--I can't--I don't--"
"Shh," Rachel says, and puts her arms around her. "She'll understand. Even if it takes a while, she will. I promise."
Quinn doesn't know how long her crying jag lasts, only that her entire body feels hot and salt-encrusted after she's done, but she also feels better than she has in a long time. She draws back from Rachel, who looks like she's cried a little more herself.
"I've been a huge bitch," Quinn acknowledges.
"Yes," Rachel says.
"I think we kind of have to be friends now," Quinn says, and Rachel beams and pulls her into another hug, which Quinn returns for a moment. Then she slaps her hands away and tells Rachel to "pull yourself together already, Berry, it's not like I just proposed."
It's the beginning of a beautiful--well, it's the beginning of something.
Author: vnilla
Fandom: Glee
Characters: Rachel & Quinn
Rating: G
Word Count: 842
Summary: Quinn and Rachel: mothers and daughters and maybe friends.
Author's Notes: Written for Ladyfest '10. [ Original comment.]
Quinn never expected that having the baby would make her feel even more like a freak. She wasn't stupid enough to think that everything would go back to normal, but she hoped to feel less like an alien. Judging from the summer so far, though, things aren't going to get any better. In a way, things are worse.
She tries to tell herself it's because she's living in a strange household. (She and her mother are still "working it out," which in therapist speak means, "You'll kill each other if you spend too much time under the same roof.") The Jones family is wonderful, and Mercedes is more of a sister to her than her actual sister, but they all tiptoe around her like she's suffered some kind of devastating loss. They're too close to her to see that she really, really hasn't.
That's her big secret. She doesn't lie awake at nights crying for the baby she never wanted. She doesn't get sentimental over every diaper commercial. She doesn't feel like there's a huge hole in her life, even if the stretch marks refuse to fade.
Quinn tries to talk about it with Puck, but her confession never makes it past her lips, because all he can do is wonder how big Beth is now. She stops answering his texts, stops answering the door in case he's behind it. Mercedes runs interference for her without her asking, telling everyone that Quinn is too sad to deal with relationship drama. Quinn is grateful, but she still wants to scream that Quinn Fabray is never "too sad" for anything.
She ends up spending a lot of time in the library. It's air-conditioned, no one she knows ever goes there, and reading takes her away from Lima for a few hours. So what if she's still winter pale? She's supposedly grieving for her lost baby; no one expects her to look presentable.
It's in the library that she runs into Rachel Berry, the original freak herself. Rachel asks her how she's doing, careful like Quinn is made of glass, and Quinn explodes. "Why does everyone expect me to wander around moping for Puck's spawn? I'm just fine." She almost laughs at Rachel's shocked expression. Rachel Berry might not care what anyone thinks of her, but she never seems to realize that no one cares what Rachel Berry thinks of them.
Then Rachel gets that look on her face, the one that says I'm about to give you some advice on how to treat people when they no longer fear you, because I'm a better person than you are. Quinn both loves and hates that look, because it's true. Rachel is the better person, for all her annoying, boyfriend-stealing ways. "Having a baby is a major event," Rachel says, and here we go. "I think that your friends are concerned about you because you're acting as though it hasn't affected you at all."
"It hasn't," Quinn replies, and her voice cracks on the last word. She blinks away furious tears. "I'm supposed to feel horrible for giving away my baby, but I'm happy she's with someone who's--who's--"
"Who's ready to be a mom," Rachel finishes in a small voice, and Quinn kicks herself for bringing up Shelby, even if she is irritated that Rachel has the same expectations of her as everyone else.
"Sorry," she mutters, and offers Rachel a tissue from her purse after she gets out some for herself.
Rachel dabs at her eyes daintily, then offers Quinn a soft smile. "Just because you can't be her mom doesn't mean you're not allowed to miss her."
Quinn automatically returns the smile, but it trembles at her mouth, and then she's openly weeping in the Lima Public Library, holding onto Rachel Berry's hand like it's an anchor. "I want to see her someday," she sobs, "but now--I can't--I don't--"
"Shh," Rachel says, and puts her arms around her. "She'll understand. Even if it takes a while, she will. I promise."
Quinn doesn't know how long her crying jag lasts, only that her entire body feels hot and salt-encrusted after she's done, but she also feels better than she has in a long time. She draws back from Rachel, who looks like she's cried a little more herself.
"I've been a huge bitch," Quinn acknowledges.
"Yes," Rachel says.
"I think we kind of have to be friends now," Quinn says, and Rachel beams and pulls her into another hug, which Quinn returns for a moment. Then she slaps her hands away and tells Rachel to "pull yourself together already, Berry, it's not like I just proposed."
It's the beginning of a beautiful--well, it's the beginning of something.