[one shot] running circles
Title: Running Circles
Pairings: Yunho/Junsu
Rating: R ; rape
Genre: angst
A/N: for zaiho and machine-of-july ♥
And I taste no romance, even through your deep kisses.
I can only blame time that…we’ve both been running circles…only to loose our tracks.
You sit silently in the doctor’s office. A nervous chill creeps up your spine making you shiver.
“Mr. Kim, this is a serious issue. It’s not to be taken lightly, please reconsider as soon as possible!” he tells you, adjusting his glasses while studying your test results. The wrinkles on his forehead thicken as he frowns at you.
Brain tumor, huh? Just those two words alone are enough to scare the living daylights out of you. Surprisingly, you are calm as you process everything the doctor tells you. You nod at him and tell him not to worry for you. You even tell your frightened mother that you’re going to be okay. She waits for you and sobs uncontrollably.
“Suyah, we need to get you that surgery…”
`
Yunho comes to you drunk. His hair wet from walking in the rain too late at night. Outside the beads of water still beat against the ground, voicing nothing but hollow sadness amidst the cold, dark air. It feels like crying alone, so sad it’s unbearable.
“Yu…Yunho,” the words come out uneven, “What are you doing here?”
But then he gives you no replies, just moves his wet body towards yours and greets your open mouth in a heated kiss. You can’t help but pursue his lips as he initiates the kiss, bruising yours in the process.
Then he pulls back and stares at you, stoic eyes and red lips. His wet hair drips with water, strands messily thread over his sharp face. Suddenly, you forget your question and rub your hands against his chest. A bleeding heart beats underneath this warm skin. Why babe? You’re always hurting yourself.
After that, he runs to you; vulnerable and drowning deep in misery. You would always kiss him better, give him everything he wants, maybe even more than he can take (to keep and treasure). Every time he “sleeps over” you can’t resist but pull him into your arms.
A fragile thing he is when he’s in pain. Perhaps you’re being selfish, taking advantage of him at such a time. But you can’t lie to yourself, you want him as bad as you need this lie.
“You’ve got to stop this,” you demand at him, “Or I will call her and end this for you.”
“No, Junsuyah,” Yunho brings you into his arms, roughly embracing you, not like how he would hug her so tenderly. “Please, don’t.”
`
He’s everything you want but can never have. His words get you flustered, a deep shade of red and heat dashes on your skin. But you can never tell him, because you can’t even explain it yourself. What exactly do you want? He asks the same question, but you’ve got no answer. And sometimes, you think you’re too obsessed with him that it scares the hell out of you.
“Stay the hell away from me,” he warns, hand tightly gripping your forearms. Bony fingers dig deep into your flesh with more than enough pressure to make you squeal, but you don’t. Instead you keep it cool, eyes mocking him, because you know when you are sarcastic like this, Yunho turns into a complete fool.
You tuck a few fingers under his chin, gentle as can be and ask in a soothing voice, “But why? I like you.” It comes out sincere, each word still lingering between the gaps of your bodies.
“Don’t!” Yunho almost shouts as he bangs you against the wall, your hand falling to its previous place, “Don’t say such a thing. This is stupid, I don’t want to play your games.”
“What games? I’ve always been honest with my feelings,” for a second you felt angry, hurt. Yunho is too much, you gritted your teeth and if possible penetrate your gaze deeper into his baffled eyes.
“Shut up! I hate fags like you,” he blurted out. Yunho is irritated, fuming with annoyance and confusion. Honey brown eyes jolted here and there but never at you until he pushes you away. So hard that it got you stumbling to the ground.
“Why can’t it be a fag like me?” You shout at him, throat dabs with a hoarse sorrow, “Why Yunho? Because you’re afraid of your true feelings? Because you’re afraid of what society makes of you. Or is it because you really love Ri In?”
“Stay out of this Junsu,” Yunho’s voice lowers, head shaking, “Did you really think it was okay to tell Ri In everything we’ve done?”
Your heart is beating wildly, pumping crazy and threatening to jump out of your throat, “I did it because I care for you.”
“I don’t need it, I don’t need it from you.”
`
It’s past midnight as you sit alone on the couch. Is it possible you’re still waiting for him? You laugh, particularly at yourself. As if he’ll ever step into your house, ever again. Not after what you’ve done. Not after you called his beloved girlfriend to fill her in at what she’s been missing.
It was reckless, you admit. Seriously, it took you too much anger and alcohol to make the call. And it’s probably the one thing that’s driving him back to her. Maybe he’s comforting her right now. Soothing that woman with sweet nothings and sugar coated kisses, while you sit here and think about it; wishing it were you instead.
At ten to two, Yunho knocks impatiently at your door and barges in roughly. A tight fist flew to your face and you tumble back from the impact. The pain and heat pounds into your head, making you dizzy.
“She tried to kill herself!” he shouts, standing above you as you gather your senses back. You taste blood at the base of your throat while disjointed thoughts swerve through your mind. A tongue pushes itself out to lick at the warm blood pooling your lower lips.
Bending down, Yunho glares at it before grabbing your hair and pushes your face to his, kissing you hard it stings, the blood salty between your mouths. You push at him, however he’s already towering over you. His larger body overpowers yours, “You want this don’t you?” he asks dryly and furious, “I’ll give it to you, why do you have to pretend?” his hands keeping you down, flat against the ground while he bites your neck.
Hot tears pool into your vision, then slides down slowly, “Let me go, you’re fucking crazy!” You struggle, arms and legs thrashing about.
“Am I? Or you’re the insane one. You’ve worked so hard for this and now you don’t want it?” His words make you want to slap him across the face, for treating you like a whore. At times like this you wish he’d give you pity instead, though you really hate both.
Your body goes limp; he fucks you hard and fast, out of rage and possibly out of vengeance. It didn’t matter anymore, because all you can do now is lay there and take it. Not wanting to fight him off, no desire to chase him away, not the man you love.
He hisses in pleasure and you gasp in pain, hands cupping your mouth to prevent the loud cries from escaping. He fills you up then leaves you wanting for more. The slick friction draws more tears to your eyes, yet he continues pounding. It ripples throughout your body every time he hits your prostate until you finally come, clenching around him and waiting for him to loose it also.
He does, nearly seconds later and abandons you quickly to lay on his back. Jagged breaths lengthened, greedy for air. You hear your heart racing, trying to catch up with his. Then you crawl on weak knees, body still trembling slightly, as you inch away from him.
“I don’t regret this Yunho. I don’t.”
Yunho closes his eyes, serenity casts over the room. You hear your own heart break, a slow and tormenting pain burns at your chest. Really, how can you love a man like him? You hug yourself and watch him continue to slouch lifelessly. Does Yunho know the effect he has on you? A simple relationship that has push you so far until you can’t even figure out yourself.
`
Yunho clears his throat. The warm cup of coffee nestles between your hands. The room fills with its dark, bitter aroma as he picks up his voice, “She’s going to be okay.”
You feel yourself nodding lightly, eyes lost inside the black content before you. “Hyung,” you finally say, your voice small and unsure, “Go see her, I’m going to be okay.” You don’t dare face him because you know just once look at those eyes and your tears will betray you.
Silence. Two minutes seem to flash by and he sets his own mug down, “I…I’m sorry, for everything.” And you watch him leave; loneliness had never captured you better.
`
Two weeks flutter by quickly, no calls or messages from him. With too many things on your mind you stumble into the empty apartment, drunk. You think this is how Yunho must have felt every time he comes to you.
Breathing harshly, you hear your own heart and brains pulsing into your ears. Your head hurts, hurts more than usual and you feel like throwing up. You steadily slump down against the wall, lids falling.
“Junsu!” a familiar voice calls, distant but closing in. “Junsu!” you make out Yunho’s worried expression as he shakes you. “What the hell are you doing? Why didn’t you tell me?”
After hearing those words, your heart stops.
“Fucking idiot!” he screams, fingers tightening around your arms, he continues to shake you. And that’s when you know, Yunho found out.
Weakly, you blink your tears away and smile. He found out, he knows, he knows, dammit.
“Let’s get you to a hospital!” he utters impatiently, ready to pick you up by the looks of it. But you swing your arms away, struggling out of his grip.
“It’s too late, hyung,” you grit your teeth and reply.
“How do you know?” he argues, kneeling in front as if begging, “There’s always therapy!”
You shake your head, lids falling, “I don’t want to.”
“Stop being stubborn, Junsu!”
You lace your fingers into his hair and pull his face closer. He lets you, eyes meeting yours. You want to remember, so bad. If anything, you want to always see this face; engrave it forever into your mind.
You cry. For a long long time you’ve wanted to cry. Who said you weren’t scared? Who said you can control these feelings so well?
He’s crying too. Tears slipping as he continues to gaze into your eyes. You can tell, he’s trying to hold back but Yunho isn’t doing so well either. “Gods, Junsu,” he sobs, “I-hyung’s been a horrible person,” his hands moves to cup your face.
Leaning in, he presses a kiss onto your lips, wet with tears. You finally smile, tasting salt at the tip of your tongue and you can’t tell if you’re tasting your tears or his.
Why can’t your story be an ‘I love you, you love me, happy ending fairytale’?
`
ree, i hope this was okay :X ilu!
& jewell i will work on smut next <3
Pairings: Yunho/Junsu
Rating: R ; rape
Genre: angst
A/N: for zaiho and machine-of-july ♥
And I taste no romance, even through your deep kisses.
I can only blame time that…we’ve both been running circles…only to loose our tracks.
You sit silently in the doctor’s office. A nervous chill creeps up your spine making you shiver.
“Mr. Kim, this is a serious issue. It’s not to be taken lightly, please reconsider as soon as possible!” he tells you, adjusting his glasses while studying your test results. The wrinkles on his forehead thicken as he frowns at you.
Brain tumor, huh? Just those two words alone are enough to scare the living daylights out of you. Surprisingly, you are calm as you process everything the doctor tells you. You nod at him and tell him not to worry for you. You even tell your frightened mother that you’re going to be okay. She waits for you and sobs uncontrollably.
“Suyah, we need to get you that surgery…”
`
Yunho comes to you drunk. His hair wet from walking in the rain too late at night. Outside the beads of water still beat against the ground, voicing nothing but hollow sadness amidst the cold, dark air. It feels like crying alone, so sad it’s unbearable.
“Yu…Yunho,” the words come out uneven, “What are you doing here?”
But then he gives you no replies, just moves his wet body towards yours and greets your open mouth in a heated kiss. You can’t help but pursue his lips as he initiates the kiss, bruising yours in the process.
Then he pulls back and stares at you, stoic eyes and red lips. His wet hair drips with water, strands messily thread over his sharp face. Suddenly, you forget your question and rub your hands against his chest. A bleeding heart beats underneath this warm skin. Why babe? You’re always hurting yourself.
After that, he runs to you; vulnerable and drowning deep in misery. You would always kiss him better, give him everything he wants, maybe even more than he can take (to keep and treasure). Every time he “sleeps over” you can’t resist but pull him into your arms.
A fragile thing he is when he’s in pain. Perhaps you’re being selfish, taking advantage of him at such a time. But you can’t lie to yourself, you want him as bad as you need this lie.
“You’ve got to stop this,” you demand at him, “Or I will call her and end this for you.”
“No, Junsuyah,” Yunho brings you into his arms, roughly embracing you, not like how he would hug her so tenderly. “Please, don’t.”
`
He’s everything you want but can never have. His words get you flustered, a deep shade of red and heat dashes on your skin. But you can never tell him, because you can’t even explain it yourself. What exactly do you want? He asks the same question, but you’ve got no answer. And sometimes, you think you’re too obsessed with him that it scares the hell out of you.
“Stay the hell away from me,” he warns, hand tightly gripping your forearms. Bony fingers dig deep into your flesh with more than enough pressure to make you squeal, but you don’t. Instead you keep it cool, eyes mocking him, because you know when you are sarcastic like this, Yunho turns into a complete fool.
You tuck a few fingers under his chin, gentle as can be and ask in a soothing voice, “But why? I like you.” It comes out sincere, each word still lingering between the gaps of your bodies.
“Don’t!” Yunho almost shouts as he bangs you against the wall, your hand falling to its previous place, “Don’t say such a thing. This is stupid, I don’t want to play your games.”
“What games? I’ve always been honest with my feelings,” for a second you felt angry, hurt. Yunho is too much, you gritted your teeth and if possible penetrate your gaze deeper into his baffled eyes.
“Shut up! I hate fags like you,” he blurted out. Yunho is irritated, fuming with annoyance and confusion. Honey brown eyes jolted here and there but never at you until he pushes you away. So hard that it got you stumbling to the ground.
“Why can’t it be a fag like me?” You shout at him, throat dabs with a hoarse sorrow, “Why Yunho? Because you’re afraid of your true feelings? Because you’re afraid of what society makes of you. Or is it because you really love Ri In?”
“Stay out of this Junsu,” Yunho’s voice lowers, head shaking, “Did you really think it was okay to tell Ri In everything we’ve done?”
Your heart is beating wildly, pumping crazy and threatening to jump out of your throat, “I did it because I care for you.”
“I don’t need it, I don’t need it from you.”
`
It’s past midnight as you sit alone on the couch. Is it possible you’re still waiting for him? You laugh, particularly at yourself. As if he’ll ever step into your house, ever again. Not after what you’ve done. Not after you called his beloved girlfriend to fill her in at what she’s been missing.
It was reckless, you admit. Seriously, it took you too much anger and alcohol to make the call. And it’s probably the one thing that’s driving him back to her. Maybe he’s comforting her right now. Soothing that woman with sweet nothings and sugar coated kisses, while you sit here and think about it; wishing it were you instead.
At ten to two, Yunho knocks impatiently at your door and barges in roughly. A tight fist flew to your face and you tumble back from the impact. The pain and heat pounds into your head, making you dizzy.
“She tried to kill herself!” he shouts, standing above you as you gather your senses back. You taste blood at the base of your throat while disjointed thoughts swerve through your mind. A tongue pushes itself out to lick at the warm blood pooling your lower lips.
Bending down, Yunho glares at it before grabbing your hair and pushes your face to his, kissing you hard it stings, the blood salty between your mouths. You push at him, however he’s already towering over you. His larger body overpowers yours, “You want this don’t you?” he asks dryly and furious, “I’ll give it to you, why do you have to pretend?” his hands keeping you down, flat against the ground while he bites your neck.
Hot tears pool into your vision, then slides down slowly, “Let me go, you’re fucking crazy!” You struggle, arms and legs thrashing about.
“Am I? Or you’re the insane one. You’ve worked so hard for this and now you don’t want it?” His words make you want to slap him across the face, for treating you like a whore. At times like this you wish he’d give you pity instead, though you really hate both.
Your body goes limp; he fucks you hard and fast, out of rage and possibly out of vengeance. It didn’t matter anymore, because all you can do now is lay there and take it. Not wanting to fight him off, no desire to chase him away, not the man you love.
He hisses in pleasure and you gasp in pain, hands cupping your mouth to prevent the loud cries from escaping. He fills you up then leaves you wanting for more. The slick friction draws more tears to your eyes, yet he continues pounding. It ripples throughout your body every time he hits your prostate until you finally come, clenching around him and waiting for him to loose it also.
He does, nearly seconds later and abandons you quickly to lay on his back. Jagged breaths lengthened, greedy for air. You hear your heart racing, trying to catch up with his. Then you crawl on weak knees, body still trembling slightly, as you inch away from him.
“I don’t regret this Yunho. I don’t.”
Yunho closes his eyes, serenity casts over the room. You hear your own heart break, a slow and tormenting pain burns at your chest. Really, how can you love a man like him? You hug yourself and watch him continue to slouch lifelessly. Does Yunho know the effect he has on you? A simple relationship that has push you so far until you can’t even figure out yourself.
`
Yunho clears his throat. The warm cup of coffee nestles between your hands. The room fills with its dark, bitter aroma as he picks up his voice, “She’s going to be okay.”
You feel yourself nodding lightly, eyes lost inside the black content before you. “Hyung,” you finally say, your voice small and unsure, “Go see her, I’m going to be okay.” You don’t dare face him because you know just once look at those eyes and your tears will betray you.
Silence. Two minutes seem to flash by and he sets his own mug down, “I…I’m sorry, for everything.” And you watch him leave; loneliness had never captured you better.
`
Two weeks flutter by quickly, no calls or messages from him. With too many things on your mind you stumble into the empty apartment, drunk. You think this is how Yunho must have felt every time he comes to you.
Breathing harshly, you hear your own heart and brains pulsing into your ears. Your head hurts, hurts more than usual and you feel like throwing up. You steadily slump down against the wall, lids falling.
“Junsu!” a familiar voice calls, distant but closing in. “Junsu!” you make out Yunho’s worried expression as he shakes you. “What the hell are you doing? Why didn’t you tell me?”
After hearing those words, your heart stops.
“Fucking idiot!” he screams, fingers tightening around your arms, he continues to shake you. And that’s when you know, Yunho found out.
Weakly, you blink your tears away and smile. He found out, he knows, he knows, dammit.
“Let’s get you to a hospital!” he utters impatiently, ready to pick you up by the looks of it. But you swing your arms away, struggling out of his grip.
“It’s too late, hyung,” you grit your teeth and reply.
“How do you know?” he argues, kneeling in front as if begging, “There’s always therapy!”
You shake your head, lids falling, “I don’t want to.”
“Stop being stubborn, Junsu!”
You lace your fingers into his hair and pull his face closer. He lets you, eyes meeting yours. You want to remember, so bad. If anything, you want to always see this face; engrave it forever into your mind.
You cry. For a long long time you’ve wanted to cry. Who said you weren’t scared? Who said you can control these feelings so well?
He’s crying too. Tears slipping as he continues to gaze into your eyes. You can tell, he’s trying to hold back but Yunho isn’t doing so well either. “Gods, Junsu,” he sobs, “I-hyung’s been a horrible person,” his hands moves to cup your face.
Leaning in, he presses a kiss onto your lips, wet with tears. You finally smile, tasting salt at the tip of your tongue and you can’t tell if you’re tasting your tears or his.
Why can’t your story be an ‘I love you, you love me, happy ending fairytale’?
`
ree, i hope this was okay :X ilu!
& jewell i will work on smut next <3