Oct 2 1997.....(ya may want to skip this)
I gave a lot of thought to weather or not I should post about this day and all cause it is rather personal but I am leaving out a lot of details....& then I thought what the hell its my journal and I can always delete it later...
1997 was my Senior year in high school.....and it wasn't really shaping up to be tooo peachy ....My Mom moved out again right after my birthday in Jan...my parents divorce was final in March ....I was having car trouble and well I was in a relationship with a total jack-ass (yes I hope you read this you sick fuck!!) who treated me like shit among other things....my job sucked but then again I was working in fast food...there were good things though....my bestfriend/sister Jenn had gotten accepted early to a great but small medical college in upstate Ga and I got a letter from FSU saying that after receiveing my early applaication that they were interested in me visiting in the fall and looking into their nursing & psychology programs once I had finished applying for scholorships and all that (....basicly it was a letter that stated that even with my little "learning disability" my grades where good enough and they could work around my math problems...and my lil legal problem (I was arrested for shoplifting *it was a prank!* 20$ worth of cosmetics...) So me and Jenn set out to make all the plans for our first summer out of high school (a month long beach trip to PC) and of course all the normal promises of writing everyday and seeing each other on the holidays....and we set out to party as much of our Sr. year away while we could......and boy we did!!
but for reasons I can't really explain all though I've tried I know a million times... On 10/2/97 my sister went home around 2pm (she was in the work release program @ school so she got to leave early) .....she paged me once while I was in my last period psych class ....I didn't call her back then cause it was only 15 mintues till I left school and I would just call her when I got home ....I figured she just wanted to ditch work and go shopping ....it was the day before the Eve of Homecoming and we still needed new makeup for the dance ....I grew up in a small town where Homecoming is like the Super Bowl ....folks go crazy...but no thats not why she paged me ...sometime between that last page and 4pm Jenn shot herself in the head ....killing her instantly....and forever changing the lives of too many ppl for me to count...soooo much time has pasted and sometimes it still hurts like it just happened...but I did learn a few things about myself and the human condtion...
*Live life like there is no tomorrow & Love like its your last chance!!*
(Also NOTHING is ever THAT bad...and you can't live in the past)
So yeah no matter what happens or where I am on 10/2 I have a heavy heart...like today I couldn't shake that odd feeling until I looked at the screen and saw the date...so now I'm going to go live my life and I know she is with me ....and I hope she is proud of how strong I am now...cause I'm still here
1997 was my Senior year in high school.....and it wasn't really shaping up to be tooo peachy ....My Mom moved out again right after my birthday in Jan...my parents divorce was final in March ....I was having car trouble and well I was in a relationship with a total jack-ass (yes I hope you read this you sick fuck!!) who treated me like shit among other things....my job sucked but then again I was working in fast food...there were good things though....my bestfriend/sister Jenn had gotten accepted early to a great but small medical college in upstate Ga and I got a letter from FSU saying that after receiveing my early applaication that they were interested in me visiting in the fall and looking into their nursing & psychology programs once I had finished applying for scholorships and all that (....basicly it was a letter that stated that even with my little "learning disability" my grades where good enough and they could work around my math problems...and my lil legal problem (I was arrested for shoplifting *it was a prank!* 20$ worth of cosmetics...) So me and Jenn set out to make all the plans for our first summer out of high school (a month long beach trip to PC) and of course all the normal promises of writing everyday and seeing each other on the holidays....and we set out to party as much of our Sr. year away while we could......and boy we did!!
but for reasons I can't really explain all though I've tried I know a million times... On 10/2/97 my sister went home around 2pm (she was in the work release program @ school so she got to leave early) .....she paged me once while I was in my last period psych class ....I didn't call her back then cause it was only 15 mintues till I left school and I would just call her when I got home ....I figured she just wanted to ditch work and go shopping ....it was the day before the Eve of Homecoming and we still needed new makeup for the dance ....I grew up in a small town where Homecoming is like the Super Bowl ....folks go crazy...but no thats not why she paged me ...sometime between that last page and 4pm Jenn shot herself in the head ....killing her instantly....and forever changing the lives of too many ppl for me to count...soooo much time has pasted and sometimes it still hurts like it just happened...but I did learn a few things about myself and the human condtion...
*Live life like there is no tomorrow & Love like its your last chance!!*
(Also NOTHING is ever THAT bad...and you can't live in the past)
So yeah no matter what happens or where I am on 10/2 I have a heavy heart...like today I couldn't shake that odd feeling until I looked at the screen and saw the date...so now I'm going to go live my life and I know she is with me ....and I hope she is proud of how strong I am now...cause I'm still here