SPN 9.03
Since I have no internet and thus can't liveblog on tumblr, I'm kicking it oldschool with this episode and attempting an in-time blow by blow review.
Here we go!
THEN:
CASCASCASCAS!
Omg the Previously is going STRAIGHT TO CAS with stuff ALL ABOUT CAS. I knew this episode involved him and is going to involve Cas/other (which has all of fandom in a tizz), but this is like... it makes it seem like the episode is ALL ABOUT HIM! Like it's a CAS EPISODE. Like he's a MAIN CHARACTER and stuff. Eee!
So, uh, yes, Cas was trying to 'fix' Heaven with Metatron's help.
Only Metatron was a lying liar and had different ideas about how Heaven should be fixed that involved using Cas' grace to perform a spell that cast all angels out of Heaven and left Cas all but human (and Holly DIED and went to her own personal heaven because it was the PERFECT STORYLINE for her and she is still on Cloud 9 about it eeee!).
Now Cas is on Earth and all the fallen angels (or most of them at least) are gunning for him because they blame him for their fallen state (I predict they will be thanking him by the end of all this, well, some of them anyway, but we'll see...). Angels such as unfortunate Hael, whose vessel wasn't strong enough to hold her so she hatched a plan to share Cas' vessel against Cas' will.
Not being down with this, Cas arranged a little traffic accident for Hael and made his escape. Ditching his beloved trenchcoat along the way, but making up for it by being gloriously unclothed for a significant amount of time ;)
Meanwhile, another MALE angel called Ezekiel chose to help save dying Sam by secretly possessing him at Dean's say so. Because, you know, angels (or non humans in general) are only evil/psychotic/dangerous/in need of killing if they are FEMALE... or something... hmmm...
Although the trustworthiness of Zeke remains to be seen, to be fair.
REAPERS are also things that exist... gonna be chasing Sam this week are they?
Oh yeah-and Zeke is a secret from Sam, because if Sam finds out he's being possessed HE COULD DIE (which is really a fair reason for Dean to be keeping to secret in my mind tbh... though Dean decision to have Zeke possess Sam in the first place was/is gloriously dubiously moral!)
Aaaand
NOW:
Angels are asking priests for Cas? Curious...
Said priests are talking about having a 'Cassidy' round for dinner, and talking about how he can be a 'pain'-connection? Surely Cas can't have set himself up in a priesthood or something already, that would require a pretty serious time jump from last week...???
~!!!!!!!Jdwoar4p;cvjiekvtrl3k;qc'rjidrthuj!
I was SO CONFUSED about why we were suddenly cutting to a bathroom. I figured we were jumping to Sam and Dean and a standard case or something. But OMFG THE GUY WASHING HIS FACE IS CAS! I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE UNTIL HE LIFTED HIS HEAD AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND IT WAS MISHA JESUS FUCK! I JUST SPAT OUT THE SANDWICH I WAS EATING BECAUSE CAS! DOING HUMAN THINGS! IN DIFFERENT CLOTHES! THEY ARE NOT EVEN THE SAME CLOTHES AS LAST WEEK IS HE JUST GOING TO BE WEARING DIFFERENT CLOTHES NOW?! I CAN'T EVEN -!
*BREATHES*
ok... ok... moving on...
Aw, Cas, having problems with toothpaste. Cute.
And he's called himself 'Clarence,' heeeee! I like. Megstiel shippers can read stuff into that if they like I'm sure and power to them for it (there was even that quick flashback with Meg in the 'previously' too, I wondered what that was about) :) I'm not going to attach much significance other than he needed a name that wasn't his own (since angels are looking for that) and calling himself Sam/Dean/Winchester would be equally STUPID if he's trying to hide.
Cas is moving on 'after work' because 'it's time' ??? He's WORKING? This is... some kind of employee bathroom? What the hell job has he got? And why? Is he not just making for the bunker? Is it because he needs money for transport? Can't he hitchhike? Why am I typing up all these questions instead of watching??!
"Do you ever tire of urinating?"
lol! ♥
Ah, he IS wearing the same clothes. And 'work' is for the Church the priests earlier belonged to-some kind of homeless outreach program I guess. That makes sense. I can see Cas sort of falling into something like that.
Cas has found blood and is following it! Eeee! It's like an episode all about Cas working a case! :p
...only of course, it's not. Because the blood belongs to the priests who have been killed and presented on spikes in the cemetery, with their eyes burnt out. A gruesome message to Cas from the angels. Ouch :(
(*whispers* AWESOME though... *coughs* I mean... what?)
TITLES ARE THE BEST! ♥ ♥ ♥
This is called 'I'm No Angel'? This episode REALLY IS ABOUT CAS OMFG!
Anyway-yay Dean in the bunker pouring coffee and wearing a dressing gown. The bunker really has been good for Dean when it comes to relaxing and learning to be at ease in his own skin. I LOVE THE BUNKER Dean needs a home pls pls let it stay FOREVER!
(I'm sorry, the epic involvement of Cas and Cas being INDEPENDENT and COMPETENT and having his own storyline is just seriously overexciting me because it's EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED OMG! Because guys guys GUYS-Cas has his own storyline, aND WE ARE GETTING TO SEE IT ONSCREEN AND EVERYTHING AND-UGH!)
Oh WOW :-
SAM: [to Dean after he expresses surprise that Sam went for a morning run] Why do you look so worried? [his inflection sounds weird here to me... I'm not going to like it if I'm going to constantly suspect it's Zeke and not Sam talking because that's going to get annoying and, like I've briefly touched on already, I think it will diminish Sam's character/story somewhat, but perhaps I'm being paranoid here...]
DEAN: Let's see... there's Cas [and yes he says it with an emphasis!] who I told to haul ass here, that was days ago, he's still out there...
OMGOMG! A Cas mention ALREADY! And such a PERFECT ONE full of protective concern. And OMGOMG Cas being mentioned as FIRST IN DEAN'S MIND when it comes to things he's worried about, guYS GUYS!
(though of course Sam/Zeke will be the ACTUAL first thing on Dean's Worry List, but since he's talking to Sam that's a given, he's just making it the grand finale here I suspect)
Aaaaah, thank goodness-whenever Sam switches we are going to get glowing eyes and a change in posture and a CLEAR SWITCH? I am so so very happy to accept that ENTIRELY AT FACE VALUE. Let's make it clear here that I'm doing that I think-there will be PLENTY of meta I'm sure about whether what appears to be Sam is secretly Zeke, but I'm just not interested in all that, at least right now. Until further notice I'm taking this glowing eyes thing as clear cut indication of when Sam is Sam and when he's Zeke. Ergo, he was Sam before this moment (possible slightly strange inflection of speech aside) and now he is Zeke and there is no crossover...
...my brain can only handle so much at once, okay? And it's pretty much ALL focused on Cas' character development arc (!!!) and the other angels' dealing with being fallen. This new 'Sam is not Sam' and even Dean's kind of darkside or at least 'descent down a morally dubious path with good intentions' plot is SECONDARY to me (though, of course, there is an element of crossover since Zeke will also be part of the 'angels dealing with being fallen' plot).
God I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way Dean is SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE looking at 'Sam' when Zeke is in control. I would love to know if that's scripted or if that's all Jensen. Because it just makes ALL THE SENSE. Because Dean's used to Sam not being himself, but whenever that happens it means he has to FIGHT whoever is possessing Sam to get his brother back. Now he has this other being talking calmly, almost like a friend to him, using Sam's face... and Dean would just be torn by it, not knowing how to handle it.
Because it's not right to see Sam being controlled against his will, it's a horrible thing to see. But, of course, Dean needs to talk to Zeke... and, of course, Dean is the one who allowed this to happen. Which is the OTHER reason Dean can't bear to see Zeke talking through Sam, because it's a visual reminder of his decision, a visual reminder of his guilt, of his crime. Every time Zeke starts speaking it's a reminder of what Sam doesn't know, of how Dean has effectively BETRAYED his brother and is continuing to betray Sam as long as Zeke has possession of him.
And to make matters worse, you can tell Dean already half trusts Zeke (and... you know... doesn't that make sense? I was mad that a female didn't get this part, but actually it's men that Dean trusts more, isn't it? he's seeing in Zeke another Benny or, more likely, another CAS), so there's also another conflict there. Dean wants to connect with Zeke as a friend and feels a little bad, perhaps, that he is struggling to? Because the decision to let Zeke possess Sam, that's ON DEAN, and so he shouldn't hold it against Zeke that Zeke is simply existing in the way Dean told him to. And yet Dean DOES hold it against him, he CAN'T accept Zeke completely when he is wrongly in control of his brother... even if it was Dean who put Zeke in that position in the first place.
Oh wow-maybe my brain has room to think about this after all, it's so amazingly MESSED UP and COMPLICATED! ♥
Right, so back to the PLOT and stuff-
There is a faction of angels organising themselves, and it's THESE angels who want Cas... or, I think I understood that correctly? Like, not ALL angels are out for Cas' blood, just, primarily, this one group, or rather the leaders of this group. Okay, cool (though I guess various individual angels may or may not want personal revenge on Cas too).
Dean is worried Naomi might be in charge of this group (Cas really hasn't got in contact since 9.01 huh? if Dean doesn't know Naomi is dead). Zeke doesn't know the name Naomi-which is PROBABLY because of Naomi's mindwiping (but there's an outside change Zeke might BE Naomi and she is faking that :p a very VERY outside change though-and also the only 'Zeke isn't actually Ezekiel' theory I'm interested in right now).
Are Dean and Zeke (and Sam) going to go save Cas now? Is this really REALLY a CAS EPISODE??
Heh. I like Dean getting confused when Sam switches back. I look forward to the episode when he fails to cover up knowledge he's learnt from Zeke adequately enough for Sam.
I foresee that being an ongoing thing. Dean saying stuff that doesn't quite gel with Sam, knowing things he shouldn't know, talking like they're in the middle of a completely different conversation Sam isn't part of. Sam's gonna start calling Dean on that shit and eventually Dean is not going to have good enough answers. Sam's not dumb-he won't be piggy backed by an angel unawares for long.
Cut to Rev. Buddy Boyle-who is encouraging people to 'let in' the divine presence of angels.
Clever.
New angel! New evil(ish) angel!
Bartholomew...
*ducks out for a sec*
...nope. He's not in my Angel Dictionary either, no more than Ezekiel.
Def. a biblical name though, so perhaps there will be some meaning attached somewhere. 'Naomi' didn't relate all that much to her character though. I think TPTB are just picking biblical sounding names and that's that, personally :p
Heh. I like this set up. Using televangelists to create opportunities for vessels. The odd exploding human collateral damage. Angels not caring about humanity. Yup. All cool.
The question is-will Bart (and his organisation) continue beyond this episode? Or are the boys going to end this set-up this week and make way for new and different fallen angel set-ups through out the season?
Eeee, just LOOK at Dean working out where Cas might be. LOOK at all the effort he's putting in to find Cas (and all the effort the SHOW is going to to show Dean caring about finding Cas!).
Don't tell me TPTB don't care or don't listen. We complained last year that Cas wasn't mentioned enough in his absence and Dean didn't seem to care when Cas wasn't there and now look! We have a plethora of Cas mentions and Dean focusing a lot of energy into worrying about and looking for Cas. Progress! Success! This is TPTB noting what its audience likes/wants and giving it to us :D (not enough for some, I'm sure, but MORE THAN WE'VE HAD BEFORE and more than I personally would have expected to get-this is the Dean-Cas relationship being continually and ever more built up, bit by bit, and for me it's more in tune with the characters, and just plain more interesting, than having them instantly written into a romance with each other, so... *shrug*)
Look at Dean worrying about angels reaching Cas first! ♥
Eeeee! CAS! Cas in a homeless community, under a bridge. Aw.
CAS: You know I'm finding that often, people with the least to give are the most generous.
Awww ♥
Trufax.
CAS: It's occurred to me than one day I'm going to die.
Omg, Cas, bb! ♥
Check out how matter of fact and practical he's being about all this though. Cas isn't a hapless angel. He's smart, he knows how being human works. No naïve!childlike!human!Cas rubbish here. Excellent job, show.
Try counting sheep.
CAS: [confused] What sheep?
♥ ♥ ♥
But oh OH! Cas trying to sleep in an abandoned bus! My HEART!
(*whispers* have a nightmare! pls! ohplsplspls!)
Damn it, creepy angel! I'm waiting for Cas to have a nightmare here, do you HAVE to interrupt by being creepy? Grrr.
...I just CAN'T GET OVER Cas without a jacket though. Look at him, waking up in just shirts... walking around without Jimmy's clothes... just... IS THIS REAL LIFE?
Hello angel blade Cas is whipping out of nowhere... was that angel powers? Or did he just have it up his sleeve...? ...or possibly just next to him on the seat and he just picked it up...? It'll be Hael's I suppose...
Oh no Cas is hurt!
(I like that the other angels don't know he's human-hide that as long as you can bb! you are a legend, there WILL be angels scared to face you, don't let them know you are weak now... although even as a human Cas kicks ass, ftw!)
(also I'm not really upset that Cas is hurt, because, eeeee angst, h/c, yay Cas is hurt! Hurt him some more! ...but shhh, don't tell, people will look at me funny...)
(...ah, too late :p)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME DEAN DOESN'T KNOW 'IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE' GET THE FUCK OUT! I... THAT... THAT'S STUPID... UGH.
Still, at least they are talking about Cas being called 'Clarence' and why it's funny? For any of the viewing public who didn't know...? That's... is that cool? IDK. That exchange seemed stupid.
EEEEeEeeeee!!!! Cas is GETTING A TATTOO! I -! ♥ PERFECTION!
Not enough money to also get food though. Poor Cas :(
I do like how they are showing this so far. Cas very clearly making choices like this, and what each choice is costing him. How being human and free is a struggle.
Cut back to Bart and his crew.
Hmmm... I like Bart, but his underlings aren't being very well acted I feel...
Ah well.
Ah. Cut to the scene leaked on tumblr with Cas walking down the street looking anxious. Cue the woman 'with breasts' any minute. Let's see how it actually plays out...
Cas looking at hotdogs first-he is terribly hungry. Aw, once again, poor Cas :(
Huh... well that was a split-second blink and you'll miss it thing... IDEK... Obviously Cas noticed the woman's breasts (not so much the woman). So it WAS a kind of 'human male is more aware of the female body' kind of thing... but it's not like the show made a JOKE out of it... and Cas didn't look especially aroused or anything...
I think what they were going for with the scene was, as WAS speculated, Cas being overcome by human senses and, probably, human hormones. And I'm cool with Cas getting horny now, in a way he perhaps was never quite able to as an angel because back then he was able to keep himself at a distance from the physical. And I'm cool with him getting aroused by the female form, because I don't believe there's been enough evidence to imply categorically that Cas is either gay or asexual (although I have found the various arguments for the latter compelling). So... *shrugs* No big for me. Cas is getting physical, lustful feelings now, and they are a little distracting and a little disturbing and accompanied with all the other physical sensations/feelings he is suddenly finding himself pray to, it's a heady mix.
That all makes sense to me as something a previously mostly non-corporeal being would go through now being 100% physical (or, well, as much as any of us are).
ANNOYING, though, that the show seems to be showing lust ONLY through attraction to a FEMALE form. A better option in my mind would be Cas being distracted by BOTH female AND male bodies. This does work to reinforce the idea that lust is a naturally male-female thing, which is obviously not true.
(I'm not going to debate whether lust and/or physical attraction is a naturally human thing, which is the other implication... because if we are talking humanity as a species then I rather think it IS a natural element of humanity, so I'm not ALL that fussed about that implication myself, or that lust and/or physical attraction is something Cas will now have to contend with, even though there are, of course, individuals-including myself!-who DON'T naturally feel lust and/or physical attraction. I'm happy to accept that it IS part of the human condition as a whole and that a plot showcasing the human condition via Cas would involve Cas dealing with that aspect of it-sorry to all who had Cas as an asexual role model though, as 'blink and you'll miss it' as the moment was, I would consider it to have put paid to that interpretation).
Anyway, moving on, having lingered on this tiny moment far longer than the show itself has...
Cas enters a church. Because of course he does. Looking for something familiar. Somewhere he can centre himself. Aw, Cas, bb.
There's a woman in the church already, praying (out loud-which feels like poetic licence to me, how many people pray out loud in a quiet church like that? :p) for god to send 'his angels' to heal 'Mike.'
Is this going to be THE woman? The one everyone is het up about (pun intended)?
Pretty corny set up if so :p
Ah, nope. Mike is her husband. And I don't see Cas committing adultery.
Aw, that was a bittersweet conversation. I like the bleakness of this though! Of so many Christians still praying and believing in god and Heaven, even though it's spn FACT that god is gone and Heaven... isn't really in the business of helping humanity anymore, if it ever was. How delicious!
And how sad, Cas being told to have faith and pray. A complete reversal of the angel/person he was when we first met him, telling Dean the exact same thing. Oh Cas, now you understand how Dean felt in that moment a little better perhaps.
Cut to Bart...
Eeeee! The reference to Reapers was because Bart is recruiting a freelance Reaper to go after CAS, not because the Reapers are after Sam.
THIS IS SUCH A CASTIEL EPISODE I WANT TO CRY! THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED!
REAPER: How do I start looking for this Castiel?
BART: I got one word for you. Winchester.
THE WAY TO CASTIEL IS THROUGH THE WINCHESTERS THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED OMFG!
(also-aaah, more rogue Reapers huh? Well, Taxi Driver had to be good for something...)
FINALLY we get back to Sam and Dean-damn I'd almost forgotten about them :p
Looking into the affects of the vessel Cas killed along with the angel back in the old bus, our boys find out about good old televangelist Rev. Boyle and suspect foul play.
Sam calls the angels using Boyle to trick people into giving consent to be vessels 'body snatchers'-just a little aside to imply how angry/hurt Sam himself will be to learn his own body has been similarly 'snatched.' Building up the tension/suspense. I see what you're doing show, I see it...
Uh oh! Freelance Reaper is watching our boys every move! Dun dun DUN!
Aaaand, back to Cas.
Oh OH! Whose struggle with human needs has led him as far as contemplating thrown out food in a dumpster! Oh, Cas, bb!
And cue the ACTUAL woman of interest. Yes, she looks more like I would expect a supposed 'love interest' for a main character to look. Young, cute, (*cough*white*cough*), not esp. remarkable. But she could be cool! I'm game for a cute bit of Cas/other :) Let's see how this goes.
She works at the restaurant throwing away the food I'm assuming. I'm also gonna assume she's going to take Cas off the streets and buy him a nice hot meal-let's see how well my psychic powers are today :p
Eh... a little off. PB&J sandwich isn't exactly a hot meal. But not too far off... only now she's gone back to work... perhaps she's NOT 'the' woman?
And Cas sure is meeting a lot of the nicer side of humanity, huh? :p (though I'm not surprised-I know this is spn and people were expecting horrible things to happen to Cas... but I was expecting it to go down this way most likely, giving the message of 'humanity IS GOOD really,' so... yup... everything is moving along pretty much as expected for me so far...)
Meanwhile, Dean and Sam are still desperately looking for leads on Cas. Now talking to the other homeless where Cas was attacked in the bus and guys guys gUYS I STILL CAN'T-THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS ABOUT CAS, AND DEAN (and Sam) DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND CAS, AND FOCUSING ON ALL THE DIFFICULTIES THE BOYS ARE FACING TRYING TO FIND CAS AND HOW THEY ARE STRUGGLING TO OVERCOME THOSE DIFFICULTIES. Like right now with the people they are asking being afraid the boys are cops and Dean having to work hard to assure them they are NOT cops (which isn't helped by Sam using terminology like 'vic' :p) and just-THIS IS ALL FOR CAS BECAUSE THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT CAS AND TRYING TO FIND CAS. THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS ONE LONG CASCASCASCASCASCASCASCASCASCAS!
DID I DIE? IS THIS HEAVEN? RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO MARRY THIS EPISODE AND HAVE ITS BABIES.
Dean now badgering the guy Cas was talking to earlier for more information ♥
Though Dean's description of Cas leaves much to be desired. Still, he got the 'blue eyes' in there I suppose :p And I like Dean calling Cas 'a friend who's in it deep.' And the reaction shot when the guy says he got the impression Cas was 'on the run.'
I think we can call this scene an example of protective!Dean well enough :)
Anyway, this guy saw Cas get on a truck headed for Detroit and off our boys go.
AWWWWWWW CAS BB! SHIVERING IN THE RAIN!
THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING EPISODE!
And NOW the girl gets him off the streets. Called it :p (well, can't really take much credit, it was a no brainer).
I don't hate her so far.
April Kelly. Okay then. Welcome to the show, April.
Hee hee 'hell and back' jokes. I'm so corny-I'm going to LOVE all of those 'these metaphorical sayings are literal truths for Cas and/or angels' jokes! ♥
Bout time the boys clocked on to their Reaper tail (though I did wonder if Zeke might be the one to notice and confront him-but yay, the boys are good enough without Zeke, that's also cool!)
DAMN IT. I'm getting Cas h/c, but it's with this April chick and not Dean (and Sam). This is mildly upsetting. But as long as Cas is being taken care of I'm not TOO fussed. And, idk, I'm getting cool vibes from this girl so far. Not much to go on yet, but she seems nice and like she could be fun...
Also more topless Cas makes up for A LOT ;)
Cas' deadpan telling the truth, even when it's crazy, is also fun-ah, the man who attacked me, well I stabbed him and he exploded... obviously... :p
CAS: [explaining why he got attacked] I trusted the wrong person.
APRIL: Bad investment advice?
CAS: ...no, vanity. I thought I was more important, more effective, than I am. That I could fix everything. And now all I can do is keep running.
Awwww, Cas, bb. Unlike your hubris with Crowley, your decision to work with Metatron wasn't such a bad call. Most would have made the same mistake in your position x But interesting that he's still seeing pride/vanity in himself. Yes, your assessment of your motives is probably correct.
...you really ARE important AND effective though, Cas! Just... not in the ways you're trying to be x
April finishes patching Cas up but tell him is muscles are in knots (or something). Oh my god if she gives him a massage and it leads to sex this will be the MOST CLICHÉ THING EVER lol!
She IS, she IS GIVING HIM A MASSAGE.
...and telling him he's 'not alone tonight' omg this is all kinds of amusing :p
Awwww, kiss on the cheek, that's so SWEET... lingering looks... oh, go on go on, kiss! kiss!
AW!
Cas looking a little bit uncertain. Then just enjoying the softness of it, of having someone being gentle and caring with him. Then wanting, in a way that's all new, curious about the feeling, the taste, the sensations.
Sorry, I'm not sorry, but it's lovely and I LIKE IT and I'm HAPPY that Cas is clearly about to have a very sweet and gentle and warm first sexual experience (and who can blame the girl for making a move, when she has someone who looks like THAT in her apartment?).
It's just physical comfort and heat and attraction and why not?
I can feel the fandom hate building up like a raincloud hovering somewhere just behind me and I GET IT, I DO. Heteronormativity. Possible queerbaiting. We've been over it and OVER IT. And I even get the issues about denying asexuality.
...but you all MUST know me by now, right? You all MUST have known I was ALWAYS going to be okay with this? What you didn't know, because I didn't know, is that I'm liking this even better than I imagined I would, because it's NICE. It's LOVELY. And it feels perfectly in character for me.
Is it a necessary plot? Well, no. I wouldn't be troubled if it wasn't there.
But I like seeing Cas exploring what it is to be a physically sexual being (though I would have preferred it to be with a man). It doesn't contradict Dean/Cas in anyway for me personally.
I like it fandom. I even like the cheesy pan upwards. Oh, it's just so... SWEET. Yay for nice things for Cas!
♥
Heh heh-I also like that meanwhile, while Cas is perfectly fine and enjoying some of the softer, happier, pleasurable aspects of the flesh, Dean (and Sam) are still frantically searching for him, and in opposition are exposing the harsher, painful aspects of the flesh but torturing their tail of a Reaper.
Interestingly, this Reaper knew who Naomi was... curious? But he informs our boys she's dead (I will continue to hold out hope this is not true!) and that her 'protégée' Bart has taken over.
...yeah, okay, why not?
Ooooh, I do LIKE IT when Dean gets all 'torture master'-because it's... horrible, the way he goes all cold and efficient and kind of loses his humanity. Just a little reminder that Hell (and now Purgatory) is still in him. That there's still a monster in Dean, even though he tries so hard to fight it and bury it down. Idk it's just... *shivers* Compelling. And a reminder that our show is not about clean cut heroes. That our show is about ANTI-heroes. That sometimes our heroes aren't heroes at all.
Also, I like especially that Dean went cold over the reveal that more Reapers will be sent after Cas, and the idea that he killed this Reaper easy because this Reaper's job was to find and hurt Cas. Ugh! Protective!Dean ftw! ♥
Cut to-
*giggles*
Hee. Oh, Cas, bb! The way you are looking at the ceiling!
And jesus, girl, exactly WHEN did you find the time to light those sensual candles? Heeheehee!
...oh, but I'm still loving it though. It's cliché and kind of ridiculous as FUCK, but oh, idk, it's lovely! ♥
Oh oh look at him SMILING AND LAUGHING!
It's silly, but it's so SWEET!
I'm sorry that I like it, I'm kind of ashamed, it's so Rom-Com. But just-ohhhh! *melts*
(also-that is not an anti-possession tatt, that is enochian stuff only... you really should get an anti-possession one too, Cas, just fyi...)
APRIL: So what happens next for you?
CAS: More of this, I hope.
*slightly hysterical laughter* eh... you took it too far show, and you were doing so well! That was... that was TOO corny, even for me, sorry.
But, eh, I still don't hate it :p
Let's just... not TOO MUCH more, okay?
(Also, show, if you kill this girl, just to make Cas 'more of a Winchester,' like when you killed Kevin's girlfriend... that will be a BAD THING, do you understand? Now we've got April, just... leave her alone, alright?)
I am DYING to know how Dean is going to react to all this...
...I don't even mind if April sticks around for a few episodes... she and Cas can't actually have a long term relationship though that... I wouldn't like that...
GAH! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! WAS SHE AN ANGEL THIS WHOLE TIME?! THAT'S JUST THE MEANEST THING! D:
Wow, Dean is now so desperate to find Cas he is flat out APPEALING TO ZEKE.
Care more, Dean. I DARE YOU.
Back at Casa April-angel!April reveals that SHE WAS AN ANGEL ALL ALONG AND FAKING IT GODDAMN IT WHY COULDN'T CAS HAVE THAT ONE NICE THING WHY? D: (though now I think about it... 'April' was being a little bit TOO accommodating, and overlooking a little TOO much about Cas... *sigh* ...I guess I wanted Cas/other more than I realised, I was so happy to ignore the signs... wow... and now Cas may have the guilt of having... well... kind of raped April, since she obviously didn't consent... DAMN...)
(what I don't like about this is that it acts as an example of an angel mimicking their vessel... which can work in favour of theories that Zeke may be able to mimic or may already be mimicking, Sam... hmmm...)
Oh oh, now Cas is being tortured!
(*whispers* yay...)
(Confused though... not!April is talking about how she was 'hired'...would angels really think of themselves as 'hired?' ...is she a Reaper? But why would a Reaper have a host? No she MUST be an angel... New world, new terminology?)
OMGOMGOMG! AH! TOO MUCH AWESOME IS HAPPENING AT ONCE!
Um um, so, okay... Cas torture (*whispers* awesome...), but Cas is clever and suggests he should be kept alive in case he's the key to reversing Metatron's spell... not!April doesn't buy it though... then RESCUE!DEAN! God I squealed! Dean busting in to rescue a hurt and being tortured Cas! IS THERE ANY DEAN/CAS FAN WHO HAS NOT WRITTEN THIS FIC??!
Only now Cas has just been fatally stabbed and I'm flailing!
...*holds breath* (Zeke will heal him, right?? and that will be how Cas finds out about what Dean has done, and then Dean will have a confident to talk to about his morally dubious choices, and Cas will UNDERSTAND and BONDING and stuff...?)
Oh, well... I guess April won't be sticking around then? What with being stabbed to death and all. I thought there was talk about her being reoccurring? More worry over nothing?
SQUEAKS.
*HOLDS HAND TO FACE*
*HOLDS HANDS TO HEART*
Dean... Dean can yoUR VOICE TREMBLE A LITTLE MORE OVER CAS BEING APPARENTLY DEAD (AGAIN)? CAN YOU TOUCH HIM SOME MORE DEAN? CAN THE SHOW MAKE THIS ANY MORE WONDERFUL FOR ME?!
*flails*
*flails*
*flails*
Lots of stuff happened then. I'm too happy to break it all down.
Dean being heartbroken at Cas being 'gone.' Enough to drop into calling Sam 'Sammy,' which it's pretty canonical he only does when he's emotional (or trying to be annoying :p), right?? Cas' broken 'Dean' when he wakes up. Dean running over to him in delight. This bit of course :-
DEAN: Never do that again!
♥ ♥ ♥
I am concerned, because we didn't see the glowing blue eye switch into Zeke before he healed Cas though... am I going to have to resign myself to being suspicious of Sam 24/7, am I REALLY? Because... I just don't think I can do that... :/
But OMGOMG DEAN/CAS ACROSS THE BOARD! I can't really care about anything else right now! ♥
Oh! Dang. Dean can't reveal the truth about how Cas got healed in front of Sam, so he lies that he made not!April heal Cas. BLAST. I really was hoping Cas would know the truth and he and Dean would kind of work through the situation together...
...but perhaps there's better symmetry if Cas doesn't know... like how Cas kept Crowley etc a secret from the boys... eh... maybe...
This bit is cool :-
CAS: You lied [meaning to not!April]
DEAN: I did. I do that.
Yes, you do, don't you? I see what you did there show with the double meaning and stuff.
Though the 'comedy' music in the background over that line seems somewhat out of place...?
TEAM FREE WILL AT THE BUNKER! TEAM FREE WILL AT THE BUNKER! BE STILL MY HEART! ♥ ♥ ♥
Oh dear though, Dean, your lies to cover up Zeke are getting pretty involved already. Insisting you went through the Reaper's pockets to find out where Cas was? To the point of expressing ANNOYANCE at Sam for questioning you? This deception is going to go TOO FAR really damn FAST, isn't it?
*rubs hands together* Good.
CAS: [on being human] You look for purpose. And you must not be defeated by anger or despair... or hedonism for that matter.
Aw ♥ And do I think I see a little kind of squint and you'll see it hint at (hedonistic) future!Cas there? Tying Cas' sexual desires this episode back to what we have already seen of his character? Give Cas a truly physical life and he has physical appetites, including sexual. It's what I've always believed of Cas, how I've always interpreted him (barring a brief foray into asexual!Cas after reading some compelling meta, as I mentioned earlier).
LOL!
...LOL!
Oh oh! Cas explaining he had sex!
Their FACES!
Dean's... concern.
DEAN: Did you have protection?
CAS: ...I had my angel blade.
♥
That's that then :p
Also-I think we can read some sourness in Dean's expression if we want to, don't you all? ;)
Also Dean says Cas 'gave it up to a Reaper,' so that clears up April... still odd that a Reaper apparently possessed a girl, that's new, right? And... weird? ...but, whatever...
ALSO-Dean is SO HAPPY to have Cas at the bunker and planning to keep him around and WANTING the domestic life with Cas that everyone's been writing fic about all summer and wasn't everyone worried about Dean being evil and sending Cas away because he was a liability or whatever? Check out how Dean doesn't care about that, yay!
As it turns out it's ZEKE who tells Dean to send Cas away-
ZEKE: Bartholomew is massing a force. We can not stand an incursion. Castiel is in danger, and if he is here, I am in danger.
DEAN: You're in danger? From who, the angels?
ZEKE: If he stays, I'm afraid I will have no choice but to leave.
Well now... THAT doesn't sound suspicious at all... [/sarcasm]
Why didn't you answer Dean when he pressed about who you are in danger from? ...because you are in danger of Cas finding out that YOU ARE NOT EZEKIEL?
I'm still not 100% behind this theory... but this does nothing BUT SUPPORT IT I have to say *grows vigilant*
...oh fuck, and now Dean has a choice between Cas or his brother. Jesus, I was JUST TALKING TO MIDNIGHTECHO about how I'd been having visions of Dean being put in a position where he has to choose between Cas and Sam, because I thought it would be so gloriously angsty... but, ack, NOT LIKE THIS, not with CAS NOT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON... Dean is going to have to tell Cas to leave... and do it in front of Sam in order to give a plausible explanation to Sam so Zeke isn't revealed... and probably will reason that he CAN'T tell Cas the truth on the sly, because it will just be easier and make it more believable for Sam if Cas also doesn't know the real reason for being sent away (because then there will be no chance of Cas accidentally letting it slip to Sam... and maybe Dean is even afraid of Cas' judgement as well and doesn't want Cas to know...)
...the upshot of all this being that CAS WILL FEEL SO REJECTED. AND SO ALONE.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT THIS OR NOT OH GOD!
IT'S WONDERFULLY PAINFUL/TRAGIC... BUT OH GOD, CAS!
(...and notice it's not even been an option to me that Dean would choose for Zeke to leave? Of course Dean WOULD CHOOSE SAM over Cas if faced with the choice. Just like he chose Sam over Adam. There's no doubt in my mind about that fact. I just want Dean to angst over having to make the choice... because I'm a sick sick puppy :p)
Oh god... I don't want to watch this scene... this might be about to be one of the most painful scenes of the show for me...
...Cas is just SO GLAD TO BE THERE with the two of them!
...it's going to be such a SHOCK.
...is Dean going to be apologetic? Or is he going to force himself to be mean to Cas to force Cas to go? Make Cas hate him so it hurts both of them less to be apart?
Oh god...
*deep breath*
CAS: Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together.
*cries*
And Dean is just there thinking 'you fucker, you're not going to make this easy on me, are you?'
MAKE HIM MORE GUILTY, CAS!
Dean calling him 'buddy' - ;_;
Oh. Okay, I'm actually relieved that was a cliffhanger ending. The whole conversation would have KILLED.
I guess we'll just skip to the aftermath next week.
...angsty fic of Dean hating himself for this now pls fandom???
Verdict?
*breathes* Okay, so I guess this was sort of a gamechanging episode re: Cas and Dean/Cas. There was stuff in this episode that WILL split Cas and Dean/Cas fans. So I'm writing this aware that I'm picking a side here. Ergo if, as a consequence of the side I pick, anyone wants to stop following me-this would be the time. No hard feelings x I'll understand if my opinion of this one makes it clear in anyone's minds that our thoughts/feelings on certain things are incompatible.
Right, here's my opinion then-
Barring the odd minor quibble (some acting quality, some lines/dialogue being a bit too hammy/silly, Dean not knowing the film 'It's a Wonderful Life' because WTF??), I really enjoyed this episode.
Let me clarify that-I really enjoyed all parts of this episode.
Yes, that part included.
It was just the right blend of angst and hope. I thought the Dean/Cas subtext was BEAUTIFUL. I really like what's going on with the angels. The Zeke/Sam arc is growing more complex and I like the difficult and highly morally grey position it's putting Dean in. I'm LOVING Cas' personal journey/development, it's all progressing pretty much exactly as I'd hoped for (though I'd have preferred a little less heteronorativity). Did I mention the Dean/Cas subtext was wonderful? Did I mention how PSYCHED I am that Cas has his own storyarc, only FOR REAL this time, not just in the background and largely offscreen like all his arcs before now? Oh, and the Dean/Cas stuff was really great for me this episode... just sayin'
Thank you and goodnight.
Here we go!
THEN:
CASCASCASCAS!
Omg the Previously is going STRAIGHT TO CAS with stuff ALL ABOUT CAS. I knew this episode involved him and is going to involve Cas/other (which has all of fandom in a tizz), but this is like... it makes it seem like the episode is ALL ABOUT HIM! Like it's a CAS EPISODE. Like he's a MAIN CHARACTER and stuff. Eee!
So, uh, yes, Cas was trying to 'fix' Heaven with Metatron's help.
Only Metatron was a lying liar and had different ideas about how Heaven should be fixed that involved using Cas' grace to perform a spell that cast all angels out of Heaven and left Cas all but human (and Holly DIED and went to her own personal heaven because it was the PERFECT STORYLINE for her and she is still on Cloud 9 about it eeee!).
Now Cas is on Earth and all the fallen angels (or most of them at least) are gunning for him because they blame him for their fallen state (I predict they will be thanking him by the end of all this, well, some of them anyway, but we'll see...). Angels such as unfortunate Hael, whose vessel wasn't strong enough to hold her so she hatched a plan to share Cas' vessel against Cas' will.
Not being down with this, Cas arranged a little traffic accident for Hael and made his escape. Ditching his beloved trenchcoat along the way, but making up for it by being gloriously unclothed for a significant amount of time ;)
Meanwhile, another MALE angel called Ezekiel chose to help save dying Sam by secretly possessing him at Dean's say so. Because, you know, angels (or non humans in general) are only evil/psychotic/dangerous/in need of killing if they are FEMALE... or something... hmmm...
Although the trustworthiness of Zeke remains to be seen, to be fair.
REAPERS are also things that exist... gonna be chasing Sam this week are they?
Oh yeah-and Zeke is a secret from Sam, because if Sam finds out he's being possessed HE COULD DIE (which is really a fair reason for Dean to be keeping to secret in my mind tbh... though Dean decision to have Zeke possess Sam in the first place was/is gloriously dubiously moral!)
Aaaand
NOW:
Angels are asking priests for Cas? Curious...
Said priests are talking about having a 'Cassidy' round for dinner, and talking about how he can be a 'pain'-connection? Surely Cas can't have set himself up in a priesthood or something already, that would require a pretty serious time jump from last week...???
~!!!!!!!Jdwoar4p;cvjiekvtrl3k;qc'rjidrthuj!
I was SO CONFUSED about why we were suddenly cutting to a bathroom. I figured we were jumping to Sam and Dean and a standard case or something. But OMFG THE GUY WASHING HIS FACE IS CAS! I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE UNTIL HE LIFTED HIS HEAD AND LOOKED IN THE MIRROR AND IT WAS MISHA JESUS FUCK! I JUST SPAT OUT THE SANDWICH I WAS EATING BECAUSE CAS! DOING HUMAN THINGS! IN DIFFERENT CLOTHES! THEY ARE NOT EVEN THE SAME CLOTHES AS LAST WEEK IS HE JUST GOING TO BE WEARING DIFFERENT CLOTHES NOW?! I CAN'T EVEN -!
*BREATHES*
ok... ok... moving on...
Aw, Cas, having problems with toothpaste. Cute.
And he's called himself 'Clarence,' heeeee! I like. Megstiel shippers can read stuff into that if they like I'm sure and power to them for it (there was even that quick flashback with Meg in the 'previously' too, I wondered what that was about) :) I'm not going to attach much significance other than he needed a name that wasn't his own (since angels are looking for that) and calling himself Sam/Dean/Winchester would be equally STUPID if he's trying to hide.
Cas is moving on 'after work' because 'it's time' ??? He's WORKING? This is... some kind of employee bathroom? What the hell job has he got? And why? Is he not just making for the bunker? Is it because he needs money for transport? Can't he hitchhike? Why am I typing up all these questions instead of watching??!
"Do you ever tire of urinating?"
lol! ♥
Ah, he IS wearing the same clothes. And 'work' is for the Church the priests earlier belonged to-some kind of homeless outreach program I guess. That makes sense. I can see Cas sort of falling into something like that.
Cas has found blood and is following it! Eeee! It's like an episode all about Cas working a case! :p
...only of course, it's not. Because the blood belongs to the priests who have been killed and presented on spikes in the cemetery, with their eyes burnt out. A gruesome message to Cas from the angels. Ouch :(
(*whispers* AWESOME though... *coughs* I mean... what?)
TITLES ARE THE BEST! ♥ ♥ ♥
This is called 'I'm No Angel'? This episode REALLY IS ABOUT CAS OMFG!
Anyway-yay Dean in the bunker pouring coffee and wearing a dressing gown. The bunker really has been good for Dean when it comes to relaxing and learning to be at ease in his own skin. I LOVE THE BUNKER Dean needs a home pls pls let it stay FOREVER!
(I'm sorry, the epic involvement of Cas and Cas being INDEPENDENT and COMPETENT and having his own storyline is just seriously overexciting me because it's EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED OMG! Because guys guys GUYS-Cas has his own storyline, aND WE ARE GETTING TO SEE IT ONSCREEN AND EVERYTHING AND-UGH!)
Oh WOW :-
SAM: [to Dean after he expresses surprise that Sam went for a morning run] Why do you look so worried? [his inflection sounds weird here to me... I'm not going to like it if I'm going to constantly suspect it's Zeke and not Sam talking because that's going to get annoying and, like I've briefly touched on already, I think it will diminish Sam's character/story somewhat, but perhaps I'm being paranoid here...]
DEAN: Let's see... there's Cas [and yes he says it with an emphasis!] who I told to haul ass here, that was days ago, he's still out there...
OMGOMG! A Cas mention ALREADY! And such a PERFECT ONE full of protective concern. And OMGOMG Cas being mentioned as FIRST IN DEAN'S MIND when it comes to things he's worried about, guYS GUYS!
(though of course Sam/Zeke will be the ACTUAL first thing on Dean's Worry List, but since he's talking to Sam that's a given, he's just making it the grand finale here I suspect)
Aaaaah, thank goodness-whenever Sam switches we are going to get glowing eyes and a change in posture and a CLEAR SWITCH? I am so so very happy to accept that ENTIRELY AT FACE VALUE. Let's make it clear here that I'm doing that I think-there will be PLENTY of meta I'm sure about whether what appears to be Sam is secretly Zeke, but I'm just not interested in all that, at least right now. Until further notice I'm taking this glowing eyes thing as clear cut indication of when Sam is Sam and when he's Zeke. Ergo, he was Sam before this moment (possible slightly strange inflection of speech aside) and now he is Zeke and there is no crossover...
...my brain can only handle so much at once, okay? And it's pretty much ALL focused on Cas' character development arc (!!!) and the other angels' dealing with being fallen. This new 'Sam is not Sam' and even Dean's kind of darkside or at least 'descent down a morally dubious path with good intentions' plot is SECONDARY to me (though, of course, there is an element of crossover since Zeke will also be part of the 'angels dealing with being fallen' plot).
God I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way Dean is SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE looking at 'Sam' when Zeke is in control. I would love to know if that's scripted or if that's all Jensen. Because it just makes ALL THE SENSE. Because Dean's used to Sam not being himself, but whenever that happens it means he has to FIGHT whoever is possessing Sam to get his brother back. Now he has this other being talking calmly, almost like a friend to him, using Sam's face... and Dean would just be torn by it, not knowing how to handle it.
Because it's not right to see Sam being controlled against his will, it's a horrible thing to see. But, of course, Dean needs to talk to Zeke... and, of course, Dean is the one who allowed this to happen. Which is the OTHER reason Dean can't bear to see Zeke talking through Sam, because it's a visual reminder of his decision, a visual reminder of his guilt, of his crime. Every time Zeke starts speaking it's a reminder of what Sam doesn't know, of how Dean has effectively BETRAYED his brother and is continuing to betray Sam as long as Zeke has possession of him.
And to make matters worse, you can tell Dean already half trusts Zeke (and... you know... doesn't that make sense? I was mad that a female didn't get this part, but actually it's men that Dean trusts more, isn't it? he's seeing in Zeke another Benny or, more likely, another CAS), so there's also another conflict there. Dean wants to connect with Zeke as a friend and feels a little bad, perhaps, that he is struggling to? Because the decision to let Zeke possess Sam, that's ON DEAN, and so he shouldn't hold it against Zeke that Zeke is simply existing in the way Dean told him to. And yet Dean DOES hold it against him, he CAN'T accept Zeke completely when he is wrongly in control of his brother... even if it was Dean who put Zeke in that position in the first place.
Oh wow-maybe my brain has room to think about this after all, it's so amazingly MESSED UP and COMPLICATED! ♥
Right, so back to the PLOT and stuff-
There is a faction of angels organising themselves, and it's THESE angels who want Cas... or, I think I understood that correctly? Like, not ALL angels are out for Cas' blood, just, primarily, this one group, or rather the leaders of this group. Okay, cool (though I guess various individual angels may or may not want personal revenge on Cas too).
Dean is worried Naomi might be in charge of this group (Cas really hasn't got in contact since 9.01 huh? if Dean doesn't know Naomi is dead). Zeke doesn't know the name Naomi-which is PROBABLY because of Naomi's mindwiping (but there's an outside change Zeke might BE Naomi and she is faking that :p a very VERY outside change though-and also the only 'Zeke isn't actually Ezekiel' theory I'm interested in right now).
Are Dean and Zeke (and Sam) going to go save Cas now? Is this really REALLY a CAS EPISODE??
Heh. I like Dean getting confused when Sam switches back. I look forward to the episode when he fails to cover up knowledge he's learnt from Zeke adequately enough for Sam.
I foresee that being an ongoing thing. Dean saying stuff that doesn't quite gel with Sam, knowing things he shouldn't know, talking like they're in the middle of a completely different conversation Sam isn't part of. Sam's gonna start calling Dean on that shit and eventually Dean is not going to have good enough answers. Sam's not dumb-he won't be piggy backed by an angel unawares for long.
Cut to Rev. Buddy Boyle-who is encouraging people to 'let in' the divine presence of angels.
Clever.
New angel! New evil(ish) angel!
Bartholomew...
*ducks out for a sec*
...nope. He's not in my Angel Dictionary either, no more than Ezekiel.
Def. a biblical name though, so perhaps there will be some meaning attached somewhere. 'Naomi' didn't relate all that much to her character though. I think TPTB are just picking biblical sounding names and that's that, personally :p
Heh. I like this set up. Using televangelists to create opportunities for vessels. The odd exploding human collateral damage. Angels not caring about humanity. Yup. All cool.
The question is-will Bart (and his organisation) continue beyond this episode? Or are the boys going to end this set-up this week and make way for new and different fallen angel set-ups through out the season?
Eeee, just LOOK at Dean working out where Cas might be. LOOK at all the effort he's putting in to find Cas (and all the effort the SHOW is going to to show Dean caring about finding Cas!).
Don't tell me TPTB don't care or don't listen. We complained last year that Cas wasn't mentioned enough in his absence and Dean didn't seem to care when Cas wasn't there and now look! We have a plethora of Cas mentions and Dean focusing a lot of energy into worrying about and looking for Cas. Progress! Success! This is TPTB noting what its audience likes/wants and giving it to us :D (not enough for some, I'm sure, but MORE THAN WE'VE HAD BEFORE and more than I personally would have expected to get-this is the Dean-Cas relationship being continually and ever more built up, bit by bit, and for me it's more in tune with the characters, and just plain more interesting, than having them instantly written into a romance with each other, so... *shrug*)
Look at Dean worrying about angels reaching Cas first! ♥
Eeeee! CAS! Cas in a homeless community, under a bridge. Aw.
CAS: You know I'm finding that often, people with the least to give are the most generous.
Awww ♥
Trufax.
CAS: It's occurred to me than one day I'm going to die.
Omg, Cas, bb! ♥
Check out how matter of fact and practical he's being about all this though. Cas isn't a hapless angel. He's smart, he knows how being human works. No naïve!childlike!human!Cas rubbish here. Excellent job, show.
Try counting sheep.
CAS: [confused] What sheep?
♥ ♥ ♥
But oh OH! Cas trying to sleep in an abandoned bus! My HEART!
(*whispers* have a nightmare! pls! ohplsplspls!)
Damn it, creepy angel! I'm waiting for Cas to have a nightmare here, do you HAVE to interrupt by being creepy? Grrr.
...I just CAN'T GET OVER Cas without a jacket though. Look at him, waking up in just shirts... walking around without Jimmy's clothes... just... IS THIS REAL LIFE?
Hello angel blade Cas is whipping out of nowhere... was that angel powers? Or did he just have it up his sleeve...? ...or possibly just next to him on the seat and he just picked it up...? It'll be Hael's I suppose...
Oh no Cas is hurt!
(I like that the other angels don't know he's human-hide that as long as you can bb! you are a legend, there WILL be angels scared to face you, don't let them know you are weak now... although even as a human Cas kicks ass, ftw!)
(also I'm not really upset that Cas is hurt, because, eeeee angst, h/c, yay Cas is hurt! Hurt him some more! ...but shhh, don't tell, people will look at me funny...)
(...ah, too late :p)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME DEAN DOESN'T KNOW 'IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE' GET THE FUCK OUT! I... THAT... THAT'S STUPID... UGH.
Still, at least they are talking about Cas being called 'Clarence' and why it's funny? For any of the viewing public who didn't know...? That's... is that cool? IDK. That exchange seemed stupid.
EEEEeEeeeee!!!! Cas is GETTING A TATTOO! I -! ♥ PERFECTION!
Not enough money to also get food though. Poor Cas :(
I do like how they are showing this so far. Cas very clearly making choices like this, and what each choice is costing him. How being human and free is a struggle.
Cut back to Bart and his crew.
Hmmm... I like Bart, but his underlings aren't being very well acted I feel...
Ah well.
Ah. Cut to the scene leaked on tumblr with Cas walking down the street looking anxious. Cue the woman 'with breasts' any minute. Let's see how it actually plays out...
Cas looking at hotdogs first-he is terribly hungry. Aw, once again, poor Cas :(
Huh... well that was a split-second blink and you'll miss it thing... IDEK... Obviously Cas noticed the woman's breasts (not so much the woman). So it WAS a kind of 'human male is more aware of the female body' kind of thing... but it's not like the show made a JOKE out of it... and Cas didn't look especially aroused or anything...
I think what they were going for with the scene was, as WAS speculated, Cas being overcome by human senses and, probably, human hormones. And I'm cool with Cas getting horny now, in a way he perhaps was never quite able to as an angel because back then he was able to keep himself at a distance from the physical. And I'm cool with him getting aroused by the female form, because I don't believe there's been enough evidence to imply categorically that Cas is either gay or asexual (although I have found the various arguments for the latter compelling). So... *shrugs* No big for me. Cas is getting physical, lustful feelings now, and they are a little distracting and a little disturbing and accompanied with all the other physical sensations/feelings he is suddenly finding himself pray to, it's a heady mix.
That all makes sense to me as something a previously mostly non-corporeal being would go through now being 100% physical (or, well, as much as any of us are).
ANNOYING, though, that the show seems to be showing lust ONLY through attraction to a FEMALE form. A better option in my mind would be Cas being distracted by BOTH female AND male bodies. This does work to reinforce the idea that lust is a naturally male-female thing, which is obviously not true.
(I'm not going to debate whether lust and/or physical attraction is a naturally human thing, which is the other implication... because if we are talking humanity as a species then I rather think it IS a natural element of humanity, so I'm not ALL that fussed about that implication myself, or that lust and/or physical attraction is something Cas will now have to contend with, even though there are, of course, individuals-including myself!-who DON'T naturally feel lust and/or physical attraction. I'm happy to accept that it IS part of the human condition as a whole and that a plot showcasing the human condition via Cas would involve Cas dealing with that aspect of it-sorry to all who had Cas as an asexual role model though, as 'blink and you'll miss it' as the moment was, I would consider it to have put paid to that interpretation).
Anyway, moving on, having lingered on this tiny moment far longer than the show itself has...
Cas enters a church. Because of course he does. Looking for something familiar. Somewhere he can centre himself. Aw, Cas, bb.
There's a woman in the church already, praying (out loud-which feels like poetic licence to me, how many people pray out loud in a quiet church like that? :p) for god to send 'his angels' to heal 'Mike.'
Is this going to be THE woman? The one everyone is het up about (pun intended)?
Pretty corny set up if so :p
Ah, nope. Mike is her husband. And I don't see Cas committing adultery.
Aw, that was a bittersweet conversation. I like the bleakness of this though! Of so many Christians still praying and believing in god and Heaven, even though it's spn FACT that god is gone and Heaven... isn't really in the business of helping humanity anymore, if it ever was. How delicious!
And how sad, Cas being told to have faith and pray. A complete reversal of the angel/person he was when we first met him, telling Dean the exact same thing. Oh Cas, now you understand how Dean felt in that moment a little better perhaps.
Cut to Bart...
Eeeee! The reference to Reapers was because Bart is recruiting a freelance Reaper to go after CAS, not because the Reapers are after Sam.
THIS IS SUCH A CASTIEL EPISODE I WANT TO CRY! THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED!
REAPER: How do I start looking for this Castiel?
BART: I got one word for you. Winchester.
THE WAY TO CASTIEL IS THROUGH THE WINCHESTERS THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED OMFG!
(also-aaah, more rogue Reapers huh? Well, Taxi Driver had to be good for something...)
FINALLY we get back to Sam and Dean-damn I'd almost forgotten about them :p
Looking into the affects of the vessel Cas killed along with the angel back in the old bus, our boys find out about good old televangelist Rev. Boyle and suspect foul play.
Sam calls the angels using Boyle to trick people into giving consent to be vessels 'body snatchers'-just a little aside to imply how angry/hurt Sam himself will be to learn his own body has been similarly 'snatched.' Building up the tension/suspense. I see what you're doing show, I see it...
Uh oh! Freelance Reaper is watching our boys every move! Dun dun DUN!
Aaaand, back to Cas.
Oh OH! Whose struggle with human needs has led him as far as contemplating thrown out food in a dumpster! Oh, Cas, bb!
And cue the ACTUAL woman of interest. Yes, she looks more like I would expect a supposed 'love interest' for a main character to look. Young, cute, (*cough*white*cough*), not esp. remarkable. But she could be cool! I'm game for a cute bit of Cas/other :) Let's see how this goes.
She works at the restaurant throwing away the food I'm assuming. I'm also gonna assume she's going to take Cas off the streets and buy him a nice hot meal-let's see how well my psychic powers are today :p
Eh... a little off. PB&J sandwich isn't exactly a hot meal. But not too far off... only now she's gone back to work... perhaps she's NOT 'the' woman?
And Cas sure is meeting a lot of the nicer side of humanity, huh? :p (though I'm not surprised-I know this is spn and people were expecting horrible things to happen to Cas... but I was expecting it to go down this way most likely, giving the message of 'humanity IS GOOD really,' so... yup... everything is moving along pretty much as expected for me so far...)
Meanwhile, Dean and Sam are still desperately looking for leads on Cas. Now talking to the other homeless where Cas was attacked in the bus and guys guys gUYS I STILL CAN'T-THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS ABOUT CAS, AND DEAN (and Sam) DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND CAS, AND FOCUSING ON ALL THE DIFFICULTIES THE BOYS ARE FACING TRYING TO FIND CAS AND HOW THEY ARE STRUGGLING TO OVERCOME THOSE DIFFICULTIES. Like right now with the people they are asking being afraid the boys are cops and Dean having to work hard to assure them they are NOT cops (which isn't helped by Sam using terminology like 'vic' :p) and just-THIS IS ALL FOR CAS BECAUSE THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT CAS AND TRYING TO FIND CAS. THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS ONE LONG CASCASCASCASCASCASCASCASCASCAS!
DID I DIE? IS THIS HEAVEN? RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO MARRY THIS EPISODE AND HAVE ITS BABIES.
Dean now badgering the guy Cas was talking to earlier for more information ♥
Though Dean's description of Cas leaves much to be desired. Still, he got the 'blue eyes' in there I suppose :p And I like Dean calling Cas 'a friend who's in it deep.' And the reaction shot when the guy says he got the impression Cas was 'on the run.'
I think we can call this scene an example of protective!Dean well enough :)
Anyway, this guy saw Cas get on a truck headed for Detroit and off our boys go.
AWWWWWWW CAS BB! SHIVERING IN THE RAIN!
THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING EPISODE!
And NOW the girl gets him off the streets. Called it :p (well, can't really take much credit, it was a no brainer).
I don't hate her so far.
April Kelly. Okay then. Welcome to the show, April.
Hee hee 'hell and back' jokes. I'm so corny-I'm going to LOVE all of those 'these metaphorical sayings are literal truths for Cas and/or angels' jokes! ♥
Bout time the boys clocked on to their Reaper tail (though I did wonder if Zeke might be the one to notice and confront him-but yay, the boys are good enough without Zeke, that's also cool!)
DAMN IT. I'm getting Cas h/c, but it's with this April chick and not Dean (and Sam). This is mildly upsetting. But as long as Cas is being taken care of I'm not TOO fussed. And, idk, I'm getting cool vibes from this girl so far. Not much to go on yet, but she seems nice and like she could be fun...
Also more topless Cas makes up for A LOT ;)
Cas' deadpan telling the truth, even when it's crazy, is also fun-ah, the man who attacked me, well I stabbed him and he exploded... obviously... :p
CAS: [explaining why he got attacked] I trusted the wrong person.
APRIL: Bad investment advice?
CAS: ...no, vanity. I thought I was more important, more effective, than I am. That I could fix everything. And now all I can do is keep running.
Awwww, Cas, bb. Unlike your hubris with Crowley, your decision to work with Metatron wasn't such a bad call. Most would have made the same mistake in your position x But interesting that he's still seeing pride/vanity in himself. Yes, your assessment of your motives is probably correct.
...you really ARE important AND effective though, Cas! Just... not in the ways you're trying to be x
April finishes patching Cas up but tell him is muscles are in knots (or something). Oh my god if she gives him a massage and it leads to sex this will be the MOST CLICHÉ THING EVER lol!
She IS, she IS GIVING HIM A MASSAGE.
...and telling him he's 'not alone tonight' omg this is all kinds of amusing :p
Awwww, kiss on the cheek, that's so SWEET... lingering looks... oh, go on go on, kiss! kiss!
AW!
Cas looking a little bit uncertain. Then just enjoying the softness of it, of having someone being gentle and caring with him. Then wanting, in a way that's all new, curious about the feeling, the taste, the sensations.
Sorry, I'm not sorry, but it's lovely and I LIKE IT and I'm HAPPY that Cas is clearly about to have a very sweet and gentle and warm first sexual experience (and who can blame the girl for making a move, when she has someone who looks like THAT in her apartment?).
It's just physical comfort and heat and attraction and why not?
I can feel the fandom hate building up like a raincloud hovering somewhere just behind me and I GET IT, I DO. Heteronormativity. Possible queerbaiting. We've been over it and OVER IT. And I even get the issues about denying asexuality.
...but you all MUST know me by now, right? You all MUST have known I was ALWAYS going to be okay with this? What you didn't know, because I didn't know, is that I'm liking this even better than I imagined I would, because it's NICE. It's LOVELY. And it feels perfectly in character for me.
Is it a necessary plot? Well, no. I wouldn't be troubled if it wasn't there.
But I like seeing Cas exploring what it is to be a physically sexual being (though I would have preferred it to be with a man). It doesn't contradict Dean/Cas in anyway for me personally.
I like it fandom. I even like the cheesy pan upwards. Oh, it's just so... SWEET. Yay for nice things for Cas!
♥
Heh heh-I also like that meanwhile, while Cas is perfectly fine and enjoying some of the softer, happier, pleasurable aspects of the flesh, Dean (and Sam) are still frantically searching for him, and in opposition are exposing the harsher, painful aspects of the flesh but torturing their tail of a Reaper.
Interestingly, this Reaper knew who Naomi was... curious? But he informs our boys she's dead (I will continue to hold out hope this is not true!) and that her 'protégée' Bart has taken over.
...yeah, okay, why not?
Ooooh, I do LIKE IT when Dean gets all 'torture master'-because it's... horrible, the way he goes all cold and efficient and kind of loses his humanity. Just a little reminder that Hell (and now Purgatory) is still in him. That there's still a monster in Dean, even though he tries so hard to fight it and bury it down. Idk it's just... *shivers* Compelling. And a reminder that our show is not about clean cut heroes. That our show is about ANTI-heroes. That sometimes our heroes aren't heroes at all.
Also, I like especially that Dean went cold over the reveal that more Reapers will be sent after Cas, and the idea that he killed this Reaper easy because this Reaper's job was to find and hurt Cas. Ugh! Protective!Dean ftw! ♥
Cut to-
*giggles*
Hee. Oh, Cas, bb! The way you are looking at the ceiling!
And jesus, girl, exactly WHEN did you find the time to light those sensual candles? Heeheehee!
...oh, but I'm still loving it though. It's cliché and kind of ridiculous as FUCK, but oh, idk, it's lovely! ♥
Oh oh look at him SMILING AND LAUGHING!
It's silly, but it's so SWEET!
I'm sorry that I like it, I'm kind of ashamed, it's so Rom-Com. But just-ohhhh! *melts*
(also-that is not an anti-possession tatt, that is enochian stuff only... you really should get an anti-possession one too, Cas, just fyi...)
APRIL: So what happens next for you?
CAS: More of this, I hope.
*slightly hysterical laughter* eh... you took it too far show, and you were doing so well! That was... that was TOO corny, even for me, sorry.
But, eh, I still don't hate it :p
Let's just... not TOO MUCH more, okay?
(Also, show, if you kill this girl, just to make Cas 'more of a Winchester,' like when you killed Kevin's girlfriend... that will be a BAD THING, do you understand? Now we've got April, just... leave her alone, alright?)
I am DYING to know how Dean is going to react to all this...
...I don't even mind if April sticks around for a few episodes... she and Cas can't actually have a long term relationship though that... I wouldn't like that...
GAH! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! WAS SHE AN ANGEL THIS WHOLE TIME?! THAT'S JUST THE MEANEST THING! D:
Wow, Dean is now so desperate to find Cas he is flat out APPEALING TO ZEKE.
Care more, Dean. I DARE YOU.
Back at Casa April-angel!April reveals that SHE WAS AN ANGEL ALL ALONG AND FAKING IT GODDAMN IT WHY COULDN'T CAS HAVE THAT ONE NICE THING WHY? D: (though now I think about it... 'April' was being a little bit TOO accommodating, and overlooking a little TOO much about Cas... *sigh* ...I guess I wanted Cas/other more than I realised, I was so happy to ignore the signs... wow... and now Cas may have the guilt of having... well... kind of raped April, since she obviously didn't consent... DAMN...)
(what I don't like about this is that it acts as an example of an angel mimicking their vessel... which can work in favour of theories that Zeke may be able to mimic or may already be mimicking, Sam... hmmm...)
Oh oh, now Cas is being tortured!
(*whispers* yay...)
(Confused though... not!April is talking about how she was 'hired'...would angels really think of themselves as 'hired?' ...is she a Reaper? But why would a Reaper have a host? No she MUST be an angel... New world, new terminology?)
OMGOMGOMG! AH! TOO MUCH AWESOME IS HAPPENING AT ONCE!
Um um, so, okay... Cas torture (*whispers* awesome...), but Cas is clever and suggests he should be kept alive in case he's the key to reversing Metatron's spell... not!April doesn't buy it though... then RESCUE!DEAN! God I squealed! Dean busting in to rescue a hurt and being tortured Cas! IS THERE ANY DEAN/CAS FAN WHO HAS NOT WRITTEN THIS FIC??!
Only now Cas has just been fatally stabbed and I'm flailing!
...*holds breath* (Zeke will heal him, right?? and that will be how Cas finds out about what Dean has done, and then Dean will have a confident to talk to about his morally dubious choices, and Cas will UNDERSTAND and BONDING and stuff...?)
Oh, well... I guess April won't be sticking around then? What with being stabbed to death and all. I thought there was talk about her being reoccurring? More worry over nothing?
SQUEAKS.
*HOLDS HAND TO FACE*
*HOLDS HANDS TO HEART*
Dean... Dean can yoUR VOICE TREMBLE A LITTLE MORE OVER CAS BEING APPARENTLY DEAD (AGAIN)? CAN YOU TOUCH HIM SOME MORE DEAN? CAN THE SHOW MAKE THIS ANY MORE WONDERFUL FOR ME?!
*flails*
*flails*
*flails*
Lots of stuff happened then. I'm too happy to break it all down.
Dean being heartbroken at Cas being 'gone.' Enough to drop into calling Sam 'Sammy,' which it's pretty canonical he only does when he's emotional (or trying to be annoying :p), right?? Cas' broken 'Dean' when he wakes up. Dean running over to him in delight. This bit of course :-
DEAN: Never do that again!
♥ ♥ ♥
I am concerned, because we didn't see the glowing blue eye switch into Zeke before he healed Cas though... am I going to have to resign myself to being suspicious of Sam 24/7, am I REALLY? Because... I just don't think I can do that... :/
But OMGOMG DEAN/CAS ACROSS THE BOARD! I can't really care about anything else right now! ♥
Oh! Dang. Dean can't reveal the truth about how Cas got healed in front of Sam, so he lies that he made not!April heal Cas. BLAST. I really was hoping Cas would know the truth and he and Dean would kind of work through the situation together...
...but perhaps there's better symmetry if Cas doesn't know... like how Cas kept Crowley etc a secret from the boys... eh... maybe...
This bit is cool :-
CAS: You lied [meaning to not!April]
DEAN: I did. I do that.
Yes, you do, don't you? I see what you did there show with the double meaning and stuff.
Though the 'comedy' music in the background over that line seems somewhat out of place...?
TEAM FREE WILL AT THE BUNKER! TEAM FREE WILL AT THE BUNKER! BE STILL MY HEART! ♥ ♥ ♥
Oh dear though, Dean, your lies to cover up Zeke are getting pretty involved already. Insisting you went through the Reaper's pockets to find out where Cas was? To the point of expressing ANNOYANCE at Sam for questioning you? This deception is going to go TOO FAR really damn FAST, isn't it?
*rubs hands together* Good.
CAS: [on being human] You look for purpose. And you must not be defeated by anger or despair... or hedonism for that matter.
Aw ♥ And do I think I see a little kind of squint and you'll see it hint at (hedonistic) future!Cas there? Tying Cas' sexual desires this episode back to what we have already seen of his character? Give Cas a truly physical life and he has physical appetites, including sexual. It's what I've always believed of Cas, how I've always interpreted him (barring a brief foray into asexual!Cas after reading some compelling meta, as I mentioned earlier).
LOL!
...LOL!
Oh oh! Cas explaining he had sex!
Their FACES!
Dean's... concern.
DEAN: Did you have protection?
CAS: ...I had my angel blade.
♥
That's that then :p
Also-I think we can read some sourness in Dean's expression if we want to, don't you all? ;)
Also Dean says Cas 'gave it up to a Reaper,' so that clears up April... still odd that a Reaper apparently possessed a girl, that's new, right? And... weird? ...but, whatever...
ALSO-Dean is SO HAPPY to have Cas at the bunker and planning to keep him around and WANTING the domestic life with Cas that everyone's been writing fic about all summer and wasn't everyone worried about Dean being evil and sending Cas away because he was a liability or whatever? Check out how Dean doesn't care about that, yay!
As it turns out it's ZEKE who tells Dean to send Cas away-
ZEKE: Bartholomew is massing a force. We can not stand an incursion. Castiel is in danger, and if he is here, I am in danger.
DEAN: You're in danger? From who, the angels?
ZEKE: If he stays, I'm afraid I will have no choice but to leave.
Well now... THAT doesn't sound suspicious at all... [/sarcasm]
Why didn't you answer Dean when he pressed about who you are in danger from? ...because you are in danger of Cas finding out that YOU ARE NOT EZEKIEL?
I'm still not 100% behind this theory... but this does nothing BUT SUPPORT IT I have to say *grows vigilant*
...oh fuck, and now Dean has a choice between Cas or his brother. Jesus, I was JUST TALKING TO MIDNIGHTECHO about how I'd been having visions of Dean being put in a position where he has to choose between Cas and Sam, because I thought it would be so gloriously angsty... but, ack, NOT LIKE THIS, not with CAS NOT KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON... Dean is going to have to tell Cas to leave... and do it in front of Sam in order to give a plausible explanation to Sam so Zeke isn't revealed... and probably will reason that he CAN'T tell Cas the truth on the sly, because it will just be easier and make it more believable for Sam if Cas also doesn't know the real reason for being sent away (because then there will be no chance of Cas accidentally letting it slip to Sam... and maybe Dean is even afraid of Cas' judgement as well and doesn't want Cas to know...)
...the upshot of all this being that CAS WILL FEEL SO REJECTED. AND SO ALONE.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT THIS OR NOT OH GOD!
IT'S WONDERFULLY PAINFUL/TRAGIC... BUT OH GOD, CAS!
(...and notice it's not even been an option to me that Dean would choose for Zeke to leave? Of course Dean WOULD CHOOSE SAM over Cas if faced with the choice. Just like he chose Sam over Adam. There's no doubt in my mind about that fact. I just want Dean to angst over having to make the choice... because I'm a sick sick puppy :p)
Oh god... I don't want to watch this scene... this might be about to be one of the most painful scenes of the show for me...
...Cas is just SO GLAD TO BE THERE with the two of them!
...it's going to be such a SHOCK.
...is Dean going to be apologetic? Or is he going to force himself to be mean to Cas to force Cas to go? Make Cas hate him so it hurts both of them less to be apart?
Oh god...
*deep breath*
CAS: Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks and our time together.
*cries*
And Dean is just there thinking 'you fucker, you're not going to make this easy on me, are you?'
MAKE HIM MORE GUILTY, CAS!
Dean calling him 'buddy' - ;_;
Oh. Okay, I'm actually relieved that was a cliffhanger ending. The whole conversation would have KILLED.
I guess we'll just skip to the aftermath next week.
...angsty fic of Dean hating himself for this now pls fandom???
Verdict?
*breathes* Okay, so I guess this was sort of a gamechanging episode re: Cas and Dean/Cas. There was stuff in this episode that WILL split Cas and Dean/Cas fans. So I'm writing this aware that I'm picking a side here. Ergo if, as a consequence of the side I pick, anyone wants to stop following me-this would be the time. No hard feelings x I'll understand if my opinion of this one makes it clear in anyone's minds that our thoughts/feelings on certain things are incompatible.
Right, here's my opinion then-
Barring the odd minor quibble (some acting quality, some lines/dialogue being a bit too hammy/silly, Dean not knowing the film 'It's a Wonderful Life' because WTF??), I really enjoyed this episode.
Let me clarify that-I really enjoyed all parts of this episode.
Yes, that part included.
It was just the right blend of angst and hope. I thought the Dean/Cas subtext was BEAUTIFUL. I really like what's going on with the angels. The Zeke/Sam arc is growing more complex and I like the difficult and highly morally grey position it's putting Dean in. I'm LOVING Cas' personal journey/development, it's all progressing pretty much exactly as I'd hoped for (though I'd have preferred a little less heteronorativity). Did I mention the Dean/Cas subtext was wonderful? Did I mention how PSYCHED I am that Cas has his own storyarc, only FOR REAL this time, not just in the background and largely offscreen like all his arcs before now? Oh, and the Dean/Cas stuff was really great for me this episode... just sayin'
Thank you and goodnight.