WE FUCKING HATE MAIDSTONE
seeing as i only got up at 5.30pm, and i've done jack shite all day, i think it's time for the explanation as to why
It started off so well. Everyone was cheery on the (fucking expensive) train journey up there. we had minstrels, cookies, pitta bread and oniony humous AND a crossword. oh and booze... what more could we want?! all giggly and excitable at this point i was really glad i had come out. oh how that was going to change.
Emily meets us at the station we head off on a booze (and lasagne) raid to sainsbury's. all was good. then it pissed down - an omen of bad things to come?
got to emily's with puddles in my shoes. ewww. but wooo we were happy, we had alcohol and good company. (altho i did get a little bit worked up at being red by this point - something which i have still to come to terms with).
anyway at about 9pm we headed to some hobbit pub. almost got kicked out as apparentl we were being watched on cctv!?! doing what wrong i'm not sure. well someone broke a glass haha. but yeah after this pub the fun really began...
trapsed through maidstone, spirits high, all looking forward to hitting subs the club. Alex and Ashton smashed bottles along the way. arguably ASBO behaviour, but they weren't smashing them on anyone. just the pavement. ANYWAY....
some bouncer shit has a go at Ashton, and makes him put the rest of a bottle in the bin. fairplay. so we keep walking, and join the subs queue.
i feel like i am justified in discriminating against fat bald men now, cos the bouncer we encoutered was a complete toss pot.
Apparently the subs bouncers had been walkie-talkied by the other bouncers to not let us in! we were not happy! would you be if you paid fuck loads to trapse to fucking maidstone to go to this fucking discriminatory pile of shite club?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Manaal went mad, and i was proud of her. the rest of us were pretty much all to pussy to stand up for ourselves. the bouncers told lie after lie. next they said the cops had told them not to let us in. so us girls (fanny power!) went to the police van that was parked up the road... and sure enough the fat cunts were chatting shite - the police hadnt spoken to them at all. GRRRRRRR.
we go back and Manaal relays this to the dickwads. to which they just laughed and were all retardley power surgey. so Manaal called the manager. who also said that we could be let in. but at some point fat baldy bouncer cunt nabbed the phone. so talking to the manager was useless, no impossible, after that. fucking cunt.
eventually even manaal gave up. so we trapsed onto some other pub fuck knows where. had a couple of drinks. then wandered onto a late license pub.
danced a bit. all eager to make the most of our shoddy left overs of a night. oh yeah at this point emily and james went back to hers (as emily forgot her ID). they played some ok music although i'm sure alex disagrees :P.
manaal went out for fresh air and this place's fucking bouncers (seeing a pattern here yet?) didnt let her back in. for fuck's sake! so she spent her time comforting a random pukey guy (bless her).
when everyone finally realised manaal wasn't coming back in, we decided to head off back to one of laura's relatives.
but we had to go to Emily's first to pick up Laura's frozen food (and mine and Manaal's precious lasagnes :p). Emily wasn't impressed. oopsie. but in all fairness, we did think that we were meant to be crashing at her's. damian's nan you are a wanted woman is all i can say.
(there was subway eating and manaal's arabic discount on a burger somewhere between events).
so... anyway.. after several manaal falling overs and picking ups, we get to a taxi place, and get to Laura's mum's house.
i say her mum's house, but her mum wasn't in it.
but neither was any electricity.
or hot water.
or fucking heating.
i think it was by this point that if me, manaal, alex or martyn had any doubts as to how we felt about maidstone, they soon were replaced by an overwhelming sense of hate for the fucking shite hole.
so ashton and laura fuck off into the room with the double bed. and ashton lobs us a couple of towels, one blanket and a few pillows. overwhelming generosity.
i dont know if we slept or just shivvered all night. there was a sofa, which manaal tried so hard to keep me warm on, but i kept falling off of. and a single mattress. in the end, alex had the sofa, me and martyn squashed onto the mattress and manaal had the gap! and she managed to sleep with her bag and coat still on, on top of her lasagne and my wet shoes. poor girl!
we all awoke at silly o clock. and to be honest we just wanted to get the fuck out of there. so we called a taxi and did just that. and all that was left to show we were ever there was a halfeaten pack of crumbly soggy cookies, a mess of towels and pillows and a fake eyelash.
and we have beartatoe as a souvenir. i think if it wasnt for beartatoe, manaal wouldnt have been able to manage a smile on the way home.
waited quite a while for the train. but we didnt care, it was our carriage to the haven that is canterbury. we all have a new found love for this beautiful place.
safe to say regardless of how poor emily is, we're never going back to maidstone.
(it's a very long post, you have been warned)
xXx
It started off so well. Everyone was cheery on the (fucking expensive) train journey up there. we had minstrels, cookies, pitta bread and oniony humous AND a crossword. oh and booze... what more could we want?! all giggly and excitable at this point i was really glad i had come out. oh how that was going to change.
Emily meets us at the station we head off on a booze (and lasagne) raid to sainsbury's. all was good. then it pissed down - an omen of bad things to come?
got to emily's with puddles in my shoes. ewww. but wooo we were happy, we had alcohol and good company. (altho i did get a little bit worked up at being red by this point - something which i have still to come to terms with).
anyway at about 9pm we headed to some hobbit pub. almost got kicked out as apparentl we were being watched on cctv!?! doing what wrong i'm not sure. well someone broke a glass haha. but yeah after this pub the fun really began...
trapsed through maidstone, spirits high, all looking forward to hitting subs the club. Alex and Ashton smashed bottles along the way. arguably ASBO behaviour, but they weren't smashing them on anyone. just the pavement. ANYWAY....
some bouncer shit has a go at Ashton, and makes him put the rest of a bottle in the bin. fairplay. so we keep walking, and join the subs queue.
i feel like i am justified in discriminating against fat bald men now, cos the bouncer we encoutered was a complete toss pot.
Apparently the subs bouncers had been walkie-talkied by the other bouncers to not let us in! we were not happy! would you be if you paid fuck loads to trapse to fucking maidstone to go to this fucking discriminatory pile of shite club?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Manaal went mad, and i was proud of her. the rest of us were pretty much all to pussy to stand up for ourselves. the bouncers told lie after lie. next they said the cops had told them not to let us in. so us girls (fanny power!) went to the police van that was parked up the road... and sure enough the fat cunts were chatting shite - the police hadnt spoken to them at all. GRRRRRRR.
we go back and Manaal relays this to the dickwads. to which they just laughed and were all retardley power surgey. so Manaal called the manager. who also said that we could be let in. but at some point fat baldy bouncer cunt nabbed the phone. so talking to the manager was useless, no impossible, after that. fucking cunt.
eventually even manaal gave up. so we trapsed onto some other pub fuck knows where. had a couple of drinks. then wandered onto a late license pub.
danced a bit. all eager to make the most of our shoddy left overs of a night. oh yeah at this point emily and james went back to hers (as emily forgot her ID). they played some ok music although i'm sure alex disagrees :P.
manaal went out for fresh air and this place's fucking bouncers (seeing a pattern here yet?) didnt let her back in. for fuck's sake! so she spent her time comforting a random pukey guy (bless her).
when everyone finally realised manaal wasn't coming back in, we decided to head off back to one of laura's relatives.
but we had to go to Emily's first to pick up Laura's frozen food (and mine and Manaal's precious lasagnes :p). Emily wasn't impressed. oopsie. but in all fairness, we did think that we were meant to be crashing at her's. damian's nan you are a wanted woman is all i can say.
(there was subway eating and manaal's arabic discount on a burger somewhere between events).
so... anyway.. after several manaal falling overs and picking ups, we get to a taxi place, and get to Laura's mum's house.
i say her mum's house, but her mum wasn't in it.
but neither was any electricity.
or hot water.
or fucking heating.
i think it was by this point that if me, manaal, alex or martyn had any doubts as to how we felt about maidstone, they soon were replaced by an overwhelming sense of hate for the fucking shite hole.
so ashton and laura fuck off into the room with the double bed. and ashton lobs us a couple of towels, one blanket and a few pillows. overwhelming generosity.
i dont know if we slept or just shivvered all night. there was a sofa, which manaal tried so hard to keep me warm on, but i kept falling off of. and a single mattress. in the end, alex had the sofa, me and martyn squashed onto the mattress and manaal had the gap! and she managed to sleep with her bag and coat still on, on top of her lasagne and my wet shoes. poor girl!
we all awoke at silly o clock. and to be honest we just wanted to get the fuck out of there. so we called a taxi and did just that. and all that was left to show we were ever there was a halfeaten pack of crumbly soggy cookies, a mess of towels and pillows and a fake eyelash.
and we have beartatoe as a souvenir. i think if it wasnt for beartatoe, manaal wouldnt have been able to manage a smile on the way home.
waited quite a while for the train. but we didnt care, it was our carriage to the haven that is canterbury. we all have a new found love for this beautiful place.
safe to say regardless of how poor emily is, we're never going back to maidstone.
(it's a very long post, you have been warned)
xXx