Short fic: Love With A Motive (1/1), Bill/Tom, PG13
♥Fluff Friday♥
Title: Love With A Motive
Author: littlemrstom
Pairing: Bill/Tom
Rating: PG13
Warning: Fluff overload, Twincest
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction; I own nothing but the plot.
Summary: Bill always makes sure to let Tom know that he loves him.
Author Notes: Written for fyredancer's Fluff Friday! It's the first time I've managed to participate, too, which excites me. I hope this is fluffy enough .__.
age 4
Two little boys are sat cross-legged on the floor of their nursery. They’re dressed in matching dungarees and t-shirts with their names on in bright colours, and there’s a stack of even more brightly coloured Lego spread out around them, looking like a toy factory just exploded.
The little boy, whose t-shirt reads ‘Bill’, has his tongue poking out between his lips, his forehead furrowed in utmost concentration. His fingers dig through the pile of Lego in front of him. It’s not there. Bill digs a bit deeper. It’s still not there. It’s nowhere to be found. His tongue disappears back between his lips and his bottom one begins to wobble.
“Where is it?” he grumbles, picking up single pieces of Lego and tossing them over his shoulder. They hit and bounce off various things, landing in a heap on the floor. He bites his lip, hard, nearly breaking the skin and wincing.
One of the pieces of Lego hits the other little boy, whose t-shirt reads ‘Tom’, on the shoulder. “Ow!” he exclaims and looks around to try find the culprit.
Bill looks around, briefly. “Sorry,” he mutters, and continues on his search.
“What are you doing, Bill?” Tom asks, sitting up on his knees and placing his hands over his brother’s. They’re twins, you see.
“I can’t find it.”
“Find what?” Tom makes a face and grabs Bill’s hands, holding them tightly between his small fingers.
“The knight. I’ve lost the knight. I need the knight for my castle, Tomi, look!” Bill nods at the wonky creation sitting by his feet. It doesn’t look much like a castle as opposed to random pieces of Lego stacked together, but Tom thinks it’s perfect.
Tom turns and looks to his own castle. The knight sits on the roof. Without even blinking, Tom reaches out and pulls it off, handing it straight to Bill. “Is this it?” he asks, his eyes wide and gazing at his twin.
“Tomi, but it’s yours… “
“No, take it. You need the knight for your castle.”
“But don’t you? Are you sure?” Tom nods sincerely and Bill answers him with a brilliant smile, setting the knight on his top most tower. “Thank you, Tomi, I love you.”
age 7
Bill is nervous. He swears his heart is about to explode inside of him. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and watches as she sits down on the bench with her book. It’s the perfect moment.
His feet begin to move towards her. His palms are sweaty and his mouth is dry. Suddenly he’s reached the bench and she’s looking up at him from behind her glasses.
“Hi, Bill,” she greets, giving him a small wave and a shy smile. “Do you wanna sit down?”
“H-hi,” he mumbles, sitting down beside her. “Hi, Ella. I-I came to ask you something.”
Ella smiles, her blonde hair flopping over her face as the wind blows. She giggles and pushes it away. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Her smile gives Bill a boost of confidence. “I was wondering if, maybe, you’d like to, um, come to my house sometime?” He dares to look up at her through his slightly unruly hair.
Her smile fades and she looks a bit horrified. “Um. I don’t think so,” she says bluntly. She closes her book and stores it under her arm, standing and smoothing her skirt down. “Sorry, bye, Bill.”
Bill feels like he’s been kicked in the stomach. And the head. And maybe in his heart, too. He crosses his arms and pulls his legs up, closing his eyes. Only a moment later, there’s another voice behind him, which he instantly recognizes.
“Bill?” Tom’s voice is careful as he sits beside his brother. Bill shakes his head and Tom pulls him to his body. “She said no?”
“Mmhmm,” Bill sniffles, burying his face in Tom’s chest. “I don’t care, she was stupid anyway.”
“Yeah, she’s stupid,” Tom concurs. “Really, really stupid.”
“She’s not really stupid,” Bill mumbles, blinking a single tear out of his eye. It soaks into Tom’s t-shirt, which no longer says his name on it.
“She is,” Tom says firmly. “She said no to you, of course she’s stupid. You’re the best person I know.”
Unable to hide his smile, Bill pulls away from his twin a bit. “I am?” Tom nods earnestly. “Thank you, Tomi, I love you.”
age 10
“Okay, Bill, now it’s time to wash up,” Simone calls across the kitchen. She peels her apron off over her head and hangs it on the door. “Hey, Mister, don’t give me that face. You make the mess, you clean it up.”
Bill grumbles under his breath and rolls up his sleeves, peering into the oven. His cookies are already beginning to spread out and bake.
“Tom, where do you think you’re going?” Simone continues, giving her other son a bemused look. “Get back in here. You’re drying.”
“Aw, mum!” Tom sighs and re-enters the kitchen from where he is stealthily trying to sneak away. “Pft, fine.”
Ten minutes, a lot of splashing, and a soaked Bill later, the clearing up is finished. Simone walks into the room and immediately spots Bill, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto his clothes. She cracks a smile.
“What on earth happened in here?” she asks, chuckling. “And why is Bill wet?” She looks to Tom, raising an eyebrow.
“Tomi splashed me,” Bill grunts, pulling a face at his brother who is hiding his grin behind his dish cloth.
“Tom,” Simone scolds teasingly, giving her son a playful pat on the head. “Bill, why don’t you go get dried up?”
“But… the cookies?”
“You’ll have to be quick then, won’t you?”
Bill dashes up the stairs without another word. Simone goes over to the oven and peers through the glass. “Looks like they’re done, Tom, do you wanna check them with a tooth pick?”
Tom bounds over and plucks a tooth pick from the jar. Carefully, when Simone has opened the oven door, Tom pokes it into one of his batch.
“Is it clean?” Simone asks her son, who nods eagerly. “Okay, mind out. I’ll put them on the side to cool.”
Simone is just finishing placing Tom’s cookies on a cooling rack when Bill comes trampling down the stairs. “Ooh, cookies! What about mine, what about mine?” he calls excitedly, and runs over to the oven. He goes quiet. “Mum, why are some of mine… black? Mum?”
“What?” Simone crosses the room. “Oh, crap,” she mutters, reaching in and pulling the second tray out from the top shelf. “Oh, Billy, I’m sorry,” she says. “They’re a little burnt.”
Within seconds, Bill is running straight back from where he came, Tom hot on his heels. “Bill!” he shouts after his brother. “Bill, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to splash you!” Tom finds Bill sat on the edge of his bed and crawls up beside him. “I feel really bad now.”
Bill shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. “It doesn’t matter. They were only cookies.” He frowns, and Tom nudges his arm.
“You can share mine, if you like,” Tom offers with a smile.
“Can I?” Tom looks at him pointedly. “Thank you, Tomi,” Bill says quietly, wrapping his brother up in a hug. “I love you.”
age 13
“Do I look okay?”
Bill looks at Tom with huge eyes, his lips twisted to one side with doubt. He stands in front of Tom, who is sat on the sofa, waiting to leave.
Tom tilts his head to the side and looks Bill up and down. “No, you look horrible.”
Bill narrows his eyes at his brother and kicks him in the shin. “Tom! I’m being serious. Do I look okay?” he asks again.
Tom stands up and puts his hands on Bill’s shoulders, looking down at him from his extra two inches of height. “Bill, you look fine. I was only joking. Can we go now? We’re gonna be late if we don’t.”
Huffing, Bill snatches his bag from the floor and marches out the door, and Tom follows obediently behind. As they walk the short distance to their school, Bill keeps his head down, his eyes trained on the floor. When they approach the end of the road, Bill can feel them staring without even seeing their faces. He lowers his head a little more.
“Tom, they’re staring at me,” he says quietly, watching his shoes appear and disappear in his line of vision as he walks. “Tom…”
“Just ignore them, Bill, they’re just jealous,” is Tom’s immediate response, but he can feel Bill tense beside him.
“Tomi…”
“Hey, Bill, what’s on your head?” comes a loud voice from somewhere in front of Bill. “It looks like something shit on it!”
“Oh, God.” Bill slows his walk. “Oh, God, Tom, can we leave?”
“Bill-”
“Bill! Answer me, gay boy!” comes the voice again.
Tom clenches his fists. “Hey!” he yells at the boy, stood grinning and yelling at Bill. “Hey, shut the fuck up!” His fists uncurl and he grabs hold of Bill’s coat sleeve, dragging him back where they came from. Bill stumbles as he’s pulled, but quickly regains his footing and soon they’re slamming back inside their house.
Bill falls onto Tom in a fit of tears. “Tom, I should never have done it, why did you let me do it? They hate me!”
Anger seeping through his veins, Tom clutches his twin to him, petting his freshly-dyed black hair with soft but shaking fingers. “Bill, Bill,” he chants, holding Bill tightly. “Bill, they’re idiots, okay? Don’t listen to a word they say.”
Bill nods limply, though Tom can tell he doesn’t believe him. “They’re just stupid. You’re not anything they say you are, and your hair looks good. Really, good, Bill, you hear?” Bill nods again, a bit more forcefully this time, and clings closer to Tom.
“I know,” he whispers, “I know, but-”
“No buts, Bill,” Tom interjects, his voice strong. “You’re great and they’re not.” He lets out a deep breath, laughing softly. “You’re my twin,” he says, “you’ve got to be great.”
Bill can’t help but breathe out a giggle and clutch at Tom even tighter still. “Thanks, Tomi,” he says, sniffling. “I love you.”
age 16
Their faces are breaths apart as they lay on Tom’s bunk in the tour bus. Bill is homesick, clinging to his brother for some form of support, and Tom is stroking his face with gentle hands. They do this sometimes, but lately it’s been happening more and more, and Tom thinks he knows why.
“I’m glad you’re here, Tomi,” Bill says, his eyes locked with his twin’s, “I couldn’t do this if you weren’t. Really.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Bill,” Tom answers, smiling down at his brother. Bill’s eyes sparkle as he smiles through his sadness. Something in his stomach bubbles as Tom returns it.
The air between them is thick and heavy with something neither of them can place. As Tom strokes a thumb down the curve of Bill’s nose, it even sizzles.
“Tom…?” Bill asks, his voice almost non-existent as Tom leans even closer, their noses bumping. Bill can feel Tom’s warm breath against his cheek and he shudders. “Tom…”
When their lips finally touch, Bill gasps. Tom presses them together a little firmer and Bill complies for a moment, before he gasps again and pulls away, scrambling to the other side of Tom’s bunk.
“Tom…” he says for a third time. “Tom, what was that? I-I… Oh, God.”
Tom’s face doesn’t change from the look of adoration that had been there before. Slowly, he shuffles up to where Bill is now sat, rubbing at his forearms. “Bill, it’s okay,” he says quietly, watching his brother’s reactions attentively. “You wanted that, didn’t you?”
He almost misses the tiny nod that Bill makes. Tom breathes a sigh of relief, just in case he’d gotten it wrong, and closes the space between him and his twin slowly. “It’s okay,” he repeats, placing his hands gently on Bill’s waist. His nose presses against Bill again. “You’re my entire world, Bill,” he whispers, the words for Bill’s ears only. “I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s always you.”
Bill trembles in his hold, his eyes closing, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. He smiles against Tom’s skin. “Are you sure we can?”
Tom doesn’t answer him. “Do you want to?” he asks instead, bringing his hand up and cupping Bill’s face. Bill breathes in sharply and his eyes flash open. “Do you want to, Bill?”
“I… I…” Bill nods his head and then Tom’s lips are touching his again. It’s soft and gentle and Bill can feel his heart rising into his throat. It pounds in his ears and Tom pulls him closer by the waist. “Thank you,” he tells him honestly, pulling away for only a fraction of a second. “I love you,” and then Tom kisses him again.
age 17
Whenever Bill is stressed, he paces. That’s why he’s pacing now, carving a line from the sofa to the door and back again into the floor from his trainers. He has a strand of hair curled around two fingers and is chewing on his lip.
“What if they hate it?” he asks. “What if they think it doesn’t live up to the first album? Tom, what if-”
Tom quietens him with a finger to his lips. “Bill,” he says sternly, pressing his body up behind his brother’s and placing his other hand on Bill’s hip. “Bill, enough with the ‘what ifs’. Calm down or you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Take a nice deep breath…” Bill does as he’s told. “…and then let it go.”
Bill exhales loudly and leans his head back onto Tom’s shoulder.
“Feel better?” Tom asks, pressing his nose just behind Bill’s ear and dotting kisses down the side of his neck.
Bill squirms under Tom’s affections and nods. “Yeah, but what if-”
Tom laughs against Bill’s neck and pulls them back so that they land in a pile on the sofa. Anybody could walk in and see them, but for the moment, Tom doesn’t care. “Bill,” he groans, his thumbs stroking over his twin’s hipbones, caressing the hidden tattoo of a star. It’s still a little sore and Bill hisses, gently removing Tom’s hand and linking their fingers together instead. “I thought you liked the album?”
Bill wrinkles his nose cutely. “I do! I’m just scared nobody else will,” he answers timidly.
“Well, I do. And we’ve already played it to everyone and their mother,” Tom says humourously, “and they all liked it. People have even said it’s better than the last one.”
“I know,” Bill sighs, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Tom. He glances at the closed door behind them without moving, making sure that no one can see them, and then tips his head forward so he can kiss Tom’s lips. It’s soft and gentle and extremely reassuring to Bill, only lasting a moment before Bill pulls away and tucks himself under his brother’s arm. It’s warm and cosy, the one place where Bill feels the safest. “Thank you, Tomi,” he whispers, sneaking one more kiss. “I love you.”
age 20
Tom groans as he feels himself swell; his groin tingles and his thighs burn. Bill whimpers beneath him and attacks him with another round of forceful kisses as he lets himself go.
The heat that surrounds them as Tom pulls out is indescribable and it only increases as Bill wraps himself around his twin’s body, kissing his face and neck, and any other part of skin he can find. Tom encircles his arms back around Bill’s waist, letting himself be showered with love as his eyes close and he deflates, spent, against the mattress.
“Tomi,” Bill sighs against his sweaty skin. His fingers trail across his still quivering stomach; they follow the lines that outline his hard muscles and dip across his hipbones, tickling; they trail upwards and over his chest, following the pattern of his ribcage and then they find his neck, walking over his veins and finally reach his face. “Tomi, don’t fall asleep.”
Tom opens his eyes, totally unaware that they’d even shut, and he looks up at his brother. Bill is practically glowing above him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkling. He looks beautiful.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” Tom says quietly, not wanting to break the peace that has fallen over them, save for the sounds of their leisurely breathing. “Just thinking, is all.”
“About what?” Bill presses, shuffling down the bed and resting his head against Tom’s gently rising and falling chest. “Tell me.”
“About stuff, about us.”
“What about us?” Bill lays a palm flat against Tom’s belly and listens to his heartbeat, one of his favourite activities to do. They don’t often get quiet moments like this; they have to grasp them when they’re offered. So that’s what they do.
Tom blushes. “Nothing,” he tries to brush it off, but Bill won’t drop it.
“No, tell me, Tomi.” He tickles his long nails around Tom’s belly button, and Tom squirms, giving in immediately.
“Okay, okay,” he relents, laughing. “Just stop that!” Bill does as he’s told and cuddles Tom again. “I was just… thinking about how much you mean to me. How happy you make me all the time. Always have done, always will.”
Bill smiles radiantly up at him and kisses his skin lovingly.
“Thank you, Bill,” Tom says, feeling something tug at his heartstrings. He’s pretty sure he knows what. “I love you.”
Title: Love With A Motive
Author: littlemrstom
Pairing: Bill/Tom
Rating: PG13
Warning: Fluff overload, Twincest
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction; I own nothing but the plot.
Summary: Bill always makes sure to let Tom know that he loves him.
Author Notes: Written for fyredancer's Fluff Friday! It's the first time I've managed to participate, too, which excites me. I hope this is fluffy enough .__.
age 4
Two little boys are sat cross-legged on the floor of their nursery. They’re dressed in matching dungarees and t-shirts with their names on in bright colours, and there’s a stack of even more brightly coloured Lego spread out around them, looking like a toy factory just exploded.
The little boy, whose t-shirt reads ‘Bill’, has his tongue poking out between his lips, his forehead furrowed in utmost concentration. His fingers dig through the pile of Lego in front of him. It’s not there. Bill digs a bit deeper. It’s still not there. It’s nowhere to be found. His tongue disappears back between his lips and his bottom one begins to wobble.
“Where is it?” he grumbles, picking up single pieces of Lego and tossing them over his shoulder. They hit and bounce off various things, landing in a heap on the floor. He bites his lip, hard, nearly breaking the skin and wincing.
One of the pieces of Lego hits the other little boy, whose t-shirt reads ‘Tom’, on the shoulder. “Ow!” he exclaims and looks around to try find the culprit.
Bill looks around, briefly. “Sorry,” he mutters, and continues on his search.
“What are you doing, Bill?” Tom asks, sitting up on his knees and placing his hands over his brother’s. They’re twins, you see.
“I can’t find it.”
“Find what?” Tom makes a face and grabs Bill’s hands, holding them tightly between his small fingers.
“The knight. I’ve lost the knight. I need the knight for my castle, Tomi, look!” Bill nods at the wonky creation sitting by his feet. It doesn’t look much like a castle as opposed to random pieces of Lego stacked together, but Tom thinks it’s perfect.
Tom turns and looks to his own castle. The knight sits on the roof. Without even blinking, Tom reaches out and pulls it off, handing it straight to Bill. “Is this it?” he asks, his eyes wide and gazing at his twin.
“Tomi, but it’s yours… “
“No, take it. You need the knight for your castle.”
“But don’t you? Are you sure?” Tom nods sincerely and Bill answers him with a brilliant smile, setting the knight on his top most tower. “Thank you, Tomi, I love you.”
age 7
Bill is nervous. He swears his heart is about to explode inside of him. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and watches as she sits down on the bench with her book. It’s the perfect moment.
His feet begin to move towards her. His palms are sweaty and his mouth is dry. Suddenly he’s reached the bench and she’s looking up at him from behind her glasses.
“Hi, Bill,” she greets, giving him a small wave and a shy smile. “Do you wanna sit down?”
“H-hi,” he mumbles, sitting down beside her. “Hi, Ella. I-I came to ask you something.”
Ella smiles, her blonde hair flopping over her face as the wind blows. She giggles and pushes it away. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Her smile gives Bill a boost of confidence. “I was wondering if, maybe, you’d like to, um, come to my house sometime?” He dares to look up at her through his slightly unruly hair.
Her smile fades and she looks a bit horrified. “Um. I don’t think so,” she says bluntly. She closes her book and stores it under her arm, standing and smoothing her skirt down. “Sorry, bye, Bill.”
Bill feels like he’s been kicked in the stomach. And the head. And maybe in his heart, too. He crosses his arms and pulls his legs up, closing his eyes. Only a moment later, there’s another voice behind him, which he instantly recognizes.
“Bill?” Tom’s voice is careful as he sits beside his brother. Bill shakes his head and Tom pulls him to his body. “She said no?”
“Mmhmm,” Bill sniffles, burying his face in Tom’s chest. “I don’t care, she was stupid anyway.”
“Yeah, she’s stupid,” Tom concurs. “Really, really stupid.”
“She’s not really stupid,” Bill mumbles, blinking a single tear out of his eye. It soaks into Tom’s t-shirt, which no longer says his name on it.
“She is,” Tom says firmly. “She said no to you, of course she’s stupid. You’re the best person I know.”
Unable to hide his smile, Bill pulls away from his twin a bit. “I am?” Tom nods earnestly. “Thank you, Tomi, I love you.”
age 10
“Okay, Bill, now it’s time to wash up,” Simone calls across the kitchen. She peels her apron off over her head and hangs it on the door. “Hey, Mister, don’t give me that face. You make the mess, you clean it up.”
Bill grumbles under his breath and rolls up his sleeves, peering into the oven. His cookies are already beginning to spread out and bake.
“Tom, where do you think you’re going?” Simone continues, giving her other son a bemused look. “Get back in here. You’re drying.”
“Aw, mum!” Tom sighs and re-enters the kitchen from where he is stealthily trying to sneak away. “Pft, fine.”
Ten minutes, a lot of splashing, and a soaked Bill later, the clearing up is finished. Simone walks into the room and immediately spots Bill, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto his clothes. She cracks a smile.
“What on earth happened in here?” she asks, chuckling. “And why is Bill wet?” She looks to Tom, raising an eyebrow.
“Tomi splashed me,” Bill grunts, pulling a face at his brother who is hiding his grin behind his dish cloth.
“Tom,” Simone scolds teasingly, giving her son a playful pat on the head. “Bill, why don’t you go get dried up?”
“But… the cookies?”
“You’ll have to be quick then, won’t you?”
Bill dashes up the stairs without another word. Simone goes over to the oven and peers through the glass. “Looks like they’re done, Tom, do you wanna check them with a tooth pick?”
Tom bounds over and plucks a tooth pick from the jar. Carefully, when Simone has opened the oven door, Tom pokes it into one of his batch.
“Is it clean?” Simone asks her son, who nods eagerly. “Okay, mind out. I’ll put them on the side to cool.”
Simone is just finishing placing Tom’s cookies on a cooling rack when Bill comes trampling down the stairs. “Ooh, cookies! What about mine, what about mine?” he calls excitedly, and runs over to the oven. He goes quiet. “Mum, why are some of mine… black? Mum?”
“What?” Simone crosses the room. “Oh, crap,” she mutters, reaching in and pulling the second tray out from the top shelf. “Oh, Billy, I’m sorry,” she says. “They’re a little burnt.”
Within seconds, Bill is running straight back from where he came, Tom hot on his heels. “Bill!” he shouts after his brother. “Bill, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to splash you!” Tom finds Bill sat on the edge of his bed and crawls up beside him. “I feel really bad now.”
Bill shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. “It doesn’t matter. They were only cookies.” He frowns, and Tom nudges his arm.
“You can share mine, if you like,” Tom offers with a smile.
“Can I?” Tom looks at him pointedly. “Thank you, Tomi,” Bill says quietly, wrapping his brother up in a hug. “I love you.”
age 13
“Do I look okay?”
Bill looks at Tom with huge eyes, his lips twisted to one side with doubt. He stands in front of Tom, who is sat on the sofa, waiting to leave.
Tom tilts his head to the side and looks Bill up and down. “No, you look horrible.”
Bill narrows his eyes at his brother and kicks him in the shin. “Tom! I’m being serious. Do I look okay?” he asks again.
Tom stands up and puts his hands on Bill’s shoulders, looking down at him from his extra two inches of height. “Bill, you look fine. I was only joking. Can we go now? We’re gonna be late if we don’t.”
Huffing, Bill snatches his bag from the floor and marches out the door, and Tom follows obediently behind. As they walk the short distance to their school, Bill keeps his head down, his eyes trained on the floor. When they approach the end of the road, Bill can feel them staring without even seeing their faces. He lowers his head a little more.
“Tom, they’re staring at me,” he says quietly, watching his shoes appear and disappear in his line of vision as he walks. “Tom…”
“Just ignore them, Bill, they’re just jealous,” is Tom’s immediate response, but he can feel Bill tense beside him.
“Tomi…”
“Hey, Bill, what’s on your head?” comes a loud voice from somewhere in front of Bill. “It looks like something shit on it!”
“Oh, God.” Bill slows his walk. “Oh, God, Tom, can we leave?”
“Bill-”
“Bill! Answer me, gay boy!” comes the voice again.
Tom clenches his fists. “Hey!” he yells at the boy, stood grinning and yelling at Bill. “Hey, shut the fuck up!” His fists uncurl and he grabs hold of Bill’s coat sleeve, dragging him back where they came from. Bill stumbles as he’s pulled, but quickly regains his footing and soon they’re slamming back inside their house.
Bill falls onto Tom in a fit of tears. “Tom, I should never have done it, why did you let me do it? They hate me!”
Anger seeping through his veins, Tom clutches his twin to him, petting his freshly-dyed black hair with soft but shaking fingers. “Bill, Bill,” he chants, holding Bill tightly. “Bill, they’re idiots, okay? Don’t listen to a word they say.”
Bill nods limply, though Tom can tell he doesn’t believe him. “They’re just stupid. You’re not anything they say you are, and your hair looks good. Really, good, Bill, you hear?” Bill nods again, a bit more forcefully this time, and clings closer to Tom.
“I know,” he whispers, “I know, but-”
“No buts, Bill,” Tom interjects, his voice strong. “You’re great and they’re not.” He lets out a deep breath, laughing softly. “You’re my twin,” he says, “you’ve got to be great.”
Bill can’t help but breathe out a giggle and clutch at Tom even tighter still. “Thanks, Tomi,” he says, sniffling. “I love you.”
age 16
Their faces are breaths apart as they lay on Tom’s bunk in the tour bus. Bill is homesick, clinging to his brother for some form of support, and Tom is stroking his face with gentle hands. They do this sometimes, but lately it’s been happening more and more, and Tom thinks he knows why.
“I’m glad you’re here, Tomi,” Bill says, his eyes locked with his twin’s, “I couldn’t do this if you weren’t. Really.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Bill,” Tom answers, smiling down at his brother. Bill’s eyes sparkle as he smiles through his sadness. Something in his stomach bubbles as Tom returns it.
The air between them is thick and heavy with something neither of them can place. As Tom strokes a thumb down the curve of Bill’s nose, it even sizzles.
“Tom…?” Bill asks, his voice almost non-existent as Tom leans even closer, their noses bumping. Bill can feel Tom’s warm breath against his cheek and he shudders. “Tom…”
When their lips finally touch, Bill gasps. Tom presses them together a little firmer and Bill complies for a moment, before he gasps again and pulls away, scrambling to the other side of Tom’s bunk.
“Tom…” he says for a third time. “Tom, what was that? I-I… Oh, God.”
Tom’s face doesn’t change from the look of adoration that had been there before. Slowly, he shuffles up to where Bill is now sat, rubbing at his forearms. “Bill, it’s okay,” he says quietly, watching his brother’s reactions attentively. “You wanted that, didn’t you?”
He almost misses the tiny nod that Bill makes. Tom breathes a sigh of relief, just in case he’d gotten it wrong, and closes the space between him and his twin slowly. “It’s okay,” he repeats, placing his hands gently on Bill’s waist. His nose presses against Bill again. “You’re my entire world, Bill,” he whispers, the words for Bill’s ears only. “I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s always you.”
Bill trembles in his hold, his eyes closing, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. He smiles against Tom’s skin. “Are you sure we can?”
Tom doesn’t answer him. “Do you want to?” he asks instead, bringing his hand up and cupping Bill’s face. Bill breathes in sharply and his eyes flash open. “Do you want to, Bill?”
“I… I…” Bill nods his head and then Tom’s lips are touching his again. It’s soft and gentle and Bill can feel his heart rising into his throat. It pounds in his ears and Tom pulls him closer by the waist. “Thank you,” he tells him honestly, pulling away for only a fraction of a second. “I love you,” and then Tom kisses him again.
age 17
Whenever Bill is stressed, he paces. That’s why he’s pacing now, carving a line from the sofa to the door and back again into the floor from his trainers. He has a strand of hair curled around two fingers and is chewing on his lip.
“What if they hate it?” he asks. “What if they think it doesn’t live up to the first album? Tom, what if-”
Tom quietens him with a finger to his lips. “Bill,” he says sternly, pressing his body up behind his brother’s and placing his other hand on Bill’s hip. “Bill, enough with the ‘what ifs’. Calm down or you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Take a nice deep breath…” Bill does as he’s told. “…and then let it go.”
Bill exhales loudly and leans his head back onto Tom’s shoulder.
“Feel better?” Tom asks, pressing his nose just behind Bill’s ear and dotting kisses down the side of his neck.
Bill squirms under Tom’s affections and nods. “Yeah, but what if-”
Tom laughs against Bill’s neck and pulls them back so that they land in a pile on the sofa. Anybody could walk in and see them, but for the moment, Tom doesn’t care. “Bill,” he groans, his thumbs stroking over his twin’s hipbones, caressing the hidden tattoo of a star. It’s still a little sore and Bill hisses, gently removing Tom’s hand and linking their fingers together instead. “I thought you liked the album?”
Bill wrinkles his nose cutely. “I do! I’m just scared nobody else will,” he answers timidly.
“Well, I do. And we’ve already played it to everyone and their mother,” Tom says humourously, “and they all liked it. People have even said it’s better than the last one.”
“I know,” Bill sighs, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Tom. He glances at the closed door behind them without moving, making sure that no one can see them, and then tips his head forward so he can kiss Tom’s lips. It’s soft and gentle and extremely reassuring to Bill, only lasting a moment before Bill pulls away and tucks himself under his brother’s arm. It’s warm and cosy, the one place where Bill feels the safest. “Thank you, Tomi,” he whispers, sneaking one more kiss. “I love you.”
age 20
Tom groans as he feels himself swell; his groin tingles and his thighs burn. Bill whimpers beneath him and attacks him with another round of forceful kisses as he lets himself go.
The heat that surrounds them as Tom pulls out is indescribable and it only increases as Bill wraps himself around his twin’s body, kissing his face and neck, and any other part of skin he can find. Tom encircles his arms back around Bill’s waist, letting himself be showered with love as his eyes close and he deflates, spent, against the mattress.
“Tomi,” Bill sighs against his sweaty skin. His fingers trail across his still quivering stomach; they follow the lines that outline his hard muscles and dip across his hipbones, tickling; they trail upwards and over his chest, following the pattern of his ribcage and then they find his neck, walking over his veins and finally reach his face. “Tomi, don’t fall asleep.”
Tom opens his eyes, totally unaware that they’d even shut, and he looks up at his brother. Bill is practically glowing above him, his cheeks flushed and his eyes sparkling. He looks beautiful.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” Tom says quietly, not wanting to break the peace that has fallen over them, save for the sounds of their leisurely breathing. “Just thinking, is all.”
“About what?” Bill presses, shuffling down the bed and resting his head against Tom’s gently rising and falling chest. “Tell me.”
“About stuff, about us.”
“What about us?” Bill lays a palm flat against Tom’s belly and listens to his heartbeat, one of his favourite activities to do. They don’t often get quiet moments like this; they have to grasp them when they’re offered. So that’s what they do.
Tom blushes. “Nothing,” he tries to brush it off, but Bill won’t drop it.
“No, tell me, Tomi.” He tickles his long nails around Tom’s belly button, and Tom squirms, giving in immediately.
“Okay, okay,” he relents, laughing. “Just stop that!” Bill does as he’s told and cuddles Tom again. “I was just… thinking about how much you mean to me. How happy you make me all the time. Always have done, always will.”
Bill smiles radiantly up at him and kisses his skin lovingly.
“Thank you, Bill,” Tom says, feeling something tug at his heartstrings. He’s pretty sure he knows what. “I love you.”