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last of the bloggers
I'm in markham and as usual for when I'm here I can't sleep. I wonder why. anyway I was on facebook and two things happened. first I discoveres another of my friends has got married and it made me lonely. (old news, but less powerful when expressed). two, i found myself disapointed by the lack of updates of the blogs of a few friends. I wonder/ ( Read more... ) -
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only half way through barbershop week and I'm already exhausted. I cannont wait for this to be all over. i love being on stage and performing, I just hate these kind of demands on my time. perhaps its just that I not used to the grind of competition. I'll tell you, I'd be pissed if I was paying an extra hundred a night like I would if I didn't ( Read more... ) -
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yesterday and the day before, i've been a bit nostalgic wiith my onr year comming up. on my way back from the toronto poetry slam and I stopped for a smoke at camh. Im sitting on a staircase that I used to rush my last tallcan before going in. it was while I was here I was drinking and going to meetings, a distinct low in my journey. Noe that im ( Read more... ) -
Muscle memory
today was a great meeting at the message. the speaker spoke of how the steps changed how she precieved everything and how that change had a domino effect on how she behaved and reacted in every other aspect of her life. then she topped it off by telling us her father died and the funeral was last weekend.
I also had some good personal chats. G told ( Read more... ) -
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I was listening to a tape on emotional sobriety today that I thought was really good. the speaker touched on self-hate as a charecter defect, people pleasing, neediness and a few other nerves. I have to re-listen and take some notes, but the one thing that I temember him saying is that it starts with accepting myself as I am now..... I dont know ( Read more... ) -
digital diary
I’ve been thinking about starting this thing, this digital journal back up for a while. And here I am. For the moment I’m going to dispose of the pleasantries of catching up and the highs and lows of the few years, and instead speak to why I’m writing now. I feel that though I’m approaching a year of sobriety from alcohol and other drugs, I’m still ( Read more... ) -
Tiesto feat Sneaky Sound System - I will be here
I don't know, what went wrong ( Read more... ) -
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So I’m back on the blog tip and as expected I’m somewhat at a loss of where to begin. I know on one level that’s a good thing because I’m usually depressed when i feel a pressing need to blog, but on another i think it speaks to my disassociation to any feelings other then sadness. A first instinct is to tell of my week(end) but I also personally ( Read more... ) -
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Through pain and adversity come strength. I feel like it time for a major change in my life. I'm broke, and its making me very unhappy so i figure i have two choices as far as actions i must take immediately 1, get a job so i can pay for the lifestyle that i'm so addicted to or 2, change my lifestyle. I think i'm going 2 just go straightedge. In ( Read more... ) -
OLD SA POST 2
Ok so I have to start a new blog entry. I guess you don’t know, but I pre-type my blogs b4 I post them. In some instances I require having 2 ongoing blogs b4 I have a chance to post/complete one. At the moment i’m almost finished a catch-up type blog but I have to start this one afresh. I’m getting frustrated at how when doing these catch up blogs ( Read more... )