Happy Mondays: Respite
Hello,
1. So, after last week's melt down I went to see a doctor. He was pretty unhelpful on the whole. He was a locum who I think had been pulled out of retirement. He strongly reminded me of if someone had asked John Wilson's dad if he would mind terribly being a doctor for the day, as they were a bit short handed. But less compassionate.
Me: So, I'm very badly depressed.
Him: Ah! Right! Now. Dr R said to me this morning that if anyone came in with depression, I was to ask them these questions'
Attempts to find relevant thing on computer, failed and takes out his iphone. Asks me a series of questions, this test here, easily found in a number of forms of the internet. I point out that the flaw to this test is that it asks 'over the last two weeks, and the answers are very definite yeses to all the questions, every day for five days, but that two weeks ago I was fine. I get quite pissed off. He doesn't seem to get it, but offers me antidepressants, and my answer is a clear 'No fucking way'.
The good news is he signed me off sick for two weeks. Of course it's a bit odd, given that I'm self employed, but I feel that it's bought me permission to just have a wee bit of respite and be off sick and try and take care of myself.
I'm feeling much better than I was. My sleep patterns are still messed up, and I'm not liking going outside, but I'm more anxious than depressed now, mostly. Ari, as ever, has been a beacon of wonder and support.
2. Took advantage of the time off to sort out the study and the house generally. Tidying helps me with brain stuff, like I'm tidying my head, too. The study is now unrecognisable. We're taking down all the big shelves, and then we can finally paint it. We put a whole load of stuff in the attic (which has been a revelation to us both; there's so much space up there) and sorted a *lot* of things to give away.
3. Had an open house afternoon with a view to giving these away. Cat and Karen came over and took quite a lot of things, and we had tea and cake, which was lovely. Then Andy and Julie came and we had more tea and cake. It was nice and chilled. We got rid of a few things but will still have to drive the ridiculously short distance to the charity shop on account of the amount of stuff we have to give. We could sell it all, but: a) it would be a major hassle and b) we very rarely give money to charity, on account on not having any, so at least giving significant amounts of saleable items means we are giving to charity, kind of.
4. Made Easter eggs with the moulds my Mum gave me for my birthday. Lots of fun.
5. Had a lovely visit from Emily and the boys. They don't come to us very often, so it was dead nice. We managed to pull together enough things for Toby to play with, and he seemed happy. He's totally in love with Ari at the moment. I'm not jealous. Seth was dead contented too and ate a cuddly rabbit after I told him he couldn't eat my purse. Much more Easter-y.
6. Made dinner for Hazel and John and Gregor, which was really lovely. Hazel made Upside Down Split Knickers for pudding - a cross between a banana split and a Knickerbocker Glory, served in half an Easter Egg. Delicious. Then we drank gin and played 'Who's Naked?', which Hazel found in a charity shop and bought John for his birthday.
7. Tonight we have a friend of Ari's from uni coming for dinner with his wife. Ari is making pizza. I hope they're nice.
I'm back to work next week so plan to continue taking things easy this week as far as I can, and trying to get back on an even keel. Fingers crossed.
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1. So, after last week's melt down I went to see a doctor. He was pretty unhelpful on the whole. He was a locum who I think had been pulled out of retirement. He strongly reminded me of if someone had asked John Wilson's dad if he would mind terribly being a doctor for the day, as they were a bit short handed. But less compassionate.
Me: So, I'm very badly depressed.
Him: Ah! Right! Now. Dr R said to me this morning that if anyone came in with depression, I was to ask them these questions'
Attempts to find relevant thing on computer, failed and takes out his iphone. Asks me a series of questions, this test here, easily found in a number of forms of the internet. I point out that the flaw to this test is that it asks 'over the last two weeks, and the answers are very definite yeses to all the questions, every day for five days, but that two weeks ago I was fine. I get quite pissed off. He doesn't seem to get it, but offers me antidepressants, and my answer is a clear 'No fucking way'.
The good news is he signed me off sick for two weeks. Of course it's a bit odd, given that I'm self employed, but I feel that it's bought me permission to just have a wee bit of respite and be off sick and try and take care of myself.
I'm feeling much better than I was. My sleep patterns are still messed up, and I'm not liking going outside, but I'm more anxious than depressed now, mostly. Ari, as ever, has been a beacon of wonder and support.
2. Took advantage of the time off to sort out the study and the house generally. Tidying helps me with brain stuff, like I'm tidying my head, too. The study is now unrecognisable. We're taking down all the big shelves, and then we can finally paint it. We put a whole load of stuff in the attic (which has been a revelation to us both; there's so much space up there) and sorted a *lot* of things to give away.
3. Had an open house afternoon with a view to giving these away. Cat and Karen came over and took quite a lot of things, and we had tea and cake, which was lovely. Then Andy and Julie came and we had more tea and cake. It was nice and chilled. We got rid of a few things but will still have to drive the ridiculously short distance to the charity shop on account of the amount of stuff we have to give. We could sell it all, but: a) it would be a major hassle and b) we very rarely give money to charity, on account on not having any, so at least giving significant amounts of saleable items means we are giving to charity, kind of.
4. Made Easter eggs with the moulds my Mum gave me for my birthday. Lots of fun.
5. Had a lovely visit from Emily and the boys. They don't come to us very often, so it was dead nice. We managed to pull together enough things for Toby to play with, and he seemed happy. He's totally in love with Ari at the moment. I'm not jealous. Seth was dead contented too and ate a cuddly rabbit after I told him he couldn't eat my purse. Much more Easter-y.
6. Made dinner for Hazel and John and Gregor, which was really lovely. Hazel made Upside Down Split Knickers for pudding - a cross between a banana split and a Knickerbocker Glory, served in half an Easter Egg. Delicious. Then we drank gin and played 'Who's Naked?', which Hazel found in a charity shop and bought John for his birthday.
7. Tonight we have a friend of Ari's from uni coming for dinner with his wife. Ari is making pizza. I hope they're nice.
I'm back to work next week so plan to continue taking things easy this week as far as I can, and trying to get back on an even keel. Fingers crossed.
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