Strongly worded e-mail is strongly worded... and kinda long
If you don't follow my crazy on twitter, you can just pass this by, mkay?
okay, so, I know the foot surgery sounds pretty crappy. it sounds that way to me too. But I've been dealing with this for a year and a half now, and it isn't going away. The guy I saw last week and today was my second opinion. The recuperation? It's going to blow. But I'm a big girl. I can handle it.
If you can be there for me to take me to the hospital, mom is going to do the 2 weeks post op down at the farm. It make sense. All the handicap stuff is there. Bedrooms are on the main floor, and I'll have someone willing to fetch and carry. She may suck at being mom-like, but she does the mother hen thing really well (for short periods of time, anyway) and has had foot problems of her own, so she knows what it feels like.
My MRI today looked like a supernova was going off in my foot. A huge bright white patch. Much much bigger than the first MRI a year and a half ago. Even I didn't need someone to say "this is where you're broken." It was pretty obvious that you shouldn't have supernovas going off in your foot. They hurt.
So, I may be very pissy during recovery, and it may take six months to a year to fully recover - I get that. Believe me, I really do. The things I read online were not full of flowers and kittens. The idea of putting hardware in my bones? GAH! But the idea of spending years limping around and grimacing in pain? Extremely NOT appealing.
I get that surgery is scary. I get that I'm overweight, and that doesn't help matters. I get that you want the best for me. But having one parent playing devil's advocate (which sounds a lot like "you're an idiot," FYI) and the other saying "absolutely not" is not what I need right now. I'm not a kid. I didn't ask if it was okay to do this. I was informing you that I AM doing this.
I'm making the decision to do it now so that I can start recovery that much sooner, and don't have to come up with an entire year's worth of deductible on the first of January. The other option? the hard shoe and pain meds option? It doesn't lead to recovery. It's just a way to get by. It won't fix anything.
So I would appreciate it if you would just support me in this and help me out if I need some assistance. And not say "I told you so" if a month from now, I'm cursing the name of my orthopedic surgeon.
I love that you care. I love that you want the best for me. But being told that you need to consider surgery and then being blasted with negativity from your support network is not cool. Nor is it helpful. Nor do I want to spend Christmas hearing about all the things that I should really think about, and don't make any hasty decisions, and have you thought about trying to lose weight first and see if that helps? Cuz you raised me and I KNOW what you want me to think about. And I have. I knew surgery was a potential outcome, even if I didn't know it would be in this form until the MRI results came back.
Having two bones fused together AND having my calf muscle lengthened? Yeah, it's gonna be utter and complete SHIT. But I still think the results will be worth it. And if it's not? Let me be wrong as an adult making her own decision to give it a try.
okay, so, I know the foot surgery sounds pretty crappy. it sounds that way to me too. But I've been dealing with this for a year and a half now, and it isn't going away. The guy I saw last week and today was my second opinion. The recuperation? It's going to blow. But I'm a big girl. I can handle it.
If you can be there for me to take me to the hospital, mom is going to do the 2 weeks post op down at the farm. It make sense. All the handicap stuff is there. Bedrooms are on the main floor, and I'll have someone willing to fetch and carry. She may suck at being mom-like, but she does the mother hen thing really well (for short periods of time, anyway) and has had foot problems of her own, so she knows what it feels like.
My MRI today looked like a supernova was going off in my foot. A huge bright white patch. Much much bigger than the first MRI a year and a half ago. Even I didn't need someone to say "this is where you're broken." It was pretty obvious that you shouldn't have supernovas going off in your foot. They hurt.
So, I may be very pissy during recovery, and it may take six months to a year to fully recover - I get that. Believe me, I really do. The things I read online were not full of flowers and kittens. The idea of putting hardware in my bones? GAH! But the idea of spending years limping around and grimacing in pain? Extremely NOT appealing.
I get that surgery is scary. I get that I'm overweight, and that doesn't help matters. I get that you want the best for me. But having one parent playing devil's advocate (which sounds a lot like "you're an idiot," FYI) and the other saying "absolutely not" is not what I need right now. I'm not a kid. I didn't ask if it was okay to do this. I was informing you that I AM doing this.
I'm making the decision to do it now so that I can start recovery that much sooner, and don't have to come up with an entire year's worth of deductible on the first of January. The other option? the hard shoe and pain meds option? It doesn't lead to recovery. It's just a way to get by. It won't fix anything.
So I would appreciate it if you would just support me in this and help me out if I need some assistance. And not say "I told you so" if a month from now, I'm cursing the name of my orthopedic surgeon.
I love that you care. I love that you want the best for me. But being told that you need to consider surgery and then being blasted with negativity from your support network is not cool. Nor is it helpful. Nor do I want to spend Christmas hearing about all the things that I should really think about, and don't make any hasty decisions, and have you thought about trying to lose weight first and see if that helps? Cuz you raised me and I KNOW what you want me to think about. And I have. I knew surgery was a potential outcome, even if I didn't know it would be in this form until the MRI results came back.
Having two bones fused together AND having my calf muscle lengthened? Yeah, it's gonna be utter and complete SHIT. But I still think the results will be worth it. And if it's not? Let me be wrong as an adult making her own decision to give it a try.