Martin Kelly interview
I was flicking through yesterday's match programme, which I don't usually buy, and found an interview with Martin Kelly in it. Obviously this shows I bought it due to subliminal messaging. So I scanned it.
Just in case the scans get deleted, I've typed the main bit out:
During a game do you talk a lot or are you quiet?
I wouldn't say I'm the loudest. When I do need to talk or pass on information to someone I can do it. Or if somebody needs encouragement I'm happy to do that too.
Can you hear the coaching staff shouting instructions from the bench?
The voice I usually hear is Jamie's. You get used to that! He's louder than everyone else and makes himself heard. It's good because the instructions he shouts are usually vital and help you to do better.
Who is always laughing on the training pitch?
I think the whole squad has a good vibe around it. We all have a laugh and a joke and get on well. I think that's good and can only be helpful for the team.
Which of your outfield teammates fancies themselves as a goalkeeper?
I don't think there is anyone who's particularly keen to play in goal. If someone had to I'd say Coley would give it a go. It's not the same but Pepe is very good when he's outfield. I remember him joining in some possession exercises last season and he didn't look out of place at all.
What's the best game you've played in so far in your career?
I don't think I've been involved in too many where there have been lots of goals. Most of the games I've featured in have been tight. When we played Chelsea last season it was 2-0 and 1-0 so I'd probably go for one of them.
In games like those, can you appreciate how well the team is playing at the time?
No. That doesn't come into your mind, you're just concentrating on doing your job and trying to win. It's only afterwards you can reflect on how good the performance was or wasn't.
Which of the lads takes most stick in the dressing room and why?
I don't think anyone gets singled out. But I think we were all in agreement that Andy's beard had to go. A few of us mentioned it and we were all pleased to see him come into training the other day without it.
What's the most goals you've scored in one game?
I scored a hat-trick once, I think that was when I was playing with the U14s. It was in a tournament at Keele University near Stoke. Unfortunately I didn't get to keep the matchball. Since then I've played at centre-back a lot so opportunities to score don't come along too often.
What's your favourite type of goal?
I think when you see someone dribble past a few defenders and then score it's brilliant. That's the way to do it.
Who do you sit beside in the dressing room?
It's all done by numbers so I have Jonjo on one side and Skerts on the other. Jonjo is a Londoner and a bit of a character. Sometimes I have to calm him down. He's a good lad and it's easy to have a laugh with him. Skerts' English is good now, or as good as it's going to get. It's good to sit beside him because he gets involved in the banter too.
If you could organise a round of golf with three other people who would you choose?
Johnny Drama from the Entourage TV show. He would definitely be a good member of a fourball. Tiger Woods, just to see exactly how good he is. And the last one would be Mike Tyson. I'd love to see his reaction if he lost.
Who's the best golfer at Liverpool?
I think a few of the lads rate themselves. Dan Agger is definitely up there. Stevie is pretty steady too.
What about the worst?
I'm going to pick Martin Hansen. He says he's good but he never plays so he doesn't back it up.
Did you go on holiday during the summer?
Yeah, I went on a few trips. I went to Marbella, Ibiza and Portugal. It was great to relax and get some sunshine. I played golf in Portgual so that was great.
What's your favourite meal?
My mum's spaghetti bolognese.
Can you cook?
Yes I can. The problem is it takes me a really long time. If I was cooking a meal for somebody they'd probably go hungry.
If the lads had a masterchef comp who would win?
I don't know if any of the lads fancy themselves as a chef. Maybe Alberto because he's Italian and they are usually in to cooking big meals.
Do you take part in Fantasy Football?
I used to. But I'm no good at it. I used to pick players who I rated but they never got me points week in week out.
If you were taking part this season who would be your first pick?
Suarez, because hopefully he's going to get us a lot of goals.
What do your mates work as? And if you had to swap jobs with one of them for a day which one would you choose?
The majority of them are in the building trade. They're either electricians, brickies, joiners or something similar. Two of the lads are coaches, so I'd swap with them. If I had to change jobs I reckon that would be a good alternative.
What I learnt from this interview: We could never live together because even though we can both cook, we take too long and eventually we'd die from starvation.
Source: LFC v Valencia match programme
Just in case the scans get deleted, I've typed the main bit out:
During a game do you talk a lot or are you quiet?
I wouldn't say I'm the loudest. When I do need to talk or pass on information to someone I can do it. Or if somebody needs encouragement I'm happy to do that too.
Can you hear the coaching staff shouting instructions from the bench?
The voice I usually hear is Jamie's. You get used to that! He's louder than everyone else and makes himself heard. It's good because the instructions he shouts are usually vital and help you to do better.
Who is always laughing on the training pitch?
I think the whole squad has a good vibe around it. We all have a laugh and a joke and get on well. I think that's good and can only be helpful for the team.
Which of your outfield teammates fancies themselves as a goalkeeper?
I don't think there is anyone who's particularly keen to play in goal. If someone had to I'd say Coley would give it a go. It's not the same but Pepe is very good when he's outfield. I remember him joining in some possession exercises last season and he didn't look out of place at all.
What's the best game you've played in so far in your career?
I don't think I've been involved in too many where there have been lots of goals. Most of the games I've featured in have been tight. When we played Chelsea last season it was 2-0 and 1-0 so I'd probably go for one of them.
In games like those, can you appreciate how well the team is playing at the time?
No. That doesn't come into your mind, you're just concentrating on doing your job and trying to win. It's only afterwards you can reflect on how good the performance was or wasn't.
Which of the lads takes most stick in the dressing room and why?
I don't think anyone gets singled out. But I think we were all in agreement that Andy's beard had to go. A few of us mentioned it and we were all pleased to see him come into training the other day without it.
What's the most goals you've scored in one game?
I scored a hat-trick once, I think that was when I was playing with the U14s. It was in a tournament at Keele University near Stoke. Unfortunately I didn't get to keep the matchball. Since then I've played at centre-back a lot so opportunities to score don't come along too often.
What's your favourite type of goal?
I think when you see someone dribble past a few defenders and then score it's brilliant. That's the way to do it.
Who do you sit beside in the dressing room?
It's all done by numbers so I have Jonjo on one side and Skerts on the other. Jonjo is a Londoner and a bit of a character. Sometimes I have to calm him down. He's a good lad and it's easy to have a laugh with him. Skerts' English is good now, or as good as it's going to get. It's good to sit beside him because he gets involved in the banter too.
If you could organise a round of golf with three other people who would you choose?
Johnny Drama from the Entourage TV show. He would definitely be a good member of a fourball. Tiger Woods, just to see exactly how good he is. And the last one would be Mike Tyson. I'd love to see his reaction if he lost.
Who's the best golfer at Liverpool?
I think a few of the lads rate themselves. Dan Agger is definitely up there. Stevie is pretty steady too.
What about the worst?
I'm going to pick Martin Hansen. He says he's good but he never plays so he doesn't back it up.
Did you go on holiday during the summer?
Yeah, I went on a few trips. I went to Marbella, Ibiza and Portugal. It was great to relax and get some sunshine. I played golf in Portgual so that was great.
What's your favourite meal?
My mum's spaghetti bolognese.
Can you cook?
Yes I can. The problem is it takes me a really long time. If I was cooking a meal for somebody they'd probably go hungry.
If the lads had a masterchef comp who would win?
I don't know if any of the lads fancy themselves as a chef. Maybe Alberto because he's Italian and they are usually in to cooking big meals.
Do you take part in Fantasy Football?
I used to. But I'm no good at it. I used to pick players who I rated but they never got me points week in week out.
If you were taking part this season who would be your first pick?
Suarez, because hopefully he's going to get us a lot of goals.
What do your mates work as? And if you had to swap jobs with one of them for a day which one would you choose?
The majority of them are in the building trade. They're either electricians, brickies, joiners or something similar. Two of the lads are coaches, so I'd swap with them. If I had to change jobs I reckon that would be a good alternative.
What I learnt from this interview: We could never live together because even though we can both cook, we take too long and eventually we'd die from starvation.
Source: LFC v Valencia match programme