4 months

[live_for_speed]

Well its taken me 4 months but I have finally figured out the emotion I have been feeling. Disappointment. I was disappointed when I realized everything. I never expected them to disappoint me and I think thats why it hurt the most and took me so long to uncover. Somethings you just never believe could happen and they do and then your left with

Comments

True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

[supergxcx]

Sometimes ppl go thru their "book" often. And remember every page. But they know they cant erase it or rewrite it, bc they didnt write it in the first place.

I told you Im still here if you ever need no matter what, despite ur decision to not want that (which was ironically like brendans). I never gave up on him, so y do u think I would give up on u? I think you know me well enough that u would kno as I let him work it out on his own terms, I gotta do the same for you.

But Im still here you know how to find me if you ever choose to do so.

Re: True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

[live_for_speed]

I dont think Ill be able to. You, your brother, allyson - you were pages guild in gold in my book and this may sound really selfish or immature or something along there but - I can't handle not being the same in yours. The realization I wasn't was a big disappointment for me and I dont think I can handle that again. It hurt a lot. I know He said do even tho others may not, but it hurt and it still hurts. Maybe its my own fault for expecting more of you all but none the less it hurt not too recieve it after everything I put in. I gave all of you everything I had. You were the first people I trusted with anything about me. I gave you all my heart and my love beyond what I can explain. I would have dropped everything at a moments notice for all of you.I just dont know if I can deal with that disappointment a second time of finding out im wrong again. The truth is G, I love you guys and I never felt it back...I was attentive to you guys and the little things you knew always made me calmer like getting back at me when i called, or calling

Re: True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

[supergxcx]

i cant make you change ur assumptions. i kno that. but u never stopped to think that maybe once u were wrong. mayb the world isnt exactly as u c it, anx mayb ppl dont do things to hurt others. sometimes u need to confront things rather than pushing it all away, and see what change can be made. but apparently thas not how u guys seem to wanna do things.

Re: True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

[live_for_speed]

I tried telling you guys before...You all know what its like for me and the things that can upset me. I tried many times and you would fix it but only for a little. Then things would just slowly fade back to the same. I treat others the way I expect them or would like them to treat me in return and the things I do are the things I hope someone to do for me and I tried showing that to you guys by my actions. I would rather not bring him into this but I will, I destroyed my strongest friendship in an attempt to keep us all together. Because secrets never keep anyone together. And you know maybe I failed, and yea you guys lost a friend too but Brendan was my brother, we understood eachother like no one else. You know why I told you what i did about brendan and why he wouldnt talk to you? Why I told you you could stop talking to me if it meant you could be friends with him