The last three wishes… (Part I-cont)
Last week, you finally went back to visit your parent, although you got back to Chiba last winter but you just did not have the courage to face with your family. You were selfish, and scared, you knew
The day you came back to visit your family’s restaurant was a rainy day. You had tried your best to disguise yourself and hide behind Sho-chan’s back. You felt a funny feeling tickles at the back of your brain. “Doesn’t it looks like hide and seek game?” - he whispered to your ears while following the waiter to your served table you had booked on the phone. You didn’t want your family to see you like this, so useless and ill. Sho-chan said you thought that they were not ready, that was why you didn’t want to meet them. You knew he understood, understood that it was a lie, they were ready, always ready. It was you, who were not…
You love Chinese food. You had eaten and loved it since the time you realized what love was. You ordered a lot, even you and Sho-chan gave it the fullest stomach, and there were still leftovers. You ate every spoon of soup and chewed every bite dumplings carefully, remembering every flavor and taste… You might not be able to eat things like this, things that gave you the warmth you could just find in one place, home, ever again. You cherished it by all your heart…
People said that thinking while you were eating was not only slowing down the process but also brought you back to memories that should be forgotten, locked away in your deepest thought, until later, while your mind was weak against those feelings, it came back… You were eating slow enough and thinking hard enough for those things to come back and bathe you in its powerful and emotional stream…
*Flash back*
“Onii-chan, look! I make a fortune cookie! It’s my first!!” - your brother came and jump around excitedly around you.
“Really!!! Let me see, let me see! What is the message you left inside?”
“Ummn, it’s a secret! You’ll see after you eat it!” - he smile and shoved the “special” bento box, which you knew was full of fortune cookies, in front of you.
“Here’s your lunch, mom said that you must not skip your lunch just to practice some baseball! I think you should eat lunch today, it’s special!!”
“But I have to practice you know, there’s going to be the game day next week!” - you weakly protested.
“Any day but not today, today you have to eat it, I specially make it for you, promise?” - he pouted and gave out his pinky finger, knowing too well that you’d fall for that trap…
“O-okay…” - you gave in…
…………………………
*Lunch time*
“Aiba-chan! Do you come to the field today?” - captain said with his most energetic smile.
“Ah, no, I can’t, I’m sorry; I promise my bro to eat lunch today!” - you chirped hurriedly.
Anyway, that day was a very special day, the day that you would participate in the audition to join JE, you were not sure what that was at that moment but, it was always fun to try.
Then you open your lunch box, “Here goes” and it took you by surprised there was just a fortune cookie in it with lots of rice and fried egg, ham and tomatoes sauce. You crack that cookie, and staring at the paper that felt out…
You were really, really, really happy that day…
“Onii-chan, I hope you can archive your goal to day, I, mom and dad are waiting at home, try your best okie!”
You knew you were smiling, but you could also felt the moisten tears stringing down your cheeks. Memories, those were the most powerful spell to keep you close to everything that you dear…
You ate the mouthful of your family’s food until you could not help but choked it out. It had never tasted so good like this before, and Sho-chan’s embraces and rubs at your back had never been any warmer. Yeah, maybe for the time being, you were fine with your life.
You thought you had disguised yourself well enough, you wore glasses and woolen hat to cover your face and your bare head, complete with an over size shirt, you looked nothing like yourself but an ole shriveled man covered in lots of blanket. “May be people will think you are an old nag but to me you are always beautiful, even you don’t have hairs on your head or you lost your weight, your are mine, only mine little cute bald and skinny boyfriend, and nothing’s gonna change that fact!” - you knew you were lucky to have Sho-chan by your side.
By the time you finished eating, and your stomach reached its climax, you’d have to face one thing that you avoided, always avoided… and when Sho-chan reach out, calling the waiter to check the bill, you hurriedly wrapped your arms around his and began to tighten the grip. You didn’t want to do it at all, you were not ready!
He turned around with a benevolent smile on his lips, he hugged you tightly, let you greedily breathe in his familiar-safe scent. He had realized that you needed it, really, he was exactly the only person you needed the most, always he was. You stood there silently in the room waiting for the last sun beam to fade beneath the long green curtain, the light was getting out of the room, leaving behind a thin dim ray of light reflected from the lamp outside. It was so relaxed and healing, you felt like for a moment your burden had been lift off. And for a moment you could forget all the hurtful feeling that you had to bear, which all ware cause by your self and to your self. You felt just grateful enough.
And when there came a light chuckle at the door where some one was standing and waiting to give you two the bill, your dreamy world shattered, you came back to reality, hurtful reality…
At first, you didn’t pay any attention to that person, all the thing that you concerned then was the fact that you had to face your family soon, and that fact frightened you. Because, however you looked at it, that meeting there would be the last goodbye.
The waiter said with a tender voice, “Here is a little gift our restaurant gives you guys, have a nice evening! I’m gonna take off now, if you need anything please let us know, that would our pleasure to help.” You could almost sense his smile and words and glint of pleasantry pointed directly at you, you didn’t even have to turn around to see that, he was, your, only, younger brother…
Sho-chan knew it too; he could sense the tension arose in your mental stare at the wall. Gently, he walked to you and put you down on the futon. He knew you were shocked, you didn’t expect your brother to come, and you couldn’t do anything, you didn’t even turn around and said “Hi”. All you could manage to do was froze there and waiting for him to leave. Your fear was too great… you were a coward…
“Oh, let’s see what he has given us; I think this is a nice treat, really, look at this Ma-chan…”
You escaped from your thought and looked at Sho-chan, at the thing he was holding. That was a plate full of fortune cookies, those fortune cookies, his fortune cookies, your brother’s…
“Ma-chan, I think you should read this” - Sho-chan called you, voice full of concern. You turned your head around and your eyes met with his. They were as beautiful as always, but there was something more… something like… water?!?... Was he crying? Why?
You turned closer to him, almost sitting in his lap to cuddle him offering him your warmth, your want to comfort. But he pulled you out by both of his hands and shaking his head, left and right, he smiled and giving you what he was holding, a piece of paper which was taken out from the cookies. You looked at it, and, you froze…
“Onii-chan, no matter what happens, we’ll always love you, because we are a family, and family means love. Keep up your life okie! And I wish you the best wishes. Remember as mom and dad always say: being ill isn’t the end yet, keeping on fighting and live our live to the fullest in those day that remained. I’ll take care of the family work, you just have to stay focus and treat your illness okay? Hope you’ll be back soon, I know you’ll be back soon. And one more thing, you know, when you come back, we’ll be waiting for you…”
At that moment, you realized something precious, thing that you had forgotten for so long - no matter what happened, they’d always be your family, where you could rely on, where you would always be happy, where you always called it by the heartfelt name…
Home…
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TBC
A/N: sorry for the cutting, LJ limit is sucked!