(( OOC ))
I really debated whether to do this or not. First, I don't really have the time and second, I know this won't do the situation any good. But I figure that spending time on something that will put my mind at ease, at the very least, should be worth it.
A friend of mine brought the following anonymous comment to my knowledge:
da, but from my memory of things as they were, he was fucking some teen top member while chasing a jonghyun while getting pissed said jonghyun was flirting with some other nugu in teen top. mun proceeded to wank the hell out of all the above listed parties, got called out for it several times and self victimized herself acting like she was a saint. the problems are the ooc bleeding into the ic. as far as mucore? apparently he was asked to leave since he got into a fight with them and then suddenly all this vocals wank started happening, when key couldn't get jonghyun cock. forgot to mention the mun is a saesang jongkey shipper and will stop at nothing to get her pairing. even had secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun. he also fucked over some girls in the process, wanking on them when they got too close. as far as characteristically, i'd say he plays up the faerie queen aspect too much. how he treats people he's close to is absolutely a complete 360 to everyone else, so everyone else only sees the poor key who's just been down on his luck and flirted with too many times to be considered dating material. what was the comm back then? barbuddha? i played one of his labelmates and had a mun friend who played with him in shinee. at mucore, i played a girl and got wanked on for nothing at all, but i strongly suspect lockpickey. there, concrete evidence and i don't even care if you can figure out who this is.
Now would be a good moment to reconsider doing this at all, wouldn't it? I think so, too. I won't get to see what this will even result in and I don't want to, either. The friend who sent me this told me to do something about it, because apparently whoever tries to defend me gets called out as me. So at least this time it will be me, although not exactly where that comment came from because the address is blocked here, to prevent me from ever going there. I really do prefer to stay oblivious to these things, but I'm not stupid, I know they happen a lot. I couldn't not know, after the demonstrations I got from the muse confession meme and muse crit. Which, by the way, I will talk about later.
As for the anonymous comment above, it's hard to know where to start with it, so I decided to dissect it and tackle each point it tries to make from the beginning to the end. I will try not to get into details about the events for the sake of the people involved, and also because whatever my muse has or hasn't done is nobody's business; this is about me, the mun, not him, the muse.
"da, but from my memory of things as they were, he was fucking some teen top member while chasing a jonghyun while getting pissed said jonghyun was flirting with some other nugu in teen top. mun proceeded to wank the hell out of all the above listed parties, got called out for it several times and self victimized herself acting like she was a saint."
The fucking some Teen Top member never happened. Neither did the "chasing" a Jonghyun, unless that's what people call "falling for" these days, in which case then yes, it did. He did get jealous too, not pissed. Me wanking on whomever? One thing I learned during my stay in rp, especially in the anonymous places, is that it doesn't matter who does the wanking, because if someone wants to believe it's you, they will, and if this same person wants everybody else to believe it is you, they will make it happen. So I guess when this person says that that I victimized myself acting like I was a saint, they are referring to whoever tried to defend me at the time. Then, I used to frequent the anon memes a lot more than I did lately, but one thing that never changed was my low-tolerance to wank. I never really cared about other people's opinions on my muse, but as soon as the wank became personal attacks I shut myself out of it, for reasons I will explain later on. Every time my muse's name popped up on those memes the wank became personal, and every time I would get away from it long enough to let it die. Bottom line is, I didn't participate in it nor did I wank on anyone (but hey, this is just me acting like I am a saint so take all of it with a grain of salt).
"the problems are the ooc bleeding into the ic."
Obviously, this person is talking about how I wank on people because of in game issues. I don't remember what were my exact words but I did talk about this on one of my replies to a crit left for my muse on the latest meme. The thing is, someone does believe I do it. It's all anonymous, so how will they ever know it isn't? At this point, many people must believe I do it. I am here, writing this long ass post, and it isn't because I think it will convert those people. I know all this will do is reinforce their convictions, because in rp people only defend themselves when they are guilty of what they're being accused of doing, right? Otherwise, what is the point? There is no point; I'm only doing this because it will help me move on. On the crit meme, I told two of the people who gave me crit that I don't mix ic and ooc. If I did, god, there would have been so much more drama. I, as a mun, know so many things I could have used against people in game (and for wank too, of course). I never used things my muse knew about other muses for wank either; and the people involved know it because it would be easy to tell it was me, if said things surfaced at the anon places. This is why I know some people still tried to defend me; because those are the people that know I don't do the stuff some accuse me of. Those people at the crit meme didn't believe me, and I don't think anyone will. My reputation is so perpetuated among these people that unfortunately, nothing I do or say will change it.
"as far as mucore? apparently he was asked to leave since he got into a fight with them and then suddenly all this vocals wank started happening, when key couldn't get jonghyun cock."
He wasn't asked to leave. I dropped Key because of some of the things said to me on both muse crit and muse confession, and this is where I'll delve into it. I always knew people talked shit behind my back on the anon memes, first because I saw it happening and then because even if I stopped looking at those places, it doesn't mean the wank magically stopped too. I know someone intentionally started it all those years ago, but now it's difficult to tell if it remains only one person or there's an army of people that hate my muse and I. I'm sure some people must have ended up being successfully convinced that I wank on other muses/muns because of things that happen in game. Anyway, I stopped replying to the comments left for me on both those memes, the crit and the confession ones, because I realized their opinions about me won't change. They weren't exactly criticizing my muse, they were criticizing me. I don't accept it. Because only I know how much I've tried, throughout the years, to be an approachable mun, to treat everybody well, to be honest and helpful at all times. But the wank I've gotten has got to a point where nobody even wants to approach me anymore, because they are convict that I am a horrible person that will destroy them at the wank place that I don't even go to. Likewise, I can't trust anyone. Someone started trying to dig out things about me using my IP, which they got when my muse keyworded their icons. How low is that? How can I keep on letting myself be surrounded by people that either don't trust me, or will do anything to ruin me? This is why I got away from wank when it happened, because I can't watch people say absurd things about me and not get hurt. I never went to the wank meme because I know it's full of comments like this. It hurts, and I am not in this to get hurt. I'm not going to address the implication that I wanked on vocals, because I already said I don't do that.
"forgot to mention the mun is a saesang jongkey shipper and will stop at nothing to get her pairing. even had secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun."
I have one mun friend. One, who happens to be my best friend in real life, whom I've even introduced to rp. I have zero mun friends besides them. There are muns whom I am acquainted with for the sole reason I've talked to them more than once, never about personal stuff. Therefore, no one but my irl best friend knows who I am, what I like and what I don't. Saying I am a sasaeng JongKey shipper is not only untrue but reaching, too, since this person does not know me.
Now about the "secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun". This is the part that seriously gets to me, out of all of the things said in that comment. In fact, I will skip everything else talking about their opinion on my muse because I don't care, and he won't be around anymore so that shouldn't be a problem. My muse had a secret WeHeartIt account back then. It was a WeHeartIt for things he couldn't possibly heart in his regular one, being a closeted gay and all. Out of everyone that ever met my muse, only three or four people knew about his sexuality from himself. He was never open about it; in fact, to this day he has trouble accepting it and for a while he was even convinced he was attracted to girls. This secret WeHeartIt account was for gay pictures, even gay porn, everything he could never let anyone know he liked. He only ever added one person on it. And now it's being talked about in a wank place.
It all goes to show that you can trust no one in rp, or should I say on the whole internet? I was in this because it's something I identified myself with. I like writing, I love the real of my muse, and I find the possibility of playing out interaction with muses of people the real of your muse will probably never even meet fantastic. Roleplay was just a hobby for me, I don't have any issues irl that I use rp as an escape from. I am very successful at what I do for a living, I have wonderful friends whom I always have fun with. Moreover, I am someone who everybody can trust, both irl and here. But in real life everybody knows this, whereas here everybody thinks I am a despicable person.
So really, I am tired of being seen as something I'm not. Tired and sad, even though I shouldn't be because this isn't my life. I have an idea of what will be said about this post as soon as it gets linked to at that place, but it will remain just an idea. As always, I don't want to know, and the people who know me will respect my decision. I just want to say, to those that might have been genuinely sad to think I have ever wanked on them, that I'm sorry. I'm just very sorry that things got like this for me, for you, for everybody that just wants to play. I know some people depend on rp much more than I ever did, and I can imagine how depressing it must be to have their game ruined over and over.
This is an official goodbye too (I can already hear all the good riddances that will be uttered). I will not rp anymore. The point of this post is to allow me to leave with an ounce of dignity, even though most of the people who will read this think, and will keep on thinking, I have none. Thanks to those that gave us a chance. I wish everybody the best.
A friend of mine brought the following anonymous comment to my knowledge:
da, but from my memory of things as they were, he was fucking some teen top member while chasing a jonghyun while getting pissed said jonghyun was flirting with some other nugu in teen top. mun proceeded to wank the hell out of all the above listed parties, got called out for it several times and self victimized herself acting like she was a saint. the problems are the ooc bleeding into the ic. as far as mucore? apparently he was asked to leave since he got into a fight with them and then suddenly all this vocals wank started happening, when key couldn't get jonghyun cock. forgot to mention the mun is a saesang jongkey shipper and will stop at nothing to get her pairing. even had secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun. he also fucked over some girls in the process, wanking on them when they got too close. as far as characteristically, i'd say he plays up the faerie queen aspect too much. how he treats people he's close to is absolutely a complete 360 to everyone else, so everyone else only sees the poor key who's just been down on his luck and flirted with too many times to be considered dating material. what was the comm back then? barbuddha? i played one of his labelmates and had a mun friend who played with him in shinee. at mucore, i played a girl and got wanked on for nothing at all, but i strongly suspect lockpickey. there, concrete evidence and i don't even care if you can figure out who this is.
Now would be a good moment to reconsider doing this at all, wouldn't it? I think so, too. I won't get to see what this will even result in and I don't want to, either. The friend who sent me this told me to do something about it, because apparently whoever tries to defend me gets called out as me. So at least this time it will be me, although not exactly where that comment came from because the address is blocked here, to prevent me from ever going there. I really do prefer to stay oblivious to these things, but I'm not stupid, I know they happen a lot. I couldn't not know, after the demonstrations I got from the muse confession meme and muse crit. Which, by the way, I will talk about later.
As for the anonymous comment above, it's hard to know where to start with it, so I decided to dissect it and tackle each point it tries to make from the beginning to the end. I will try not to get into details about the events for the sake of the people involved, and also because whatever my muse has or hasn't done is nobody's business; this is about me, the mun, not him, the muse.
"da, but from my memory of things as they were, he was fucking some teen top member while chasing a jonghyun while getting pissed said jonghyun was flirting with some other nugu in teen top. mun proceeded to wank the hell out of all the above listed parties, got called out for it several times and self victimized herself acting like she was a saint."
The fucking some Teen Top member never happened. Neither did the "chasing" a Jonghyun, unless that's what people call "falling for" these days, in which case then yes, it did. He did get jealous too, not pissed. Me wanking on whomever? One thing I learned during my stay in rp, especially in the anonymous places, is that it doesn't matter who does the wanking, because if someone wants to believe it's you, they will, and if this same person wants everybody else to believe it is you, they will make it happen. So I guess when this person says that that I victimized myself acting like I was a saint, they are referring to whoever tried to defend me at the time. Then, I used to frequent the anon memes a lot more than I did lately, but one thing that never changed was my low-tolerance to wank. I never really cared about other people's opinions on my muse, but as soon as the wank became personal attacks I shut myself out of it, for reasons I will explain later on. Every time my muse's name popped up on those memes the wank became personal, and every time I would get away from it long enough to let it die. Bottom line is, I didn't participate in it nor did I wank on anyone (but hey, this is just me acting like I am a saint so take all of it with a grain of salt).
"the problems are the ooc bleeding into the ic."
Obviously, this person is talking about how I wank on people because of in game issues. I don't remember what were my exact words but I did talk about this on one of my replies to a crit left for my muse on the latest meme. The thing is, someone does believe I do it. It's all anonymous, so how will they ever know it isn't? At this point, many people must believe I do it. I am here, writing this long ass post, and it isn't because I think it will convert those people. I know all this will do is reinforce their convictions, because in rp people only defend themselves when they are guilty of what they're being accused of doing, right? Otherwise, what is the point? There is no point; I'm only doing this because it will help me move on. On the crit meme, I told two of the people who gave me crit that I don't mix ic and ooc. If I did, god, there would have been so much more drama. I, as a mun, know so many things I could have used against people in game (and for wank too, of course). I never used things my muse knew about other muses for wank either; and the people involved know it because it would be easy to tell it was me, if said things surfaced at the anon places. This is why I know some people still tried to defend me; because those are the people that know I don't do the stuff some accuse me of. Those people at the crit meme didn't believe me, and I don't think anyone will. My reputation is so perpetuated among these people that unfortunately, nothing I do or say will change it.
"as far as mucore? apparently he was asked to leave since he got into a fight with them and then suddenly all this vocals wank started happening, when key couldn't get jonghyun cock."
He wasn't asked to leave. I dropped Key because of some of the things said to me on both muse crit and muse confession, and this is where I'll delve into it. I always knew people talked shit behind my back on the anon memes, first because I saw it happening and then because even if I stopped looking at those places, it doesn't mean the wank magically stopped too. I know someone intentionally started it all those years ago, but now it's difficult to tell if it remains only one person or there's an army of people that hate my muse and I. I'm sure some people must have ended up being successfully convinced that I wank on other muses/muns because of things that happen in game. Anyway, I stopped replying to the comments left for me on both those memes, the crit and the confession ones, because I realized their opinions about me won't change. They weren't exactly criticizing my muse, they were criticizing me. I don't accept it. Because only I know how much I've tried, throughout the years, to be an approachable mun, to treat everybody well, to be honest and helpful at all times. But the wank I've gotten has got to a point where nobody even wants to approach me anymore, because they are convict that I am a horrible person that will destroy them at the wank place that I don't even go to. Likewise, I can't trust anyone. Someone started trying to dig out things about me using my IP, which they got when my muse keyworded their icons. How low is that? How can I keep on letting myself be surrounded by people that either don't trust me, or will do anything to ruin me? This is why I got away from wank when it happened, because I can't watch people say absurd things about me and not get hurt. I never went to the wank meme because I know it's full of comments like this. It hurts, and I am not in this to get hurt. I'm not going to address the implication that I wanked on vocals, because I already said I don't do that.
"forgot to mention the mun is a saesang jongkey shipper and will stop at nothing to get her pairing. even had secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun."
I have one mun friend. One, who happens to be my best friend in real life, whom I've even introduced to rp. I have zero mun friends besides them. There are muns whom I am acquainted with for the sole reason I've talked to them more than once, never about personal stuff. Therefore, no one but my irl best friend knows who I am, what I like and what I don't. Saying I am a sasaeng JongKey shipper is not only untrue but reaching, too, since this person does not know me.
Now about the "secret weheartit accounts dedicated to wanting to fuck jonghyun". This is the part that seriously gets to me, out of all of the things said in that comment. In fact, I will skip everything else talking about their opinion on my muse because I don't care, and he won't be around anymore so that shouldn't be a problem. My muse had a secret WeHeartIt account back then. It was a WeHeartIt for things he couldn't possibly heart in his regular one, being a closeted gay and all. Out of everyone that ever met my muse, only three or four people knew about his sexuality from himself. He was never open about it; in fact, to this day he has trouble accepting it and for a while he was even convinced he was attracted to girls. This secret WeHeartIt account was for gay pictures, even gay porn, everything he could never let anyone know he liked. He only ever added one person on it. And now it's being talked about in a wank place.
It all goes to show that you can trust no one in rp, or should I say on the whole internet? I was in this because it's something I identified myself with. I like writing, I love the real of my muse, and I find the possibility of playing out interaction with muses of people the real of your muse will probably never even meet fantastic. Roleplay was just a hobby for me, I don't have any issues irl that I use rp as an escape from. I am very successful at what I do for a living, I have wonderful friends whom I always have fun with. Moreover, I am someone who everybody can trust, both irl and here. But in real life everybody knows this, whereas here everybody thinks I am a despicable person.
So really, I am tired of being seen as something I'm not. Tired and sad, even though I shouldn't be because this isn't my life. I have an idea of what will be said about this post as soon as it gets linked to at that place, but it will remain just an idea. As always, I don't want to know, and the people who know me will respect my decision. I just want to say, to those that might have been genuinely sad to think I have ever wanked on them, that I'm sorry. I'm just very sorry that things got like this for me, for you, for everybody that just wants to play. I know some people depend on rp much more than I ever did, and I can imagine how depressing it must be to have their game ruined over and over.
This is an official goodbye too (I can already hear all the good riddances that will be uttered). I will not rp anymore. The point of this post is to allow me to leave with an ounce of dignity, even though most of the people who will read this think, and will keep on thinking, I have none. Thanks to those that gave us a chance. I wish everybody the best.