(no subject)
title: letting go
author: forgotten evil
rating: R-NC17
characters: non specified
disclaimer: no profit made, to be safe i own nothing
notes: i think i posted this in communities ages ago but forgot to post it here.:S this was on a whim, only took half hour to write and left as was.
They said they would come.
They said they would meet me there.
They said they would hold my hand
They said they would never give up.
They said they would never leave.
They said that they loved me.
They said that they promised.
But they never did.
I knew they wouldn’t. So I didn’t care.
Even as the noose began to tighten.
Even as I stood at the edge of the cliff.
Even as my head was laid on the block.
Even as I trembled on the razor blade.
Even as they threatened to pull the chord
Even as I stepped too roughly on the eggshells.
Even as the darkness approached.
But you made it through to my eye, the eye in the middle of the cyclone.
I feared you more than anything else. Because you were apart me. You had always been there. Because you looked at me, you took interest in me. And you wouldn’t stop it.
Even as I stood silently screaming over your sleeping form, begging you to please leave me alone, to go away and to not do this.
I could see my eyes drilling holes in you, watching in amazement as large black holes appeared in your skin. I had the power to do that? I had power and effect over you. Then you’d open your eyes, nodding coyingly. You’d stare at me, and I’d back up as I looked down at my chest, a large black hole forming. Id scream out loud, because no! No! You had power and effect on me.
Then I’d run, run till I could run no more. So I’d stop, falling over from exhaustion as I’d look up. And you’d be there, smiling down at me as I disappeared into blackness.
You’d bend down, easily lifting my limp form into your arms as you carried me back to our room. You carried me. I’d mentally scream every time, as I told my self to brake free of your gentle hold and walk on my own legs.
Soon I’d have the strength to walk on my own, but I’d stay in your arms, clinging to you as I cried, screaming at you for doing this to me.
You’d lay me down, brushing tears from my eyes as you told me to hush, and I did.
Then you’d look at me, cocking your head to the side. And I’d sigh, giving up as I spread myself to you, arms and legs reaching all four corners of the bed, of our world.
You’d tie me to our four corners, telling me how it was, how you felt. All I would do is stare at the ceiling that wasn’t there, as I mentally killed myself for allowing this fall.
What would follow would not be love, we never made love. Between this world and that we made mistrust, we made hollowness, trouble, neglect, fierceness, jealousy, captivity, repression. You showed me hate and you showed me pain.
Then you’d rise, as you took me away, opening the door and taking me where I never wanted to be.
you told me you’d leave me with no audience
You told me you would leave me waiting.
You told me you would push away my hand.
You told me you would give up on me.
You told me you would leave me.
You told me you would hate me.
You told me you would break your word.
But you never did.
I knew you wouldn’t. So I didn’t care.
You loosened the rope.
You pulled me back from the edge.
You replaced my head with yours.
You held my hand, steadying me.
You made sure I remained attached to the wall.
You re-glued every broken shell.
You were my light.
author: forgotten evil
rating: R-NC17
characters: non specified
disclaimer: no profit made, to be safe i own nothing
notes: i think i posted this in communities ages ago but forgot to post it here.:S this was on a whim, only took half hour to write and left as was.
They said they would come.
They said they would meet me there.
They said they would hold my hand
They said they would never give up.
They said they would never leave.
They said that they loved me.
They said that they promised.
But they never did.
I knew they wouldn’t. So I didn’t care.
Even as the noose began to tighten.
Even as I stood at the edge of the cliff.
Even as my head was laid on the block.
Even as I trembled on the razor blade.
Even as they threatened to pull the chord
Even as I stepped too roughly on the eggshells.
Even as the darkness approached.
But you made it through to my eye, the eye in the middle of the cyclone.
I feared you more than anything else. Because you were apart me. You had always been there. Because you looked at me, you took interest in me. And you wouldn’t stop it.
Even as I stood silently screaming over your sleeping form, begging you to please leave me alone, to go away and to not do this.
I could see my eyes drilling holes in you, watching in amazement as large black holes appeared in your skin. I had the power to do that? I had power and effect over you. Then you’d open your eyes, nodding coyingly. You’d stare at me, and I’d back up as I looked down at my chest, a large black hole forming. Id scream out loud, because no! No! You had power and effect on me.
Then I’d run, run till I could run no more. So I’d stop, falling over from exhaustion as I’d look up. And you’d be there, smiling down at me as I disappeared into blackness.
You’d bend down, easily lifting my limp form into your arms as you carried me back to our room. You carried me. I’d mentally scream every time, as I told my self to brake free of your gentle hold and walk on my own legs.
Soon I’d have the strength to walk on my own, but I’d stay in your arms, clinging to you as I cried, screaming at you for doing this to me.
You’d lay me down, brushing tears from my eyes as you told me to hush, and I did.
Then you’d look at me, cocking your head to the side. And I’d sigh, giving up as I spread myself to you, arms and legs reaching all four corners of the bed, of our world.
You’d tie me to our four corners, telling me how it was, how you felt. All I would do is stare at the ceiling that wasn’t there, as I mentally killed myself for allowing this fall.
What would follow would not be love, we never made love. Between this world and that we made mistrust, we made hollowness, trouble, neglect, fierceness, jealousy, captivity, repression. You showed me hate and you showed me pain.
Then you’d rise, as you took me away, opening the door and taking me where I never wanted to be.
you told me you’d leave me with no audience
You told me you would leave me waiting.
You told me you would push away my hand.
You told me you would give up on me.
You told me you would leave me.
You told me you would hate me.
You told me you would break your word.
But you never did.
I knew you wouldn’t. So I didn’t care.
You loosened the rope.
You pulled me back from the edge.
You replaced my head with yours.
You held my hand, steadying me.
You made sure I remained attached to the wall.
You re-glued every broken shell.
You were my light.