(no subject)
I was going through my e-mail earlier today, and came across some old poetry I wrote. I e-mail'd them a while back to a friend of mine, who offered to have her college poetry class review them - and give me the feedback.
Poem #1
maybe im just blind
to not see the flower
sitting upon the green field
painted a beautiful picture today
of my soul free and roaming
everybody had a smile, but nobody understood
utopia.
maybe i dont understand
the pedal to the floor
driving away on this interstate
away from it all, to no extent
destination unknown and full tank
i see tomorrow as hope, yesterday as regret.
running away.
and you my dear,
were the one who told me
everything's ok, everythings beautiful
that i'd always have a place in your heart
well baby, you never lost your place in mine.
everything in me.
i thought of flying amongst the clouds
the soaring eagle, the simple finch
out and away i soar in harmony
carried with my only strength
love as if a bird.
i dont want to look behind me
i want to get lost in your precious eyes
in your only treasure
you.
i want to forget who i was,
your hand equals mine
and im thinking
oh well
oh well... appearantly nothing,
ever works for tomorrow
today, tomorrow.
and all i can remember,
is you know it.
the kiss rememberance
floats in my mind.
heart is yours,
like a day promised.
Poem #2
and we're gonna weep in between the sleep
until we float away into broken promises
too much too hard to keep
and if this means nothing to you,
then im sorry.
but i just cant resist my feelings,
i cant just say goodbye.
cause im sitting here in the corner,
forget all i've ever done before.
'cause now it's all that matters,
these make-believe moments are all i ever think of.
all these things i could do for the better.
yet i know inside i stand no chance,
cause you're still looking the other way.
light comes across the night,
signaling a new day to begin.
I hide in the darkness afraid of your face,
scared of the rejection.
why are your words so tender,
your voice so calming and sincere.
when in your presence,
it\'s like im walking a dream atop water.
the light shines into my world,
as i see your figure walking.
no shadow needed,
for there's no darkness to speak of within you.
you've taken my hand to yours;
and i lift above all else.
what a magnificant moment.
one that'll never be of yesterday,
or to live to tomorrow.
it'll last in this time, forever.
but i awake from my slumber,
tears falling downwards.
does it ever get better;
does my hand ever meet yours?
Just adds to what I could possibly do with my life. Problem is, I don't consider a lot of my writing very good... mostly because I've flipped through my English 4 book to read all the poety (I get bored in class sometimes), and find REALLY good examples of an author's work. So now I figure I'd ask everyone who knows me, is my poetry any good? Note though, I probably have posted these two poems in the past, as they are my favorite out of anything I've ever written.