Writer's Block: Outta My Way!
Lawd, yes! Like, on a daily basis.
The family joke is that there are lots of folks out there who didn't have daddies what loved 'em when they were little to teach them how to drive properly. My father is something of a scientist by nature, and a great big car geek. Before he had children, he had Porches. His favorite weekend activity was to take the Porches out for a road rally or time trial. As much as he loved racing them, he would only consent to time trials because he was afraid that putting them on the track with other cars in a traditional race might result in chipped or scratched paint. And really, we can't have that!
In that vein, he started teaching the two of us to drive when we were in elementary school. No, not like Britney Spears, but whenever we were out and about, if he saw someone do something stupid, he'd make a point to tell us why what had just happened was a bad idea. Naturally by the time we were teenagers, we wanted no part of actual driving lessons with Dad, so our grandfather took over the operational part of the training. But the early training we got all those years before stuck with us. We can both give you the rules of the road in our sleep. And I really think other folks oughta get on board! Some of Daddy's more practical rules include:
1. The left lane is for passing, not cruising.
2. The faster you go, the farther left you should be.
3. If you must do the speed limit on an interstate highway, have the decency to move all the way to the right.
4. Rolling roadblocks are impolite. If you find yourself in one, move ahead or drop back so as to break it up.
5. If you're the first one in line in the turning lane waiting for the arrow - no daydreaming! You've got to jump out there fast so that as many of the cars behind you as possible will also have the opportunity to go before the light turns red.
6. Tailgateing is dangerous and rude. As is riding in someone's blind spot.
7. If you're cruising in the left-hand lane and someone flashes their lights behind you, it means they want you to move your slow ass out of the way so that they can go on. Don't be mad, you weren't supposed to be cruising in the left-hand lane anyway, because that's the passing lane. Just move over and let them by. If for no other reason than the cop just around the bend will stop them, and not you.
8. When on a small, twisty country road, watch behind you. You may be out for a Sunday afternoon joyride, but others may be shift workers trying to get to the job. Or daddies driving their wives to the hospital to deliver brand-new babies. It isn't nice to block up the road. If traffic is stacking up behind you, kindly pull off and let them pass.
It annoys the stuffing out of me when people are deliberately rude while out on the road. It annoys me even more when I see that such a person is probably oblivious to their own rudeness because they're on the phone. If you can't multi-task, hang up the frickin' phone! It annoys me the most when I'm trying to get to work in the morning and can't because all the rude drivers on the road have behaved so stupidly that once again, there's a major wreck that's shut down the interstate. I have a theory that states like New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Texas, Ohio, Michigan and Minnesota have exported all their rude drivers to the Carolinas. Much as we appreciate y'all being generous to share with us, we'd sure appreciate if you took them back!
The family joke is that there are lots of folks out there who didn't have daddies what loved 'em when they were little to teach them how to drive properly. My father is something of a scientist by nature, and a great big car geek. Before he had children, he had Porches. His favorite weekend activity was to take the Porches out for a road rally or time trial. As much as he loved racing them, he would only consent to time trials because he was afraid that putting them on the track with other cars in a traditional race might result in chipped or scratched paint. And really, we can't have that!
In that vein, he started teaching the two of us to drive when we were in elementary school. No, not like Britney Spears, but whenever we were out and about, if he saw someone do something stupid, he'd make a point to tell us why what had just happened was a bad idea. Naturally by the time we were teenagers, we wanted no part of actual driving lessons with Dad, so our grandfather took over the operational part of the training. But the early training we got all those years before stuck with us. We can both give you the rules of the road in our sleep. And I really think other folks oughta get on board! Some of Daddy's more practical rules include:
1. The left lane is for passing, not cruising.
2. The faster you go, the farther left you should be.
3. If you must do the speed limit on an interstate highway, have the decency to move all the way to the right.
4. Rolling roadblocks are impolite. If you find yourself in one, move ahead or drop back so as to break it up.
5. If you're the first one in line in the turning lane waiting for the arrow - no daydreaming! You've got to jump out there fast so that as many of the cars behind you as possible will also have the opportunity to go before the light turns red.
6. Tailgateing is dangerous and rude. As is riding in someone's blind spot.
7. If you're cruising in the left-hand lane and someone flashes their lights behind you, it means they want you to move your slow ass out of the way so that they can go on. Don't be mad, you weren't supposed to be cruising in the left-hand lane anyway, because that's the passing lane. Just move over and let them by. If for no other reason than the cop just around the bend will stop them, and not you.
8. When on a small, twisty country road, watch behind you. You may be out for a Sunday afternoon joyride, but others may be shift workers trying to get to the job. Or daddies driving their wives to the hospital to deliver brand-new babies. It isn't nice to block up the road. If traffic is stacking up behind you, kindly pull off and let them pass.
It annoys the stuffing out of me when people are deliberately rude while out on the road. It annoys me even more when I see that such a person is probably oblivious to their own rudeness because they're on the phone. If you can't multi-task, hang up the frickin' phone! It annoys me the most when I'm trying to get to work in the morning and can't because all the rude drivers on the road have behaved so stupidly that once again, there's a major wreck that's shut down the interstate. I have a theory that states like New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Texas, Ohio, Michigan and Minnesota have exported all their rude drivers to the Carolinas. Much as we appreciate y'all being generous to share with us, we'd sure appreciate if you took them back!