Uncertainty [end]
Pairing: Ashley and Jackson
Rating: r
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea.
sorry it's taken so long! It's a nice long update, which I think you'll enjoy! There will be a little epilogue to come shortly!
“Geeze….is she ok?” Kristen gasped as Nikki relayed the events of the previous night to her and Liz on set. Nikki shrugged, happy for Ashley that it turned out she had the day off to just relax after the stressful and more or less sleepless night.
“I don’t know. I mean they aired their differences, which was good I guess, but she confronted him about his entire lack of commitment. I don’t think he saw that coming at all.”
“Well good for her!” Liz exclaimed, as Nikki and Kristen both frowned in confusion.
“Oh come on guys, it’s not like I don’t love Jackson to death, but Ash deserves to know where she stands with him.”
Kristen sighed, lighting up a cigarette.
“Momma-bear has a point. I just hope they can get passed all this, and soon.”
Jackson sat on his balcony, a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. He wasn’t thirsty. He didn’t even want to get drunk. Nor did he want the cigarette. He only wanted her. It was selfish though, he knew he needed to give her time. Just because he didn’t need sleep didn’t mean she didn’t either. Flicking away what was left of his barely touched cigarette he sighed, standing up. It was almost noon. In all fairness Ashley had probably been awake for hours, but making the very short trip to the next bedroom seemed like the hardest thing Jackson had ever done. Setting his beer on the bedside table, he opened its drawer and reached to the back. A small, black velvet box sat nestled there. He picked it up, gently brushing his thumb over the material of the box. He didn’t dare to open it. Inside was everything he hoped for with the girl he loved, but as he looked to the wall that separated their rooms he wondered if he’d let it all go for good.
A gentle, hesitant knocking at the door pulled Ashley from her restless sleep. As she looked to the clock she realised it was just after noon. Someone was probably coming to check up on her. She yawned, tying her hair back in a lazy bun before throwing on Kellan’s huge hoodie and zipping it up.
“Coming.”
A small gasp escaped her mouth when, after opening the door, she was face to face with Jackson.
“Uh hey…I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Uh…no, it’s fine…” Ashley lied. He looked pretty beaten up, and despite her best instincts she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was all going to be ok. But how could it? They both wanted such different things.
“Can I come in?” Jackson asked softly, breaking Ashley’s train of thought. She merely nodded, stepping aside and letting him in. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Not yet.
Her eyes followed Jackson as he paced once around the room, before sighing, and sitting himself onto the bed.
“How did we get here?” He asked, his voice unsure.
Ashley looked to him, shutting the door and making her way over to the bed, slowly sinking down beside him.
“I don’t know….I guess we both fucked up, huh?”
Jackson nodded, taking a stray strand of Ashley’s hair and gently tucking it behind her ear.
“We did. I did. I never meant to hurt you. I just…I didn’t know how to….” He stopped himself. It was all coming out wrong.
“How to what? Jackson what are you saying?” Her eyes met his, imploring him to keep talking.
He shook his head, gently taking her small hand in his.
“I should have been honest. Every time anyone brought up the idea of marriage I just clammed up. You were right.”
Ashley sat, frozen. She was right. She’d not been imagining things. But now that he was about to give her an explanation for his skirting around the subject she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it. Maybe being left in the dark was easier. Maybe it would hurt less. Jackson would never completely abandon her, despite not wanting to marry her he was a gentleman, and he’d always be there for the baby. Tears pricked Ashley’s eyes as she realised that wouldn’t be enough for her. She couldn’t face him actually telling her.
She carefully pulled her hand from his as she stood.
“Jackson…I get it, I get that you don’t want to marry me, but I know you’ll be there for the baby, and that’s all I ask…” She lied, traitorous tears slipping down her cheeks. She hastily wiped them on her oversized sweater and sniffed, looking down. She frowned softly as she felt Jackson’s strong arms envelop her.
“Ashley, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Honey, I never said anything because I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…to have kids with you, to marry you. You are everything that makes sense to me and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I’m so sorry I gave you the wrong impression, but baby, there is nothing I want more than you, and there never will be.” Kissing her forehead he stepped back slightly, reaching into his pocket and retrieving the ring box.
“This isn’t exactly how I’d planned this…but I had planned it, for a long time. That’s why I need to do this now. To show you that I’m serious about this, and I have been for a while. I picked this out back home…and I’d have asked you long ago if I hadn’t been such a coward. I guess…even with the constant teasing from everyone, and your questions…part of me still thought you’d say no. But you have every right to. I just need you to know that you are my everything, and if you’d still consider it….I’d love to make you my wife. Ashley…baby….marry me?”
She stood, unmoving for long enough to allow Jackson to worry.
“Ash?”
“You…you want this?” She asked, her lips curling into a smile.
“Darlin’, more than anything.”
She smiled in disbelief, wiping the tears that continued to streak down her cheeks.
“Me too. This…you, us, it’s all I want too.” She smiled, looking into his eyes.
“Yes. I’ll marry you Jackson. I’d love to.”
Jackson laughed, scooping her carefully and hugging her, his heart nearly bursting when he heard her delighted squeal.
He was home.
Rating: r
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea.
sorry it's taken so long! It's a nice long update, which I think you'll enjoy! There will be a little epilogue to come shortly!
“Geeze….is she ok?” Kristen gasped as Nikki relayed the events of the previous night to her and Liz on set. Nikki shrugged, happy for Ashley that it turned out she had the day off to just relax after the stressful and more or less sleepless night.
“I don’t know. I mean they aired their differences, which was good I guess, but she confronted him about his entire lack of commitment. I don’t think he saw that coming at all.”
“Well good for her!” Liz exclaimed, as Nikki and Kristen both frowned in confusion.
“Oh come on guys, it’s not like I don’t love Jackson to death, but Ash deserves to know where she stands with him.”
Kristen sighed, lighting up a cigarette.
“Momma-bear has a point. I just hope they can get passed all this, and soon.”
Jackson sat on his balcony, a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. He wasn’t thirsty. He didn’t even want to get drunk. Nor did he want the cigarette. He only wanted her. It was selfish though, he knew he needed to give her time. Just because he didn’t need sleep didn’t mean she didn’t either. Flicking away what was left of his barely touched cigarette he sighed, standing up. It was almost noon. In all fairness Ashley had probably been awake for hours, but making the very short trip to the next bedroom seemed like the hardest thing Jackson had ever done. Setting his beer on the bedside table, he opened its drawer and reached to the back. A small, black velvet box sat nestled there. He picked it up, gently brushing his thumb over the material of the box. He didn’t dare to open it. Inside was everything he hoped for with the girl he loved, but as he looked to the wall that separated their rooms he wondered if he’d let it all go for good.
A gentle, hesitant knocking at the door pulled Ashley from her restless sleep. As she looked to the clock she realised it was just after noon. Someone was probably coming to check up on her. She yawned, tying her hair back in a lazy bun before throwing on Kellan’s huge hoodie and zipping it up.
“Coming.”
A small gasp escaped her mouth when, after opening the door, she was face to face with Jackson.
“Uh hey…I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“Uh…no, it’s fine…” Ashley lied. He looked pretty beaten up, and despite her best instincts she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and tell him it was all going to be ok. But how could it? They both wanted such different things.
“Can I come in?” Jackson asked softly, breaking Ashley’s train of thought. She merely nodded, stepping aside and letting him in. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Not yet.
Her eyes followed Jackson as he paced once around the room, before sighing, and sitting himself onto the bed.
“How did we get here?” He asked, his voice unsure.
Ashley looked to him, shutting the door and making her way over to the bed, slowly sinking down beside him.
“I don’t know….I guess we both fucked up, huh?”
Jackson nodded, taking a stray strand of Ashley’s hair and gently tucking it behind her ear.
“We did. I did. I never meant to hurt you. I just…I didn’t know how to….” He stopped himself. It was all coming out wrong.
“How to what? Jackson what are you saying?” Her eyes met his, imploring him to keep talking.
He shook his head, gently taking her small hand in his.
“I should have been honest. Every time anyone brought up the idea of marriage I just clammed up. You were right.”
Ashley sat, frozen. She was right. She’d not been imagining things. But now that he was about to give her an explanation for his skirting around the subject she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it. Maybe being left in the dark was easier. Maybe it would hurt less. Jackson would never completely abandon her, despite not wanting to marry her he was a gentleman, and he’d always be there for the baby. Tears pricked Ashley’s eyes as she realised that wouldn’t be enough for her. She couldn’t face him actually telling her.
She carefully pulled her hand from his as she stood.
“Jackson…I get it, I get that you don’t want to marry me, but I know you’ll be there for the baby, and that’s all I ask…” She lied, traitorous tears slipping down her cheeks. She hastily wiped them on her oversized sweater and sniffed, looking down. She frowned softly as she felt Jackson’s strong arms envelop her.
“Ashley, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Honey, I never said anything because I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…to have kids with you, to marry you. You are everything that makes sense to me and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I’m so sorry I gave you the wrong impression, but baby, there is nothing I want more than you, and there never will be.” Kissing her forehead he stepped back slightly, reaching into his pocket and retrieving the ring box.
“This isn’t exactly how I’d planned this…but I had planned it, for a long time. That’s why I need to do this now. To show you that I’m serious about this, and I have been for a while. I picked this out back home…and I’d have asked you long ago if I hadn’t been such a coward. I guess…even with the constant teasing from everyone, and your questions…part of me still thought you’d say no. But you have every right to. I just need you to know that you are my everything, and if you’d still consider it….I’d love to make you my wife. Ashley…baby….marry me?”
She stood, unmoving for long enough to allow Jackson to worry.
“Ash?”
“You…you want this?” She asked, her lips curling into a smile.
“Darlin’, more than anything.”
She smiled in disbelief, wiping the tears that continued to streak down her cheeks.
“Me too. This…you, us, it’s all I want too.” She smiled, looking into his eyes.
“Yes. I’ll marry you Jackson. I’d love to.”
Jackson laughed, scooping her carefully and hugging her, his heart nearly bursting when he heard her delighted squeal.
He was home.