Academic drama

[ljlee]

The last two weeks made ripples in water that had lain stagnant for years. It was mainly academic drama, but it got me thinking about my fiction writing as well.

You know those stories where you return exactly where you started but the choices made and growth experienced up to that point make all the difference? Planescape: Torment is a

Comments

[resonant]

sounds like you are getting a lot of personal development out of this. which is one of the goals.

[ljlee]

I really am, it's exciting!

[loopy777]

I'm glad it turned out to be a positive experience, and that you're getting the support you need. I'm like you, content to get to the point where I can comfortably punch a meal ticket, but the problem with having skill and the capacity to work hard is that Potential is always dangling in front of us like a stick.

I hope things pick up with your novel. Think of it as a complex metal shape that needs to be beaten into the proper smooth form one little hammer strike at a time.

[ljlee]

Yup, it's a hard not to be dragged into a more hectic life than you're comfortable with, living in a society that demands constant work and accomplishment.

That's a lovely analogy. Sometimes it feels like I have a mountain-sized lump of ore, but I'll keep hammering away!

[lb_lee]

Good luck breaking in the new shrink!

I think there really is something to be said for trying and failing, when it comes to creative writing. I always use Infinity Smashed as my example, we pounded through four books from 2000-2003, promptly axed two of them, realized that the remaining two were too much a clusterfuck to use, quit in disgust... and rebooted the thing in 2010, 2011, and actually figured out a way to make it work.

Sometimes, you just have to get used to failing before you find something good in it.

That said, I have the same issues you do regarding achievement and satisfying authority figures. Oddly, art has given me a way out of it; it seems to be one of the few things I can have more realistic expectations of, without overinvesting my self-worth in it.

--Rogan

[ljlee]

I went this morning, and it was an interesting experience. I liked the guy well enough. He heard some of my history, and explained he prefers to try medication first because sometimes problems can be resolved more efficiently that way. He started me off on a low dose of anxiety meds. I was a little disappointed, more for literary than scientific ones because I've read so many therapy narratives. We'll see how it goes, and if neither meds or talk therapy works out I can always try someone else. I get some peace of mind just by doing something.

Fiction is an area that leaves me surprisngly creative and willing to risk failure, too. For me that effect only seems to apply to fanfic, though; when it comes to orig fic I freeze up all over again. It's frustrating.

[lb_lee]

Fingers crossed; hope the meds help! And yeah, in my opinion, once you do SOMETHING, even if it's wrong, it helps.

Huh, interesting! Fanfic is WAY harder for me. I've never gotten why people say it's easy; so much RESEARCH, agh.

--Rogan