On the topic of love...
After reading Karen's love analysis, I've decided to spout a few ideas of my own...bear with me
On the topic of love, and what I've observed and lived:
Everyone, who puts themselves in the position where they open their hearts to someone, have the subconscious intent to hurt.
Let me explain myself.
In the grand scheme of things, people get together in a relationship to mate. And you either A: Plan to be with this person the rest of their lives(ie: marriage) or B: Break up is inevtitable.
At the time, forever seems inevitable. But, for forever to be inevitable, the two parties need to be like minded in the sense that they -both- want forever. And if two parties both decide they want forever, but haven't been together for a long enough time to have experienced a taste of what forever might be like, then hurt is inevitable.
Another point I'd like to make in the setting-one's-self-up-for-hurt scenario is as follows:
People who are in a realtionship, where the mutual love between the two parties is unclear or non-existant, and one of the parties is left in love whilst the other is out of love.
This is a common occurance. The loving party vs. the unloving party shows that the loving party holds on to the relationship with the unloving party because of hope. They "hope" things get better or rewind to the intial early stage of their courtship which drew them together. Usually, at the beginning of the courtship, both parties were in same state of mind and were content with their position, but as time progressed, and they tasted forever, one of the parties got turned off the idea of forever with that one party for whatever reasons, and thus, became the unloving party. While the loving party is still in caring for the unloving party, subconsciously they realize that something is amiss yet hold on the notion that things may be like they -were- when they -wanted- forever.
What this comes down to is when one party is uninvolved with the relationship for lack of wanting or caring and the other party feels the seperation aproaching but becomes naive of it's existence, hurt is inevitable.
This doesn't go to say that hurt is inevitable in all instances. And let me explain.
For those who live happily ever after with their "soul mates" this is your retort:
Forever DOES EXIST. It's getting rarer and rarer and ever so obselite in this day in age, but it does exist. What there needs to be for a forever courtship to ensue is mutuality.
Both parties need to be like-minded in the respect that they BOTH know what they want out of a relationship, and this person fufils that for them.
Both parties need to be involved.
For both parties to be involved, both parties need to be comfortable in their mind set of the realtionship stand point, and like Karen stated: Their love must be selfless.
But for their love/courtship to be forever, the selflessness needs to be mutual.
So, what it comes down to, and here's the point:
For a relationship to last, and pertain to forever, the two parties involved must have complete, selfless, duality and mutuality in the relationship. The two parties must be like-minded in the sense that the two parties both know what and who they need to make a relationship work.
*With naivety ensues hurt.
*With selfishness ensues hurt.
*With rushing ensues hurt.
For a successful courtship, pertaining to a forever status, the two parties involved must both be intelligent or stupid. Stupid vs. Stupid doesn't clash and neither does Intelligence vs. Intelligence. This doens't go to say that oppisites don't attract, simply put it means that the two parties must have the same wants in the courtship for their personalities not to clash and ensue hurt.
Therefore: Both individuals, must be like-minded int he pursuit of the courtship process so their personalities don't clash or hurt is inevitable.
On the topic of love, and what I've observed and lived:
Everyone, who puts themselves in the position where they open their hearts to someone, have the subconscious intent to hurt.
Let me explain myself.
In the grand scheme of things, people get together in a relationship to mate. And you either A: Plan to be with this person the rest of their lives(ie: marriage) or B: Break up is inevtitable.
At the time, forever seems inevitable. But, for forever to be inevitable, the two parties need to be like minded in the sense that they -both- want forever. And if two parties both decide they want forever, but haven't been together for a long enough time to have experienced a taste of what forever might be like, then hurt is inevitable.
Another point I'd like to make in the setting-one's-self-up-for-hurt scenario is as follows:
People who are in a realtionship, where the mutual love between the two parties is unclear or non-existant, and one of the parties is left in love whilst the other is out of love.
This is a common occurance. The loving party vs. the unloving party shows that the loving party holds on to the relationship with the unloving party because of hope. They "hope" things get better or rewind to the intial early stage of their courtship which drew them together. Usually, at the beginning of the courtship, both parties were in same state of mind and were content with their position, but as time progressed, and they tasted forever, one of the parties got turned off the idea of forever with that one party for whatever reasons, and thus, became the unloving party. While the loving party is still in caring for the unloving party, subconsciously they realize that something is amiss yet hold on the notion that things may be like they -were- when they -wanted- forever.
What this comes down to is when one party is uninvolved with the relationship for lack of wanting or caring and the other party feels the seperation aproaching but becomes naive of it's existence, hurt is inevitable.
This doesn't go to say that hurt is inevitable in all instances. And let me explain.
For those who live happily ever after with their "soul mates" this is your retort:
Forever DOES EXIST. It's getting rarer and rarer and ever so obselite in this day in age, but it does exist. What there needs to be for a forever courtship to ensue is mutuality.
Both parties need to be like-minded in the respect that they BOTH know what they want out of a relationship, and this person fufils that for them.
Both parties need to be involved.
For both parties to be involved, both parties need to be comfortable in their mind set of the realtionship stand point, and like Karen stated: Their love must be selfless.
But for their love/courtship to be forever, the selflessness needs to be mutual.
So, what it comes down to, and here's the point:
For a relationship to last, and pertain to forever, the two parties involved must have complete, selfless, duality and mutuality in the relationship. The two parties must be like-minded in the sense that the two parties both know what and who they need to make a relationship work.
*With naivety ensues hurt.
*With selfishness ensues hurt.
*With rushing ensues hurt.
For a successful courtship, pertaining to a forever status, the two parties involved must both be intelligent or stupid. Stupid vs. Stupid doesn't clash and neither does Intelligence vs. Intelligence. This doens't go to say that oppisites don't attract, simply put it means that the two parties must have the same wants in the courtship for their personalities not to clash and ensue hurt.
Therefore: Both individuals, must be like-minded int he pursuit of the courtship process so their personalities don't clash or hurt is inevitable.