Comments | llandryn: Oh, and also...

llandryn

Oh, and also...

Jul 04, 2006 14:52

She doesn't know how to use an ATM machine or a cell phone. She literally--yes, literally--doesn't know how to point-and-click with a mouse; she's terrified of the computer. She wants to know what the weather is back home, so I've got my weatherbug up, set for Prescott, AZ. When the screen is dark all she has to do is jiggle the mouse to activate ( Read more... )

Comments 12

yvonnenavarro July 4 2006, 19:43:33 UTC

Ow. I totally sympathize. I have an 89 year old 3rd cousin living by herself in an apt. in Chicago. For literally years I've listened to the same complaints every day when I call her -- "I hate this place, I have to move, it's too expensive, I hate everyone in the building." It never stops, but she'll never DO anything about it. I've said repeatedly to come here, Wes and I will handle EVERYthing to do with the move and get her situated here where I can take care of her, including her own smaller and easier to care-for place. The response is always "I'll think about it." Over the past year she has lost a lot of mental faculty rather rapidly; now she's bouncing checks because she no longer understands how a checking account works (not that she ever really did), thinks she has the same amount of money she had 25 years ago and that someone stole it. My 2nd cousin drove up from Kentucky about a month ago and straightened out a lot of stuff for her, and now she insists he stole from her and messed everything up. (He didn't; if she would ( ... )

yvonnenavarro July 5 2006, 12:26:57 UTC

Wow, that sounds awful. At least my mother isn't angry about anything, she's pleasant all the time-- she's just driving me nuts. This business about the computer has been going on for years. She treats a computer like a venomous snake. When I was in Arizona in April/May, I used my laptop a lot. I communicated with relatives who have email, and I communicated with the newspaper regarding the obituary over email. Every time I told my mother I'd send someone email, she asked me if it cost anything. Finally even my brother, who stayed out of it for the most part, couldn't take it any longer, and we answered in unison: no, mom, it doesn't cost anything to send email. Same thing with the cell phones: because of the plans we have, we have plenty of minutes for long distance calls, so there's no reason to use the phone in my mother's house for long distance calls. Try explaining that to her. sheesh.

By the way, I love that icon.

llandryn July 6 2006, 16:58:57 UTC

Ah--I didn't log on before posting this comment and it was screened. Same goes for my reply to the earlier post.

yvonnenavarro July 7 2006, 03:24:33 UTC

I don't think the very elderly, or the completely uncomputerized (there's a thought, eh?) understand the concept of "free" or "online time." Perhaps try telling her that it costs you $19.95 a month (or whatever) and for that amount you can send unlimited emails. And the cell phone costs $xx.xx per month and for that you get unlimited phone calls. She might be able to more easily wrap her head around that.

Thread 9

cardigirl July 7 2006, 02:11:08 UTC

I don't know whether to use this icon...

cardigirl July 7 2006, 02:15:08 UTC

...or this one!

It sounds like absolute hell. The situation can't possibly be making her happy -- she used to have opinions and the ability to decide, right? Even if it went mostly to deference to your dad? Playing psychoanalyst, it sounds like she's afraid (at some level) that if she isn't perfectly accomodating, that you'll desert/abandon her and since she has no husband, then she'll have nothing at all.

The whole computer thing, though: that's clearly a different issue.

I'm sorry I haven't been here to read and respond more; it's been kinda crazy leading up to school (and I take off in the morning.) Regardless... ***hugs***

llandryn July 11 2006, 18:04:49 UTC

Uh--didn't I respond to this already? hunh. Oh well...

Yes, she used to have opinions, and she ordered whatever she wanted at restaurants. I think she's suffering from PTSD, without realizing it. What she went through with my dad over the past four years was unbelievable. He had a quintuple bypass, then developed pneumonia and ulcers post-op. His multiple meds made him nauseous and he threw up a lot, losing 20 pounds along with all his strength and balance. He fell multiple times and she had to call a neighbor to help get him on his feet. She was hyper-vigilant, which is very stressful.