Just woke up from a "morning" nap and it's almost 2 PM AND sour-soothers are my breakfast. Being sick changes my behaviour or something. Maybe this is actually my most basic, true self.

empty & wanting to escape, starting to feel consequences, wanting to escape

there is always this blockade lingering in the near future that prevents me from existing fully in the present, or something. I am fine I am fine I finished my passport application, woo-hoo. Etc.

I forgot to eat. I'm heinously addicted to nicotine. I can feel it.

Grahr! Eat food now

A bit of confusion isn't the end of everything. Yes, it's important not to deny one's feelings but also recognize when they are distorting reality. There is more than just energy & symbols - there are structures. Everything is structured. That is. Love is confusing! I am not a fucking scenester; that shit is all made up by haters.

But ah! I'm still being a loser in social situations, despite everything. Like, walking in small circles just outside the room where everyone else is a-hangin'. I didn't get enough sleep last night and golly I feel like a nap. But ahh! There are so many distractions.

= me vomiting constantly. I'm all better now! Fortunately. I did have a good time . . . until I had that last glass of Proprietor's Reserve. Whew.

definitely enjoyed last night, especially when we sat in the park and held hands in a circle. Yum! I wish every night had as much makeout/cuddle potential as that one. It is too bad how human beings seem destined to pair off, even in the short term. I wish everyone could make/break connections so easily. Maybe not though! I secretly love the ( Read more... )

'sposed to be at home monday morning to oversee the couch pickup/dropoff and Jeez! I was walking slowly at 10 am along 14th and my aunt had written a note to me that she read aloud, well, in case she had to go again ACHfg! need to find some stuff to do, honestly, I can't end up nowhere ??

Be careful! Skeletons is no longer playing the bassment on sunday so I can probably go to Beaver Creek with my friends? That would be enjoyable anyway.