The End Of Time. Apparantly.
PART ONE
See, I know it's called The End of Time, but I also know that's just Rusty dicking around with us as usual, because I also also know of the existance of one Matt Smith.
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Yay! Wilf!! I hope this also means Donna.
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Hmm. I wonder if Wilf is going to meet up with the Doctor.
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JESUS CHRIST. Literally. The religious anvils are dropping early on in this one. I know I sound like a broken record, but: Dear RTD; Ten Is Not Jesus; Love Everyone. OH MY GOD THE STAINED-GLASS TARDIS EVEN HAS A HALO.
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Okay, who is this woman? I know her face, but has she been in DW before or am I just recognising her from something else?
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Oooh, she disappeared! Scary and intense. Hey, did you guys see Wilf on that episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks? He was awesome.
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YAYYYYY IT'S THE MASTER!!!!!
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Wait. Does that mean it's the Master's TARDIS? Hmmm.
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Credits. No Catherine Tate. Sadface.
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Oh, crap. Who let RTD write an entire episode without a babysitter co-writer?
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Hahaha. The Doctor got lei-ed.
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Wow. Literally lei-ed. High five, Ten!
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Those sunglasses were a mistake. Should have gone with the ones from The Girl In The Fireplace.
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Time for me to make a comment about how "I'd like John Simm to come to me every night, heh heh."
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Blah blah Oods blah blah exposition-cakes blah blah doom doom DOOM. Oh hey, it's Lucy! Hi, Lucy!
Oooh, she doesn't look too good. That pretty red dress was much more fetching.
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If the Master's body gets up off that funeral pyre, I am going to freak out, it's 4:16am here and I'm in a house right next to a graveyard.
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Oh, phew. Just the ring thing.
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OH, WHO IS THAT BROAD? Oh, you cheating cheater, RTD, having us think it was Lucy that picked it up.
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Doom doom doom, etc etc etc. Get on with it. We all know the Doctor's going to save the day but Ten will buy the farm and turn into a nine-year-old with no eyebrows. Just make sure it's entertaining, kthnx.
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Oooh. Evil people! And they're all blonde. Heh.
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Hey, I like Lucy! Be nice to her, Mrs Governer.
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OH MY GOD, IS THAT OLD CHICK ROSE? SHE'S PULLING ROSE'S APPEARING-IN-TELEVISION-SCREENS SCHTICK. GOD, PLEASE NO MORE ROSE.
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So this Governer chick is clearly evil, but hey, if I could bring John Simm back to life then I'd have a crack at it too. Dude is sexy.
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Speaking of sexy...oh hai, John Simm's naked chest.
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The secret books of Saxon? Potions of life? God, I hate it when RTD gets to write. In a second there'll be a gratuitious explosion.
...
Yep, there it is. Bang.
...
Wow, that is some cheap-ass CGI of the exploded building.
...
"It's the footage of Broadfell Prison the night it burnt down." NO. REALLY?? Show, don't tell, people. Christ.
...
Oh, so the black couple are evil too? Super. Who the hell are they, anyway?
...
Wait, why is there a Stargate in my Doctor Who?
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Ahahahahaha. Wilf the Secret Service agent? I approve.
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I recognise the old broad in red, too. The one who's clearly shagged the Doctor.
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Obama. Really? Way to date this, RTD. Loser.
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Man, John Simm gives good crazy.
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SHUT UP ABOUT OBAMA.
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More cheap CGI. Dear RTD: You don't need cheapass special effects when you have your camera pointed at John Simm and/or David Tennant.
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HEY. No being rude to Wilf!
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HAHAHA. Old gay dudes are funny.
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Actually, old people in general are funny.
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Talky talk, exposition blah, way to recycle the script from Partners In Crime, RTD. Oh, you think you're so subtle. Loser.
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If it's any consolation, Ten, this time it won't be a new man. It'll be a new teenager.
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DONNA!!! I love youuuu!!! Yay, you've got a hot boyfriend! Team Donna!!
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Blah blah, Ten-alone-emo-cakes.
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Christ, he's about to cry like a little girl. Suck it up and be a man, dude.
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Who is narrating this? I know that voice.
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Blah blah, Doctor-is-Jesus-cakes.
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Wait, is that narrator the father from Pompeii? And if it is, is it the same character or just the same actor?
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Mmmm. Doctor-Master fighting.
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Are they seriously going to team up? Honestly, Russell, post your fanfic on the internet like everyone else.
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This Master-can-kinda-fly thing is going to get old reaaaallllyyyy fast. And probably never explained. Sigh.
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Huh. Anyone know where I can get me one of those handy teams to kidnap John Simm for me?
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Yawn. The Doctor's been shot. It's 37 minutes through the first of two episodes. We all know that Ten's not going to die yet.
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I so cannot even tell you guys how little I care about this evil black dude.
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Hey, tied-up John Simm. I can work with that.
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Oh, this is gross. Are they really actually father and daughter? What father kidnaps a sex-thing for his daughter? Ewwwwww.
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SHUT UP ABOUT OBAMA. I know you're desperate to appear relevant, but honestly.
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Yeah, I don't care about this in-television-chick either. Blah blah talky talk. We all know his life can't be saved, because we all know who Matt Smith is.
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Wilf's packin' heat, yo.
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Covert, Doc. The big blue box in the middle of the street. Lazy! At least park it around the corner.
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Yay, Wilf's in the TARDIS!
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Now, I want to tie John Simm up too, so I completely understand the urge. But doing it like that is just unattractive.
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Fluctuations from the basement? He's totally got a cyber-girlfriend hidden down there. And/or is banging the blonde girl. Oh, they're aliens. Boring. Too many characters in this thing for my liking.
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Torchwood! Yay!
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Oh god, more talky talk exposition. SHOW, DON'T TELL.
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God, that father-daughter duo have a completely gross dynamic happening.
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"Don't want the Master finding the TARDIS." Clunky dialogue, much?
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The Master got the Stargate working!
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These cactus aliens are annoying.
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OH MY GOD THE MASTER'S GOING TO FIX GALLIFREY.
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Or try and kill everyone on Earth.
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And off the wall! Go, Ten!
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Yay, it's newsreader lady! I love how it's always the same actress.
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SHUT. UP. ABOUT. OBAMA.
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"That's because I locked it, idiot." Hahaha. I love the Master.
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Also, old black dude named Winston? So not original.
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Ah. He's going to take over Earth. Oh, please please please let all of them have his face!!
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OH MY GOD I DID NOT ACTUALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA.
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Oh my God, Donna! Noooo! No killing Donna!
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Okay, it is kind of funny that they all have his face. But also kind of stupid. Wow, I wonder how boring it got for John Simm to do his crazy-laughing-face in 137 different outfits.
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"And so it came to pass..." yeah yeah, we get it, Ten is Jesus.
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Hi, Pompeii dude. So, I guess he's a Timelord and they're just using the same actor?
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Aaand, credits. Next!
PART TWO
Let's get one thing straight, Russell. There had better not be any killing of Donna, mmkay? Good. Then let's begin.
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Opening credits. No co-writer for this one either, so I hope we're all in the mood for unneccessary explosions, and emo-ness, and overlong pontificating from minor characters that no one cares about.
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Timelords Council. Blah blah. Overlong pontificating from minor characters that no one cares about.
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So, I wonder if the Doctor will save the day?
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"I will not die!", hey? Why, hello there Voldemort. So now we have some kind of Doctor-Who-Stargate-Harry-Potter hybrid. Interesting.
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Two children of Gallifrey. Huh. I wonder who they could be.
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Boring boring boring talky talk. Seriously, five minutes wasted and all we've got is "Field trip to Earth, everybody!"
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Oooh, the Master tying the Doctor up. That's more like it.
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Are they really going to go with this multiple-Masters thing? Really? It's going to get sooo old.
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Hahaha. Wilf is so cool. "I'll just turn it off."
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Hang on. That one Master is wearing Eleven's bow tie.
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Oh, Donna. Don't make me cry!!
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DONNA. YOU ARE AWESOME.
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Oh, Ten, you so crafty!
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Get a room, you two.
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Blah blah backstory killing time recycling footage.
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And back to the knights of the boring table. Talk talk talk. Don't care.
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Also don't care about the prophecy.
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Wow, the Master is self-absorbed.
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Hahaha. "Just wheel him."
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Running running running. Boring. Guns guns guns. Deux ex machina-cakes.
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God, I hate these green aliens. I'm sure their bickering is meant to be endearing, but it's really just painful.
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Hey, it's Australia! Hi, Australia!
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Talk talk talk whiny green aliens arggg this is boring.
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Yeah. Because the audience is really going to buy that Ten is going to be stuck in space for the last 55 minutes of his last episode ever.
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REALLY? Every person on Earth concentrating on one thing to make something happen? Can one plagiarise oneself?
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Knights of the boring table. Yawn. Ooh, shiny diamond. But still, boring.
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MY GOD THERE IS A LOT OF FILLER IN THIS EPISODE.
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I cannot believe how badly paced this is.
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What? Why is there an entirely new plot element being introduced at this late stage? This diamond had better have it's roots in classic Doctor Who of which I'm not aware.
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It's white-suit-in-television lady, back with more cryptic nonsense. I still don't care.
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I suppose it's nice for Wilf to feel special, though.
...
Blah blah. We ALL KNOW that the Doctor isn't really going to die, he's just going to turn into Matt Smith.
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This is David Tennant's last ever episode! Why is he practicing for his Electrician's NVQ?
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Aww, that's sad from Wilf about his wife. And kind of dark about the 'in the graves' thing.
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Aaaand of course it couldn't last. More talkytalktalkboringTendoesn'tusegunsandisemowegetit.
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Awww, Wilf is making me saaaad.
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Oh, get off your high horse, Ten. Take the gun and make the old man happy. You don't have to use it.
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Oooh, that's slightly creepy - "Come home."
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I really hope that all this Gallifrey talk is fantastically meaningful to people who know about classic Who.
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Shut UP, green chick.
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Yay, we have movement of the spaceship! Maybe something will actually happen now!
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I wonder what Donna's been doing since we last heard from her. And what about Torchwood? We have room for all the filler in the world, but no time for even a throwaway line to explain why Jack's not sticking his (exceedingly attractive) nose into all this. Maybe he's a Master. Maybe he's still poncing round the galaxy having a sulk after Children of Earth.
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Did the Pompeii guy just say something about weeping angels? Oh my god he did, and those people are doing the covering-their-eyes thing. Oh my god, are we going to get weeping angels???
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Doctor going to go splat?
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Nope. No splat. No weeping angels either. Poor form.
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Time lords talky talk.
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Hey, the king timelord dude has a Risen Mitten. Recycling props, much?
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This makes no sense. How are they bringing back Gallifrey right next to Earth?
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Here we go with running and screaming and confusion. Sometimes I imagine that's what script meetings look like when RTD presents his latest crayon-scrawled 'script'.
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And yet another Ten-is-Jesus motif with Donna's mother clasping her hands as if in prayer while calling out for the Doctor. Give me strength.
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If this does all tie in with classic Who, then it is pretty cool.
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NO KILLING THE MASTER.
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Oh John Simm, you break my heart.
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See, for this scene to have more tension, shouldn't there have been an earlier scene where Wilf made a big song and dance about the gun only having one bullet left? 'Cause I'm just sitting here thinking, "Dude, kill them both if you're that bent out of shape about it."
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Is that time lady the in-television-dressed-in-white lady?
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Oh god, this is like watching Wimbledon.
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Yay! At least he shot something.
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Aw, the Doctor and the Master do love each other, really.
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Argg, stop messing with John Simm's face with the CGI-skeleton. He's one of the best actors of his generation, he doesn't need it.
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So has the Master gone with the rest of the Timelords?
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Alive, you say, Ten? Well, yes. But not for much longer.
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Ooh, who's that knocking four times??
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OMG. It's Wilf. Wilf, you Ten-killer, you!
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Oh dear, lots of radiation, that's not going to be good for the complextion. Gee, I wonder if Ten is going to sacrifice himself for the good of the Earth...just like...um, gosh, just like who? Oh yeah, like Jesus. Ugh.
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Oh, hang on. Is Wilf really going to die from being flooded with radiation? Hey, maybe he'll become a King of the Weevils like Owen!
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David Tennant, please stop breaking my heart.
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Nope, I was right the first time. I'm getting smacked over the head with a Jesus metaphor.
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He's moving. What?
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Maybe it'll be a slow-acting radiation sickness that'll get him.
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Donna, hooray!
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This so seems like the end. But no...20 more minutes to string this out.
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Oh hey, it's Martha and Mickey! That's cool! Hi, Martha and Mickey!
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WHAT?! Martha and Mickey! God, Martha, what is it with you and Rose's castoffs? And what about that poor hot doctor who snuck you through a London being governed by martial law that one time? Hussy!
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So...his reward is a threesome with Martha and Mickey?
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Oh. Right. I see. We're doing the Doctor's Greatest Hits again.
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JAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Oh no, he's totally going to take advantage of that drunk Adipose.
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So the Doctor is a pimp. Heh. Also, I hope Russell Tovey shows up in Torchwood, I like him.
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OH MY GOD. HI JESSICA HYNES. YOU ARE SO TOTALLY AWESOME AND SO WAS JOAN THAT I WILL FORGIVE THIS LAMEASS GREATEST HITS. Also, was that Simon Pegg?
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Is Sally Sparrow too much to hope for?
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Huh. Seems to be. Donna's wedding looks fabulous though. Good. She deserves it.
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Wilf, stop making me sad.
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Now, I adore Rose. But do they have to drag her out of retirement every five minutes?
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Wow, Billie Piper looks young. I want to know what moisturiser she uses.
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RTD's totally just Jossed himself, though, hasn't he? Because Rose didn't recognise Ten when he regenerated. And I know. I know that there's no reason that she would remember a 20-second conversation. But still.
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HA. HA. NO LOVE FOR GWEN. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, you gap-toothed bint. Not that I don't love Eve Myles. Eve Myles is totally cute and sweet, it's not her fault she got stuck with the most annoying, insipid character Russell T Davies ever came up with, and that's a big field.
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Ood singing. La la la.
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Better hurry up with that regenerating, Doc. Only 3 minutes left to ditch the eyebrows and turn into Matt Smith.
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"I don't want to go." Oh, that hurt my little heart.
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It's actually happening! Byeeeeee Ten! You're awesome! You're MY DOCTOR and always will be!
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Hey, it's Matt Smith. Hi, Matt Smith! Good luck, mate.
See, I know it's called The End of Time, but I also know that's just Rusty dicking around with us as usual, because I also also know of the existance of one Matt Smith.
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Yay! Wilf!! I hope this also means Donna.
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Hmm. I wonder if Wilf is going to meet up with the Doctor.
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JESUS CHRIST. Literally. The religious anvils are dropping early on in this one. I know I sound like a broken record, but: Dear RTD; Ten Is Not Jesus; Love Everyone. OH MY GOD THE STAINED-GLASS TARDIS EVEN HAS A HALO.
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Okay, who is this woman? I know her face, but has she been in DW before or am I just recognising her from something else?
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Oooh, she disappeared! Scary and intense. Hey, did you guys see Wilf on that episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks? He was awesome.
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YAYYYYY IT'S THE MASTER!!!!!
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Wait. Does that mean it's the Master's TARDIS? Hmmm.
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Credits. No Catherine Tate. Sadface.
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Oh, crap. Who let RTD write an entire episode without a babysitter co-writer?
...
Hahaha. The Doctor got lei-ed.
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Wow. Literally lei-ed. High five, Ten!
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Those sunglasses were a mistake. Should have gone with the ones from The Girl In The Fireplace.
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Time for me to make a comment about how "I'd like John Simm to come to me every night, heh heh."
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Blah blah Oods blah blah exposition-cakes blah blah doom doom DOOM. Oh hey, it's Lucy! Hi, Lucy!
Oooh, she doesn't look too good. That pretty red dress was much more fetching.
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If the Master's body gets up off that funeral pyre, I am going to freak out, it's 4:16am here and I'm in a house right next to a graveyard.
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Oh, phew. Just the ring thing.
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OH, WHO IS THAT BROAD? Oh, you cheating cheater, RTD, having us think it was Lucy that picked it up.
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Doom doom doom, etc etc etc. Get on with it. We all know the Doctor's going to save the day but Ten will buy the farm and turn into a nine-year-old with no eyebrows. Just make sure it's entertaining, kthnx.
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Oooh. Evil people! And they're all blonde. Heh.
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Hey, I like Lucy! Be nice to her, Mrs Governer.
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OH MY GOD, IS THAT OLD CHICK ROSE? SHE'S PULLING ROSE'S APPEARING-IN-TELEVISION-SCREENS SCHTICK. GOD, PLEASE NO MORE ROSE.
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So this Governer chick is clearly evil, but hey, if I could bring John Simm back to life then I'd have a crack at it too. Dude is sexy.
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Speaking of sexy...oh hai, John Simm's naked chest.
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The secret books of Saxon? Potions of life? God, I hate it when RTD gets to write. In a second there'll be a gratuitious explosion.
...
Yep, there it is. Bang.
...
Wow, that is some cheap-ass CGI of the exploded building.
...
"It's the footage of Broadfell Prison the night it burnt down." NO. REALLY?? Show, don't tell, people. Christ.
...
Oh, so the black couple are evil too? Super. Who the hell are they, anyway?
...
Wait, why is there a Stargate in my Doctor Who?
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Ahahahahaha. Wilf the Secret Service agent? I approve.
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I recognise the old broad in red, too. The one who's clearly shagged the Doctor.
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Obama. Really? Way to date this, RTD. Loser.
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Man, John Simm gives good crazy.
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SHUT UP ABOUT OBAMA.
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More cheap CGI. Dear RTD: You don't need cheapass special effects when you have your camera pointed at John Simm and/or David Tennant.
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HEY. No being rude to Wilf!
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HAHAHA. Old gay dudes are funny.
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Actually, old people in general are funny.
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Talky talk, exposition blah, way to recycle the script from Partners In Crime, RTD. Oh, you think you're so subtle. Loser.
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If it's any consolation, Ten, this time it won't be a new man. It'll be a new teenager.
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DONNA!!! I love youuuu!!! Yay, you've got a hot boyfriend! Team Donna!!
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Blah blah, Ten-alone-emo-cakes.
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Christ, he's about to cry like a little girl. Suck it up and be a man, dude.
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Who is narrating this? I know that voice.
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Blah blah, Doctor-is-Jesus-cakes.
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Wait, is that narrator the father from Pompeii? And if it is, is it the same character or just the same actor?
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Mmmm. Doctor-Master fighting.
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Are they seriously going to team up? Honestly, Russell, post your fanfic on the internet like everyone else.
...
This Master-can-kinda-fly thing is going to get old reaaaallllyyyy fast. And probably never explained. Sigh.
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Huh. Anyone know where I can get me one of those handy teams to kidnap John Simm for me?
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Yawn. The Doctor's been shot. It's 37 minutes through the first of two episodes. We all know that Ten's not going to die yet.
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I so cannot even tell you guys how little I care about this evil black dude.
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Hey, tied-up John Simm. I can work with that.
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Oh, this is gross. Are they really actually father and daughter? What father kidnaps a sex-thing for his daughter? Ewwwwww.
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SHUT UP ABOUT OBAMA. I know you're desperate to appear relevant, but honestly.
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Yeah, I don't care about this in-television-chick either. Blah blah talky talk. We all know his life can't be saved, because we all know who Matt Smith is.
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Wilf's packin' heat, yo.
...
Covert, Doc. The big blue box in the middle of the street. Lazy! At least park it around the corner.
...
Yay, Wilf's in the TARDIS!
...
Now, I want to tie John Simm up too, so I completely understand the urge. But doing it like that is just unattractive.
...
Fluctuations from the basement? He's totally got a cyber-girlfriend hidden down there. And/or is banging the blonde girl. Oh, they're aliens. Boring. Too many characters in this thing for my liking.
...
Torchwood! Yay!
...
Oh god, more talky talk exposition. SHOW, DON'T TELL.
...
God, that father-daughter duo have a completely gross dynamic happening.
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"Don't want the Master finding the TARDIS." Clunky dialogue, much?
...
The Master got the Stargate working!
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These cactus aliens are annoying.
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OH MY GOD THE MASTER'S GOING TO FIX GALLIFREY.
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Or try and kill everyone on Earth.
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And off the wall! Go, Ten!
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Yay, it's newsreader lady! I love how it's always the same actress.
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SHUT. UP. ABOUT. OBAMA.
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"That's because I locked it, idiot." Hahaha. I love the Master.
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Also, old black dude named Winston? So not original.
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Ah. He's going to take over Earth. Oh, please please please let all of them have his face!!
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OH MY GOD I DID NOT ACTUALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA.
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Oh my God, Donna! Noooo! No killing Donna!
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Okay, it is kind of funny that they all have his face. But also kind of stupid. Wow, I wonder how boring it got for John Simm to do his crazy-laughing-face in 137 different outfits.
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"And so it came to pass..." yeah yeah, we get it, Ten is Jesus.
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Hi, Pompeii dude. So, I guess he's a Timelord and they're just using the same actor?
...
Aaand, credits. Next!
PART TWO
Let's get one thing straight, Russell. There had better not be any killing of Donna, mmkay? Good. Then let's begin.
...
Opening credits. No co-writer for this one either, so I hope we're all in the mood for unneccessary explosions, and emo-ness, and overlong pontificating from minor characters that no one cares about.
...
Timelords Council. Blah blah. Overlong pontificating from minor characters that no one cares about.
...
So, I wonder if the Doctor will save the day?
...
"I will not die!", hey? Why, hello there Voldemort. So now we have some kind of Doctor-Who-Stargate-Harry-Potter hybrid. Interesting.
...
Two children of Gallifrey. Huh. I wonder who they could be.
...
Boring boring boring talky talk. Seriously, five minutes wasted and all we've got is "Field trip to Earth, everybody!"
...
Oooh, the Master tying the Doctor up. That's more like it.
...
Are they really going to go with this multiple-Masters thing? Really? It's going to get sooo old.
...
Hahaha. Wilf is so cool. "I'll just turn it off."
...
Hang on. That one Master is wearing Eleven's bow tie.
...
Oh, Donna. Don't make me cry!!
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DONNA. YOU ARE AWESOME.
...
Oh, Ten, you so crafty!
...
Get a room, you two.
...
Blah blah backstory killing time recycling footage.
...
And back to the knights of the boring table. Talk talk talk. Don't care.
...
Also don't care about the prophecy.
...
Wow, the Master is self-absorbed.
...
Hahaha. "Just wheel him."
...
Running running running. Boring. Guns guns guns. Deux ex machina-cakes.
...
God, I hate these green aliens. I'm sure their bickering is meant to be endearing, but it's really just painful.
...
Hey, it's Australia! Hi, Australia!
...
Talk talk talk whiny green aliens arggg this is boring.
...
Yeah. Because the audience is really going to buy that Ten is going to be stuck in space for the last 55 minutes of his last episode ever.
...
REALLY? Every person on Earth concentrating on one thing to make something happen? Can one plagiarise oneself?
...
Knights of the boring table. Yawn. Ooh, shiny diamond. But still, boring.
...
MY GOD THERE IS A LOT OF FILLER IN THIS EPISODE.
...
I cannot believe how badly paced this is.
...
What? Why is there an entirely new plot element being introduced at this late stage? This diamond had better have it's roots in classic Doctor Who of which I'm not aware.
...
It's white-suit-in-television lady, back with more cryptic nonsense. I still don't care.
...
I suppose it's nice for Wilf to feel special, though.
...
Blah blah. We ALL KNOW that the Doctor isn't really going to die, he's just going to turn into Matt Smith.
...
This is David Tennant's last ever episode! Why is he practicing for his Electrician's NVQ?
...
Aww, that's sad from Wilf about his wife. And kind of dark about the 'in the graves' thing.
...
Aaaand of course it couldn't last. More talkytalktalkboringTendoesn'tusegunsandisemowegetit.
...
Awww, Wilf is making me saaaad.
...
Oh, get off your high horse, Ten. Take the gun and make the old man happy. You don't have to use it.
...
Oooh, that's slightly creepy - "Come home."
...
I really hope that all this Gallifrey talk is fantastically meaningful to people who know about classic Who.
...
Shut UP, green chick.
...
Yay, we have movement of the spaceship! Maybe something will actually happen now!
...
I wonder what Donna's been doing since we last heard from her. And what about Torchwood? We have room for all the filler in the world, but no time for even a throwaway line to explain why Jack's not sticking his (exceedingly attractive) nose into all this. Maybe he's a Master. Maybe he's still poncing round the galaxy having a sulk after Children of Earth.
...
Did the Pompeii guy just say something about weeping angels? Oh my god he did, and those people are doing the covering-their-eyes thing. Oh my god, are we going to get weeping angels???
...
Doctor going to go splat?
...
Nope. No splat. No weeping angels either. Poor form.
...
Time lords talky talk.
...
Hey, the king timelord dude has a Risen Mitten. Recycling props, much?
...
This makes no sense. How are they bringing back Gallifrey right next to Earth?
...
Here we go with running and screaming and confusion. Sometimes I imagine that's what script meetings look like when RTD presents his latest crayon-scrawled 'script'.
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And yet another Ten-is-Jesus motif with Donna's mother clasping her hands as if in prayer while calling out for the Doctor. Give me strength.
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If this does all tie in with classic Who, then it is pretty cool.
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NO KILLING THE MASTER.
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Oh John Simm, you break my heart.
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See, for this scene to have more tension, shouldn't there have been an earlier scene where Wilf made a big song and dance about the gun only having one bullet left? 'Cause I'm just sitting here thinking, "Dude, kill them both if you're that bent out of shape about it."
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Is that time lady the in-television-dressed-in-white lady?
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Oh god, this is like watching Wimbledon.
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Yay! At least he shot something.
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Aw, the Doctor and the Master do love each other, really.
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Argg, stop messing with John Simm's face with the CGI-skeleton. He's one of the best actors of his generation, he doesn't need it.
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So has the Master gone with the rest of the Timelords?
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Alive, you say, Ten? Well, yes. But not for much longer.
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Ooh, who's that knocking four times??
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OMG. It's Wilf. Wilf, you Ten-killer, you!
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Oh dear, lots of radiation, that's not going to be good for the complextion. Gee, I wonder if Ten is going to sacrifice himself for the good of the Earth...just like...um, gosh, just like who? Oh yeah, like Jesus. Ugh.
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Oh, hang on. Is Wilf really going to die from being flooded with radiation? Hey, maybe he'll become a King of the Weevils like Owen!
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David Tennant, please stop breaking my heart.
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Nope, I was right the first time. I'm getting smacked over the head with a Jesus metaphor.
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He's moving. What?
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Maybe it'll be a slow-acting radiation sickness that'll get him.
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Donna, hooray!
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This so seems like the end. But no...20 more minutes to string this out.
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Oh hey, it's Martha and Mickey! That's cool! Hi, Martha and Mickey!
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WHAT?! Martha and Mickey! God, Martha, what is it with you and Rose's castoffs? And what about that poor hot doctor who snuck you through a London being governed by martial law that one time? Hussy!
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So...his reward is a threesome with Martha and Mickey?
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Oh. Right. I see. We're doing the Doctor's Greatest Hits again.
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JAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Oh no, he's totally going to take advantage of that drunk Adipose.
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So the Doctor is a pimp. Heh. Also, I hope Russell Tovey shows up in Torchwood, I like him.
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OH MY GOD. HI JESSICA HYNES. YOU ARE SO TOTALLY AWESOME AND SO WAS JOAN THAT I WILL FORGIVE THIS LAMEASS GREATEST HITS. Also, was that Simon Pegg?
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Is Sally Sparrow too much to hope for?
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Huh. Seems to be. Donna's wedding looks fabulous though. Good. She deserves it.
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Wilf, stop making me sad.
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Now, I adore Rose. But do they have to drag her out of retirement every five minutes?
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Wow, Billie Piper looks young. I want to know what moisturiser she uses.
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RTD's totally just Jossed himself, though, hasn't he? Because Rose didn't recognise Ten when he regenerated. And I know. I know that there's no reason that she would remember a 20-second conversation. But still.
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HA. HA. NO LOVE FOR GWEN. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, you gap-toothed bint. Not that I don't love Eve Myles. Eve Myles is totally cute and sweet, it's not her fault she got stuck with the most annoying, insipid character Russell T Davies ever came up with, and that's a big field.
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Ood singing. La la la.
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Better hurry up with that regenerating, Doc. Only 3 minutes left to ditch the eyebrows and turn into Matt Smith.
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"I don't want to go." Oh, that hurt my little heart.
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It's actually happening! Byeeeeee Ten! You're awesome! You're MY DOCTOR and always will be!
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Hey, it's Matt Smith. Hi, Matt Smith! Good luck, mate.