the sun that revolves around the earth
the sun that revolves around the earth
chanyeol/sehun - pg13
How exactly do you watch someone die in front of you?
for this prompt @ exopromptmeme
Sunlight flits through the beads curtain, forming shadows of various patterns on the wooden floor. Summer has made its presence exceptionally early this year, with cherry blossoms blooming ahead of their time and warm wind blowing everyone's hair into a sticky mess. It is as if summer has came to say goodbye too.
"Wake up," Sehun pushes his taller friend rudely in an attempt to wake him up. It has always been a difficult chore making Chanyeol leave the bed willingly in the morning; taking the combined efforts of all their roommates at times. But Jongin and Junmyeon have left for the weekend; wanting to spend more time with their families leaving the two of them at the dorm, whiling their life away.
"5 more minutes." Chanyeol grumbles under his breath before shoving his head further into the pillow.
"No." Sehun pulls at the blanket, pulling Chanyeol who is deeply entangled in the mess off the bed in the process.
"Oh Sehun," he glares at the other boy with no real heat, before turning it to a pout when he doesn't get a reaction. "It hurts." His face crumples; a tell-tale sign that he is going to start whining soon and Sehun has to quickly clear his throat to prevent laughter from escaping.
"Go and wash up now, or I'll abandon your lonely ass here."
The bus ride to Yongin is relatively quiet, with not much passengers travelling out of Seoul early in the morning. Chanyeol dozes off in his seat, not waking up even when his head hit against the window panes occasionally. Sehun moves slightly to the left, and pulls Chanyeol's head down, allowing it to rest on his shoulder.
There is music coming out of Chanyeol's earphones, and Sehun can roughly recognize the artists' voice as well as remember the underlying lyrics. Sehun has never been a big fan of music, feeling content in a world where conversations are the only source of noise, but it's different for Chanyeol. His love for music is probably secondary to his love towards his sister. He can never stay still for long without humming a song under his breath, and he will suffer from something he dubbed as the itchy fingers syndrome when he doesn't play a musical instrument for more than a week.
"We've reached." Sehun jerks his shoulder on purpose, making Chanyeol wake up with a start. "Stop drooling all over me."
Chanyeol wipes his bleary eyes, before touching the corners of his mouth to ensure that he did not drool. "You liar." He tries to tickle Sehun only for the other boy to escape down the aisle.
"Hurry up." Sehun hoists himself up with the pole and taps the card reader using his butt. "You're such a slowpoke."
Chanyeol imitates Sehun's action, only to fumble and miss his target. He looks around in embarrassment before quickly taking out his wallet and tapping his card.
Everland is just preparing to start operation when they reach the gate of the theme park with multiple workers bustling around the area doing last minute safety checks.
Chanyeol offers to pay for their tickets, taking out his wallet before Sehun can protest, not that Sehun will protest when people are offering to treat him.
Sehun has never been afraid of any theme park rides, having the ability to enjoy them to the maximum unlike Chanyeol who needs multiple coaxing before he will get on any of the scary roller coasters. Surprisingly, Chanyeol is the one who pulls him towards the T Express this time round.
"I really want to try this at least once," he explains, as the workers are checking the seat belts to ensure that they are properly fastened. He smiles, lips tightly pressed together as he grips the metal bars as a form of reassurance.
Sehun pulls his right hand off the bars lightly, and gives it a reassuring squeeze. "Just close your eyes and scream if you are really afraid. Don't you dare squeeze my hand or I'll make sure you die before your time." He threatens in bad taste, holding onto Chanyeol's hands even tighter when he feels the ride starting.
Chanyeol shouts loudly, in such a way that Sehun is convinced that the entire theme park can hear him and that he will be half-deaf by the time they exit the ride but nothing can dampen the smile on his face as he screams as loudly in response.
The result of that ride is not pretty, at least not for Chanyeol when he spends a couple of minutes in the toilet throwing up his non-existent breakfast.
"Are you okay?" Sehun asks even though it is pointless.
"Yeah," Chanyeol wipes his mouth with the back of his hands before showing his trademark toothy grin. "I just had to get used to it."
"Is your stomach okay?" Sehun touches his abdomen in worry.
The taller boy ruffles his hair, "Don't be a worry wart. Let's go for the next ride."
"Park Chanyeol! Don't touch me when you didn't wash your hand." Sehun hits the hand away, before making his escape from the washroom.
The theme park fills up rapidly in the afternoon, immense amount of people filling up the once empty space to gain the happiness that they seek. The duo moves on from ride to ride continuously, only stopping to catch their breath when Chanyeol's stomach start hurting or when they're too hungry to continue queuing.
It is too tacky for Sehun's taste, but he allows Chanyeol to pull him towards the ferris wheel when the sun is dipping into the horizon. They form a weird pair, when most of those in line are couples or families, but Chanyeol simply smiles at everyone who stares at them weirdly and confidently states the number of passengers for the carriage when it is their turn.
Sehun sighs in contentment when they are safely seated, pressing his entire being on the window in a childish manner.
"It's pretty isn't it?" Chanyeol asks amusedly, chuckling at Sehun's behaviour.
"You're prettier though," he continues, teasing the slightly younger boy, seeing a pretty flush spread across his cheeks.
"You," Sehun kicks his shin as a form retaliation, "should just go rot somewhere."
Chanyeol laughs again, seemingly having no other reaction to Sehun's words. "You'll be sad though."
"Yeah. I will." Sehun drops his head, using his fringe to hide his expression. That was the kind of banter the two of them share regularly, and Chanyeol has never expected such a response from Sehun, even though he should have expected it with the current situation.
"Hey," he moves over to the other side of the carriage, causing it to swing dangerously mid-air. "Don't sulk on such a day." He pushes Sehun's cheek in an attempt to evoke laughter.
It fails apparently, as the other boy makes no move to respond till their ride is nearing the end.
"Are you sure you don't want to tell the rest?" Sehun asks, picking at the threads of Chanyeol's hoodie. "They'll blame me when they find out in the future."
"They won't." Chanyeol pulls Sehun into a half-hug, "they'll blame me instead when they know the truth. I can imagine Junmyeon berating me for making our baby upset."
How exactly do you watch someone die in front of you?
March passes by rapidly, making the Everland date seems like something that has happened months ago. For those who don't know Chanyeol's condition, they'll suspect that it is fatigue which causes his constant dozing off in class since he's juggling basketball practise along with the numerous homework.
But for Sehun, it is simply a reminder that Chanyeol's condition is worsening and that he might not have his best friend around any longer.
"Stop whatever you're thinking about right now." Chanyeol hits him on the head lightly, before settling down on the floor next to Sehun.
Sehun scowls and attacks Chanyeol with fake fury. "Why are you here now? Don't you have to go for another checkup?"
"Nope," Chanyeol smiles cheekily. "The doctor said that I was doing fine last week, so I decided that I can miss this week's appointment to spend time with my favorite person."
He doesn't wait for Sehun to start berating him, and pulls the other boy down so that they are both lying on the track, coloring their cardigan with red stains that are not visible.
"Junmyeon has been asking me about you. He suspects that we are keeping something from him."
It is easy to hide secrets from Jongin who is oblivious to most of the things that are happening around him; it takes Baekhyun confessing in front of the entire school during assembly before he realizes the other boy has been dropping him hints for more than a year. Junmyeon on the other hand is different. He is naturally observant, being able to notice things even before he is told, and to be honest, Sehun is surprised that it took him this long to start suspecting.
"Just tell him that we are dating." Chanyeol jokes, snuggling into Sehun's side. "It's not like we aren't together every single moment."
"Are you dumb? Or have you been dropped on your head too much as a kid?" Sehun says, pushing at Chanyeol roughly, only to realize that Chanyeol has fallen asleep again, in the span of a couple of seconds.
Fear courses through Sehun's entire being rapidly as he gets another reminder of how little time there's left.
"Chanyeol," Sehun whispers when he feels the taller boy stirring next to him. "shall we complete try to complete our bucket list?"
"What do you want to do?" He asks Sehun sleepily. "I want to do whatever Sehun feels like doing."
Sehun has always been someone who is easily overwhelmed by emotion, but he has always been good at hiding his tears, pretending that dust is irritating his eyes, or that the wind is simply too strong at that moment. However, he cannot make any excuses as he lay staring at the person who has been spending half his life with. "Must you always be so stupid?"
"I'm not." Chanyeol wipes the tears away gently, "you're the only one other than my family whom I've spent more than half my life with. How is that stupid?"
"Chanyeol, I," he chokes as he tries to formulate his confession. He never thought that he will have to do it like this, with tears streaming down his face, and him looking like a complete mess, but Sehun is afraid. Afraid that he will not have the courage to do it again. Afraid that he will not have the chance to do it again.
"I know what you're going to say," Chanyeol sits the two of them up and pulls him into an embrace. "Please don't. I'm not someone who can be responsible for another person's future."
"I don't need you to be responsible for anything."
"But I want to. There's a reason why you're the person who's most precious to me other than my sister right?" He purposely mentions his elder sibling wanting to diffuse the depressing mood only to get louder cries in response.
"Don't cry." He ruffles Sehun's hair. messing it up in the way the younger hates the most and this time round, Sehun doesn't get his revenge by wiping the snot on Chanyeol's shirt.
If Sehun has to choose his favorite day in the year, he'll choose his birthday seeing how he can make unreasonable requests and yet most people will willingly give in to him. The dorm room is full with most of his friends crowding around his bed trying to give him a surprise or rather a scare the moment he wake up to commemorate the moment he turns eighteen.
Jongin is in a corner complaining how burdensome it is to have to wake up before eight on a weekend morning while Baekhyun is cheering him up by peppering kisses all over his faces. Thankfully, the disgusting scene is soon blocked by Kris who shuffles closer to the bed awkwardly to give Sehun an alpaca plushie.
He is thankful, feeling thoroughly relaxed for the first time in weeks after seeing the bloodied tissues Chanyeol hid in his pockets.
"Thank you," he smiles gratefully, letting his eyes roam around the room before landing on Chanyeol who is leaning against the bed post.
He chases the rest of them sans Chanyeol out of the room amidst complaints accusing him to be an ungrateful brat and how they hadn't had the chance to hit him.
"Where's my gift?" He asks, holding his hand out.
Chanyeol digs around his bed for a while, before handing him a neatly wrapped package.
"I don't want this." Sehun tosses it on the bed, noticing the wince on Chanyeol's face as it lands on the bed. "Go get changed and let's go on a date."
He pushes Chanyeol into the restroom not allowing him to say anything. "You've to listen to me today. I'm the birthday boy."
There's not much difference in dating Chanyeol or simply hanging out with him except for the hand that Sehun gets to hold. The date is extremely simple; nowhere as extravagant as some of the things they've done before, but Sehun is contented knowing that Chanyeol is less than an arm-length away for the entire day.
He points at random food and items for the entire day, claiming that he needs them to survive and forcing Chanyeol to buy it for him. The taller boy accedes to all his requests indulgently and allows Sehun to pile all the gifts on his legs in the movie theatre even though it'll obstruct his view of the movie.
Chanyeol falls asleep again during the movie; nothing that Sehun is a stranger to.His eye bags seem even more prominent under the flickering light, making his sickly pallor even more obvious despite the BB cream he piled on his face earlier this morning. The movie has incredibly good reviews, but Sehun cannot remember what happens after the first five minute, spending most of his time memorizing the contours of Chanyeol's face.
"Chanyeol," he gently shakes the sleeping boy when the ending credits start rolling, "let's go. It's ended already."
"Huh? How did I fall asleep again?" He asks, a wistful smile appearing on his face. "I'll treat you to bubble tea," he tries cheerfully when he sees the downcast expression on Sehun's face.
"I want the chocolate one." Sehun points at the menu.
The shop is empty with them being the sole customer since it is nearing midnight, and they quickly get their drinks.
"Did you have fun today?" Chanyeol asks on their way home.
Sehun nods, trying his best to slurp as many tapioca pearls as he can in one go.
The school gate is already locked when they arrive, missing the 2345 curfew by a couple of minutes, and they've to stealthily crawl on the floor in front of the guard post to enter the school.
It is an easy feat for Sehun though the same cannot be said for Chanyeol since he needs to make as little noise as possible while ensuring that he doesn't drop any of the things he is holding.
Chanyeol has difficulty breathing by the time they reach the dorms; the sprint earlier on taking a toll on him. It is uncharacteristic for a basketball player to have such low stamina, and his heart's constricts as he gets another reminder of Chanyeol's condition.
"Let's go in in five minutes time. I've some unfulfilled wishes." Sehun motions for Chanyeol to sit on the steps next to their room.
He inches closer to the other boy, entwining their sweaty palms together.
"This is my 19th birthday wish." Sehun leans closer to Chanyeol till he can feel their breath mixing together and gives him a hug. "I want to be able to hug you as a lover instead of a friend." He presses his head into the taller boy's neck, the pressure hurting his eyes more than it should as he tries to force his tears back.
"And this," he raises his head before pushing himself even closer. His first kiss is nothing like what he had heard from tv shows; there's too much desperation laced in his thoughts as he presses harder willing himself to imprint this moment in his memory. He releases the two of them after a few seconds, "is my 20th birthday wish. I'll get my 21st on my next birthday." He breaks into a broken smile, tears escaping from their confinements and threatening to overflow any time soon.
"You're the dumbest kid I've ever met, Oh Sehun." Chanyeol tells him, the same pain Sehun is feeling reflected in his gaze.
"Can I have a wish?" Chanyeol asks later that night when they're tucked in their bed.
"Hmm," Sehun hums non-committally.
"Sing me a song?" He requests, "Twinkle twinkle little stars will do too."
"Wait till it's your birthday, you dumbass."
Chanyeol's condition worsen after that day, and it finally reaches the point where that he has to be hospitalized and pulled out of school. Sehun receives the news when he is in the middle of his English class, and despite the threats from his teacher, he finds himself leaving school to be by his best friend's side.
"What are you doing here?" Chanyeol asks weakly when he slips into the ward, the energy from yesterday notwithstanding.
"Accompanying someone who's stupid enough to land himself in the hospital." Sehun pouts, "Junmyeon and Jongin will kill you for leaving so suddenly."
"You'll have to protect me then." He jokes, earning a painless punch from Sehun.
Chanyeol spends the next few days drifting in and out of sleep with his medication dosage being stronger every time Sehun visits.
"How are you feeling today?" Sehun asks, leaving his bag on the sofa.
"Tired and nauseous." There's little color left on his face as he mumbles those words with difficulty.
"Go to sleep then, I'll be here." Sehun strokes Chanyeol's hands soothingly, watching the other boy flutter his eyes shut as he drifts off to sleep.
He squeezes into the tiny space on Chanyeol's bed when he's sure that Chanyeol is completely asleep, and that no nurses will barge into the room suddenly.
"I'll only sing this one time," he whispers, "so you better hear it."
"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine." Sehun is sure that his singing is horrible, and he must be so out of tune that Chanyeol will laugh at him if he's awake. "You make me happy, when skies are gray. You never know dear, how much I love you." Singing alone is difficult for Sehun who doesn't like music, but having to sing when all he wants to do is cry and curl up in Chanyeol's embrace is making everything ten times more difficult.
He kisses the corner of Chanyeol's lips as he mutters the last line, "Please don't take my sunshine away."
Junmyeon and Jongin eventually finds out what happened to Chanyeol, and their reaction is like what Chanyeol expected. Instead of blaming Sehun for hiding such a big secret from them, they marched to the hospital and berate Chanyeol for bullying Sehun into lying to them.
Chanyeol laughs, and sends Sehun a look that says I told you so before begging his other two friends to forgive him. If he neglects the machines attached to Chanyeol, and the antiseptic that permeates the air, it is easy to pretend; pretend that everything is still okay, and that they are at their dorm, making a ridiculous amount of noise as usual.
Sehun isn't there when Chanyeol left for good, only receiving a letter passed to him by Chanyeol's parents. His penmanship is worse than usual, the words being slanted weirdly as he musters just enough strength to put his thoughts into words. They are everything Sehun expects of Chanyeol, nagging at him to eat, asking him to cry for only 2 days, and telling him how much he loves him and will always love him.
It is not fair that Chanyeol gets to say it so easily and manage to fulfil it when Sehun will never get the opportunity to voice it out again. And the fact that he has never fulfilled Chanyeol's wish for him.
"You know," Yura turns to him when they are packing up Chanyeol's room together. "That kid really likes you a lot. He is talking about you even in his very last moments, and mum got so jealous of you."
She hands him an album. "Keep this. We've replicated it so that you will have memories of him too. And he heard your song."
"Even though I was really sleepy, somehow I can hear him, and my heart can remember all of it. Those are his exact words, so don't worry about disappointing him. You've always been the one who made him real happy even when you all were younger." She ruffles his hair affectionately, wiping the tears off his face.
How do you learn to forget a person?
Sehun learns that you can never forget a person.
He finds Chanyeol's birthday gift, the one that he's forgotten about in the past few weeks lying in one corner of his bed. As expected of Chanyeol, it is a playlist of ridiculously cheesy birthday greetings for Sehun, for all the way till he is 80. He doesn't cry anymore, not after hearing it for the fifth time in two weeks, but instead he uses it as his permanent playlist; listening to it on a loop as he revisits all the places they've been to.
It is difficult when there's no one doing stupid stuff beside him, he feels slightly cold despite summer being in full season without an over-sized human clinging onto him 24/7, and his heart feels empty with a large chunk of it disappearing with Chanyeol.
But it is easy, as long as he remembers.
He can imagine the way Chanyeol will laugh when he tries to run after butterflies, he remembers the sullen expression on Chanyeol's face when he is unable to touch a cat due to his allergies, and he remembers how Chanyeol always look at him with too much affection.
It will get easier eventually, Sehun believes. When you realize that someone's existence is more than physical, they will exist as long as they're still in your memories.
A/N: OP, hope this is what you were looking for. Thank you for this prompt since this is the first thing I've completed in a while
Even though I wanted to let Chanhun have a proper goodbye, but after giving it some thought, I felt that this would be the best?
Will be back to fix the grammar issues after my finals tomorrow, and sorry for posting it before proof reading it ten times cause I know I'll just lock it and hide it away if I don't post it now.
Might or might not have been inspired by Nell's "Four times around the sun". I was just listening to it a lot when I was writing