Gender Musings

[livefrommombasa]

Helen Boyd wrote the books My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser and She's Not the Man I Married: My Life with a Transgender Husband. I've read the latter and it is full of astute comments on gender and sexuality, especially her transition from a heterosexual woman married to a man to a woman who is legally married to a trans

Comments

[stone_reader]

I think that discussion of trans issues is right on.

A highlight of this problem to me is labelling things "LGBT." To me, that implies to the larger world that we all love and support each other, which isn't necessarily the case. I know that there are huge issues between the trans community and the gay community--we're not all one big happy family.

[livefrommombasa]

I think that's exactly right. I can't speak for gay men, but I know a huge part of the problem for me is that many people expect me as a dyke to be well-versed in trans issues, especially concerning FtM transfolk. That's not necessarily the case - not for me or for many other women-loving-women I know. And it's so hard to learn about trans issues when lesbians questioning what it really means to be trans in relation to their own gender-bending experiences are so often shut down. Certainly, many FtMs identified as lesbians prior to coming out as trans and so many of these men have an insider's perspective on the lesbian community. The reverse is not necessarily true. And as Boyd is ever the partner's advocate, she also talks about how it gets even messier when trans men (understandably) feel a need to distance themselves from lesbians and/or women, especially if they are in a relationship with a woman who previously identified or still identifies as a lesbian

[livefrommombasa]

The result of all of this is that I find myself trying to become as well-versed on trans issues as I can.