Uncertainty [part 7]
Pairing: Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone
Disclaimer: Real people with real lives. I just have a vivid imagination...
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: I'm soooo sorry it's been so long, life has been a bit crazy. Things are settling, so here it goes. :)
“Us? What the…Ash what are you saying? You don’t want us to be together? Why!?”
He stopped when she shook her head, taking a shaky breath.
“We just…shouldn’t. Jackson I can’t even explain what I’m feeling right now…”
“So try.” His voice was harsher than he’d intended.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” She replied, crying in earnest now.
“Please…please just go. I need to be alone.”
He sighed in disbelief.
Alone? Without him? She was hurting, that much was clear. He didn’t want to pressure any sort of explanation from her when she was in this state, so wordlessly he stood, kissing her head gently as tears stung his own eyes.
“You know where to find me if you…change your mind…”
With that he left, disappearing into the night.
***
Ashley awoke the next morning, happily surprised that she didn’t feel too nauseous. As she stood up the conversation she’d had the previous night with Jackson made it’s way back to her mind, her own words squeezing so painfully around her heart that she wished all she felt was nauseous. Ignoring the physical ache she felt in her chest she got herself ready to head to set, trying to convince herself over and over that she’d done the right thing.
He didn’t want marriage. Not with me anyway. Why on earth would he want a baby?
Baby. Her stomach fluttered nervously at the thought. What on earth was she going to do with a baby? She would be fired for sure. She would look like a stupid, slutty, knocked-up actress whose promiscuous behaviour had been the death of her career.
She tried to console herself with the fact that the people she really cared about would know the truth. They’d know she was in love, and that she was faithful to Jackson. She wished Summit had let them admit they were a couple. Turning up pregnant now, without an apparent boyfriend was not going to look good.
There’s no way he won’t find out. Do I tell him? Apologize? Wouldn’t that just give him the incentive to turn and walk away on his own?
Ashley was quickly snapped from her thoughts by a loud knocking at the door. Clearing her throat she picked up Marlo and her purse.
“Coming”
“About time Chewy, I need coffee before they poke those awful lenses in my eyes!” Kellan’s friendly voice boomed through the door. Mustering up a smile, she opened it.
“Ok, I’m good to go. Morning…”
Kellan’s sleepy smile was replaced with a look of concern.
“You ok Ash? You look upset.”
Why does he have to know me so damn well?
“Course I am…not everyone is as chipper as you at 4.30 in the morning.”
“You sure? I saw Jackson last night. Looked like shit, he wouldn’t even talk to me.”
Ashley felt another painful squeeze of her heart as she heard his name spoken.
“Uh..I’m sure he was just tired.”
With a frown Kellan realised he’d hit a nerve, but decided not to press it.
“Probably just had a bad day. We’ll make this one better huh?”
He smiled and ruffled her hair as he scooped Marlo from her arms.
***
“What the fuck!?”
Ashley frowned as she felt a sharp pain in her arm.
“Ow! What!?” She turned to see Kristen, who quickly released Ashley’s arm from her surprisingly strong grasp.
“I just talked to Rob, who just talked to Kellan who just talked to Jackson. You broke up!?”
Ashley shushed Kristen as a few people turned to stare.
“Yes!” She cried in a hushed tone.
“Yes ok! He doesn’t want to get married, or make any long-term commitment. His lack of enthusiasm on the subject made that pretty clear! And a baby is a long-term commitment!” She explained in the same hushed voice.
Kristen shook her head.
“No way Ash. He’s not that kind of guy. He wouldn’t just up and leave…”
Ashley cut her off.
“I know that Kris, that’s why I didn’t tell him. If he doesn’t want commitment I can’t tell him I’m pregnant and then tell him it’s still ok for him to walk away, because we both know he wouldn’t! I will not trap him like that.”
Kristen sighed.
“I didn’t mean that. I just mean…” She shook her head as she trailed off.
“I think he deserves a chance to make his own decisions.”
“Yea…like I said I’m letting him.” Ashley resolved, imploring Kristen to understand.
“Well whatever you need you know I’m here right? For both of you.” She smiled, her hand gently tickling over Ashley’s stomach. Ashley nodded, hugging Kristen before she walked away.
She scooped Marlo up and nuzzled the little dog to her chest. As she turned towards her trailer she froze, inhaling sharply in surprise. Jackson stood, his hand running through his faux-blond hair and his expression unreadable.
“You’re pregnant..?”
Disclaimer: Real people with real lives. I just have a vivid imagination...
Rating: PG-13
Author's note: I'm soooo sorry it's been so long, life has been a bit crazy. Things are settling, so here it goes. :)
“Us? What the…Ash what are you saying? You don’t want us to be together? Why!?”
He stopped when she shook her head, taking a shaky breath.
“We just…shouldn’t. Jackson I can’t even explain what I’m feeling right now…”
“So try.” His voice was harsher than he’d intended.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” She replied, crying in earnest now.
“Please…please just go. I need to be alone.”
He sighed in disbelief.
Alone? Without him? She was hurting, that much was clear. He didn’t want to pressure any sort of explanation from her when she was in this state, so wordlessly he stood, kissing her head gently as tears stung his own eyes.
“You know where to find me if you…change your mind…”
With that he left, disappearing into the night.
***
Ashley awoke the next morning, happily surprised that she didn’t feel too nauseous. As she stood up the conversation she’d had the previous night with Jackson made it’s way back to her mind, her own words squeezing so painfully around her heart that she wished all she felt was nauseous. Ignoring the physical ache she felt in her chest she got herself ready to head to set, trying to convince herself over and over that she’d done the right thing.
He didn’t want marriage. Not with me anyway. Why on earth would he want a baby?
Baby. Her stomach fluttered nervously at the thought. What on earth was she going to do with a baby? She would be fired for sure. She would look like a stupid, slutty, knocked-up actress whose promiscuous behaviour had been the death of her career.
She tried to console herself with the fact that the people she really cared about would know the truth. They’d know she was in love, and that she was faithful to Jackson. She wished Summit had let them admit they were a couple. Turning up pregnant now, without an apparent boyfriend was not going to look good.
There’s no way he won’t find out. Do I tell him? Apologize? Wouldn’t that just give him the incentive to turn and walk away on his own?
Ashley was quickly snapped from her thoughts by a loud knocking at the door. Clearing her throat she picked up Marlo and her purse.
“Coming”
“About time Chewy, I need coffee before they poke those awful lenses in my eyes!” Kellan’s friendly voice boomed through the door. Mustering up a smile, she opened it.
“Ok, I’m good to go. Morning…”
Kellan’s sleepy smile was replaced with a look of concern.
“You ok Ash? You look upset.”
Why does he have to know me so damn well?
“Course I am…not everyone is as chipper as you at 4.30 in the morning.”
“You sure? I saw Jackson last night. Looked like shit, he wouldn’t even talk to me.”
Ashley felt another painful squeeze of her heart as she heard his name spoken.
“Uh..I’m sure he was just tired.”
With a frown Kellan realised he’d hit a nerve, but decided not to press it.
“Probably just had a bad day. We’ll make this one better huh?”
He smiled and ruffled her hair as he scooped Marlo from her arms.
***
“What the fuck!?”
Ashley frowned as she felt a sharp pain in her arm.
“Ow! What!?” She turned to see Kristen, who quickly released Ashley’s arm from her surprisingly strong grasp.
“I just talked to Rob, who just talked to Kellan who just talked to Jackson. You broke up!?”
Ashley shushed Kristen as a few people turned to stare.
“Yes!” She cried in a hushed tone.
“Yes ok! He doesn’t want to get married, or make any long-term commitment. His lack of enthusiasm on the subject made that pretty clear! And a baby is a long-term commitment!” She explained in the same hushed voice.
Kristen shook her head.
“No way Ash. He’s not that kind of guy. He wouldn’t just up and leave…”
Ashley cut her off.
“I know that Kris, that’s why I didn’t tell him. If he doesn’t want commitment I can’t tell him I’m pregnant and then tell him it’s still ok for him to walk away, because we both know he wouldn’t! I will not trap him like that.”
Kristen sighed.
“I didn’t mean that. I just mean…” She shook her head as she trailed off.
“I think he deserves a chance to make his own decisions.”
“Yea…like I said I’m letting him.” Ashley resolved, imploring Kristen to understand.
“Well whatever you need you know I’m here right? For both of you.” She smiled, her hand gently tickling over Ashley’s stomach. Ashley nodded, hugging Kristen before she walked away.
She scooped Marlo up and nuzzled the little dog to her chest. As she turned towards her trailer she froze, inhaling sharply in surprise. Jackson stood, his hand running through his faux-blond hair and his expression unreadable.
“You’re pregnant..?”