A Plan, Jules’ Plane, and Seven Disgruntled Boys
A Plan, Jules’ Plane, and Seven Disgruntled Boys
by sempiternusamor
Wordcount: 3557
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Kristi/Matt Bellamy, Monte/Jensen, Lyss/Jared, Misha/Amy/Chris Kane
Feedback: Hell yea! I didn’t post this thing for my health.
Summary: She comes up with a plan, leaves her pixie of a rock star to sleep, and sets it in to motion…what could go wrong?
Disclaimer: For god’s sakes, this didn’t happen. I’d be frightened if it did. I don’t own Muse, their songs, Matt, Dom, Chris or Tom. Also, not The Strokes, Julian Casablancas or Fabrizio. Neither do I own Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Christian Kane (or Kane and their music). Phew, what else? Oh for Christ’s sake, I own nothing but what semblance of a plot there is, and Kristi. Cause she’s me.
A/N: Let this be a lesson; never let me get bored. And then start talking to Monte on AIM. And then Aims. This is the crazy shit that happens. Lyss, I didn’t know what to do with Jared, so Monte suggested you.
Monte's Note: us + late night IM conversations = CRACKKKKKK
Kristi looked back at the untidy mop of black hair poking out from beneath the covers and felt a smile cross her face. About to leave their hotel room, hand on the doorhandle and everything, she froze when he groaned.
“Where are you going?” He grumbled, looking for all the world like the dishevelled rock pixie she fell in love with, sex god not withstanding so early in the morning.
Well, not today anyway.
“Just um…out. Got some errands to run.” Oh, she had a plan. A brilliant, evil plan that was great.
“Its sodding cold woman, get back in bed.” Matt demanded.
“Are you offering me any kind of favours?” She gave him a smirk and Matt buried his head in the pillows. “Thought as much.” She sniffed disdainfully.
“You’re a fucking evil minx.”
“Yes, and I only use you for mind blowing sex.” Matt grinned at her accent, which had quickly turned into a strange hybrid that was more British that her native Australian. Oh how he owed Dom for making him go out on a pub-crawl in Fremantle when they’d been in Perth…It would’ve been enough to see her sitting at that scruffy old piano in that weird little upstairs place.
“I knew it.” He giggled a little, and she had half a mind to crawl back in to their bed at the sound. No, that wasn’t the plan…not until later. “I like your dress.” She took half a step back towards the bed and realised he knew what he was doing.
“Nice try Bellamy. Like I said, errands.”
Matt had thought he was getting somewhere, complementing the long dress that showed a delicious amount of chest. It was, at most, seven thirty in the morning. What in the hell was she doing awake and not at least giving him a reason to be awake.
“We have a gig tonight.”
“I know, I’ll be there. See you then.” She blew him a kiss.
“Kris’…”
“Bye!”
With a sweep of the flowing dress, she shut the door behind her
“Plane…big plane…” Kristi was well aware she was talking to herself as she stopped for a coffee, tapping her mobile phone against her chin thoughtfully. “Ha! Jules!”
“Your latte…” If they didn’t know her in here after being in California a week, she’d be vaguely worried that they thought she was insane.
“Ta.” She picked up the steaming paper cup, flipping open her phone and scrolling through the ever-growing contact list.
“Hello?”
“Fab, hi…hang on wait, I called Jules, why are you…what?” The drummer laughed upon realising who was calling his band mate.
“Hello to you too, little madam. I happened to beat Julian to his phone, because he is an extremely last shit.”
“Well duh. Everybody knows that. You coming to the gig tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. I’m assuming something’s up for you to be walking the streets this early. And I can’t hear maniacal laughter, so Matthew isn’t gracing us with his presence.” She giggled at his way of putting things, having grown used to it after spending half a year touring with Muse and The Strokes. Best fucking double act she’d ever seen.
“Well, kinda. I need to…well, I’m calling in that favour Jules promised me after I kicked his ass at poker.”
“Fine. I’ll see you tonight then. Save me a dance at the after party.”
“Sleazy Italian.” She teased, hearing his laugh as he passed the phone over to a likely very hung over Julian Casablancas. “Hi Jules.”
“You’re too…awake.” He complained.
“Yes, well…I have a plan. However, I need to call in that favour.”
“I’m listening…sort of.”
“Well, listen more than sort of. I need the plane.”
“What, my plane?”
“Just for today. Need to go to…places.” He sighed, and she imagined he was sprawled over a large bed, quite scruffy.
“Fuck, you’re lucky it’s fast then. Are you not showing up at the gig?”
“No, I am. That’s why I need it now.”
“Fine, go to the airport. Give your name at the little check in desk, I’ll make sure they know they have to listen to you.” Kristi gave a little squeal of delight.
“Yay! Thanks Jules. Love you!”
He rolled over onto his stomach, closing his phone with a whine. Julian could picture the mischievous light in her green eyes and felt sorry for whoever was on the receiving end of this seemingly devious plan.
Whilst in the air, flying from California to Florida, Kristi picked up the phone.
“Hello?” She grinned, relieved and delighted, at the sound of her friend’s voice.
“Monte my love. You need to pack a bag.”
“Why? Where are you? It sounds all weird.”
“Too many questions. Have a bag ready in an hour. With something killer. Like; ‘Jensen Ackles wet dreams’ killer.” Her friend snorted in laughter.
“You’re up to something.”
“Oh yes. A cunning and devious something. Just be ready. I need to call Aims.”
Monte was about to ask more questions, unsure about whether to be cautious or just relax and go with it, when Kristi hung up the phone, presumably to call Aimee.
“Crazy, crazy bitch.” She muttered to Dayzee, her dog, who didn’t bother looking up from her sleep.
“Aimshowsooncanyougettotheairport?” The woman simply blinked at the lack of hello, how are you, or anything, but knowing full well whom it was.
“Um…if that was how soon can I get to the airport, half an hour, why?”
“Good, be there. Bring clothes. Monte and I will find you.”
“What? Why Monte?” Kristi sighed in exasperation, about ready to explode, she was practically vibrating in the plush seat.
“Because she’s coming too.”
“Coming where? You insane woman, calm the fuck down and tell me where I’m going.”
“You’re coming with us. We have important things to do.”
“I thought you were in California for the Muse show…that’s tonight, isn’t it?”
“Yes! Hence the hurrying. I’d rather like to be back for it. Be at the airport for when I’ve picked up Monte. See you then, bye.”
The auburn haired woman stared at her phone in almost disbelief. It couldn’t possibly be full disbelief, because from the little she’d spoken to Kristi whilst she was on the tour, being around Matt and the like had only served to heighten the barely controlled madness.
She was a little apprehensive.
Monte held back a laugh when she saw Kristi.
“Nice dress.” Kristi halted her walk towards her friend and looked down at the low cut halter neck affair, which barely brushed the floor as she walked.
“I’m sensing sarcasm.”
“Well, you certainly don’t look insane. But you sounded it.”
“Still do.” Kristi grinned wickedly. “You don’t know the plan yet.”
“So tell me.” Her green-eyed friend looked around secretively.
“Shh, when we’ve got Aims.”
“Oh! Baileys!” Kristi grinned.
“Thought you’d like that. The milk is on the door.”
“Don’t care if you are insane, you have good booze.”
“Alright. The both of you have no idea why I’ve brought you here. But, I have a plan, and I figure it’ll be the best plan ever…if we can pull it off.”
“Wait, whose plane is this?”
“Julian’s. Casablancas? Strokes?”
“Gold digger.” Aimee snickered. “You’re taking his friends too now.”
“Do you want to know the plan or not?” Kristi threatened, waggling a finger in her friend’s direction. “Right ladies. We’re going to Vancouver.”
“Okay, sorry, if we’re going to Vancouver, we need to pick up Lyss.” Monte looked towards Aimee. “Is that allowed, making amendments to the plan?” Aimee shrugged.
“Fine.” Kristi got out of her seat and walked into the cockpit, to direct Julian’s pilot to New York. “You’d better call her and tell her to be ready, time is running out.”
When she started humming Muse, Aimee threw a pillow at her.
Standing in front of the now three women, Kristi resumed her plan.
“Anyway. As I was saying. Vancouver. I know where they’re shooting Supernatural this week. And I figured out how to get us in. Because we had to pick up Lyss, we’ve got to work fast. Our first stop will be the props department.”
“Why?”
“Use your oh so vivid imagination.” Kristi smirked. “Think what they’ve got in there. Handcuffs, and rope, and…”
“You’re not going where I think you’re going, are you?”
“That depends, where do you think I’m going? Right. Your job is the Impala. Hotwire it, nick the keys, I don’t care. The cargo hold is big enough. And I intend for it to be how we get to the show tonight. We three - could be glorious? - No, anyway, we’ll deal with Jared and Jensen.”
“What about Misha? I want him too.”
“Fine. One each. But we’ve only got an hour.”
“Yes ma’am.” Monte saluted, taking a swig of her Baileys.
“We’re in.” Lyss whispered conspirationally, causing muffled giggles from the other three women.
“Okay. Monte, the garage type…thing, is over there.” Kristi indicated a rather large building. “Find the Impala you want and wait outside the gate, where they can’t see you. Wait until we bring the boys over.”
“How are we gonna do that?” Aimee hissed, peering around the bushes where they were hidden.
“Well, here.” Handcuffs and coils of rope were passed around the group. “Seduce them?”
“Oh, Jared alert.” Lyss groaned in appreciation at the sight before them. “That is tasty.”
“I’m a little partial to short white English boys…but I’d totally make an exception for that.”
“We should get all three of them in wardrobe. It’s closest, and we’d have somewhere to hide them until we can get into the Impala.”
“Love your work Aims.”
“Oh look, the leather jacket.” Peals of fangirlish laughter spread around the group.
“We’ll be taking that with us.” Kristi shoved it into the bag still clutched in her hand, the handcuffs and ropes having vacated it earlier.
“I don’t know whether we should allow you to be with the band much longer, you’re obviously losing it.”
“You came with me.” Kristi retorted.
“Well…Sh, I hear someone.”
The three women fell into silence, lurking behind various costumes.
Jared reached for a shirt, and Kristi’s hand shot out and grabbed him around his ankles, sending him crashing to the floor.
“Hey! What…” She couldn’t help but giggle. “Jen!”
The door banged open and shut within seconds, the shorter man looking around for his friend, only to be dragged down too.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jensen asked, bewildered. He felt the strangely familiar metal of handcuffs around one of his hands.
“Both of you, quiet.”
“Who the…”
“Jay, you okay?”
“I’m…yeah, I guess. You?”
“Well…”
“I said quiet.” Kristi knelt over them as their eyes adjusted to the dim light, to see three sets of eyes staring back at them. One belonging to an auburn haired woman in jeans and a tight t-shirt, eyes near to his own in colour hovering over Jensen’s, Another to a cheeky looking dark haired woman Jared thought he might’ve recognised, vaguely, dressed in a flowing dress, and the last to a pretty brunette in glasses, her hair up off her neck.
“Who the fuck are you?” Kristi giggled.
“Oh, you’ll find out. Later. For now though, quiet. Just do as you’re told, because it’d be a shame to have to drag you. Oh, did I mention it might look little sketchy? You’re handcuffed together.”
The three women giggled again.
“Misha will be in here any second. What’ll you do then?” Jared’s voice was triumphant.
“Really? Oh goodie. That’s my cue.” Aimee was in position as the door opened and swung shut, dragging the would be angel to the floor and cuffing him to Jensen’s other wrist.
“Man, why do I have to be in the middle?” He grouched.
“Dude, I seriously think that’s the least of our problems.” Jared told him, exasperated.
“What do you want?” Misha asked cautiously, directing his question to the green-eyed woman in the centre.
“Oh, where do I start?” Aimee leered, causing the other two to suppress more laughter. Confused, Misha’s eyes flickered from one to the other, before alighting on his friends.
“Um…little help guys?” Misha asked. Jared just shrugged.
“What are we supposed to do? The three of us are cuffed together for shits sakes.”
The door opened and Kristi’s eyes shot to Jared, eyeing him as a voice called out.
“You three okay?”
“Tell them you’re fine.” She hissed.
“Why should I?” He shot back.
“Just do it or else.”
“Else what?” He enjoyed the flash in her eyes.
“Look, this isn’t as creepy as it seems. I can guarantee you a good time.”
“I’ll bet you can.”
“Dirty sod! Not from me. Happily attached, thankyou. I’d take my rock pixie over you, sorry Sasquatch. You’ll have fun.” Jensen snorted at the purely male hurt look on Jared’s face. “Say it.”
“Yeah, we’re fine.” Jared yelled, glaring at her. Kristi turned to Lyssa.
“It’s your job to get that look off his face. I think we’ve given Monte enough time; we’ll have to go out the back door. Come on.”
“We’re still handcuffed together.” Misha complained.
“Be thankful you’re not tied up. I’ll do it, if you piss me off.”
“Monte?” Jensen asked.
“Our friend and accomplice. Get moving Ackles.” She shoved him through the door first.
Without too much difficulty - and a lot of whining from their newly acquired prizes - they made it out of the gate and towards the black beast of a car.
“You right to drive?” Kristi asked jokingly, seeing how comfortable her friend looked in the drivers seat.
“Perfect.”
“How’d you get that?” Jensen squawked.
“Hot wired it.” The woman looked up at him with a mixture of lust and fiery challenge in her blue eyes.
“Nice…be careful with her.” Monte looked up at Kristi as she pushed the three men into the back seat of the Impala.
“Forgetting something?” Kristi looked confused for a second, and Monte raised an eyebrow.
“Right, sorry.” Without another word, she leaned across Jared and reached into the pocket of Jensen’s jeans pulling out the packet of Marlboros and giving him a wink.
“Thankyou.” Monte said, and as soon as the four women had settled in the front seat started their drive towards the small airport.
“Won’t be needing them anymore.” Kristi threw the fags out of the window, turning around to meet bewildered green eyes. “If I ever catch wind you’ve picked them up again, you’ll be in for it.” She warned, to heartfelt nods from the other three women, and even Jared and Misha.
“You’re all bitches.” He muttered.
“It’s your fault Misha, we never had people this crazy before.” Jared whined, now in the lavish plane and still cuffed together.
“But…”
“And where do I know you from?” Jared continued talking without giving the other man a chance to defend himself, looking at Kristi sharply underneath his bangs.
“Been to any Muse concerts recently?”
“Well yeah, a couple of months ago.”
“Were they that English band with the short pixie looking crazy lead singer? That you made me go to? And the drummer in bright green jeans?”
“First off; nobody’s allowed to call Matt pixie but me. He’ll whack your face in. Think like a really angry little cat, and you’re getting the picture of what you’ll look like after. Secondly; I hope nobody has to make you go to a Muse gig ever again. You shall go of your own free will and because they are the best live band still touring. C…I mean, thirdly; those were my jeans, Dom nicked them.” Jensen digested this information with a nod.
“You free to take a breath now?” Monte teased, handing Kristi a Baileys.
“Why did we let you drive? How many of these did you have on the way?”
“Two…Anyway, we don’t want you to think we’re insane or anything. If you do, it was all her idea, and Muse are recording - so we don’t know if there were any hallucinogenics involved with the formation of said plan - please don’t hate us.”
“Oi! I didn’t take anything.” Monte raised an eyebrow. “Not since we were in Paris, anyway. That was ages ago.”
“Okay!” Lyss cut over the two and looked at the three men with a smile. “We’ll take off the cuffs if you promise not to do anything stupid. And you have to come to the gig, possibly the after party.”
“Definitely the after party.”
“And we get to go back to Vancouver relatively unscathed?” Misha asked, suspicious.
“Oh definitely. First thing Monday, if you like.” Jared shrugged.
“How bad can it be?”
“Dom!” Matt stretched out the drummers name as he lay in front of his piano, looking up at the sky.
“What?”
“Have you seen Kristi?” Dom looked at his friend strangely.
“Bit of a weird question mate. And you’ve been asking me all bloody day; the answer’s still no.”
“Where the fuck did she go then?”
“I have no idea.”
“Chris…”
“I still don’t know where she is. Strangely enough, since five seconds ago, I haven’t moved.”
They finished the sound check, sulky pout on Matt’s face. Of all the times to disappear, she picked the last gig in the US.
“Tom…”
“No, no idea. I’m sure she’ll be here for the gig.” Matt sighed grumpily, his bad mood rubbing off on to the others backstage.
Dom and Chris both tried Kristi’s mobile, to receive voicemail both times.
“I just wish she’d show up so he’s not a grumpy sod the entire time.” Dom received a cushion in the back of the head from Matt as he spoke with Chris.
It erupted into a full on play fight over the dressing room, just to let off steam.
Tom promised it was going on YouTube as soon as he got half a chance to sit around and stop media managing.
“Let me drive.”
“Piss off Ackles, I’m fine.”
“But I wanna drive! You kidnapped me for Christ’s sake, you could at least let me drive.” Kristi rolled her eyes and banged on the roof of the car, earning scandalised looks from both Monte and Jensen.
“Knock it the fuck off, or neither of you get to drive.” She threatened, turning to Jensen. “Kane are rehearsing tonight, right?”
“Yeah…I suppose.” Jensen answered.
“Great. If you can get them to open for Muse, I’ll let you drive for a little while.”
“That isn’t fair.” Monte muttered. Kristi sidled up to whisper in her ear.
“If he pulls this off, we get Chris to perve at too.”
Jensen looked a little frightened at the giggles that spread through the group like wildfire as Kristi happily linked arms with him and led him inside.
He came out swinging the keys around his finger, and promptly grabbed Monte’s hips and moved her from the drivers side door.
Kristi opened the dressing room door, simply blinking at the sight that greeted her; Matt was practically straddling Dom, pulling his hand behind his back as Chris simply laughed, and Tom valiantly tried to film it.
“Jeez, if you wanted Dom to join in, you only had to say babe.” Matt looked up immediately, noting with approval the tight black jeans and vest top that was already worming up her stomach enticingly.
“And where the fuck have you been, wench?”
“It’s all your fault he was being a dick all day.” Dom complained, although he didn’t move from where Matt had left him on the floor to walk to his girlfriend.
“Well, I was busy.”
“I’ll get you back. Later.” He purred into her ear, sultry voice making her shiver as his hands drifted to her hips.
The stage was a mess after the gig, the boys having reverted to their old ways and trashed Dom’s kit and everything else in sight.
The after party was in full swing from the moment they all arrived, alcohol proving to be a delightful lubricant to the three not so unwilling captives, and the entirety of the party.
It was as Kristi gazed around, happy with the outcome of said brilliant, ridiculous plan, that she noticed several things that made her giggle.
Jensen was holed up with Monte in one corner, the other woman looking beyond comfortable in his lap and running a hand through his sandy hair as he ravished her face and neck with kisses.
Jared was completely content with Lyssa settled by his side, his hand almost hiding her face as he stroked his thumb across her cheekbone, and she looked about ready to melt into the sofa they were sharing.
Aimee was wedged in between Christian and Misha, both looking completely at her beck and call. Chris had a hand on her hip as he whispered something in her ear that made the woman flush and giggle a little. Not to be outdone, Misha grabbed her and kissed her.
“I don’t even want to know what you did.” Mat spun her around to face him, crushing her against his chest, laughter heavy in his eddying blue eyes.
“I have my ways.”
“It looks like a sex club in here.” He pecked her lips, hands gliding to the bare skin of her lower back.
“See, you sound like you’re complaining.”
“Well, if everyone else is doing it…” Matt pulled Kristi roughly against him for a probing kiss.
And strangely, all was right.
Next: The Movie You’d Fly 5000 Miles For
by sempiternusamor
Wordcount: 3557
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Kristi/Matt Bellamy, Monte/Jensen, Lyss/Jared, Misha/Amy/Chris Kane
Feedback: Hell yea! I didn’t post this thing for my health.
Summary: She comes up with a plan, leaves her pixie of a rock star to sleep, and sets it in to motion…what could go wrong?
Disclaimer: For god’s sakes, this didn’t happen. I’d be frightened if it did. I don’t own Muse, their songs, Matt, Dom, Chris or Tom. Also, not The Strokes, Julian Casablancas or Fabrizio. Neither do I own Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Christian Kane (or Kane and their music). Phew, what else? Oh for Christ’s sake, I own nothing but what semblance of a plot there is, and Kristi. Cause she’s me.
A/N: Let this be a lesson; never let me get bored. And then start talking to Monte on AIM. And then Aims. This is the crazy shit that happens. Lyss, I didn’t know what to do with Jared, so Monte suggested you.
Monte's Note: us + late night IM conversations = CRACKKKKKK
Kristi looked back at the untidy mop of black hair poking out from beneath the covers and felt a smile cross her face. About to leave their hotel room, hand on the doorhandle and everything, she froze when he groaned.
“Where are you going?” He grumbled, looking for all the world like the dishevelled rock pixie she fell in love with, sex god not withstanding so early in the morning.
Well, not today anyway.
“Just um…out. Got some errands to run.” Oh, she had a plan. A brilliant, evil plan that was great.
“Its sodding cold woman, get back in bed.” Matt demanded.
“Are you offering me any kind of favours?” She gave him a smirk and Matt buried his head in the pillows. “Thought as much.” She sniffed disdainfully.
“You’re a fucking evil minx.”
“Yes, and I only use you for mind blowing sex.” Matt grinned at her accent, which had quickly turned into a strange hybrid that was more British that her native Australian. Oh how he owed Dom for making him go out on a pub-crawl in Fremantle when they’d been in Perth…It would’ve been enough to see her sitting at that scruffy old piano in that weird little upstairs place.
“I knew it.” He giggled a little, and she had half a mind to crawl back in to their bed at the sound. No, that wasn’t the plan…not until later. “I like your dress.” She took half a step back towards the bed and realised he knew what he was doing.
“Nice try Bellamy. Like I said, errands.”
Matt had thought he was getting somewhere, complementing the long dress that showed a delicious amount of chest. It was, at most, seven thirty in the morning. What in the hell was she doing awake and not at least giving him a reason to be awake.
“We have a gig tonight.”
“I know, I’ll be there. See you then.” She blew him a kiss.
“Kris’…”
“Bye!”
With a sweep of the flowing dress, she shut the door behind her
“Plane…big plane…” Kristi was well aware she was talking to herself as she stopped for a coffee, tapping her mobile phone against her chin thoughtfully. “Ha! Jules!”
“Your latte…” If they didn’t know her in here after being in California a week, she’d be vaguely worried that they thought she was insane.
“Ta.” She picked up the steaming paper cup, flipping open her phone and scrolling through the ever-growing contact list.
“Hello?”
“Fab, hi…hang on wait, I called Jules, why are you…what?” The drummer laughed upon realising who was calling his band mate.
“Hello to you too, little madam. I happened to beat Julian to his phone, because he is an extremely last shit.”
“Well duh. Everybody knows that. You coming to the gig tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. I’m assuming something’s up for you to be walking the streets this early. And I can’t hear maniacal laughter, so Matthew isn’t gracing us with his presence.” She giggled at his way of putting things, having grown used to it after spending half a year touring with Muse and The Strokes. Best fucking double act she’d ever seen.
“Well, kinda. I need to…well, I’m calling in that favour Jules promised me after I kicked his ass at poker.”
“Fine. I’ll see you tonight then. Save me a dance at the after party.”
“Sleazy Italian.” She teased, hearing his laugh as he passed the phone over to a likely very hung over Julian Casablancas. “Hi Jules.”
“You’re too…awake.” He complained.
“Yes, well…I have a plan. However, I need to call in that favour.”
“I’m listening…sort of.”
“Well, listen more than sort of. I need the plane.”
“What, my plane?”
“Just for today. Need to go to…places.” He sighed, and she imagined he was sprawled over a large bed, quite scruffy.
“Fuck, you’re lucky it’s fast then. Are you not showing up at the gig?”
“No, I am. That’s why I need it now.”
“Fine, go to the airport. Give your name at the little check in desk, I’ll make sure they know they have to listen to you.” Kristi gave a little squeal of delight.
“Yay! Thanks Jules. Love you!”
He rolled over onto his stomach, closing his phone with a whine. Julian could picture the mischievous light in her green eyes and felt sorry for whoever was on the receiving end of this seemingly devious plan.
Whilst in the air, flying from California to Florida, Kristi picked up the phone.
“Hello?” She grinned, relieved and delighted, at the sound of her friend’s voice.
“Monte my love. You need to pack a bag.”
“Why? Where are you? It sounds all weird.”
“Too many questions. Have a bag ready in an hour. With something killer. Like; ‘Jensen Ackles wet dreams’ killer.” Her friend snorted in laughter.
“You’re up to something.”
“Oh yes. A cunning and devious something. Just be ready. I need to call Aims.”
Monte was about to ask more questions, unsure about whether to be cautious or just relax and go with it, when Kristi hung up the phone, presumably to call Aimee.
“Crazy, crazy bitch.” She muttered to Dayzee, her dog, who didn’t bother looking up from her sleep.
“Aimshowsooncanyougettotheairport?” The woman simply blinked at the lack of hello, how are you, or anything, but knowing full well whom it was.
“Um…if that was how soon can I get to the airport, half an hour, why?”
“Good, be there. Bring clothes. Monte and I will find you.”
“What? Why Monte?” Kristi sighed in exasperation, about ready to explode, she was practically vibrating in the plush seat.
“Because she’s coming too.”
“Coming where? You insane woman, calm the fuck down and tell me where I’m going.”
“You’re coming with us. We have important things to do.”
“I thought you were in California for the Muse show…that’s tonight, isn’t it?”
“Yes! Hence the hurrying. I’d rather like to be back for it. Be at the airport for when I’ve picked up Monte. See you then, bye.”
The auburn haired woman stared at her phone in almost disbelief. It couldn’t possibly be full disbelief, because from the little she’d spoken to Kristi whilst she was on the tour, being around Matt and the like had only served to heighten the barely controlled madness.
She was a little apprehensive.
Monte held back a laugh when she saw Kristi.
“Nice dress.” Kristi halted her walk towards her friend and looked down at the low cut halter neck affair, which barely brushed the floor as she walked.
“I’m sensing sarcasm.”
“Well, you certainly don’t look insane. But you sounded it.”
“Still do.” Kristi grinned wickedly. “You don’t know the plan yet.”
“So tell me.” Her green-eyed friend looked around secretively.
“Shh, when we’ve got Aims.”
“Oh! Baileys!” Kristi grinned.
“Thought you’d like that. The milk is on the door.”
“Don’t care if you are insane, you have good booze.”
“Alright. The both of you have no idea why I’ve brought you here. But, I have a plan, and I figure it’ll be the best plan ever…if we can pull it off.”
“Wait, whose plane is this?”
“Julian’s. Casablancas? Strokes?”
“Gold digger.” Aimee snickered. “You’re taking his friends too now.”
“Do you want to know the plan or not?” Kristi threatened, waggling a finger in her friend’s direction. “Right ladies. We’re going to Vancouver.”
“Okay, sorry, if we’re going to Vancouver, we need to pick up Lyss.” Monte looked towards Aimee. “Is that allowed, making amendments to the plan?” Aimee shrugged.
“Fine.” Kristi got out of her seat and walked into the cockpit, to direct Julian’s pilot to New York. “You’d better call her and tell her to be ready, time is running out.”
When she started humming Muse, Aimee threw a pillow at her.
Standing in front of the now three women, Kristi resumed her plan.
“Anyway. As I was saying. Vancouver. I know where they’re shooting Supernatural this week. And I figured out how to get us in. Because we had to pick up Lyss, we’ve got to work fast. Our first stop will be the props department.”
“Why?”
“Use your oh so vivid imagination.” Kristi smirked. “Think what they’ve got in there. Handcuffs, and rope, and…”
“You’re not going where I think you’re going, are you?”
“That depends, where do you think I’m going? Right. Your job is the Impala. Hotwire it, nick the keys, I don’t care. The cargo hold is big enough. And I intend for it to be how we get to the show tonight. We three - could be glorious? - No, anyway, we’ll deal with Jared and Jensen.”
“What about Misha? I want him too.”
“Fine. One each. But we’ve only got an hour.”
“Yes ma’am.” Monte saluted, taking a swig of her Baileys.
“We’re in.” Lyss whispered conspirationally, causing muffled giggles from the other three women.
“Okay. Monte, the garage type…thing, is over there.” Kristi indicated a rather large building. “Find the Impala you want and wait outside the gate, where they can’t see you. Wait until we bring the boys over.”
“How are we gonna do that?” Aimee hissed, peering around the bushes where they were hidden.
“Well, here.” Handcuffs and coils of rope were passed around the group. “Seduce them?”
“Oh, Jared alert.” Lyss groaned in appreciation at the sight before them. “That is tasty.”
“I’m a little partial to short white English boys…but I’d totally make an exception for that.”
“We should get all three of them in wardrobe. It’s closest, and we’d have somewhere to hide them until we can get into the Impala.”
“Love your work Aims.”
“Oh look, the leather jacket.” Peals of fangirlish laughter spread around the group.
“We’ll be taking that with us.” Kristi shoved it into the bag still clutched in her hand, the handcuffs and ropes having vacated it earlier.
“I don’t know whether we should allow you to be with the band much longer, you’re obviously losing it.”
“You came with me.” Kristi retorted.
“Well…Sh, I hear someone.”
The three women fell into silence, lurking behind various costumes.
Jared reached for a shirt, and Kristi’s hand shot out and grabbed him around his ankles, sending him crashing to the floor.
“Hey! What…” She couldn’t help but giggle. “Jen!”
The door banged open and shut within seconds, the shorter man looking around for his friend, only to be dragged down too.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jensen asked, bewildered. He felt the strangely familiar metal of handcuffs around one of his hands.
“Both of you, quiet.”
“Who the…”
“Jay, you okay?”
“I’m…yeah, I guess. You?”
“Well…”
“I said quiet.” Kristi knelt over them as their eyes adjusted to the dim light, to see three sets of eyes staring back at them. One belonging to an auburn haired woman in jeans and a tight t-shirt, eyes near to his own in colour hovering over Jensen’s, Another to a cheeky looking dark haired woman Jared thought he might’ve recognised, vaguely, dressed in a flowing dress, and the last to a pretty brunette in glasses, her hair up off her neck.
“Who the fuck are you?” Kristi giggled.
“Oh, you’ll find out. Later. For now though, quiet. Just do as you’re told, because it’d be a shame to have to drag you. Oh, did I mention it might look little sketchy? You’re handcuffed together.”
The three women giggled again.
“Misha will be in here any second. What’ll you do then?” Jared’s voice was triumphant.
“Really? Oh goodie. That’s my cue.” Aimee was in position as the door opened and swung shut, dragging the would be angel to the floor and cuffing him to Jensen’s other wrist.
“Man, why do I have to be in the middle?” He grouched.
“Dude, I seriously think that’s the least of our problems.” Jared told him, exasperated.
“What do you want?” Misha asked cautiously, directing his question to the green-eyed woman in the centre.
“Oh, where do I start?” Aimee leered, causing the other two to suppress more laughter. Confused, Misha’s eyes flickered from one to the other, before alighting on his friends.
“Um…little help guys?” Misha asked. Jared just shrugged.
“What are we supposed to do? The three of us are cuffed together for shits sakes.”
The door opened and Kristi’s eyes shot to Jared, eyeing him as a voice called out.
“You three okay?”
“Tell them you’re fine.” She hissed.
“Why should I?” He shot back.
“Just do it or else.”
“Else what?” He enjoyed the flash in her eyes.
“Look, this isn’t as creepy as it seems. I can guarantee you a good time.”
“I’ll bet you can.”
“Dirty sod! Not from me. Happily attached, thankyou. I’d take my rock pixie over you, sorry Sasquatch. You’ll have fun.” Jensen snorted at the purely male hurt look on Jared’s face. “Say it.”
“Yeah, we’re fine.” Jared yelled, glaring at her. Kristi turned to Lyssa.
“It’s your job to get that look off his face. I think we’ve given Monte enough time; we’ll have to go out the back door. Come on.”
“We’re still handcuffed together.” Misha complained.
“Be thankful you’re not tied up. I’ll do it, if you piss me off.”
“Monte?” Jensen asked.
“Our friend and accomplice. Get moving Ackles.” She shoved him through the door first.
Without too much difficulty - and a lot of whining from their newly acquired prizes - they made it out of the gate and towards the black beast of a car.
“You right to drive?” Kristi asked jokingly, seeing how comfortable her friend looked in the drivers seat.
“Perfect.”
“How’d you get that?” Jensen squawked.
“Hot wired it.” The woman looked up at him with a mixture of lust and fiery challenge in her blue eyes.
“Nice…be careful with her.” Monte looked up at Kristi as she pushed the three men into the back seat of the Impala.
“Forgetting something?” Kristi looked confused for a second, and Monte raised an eyebrow.
“Right, sorry.” Without another word, she leaned across Jared and reached into the pocket of Jensen’s jeans pulling out the packet of Marlboros and giving him a wink.
“Thankyou.” Monte said, and as soon as the four women had settled in the front seat started their drive towards the small airport.
“Won’t be needing them anymore.” Kristi threw the fags out of the window, turning around to meet bewildered green eyes. “If I ever catch wind you’ve picked them up again, you’ll be in for it.” She warned, to heartfelt nods from the other three women, and even Jared and Misha.
“You’re all bitches.” He muttered.
“It’s your fault Misha, we never had people this crazy before.” Jared whined, now in the lavish plane and still cuffed together.
“But…”
“And where do I know you from?” Jared continued talking without giving the other man a chance to defend himself, looking at Kristi sharply underneath his bangs.
“Been to any Muse concerts recently?”
“Well yeah, a couple of months ago.”
“Were they that English band with the short pixie looking crazy lead singer? That you made me go to? And the drummer in bright green jeans?”
“First off; nobody’s allowed to call Matt pixie but me. He’ll whack your face in. Think like a really angry little cat, and you’re getting the picture of what you’ll look like after. Secondly; I hope nobody has to make you go to a Muse gig ever again. You shall go of your own free will and because they are the best live band still touring. C…I mean, thirdly; those were my jeans, Dom nicked them.” Jensen digested this information with a nod.
“You free to take a breath now?” Monte teased, handing Kristi a Baileys.
“Why did we let you drive? How many of these did you have on the way?”
“Two…Anyway, we don’t want you to think we’re insane or anything. If you do, it was all her idea, and Muse are recording - so we don’t know if there were any hallucinogenics involved with the formation of said plan - please don’t hate us.”
“Oi! I didn’t take anything.” Monte raised an eyebrow. “Not since we were in Paris, anyway. That was ages ago.”
“Okay!” Lyss cut over the two and looked at the three men with a smile. “We’ll take off the cuffs if you promise not to do anything stupid. And you have to come to the gig, possibly the after party.”
“Definitely the after party.”
“And we get to go back to Vancouver relatively unscathed?” Misha asked, suspicious.
“Oh definitely. First thing Monday, if you like.” Jared shrugged.
“How bad can it be?”
“Dom!” Matt stretched out the drummers name as he lay in front of his piano, looking up at the sky.
“What?”
“Have you seen Kristi?” Dom looked at his friend strangely.
“Bit of a weird question mate. And you’ve been asking me all bloody day; the answer’s still no.”
“Where the fuck did she go then?”
“I have no idea.”
“Chris…”
“I still don’t know where she is. Strangely enough, since five seconds ago, I haven’t moved.”
They finished the sound check, sulky pout on Matt’s face. Of all the times to disappear, she picked the last gig in the US.
“Tom…”
“No, no idea. I’m sure she’ll be here for the gig.” Matt sighed grumpily, his bad mood rubbing off on to the others backstage.
Dom and Chris both tried Kristi’s mobile, to receive voicemail both times.
“I just wish she’d show up so he’s not a grumpy sod the entire time.” Dom received a cushion in the back of the head from Matt as he spoke with Chris.
It erupted into a full on play fight over the dressing room, just to let off steam.
Tom promised it was going on YouTube as soon as he got half a chance to sit around and stop media managing.
“Let me drive.”
“Piss off Ackles, I’m fine.”
“But I wanna drive! You kidnapped me for Christ’s sake, you could at least let me drive.” Kristi rolled her eyes and banged on the roof of the car, earning scandalised looks from both Monte and Jensen.
“Knock it the fuck off, or neither of you get to drive.” She threatened, turning to Jensen. “Kane are rehearsing tonight, right?”
“Yeah…I suppose.” Jensen answered.
“Great. If you can get them to open for Muse, I’ll let you drive for a little while.”
“That isn’t fair.” Monte muttered. Kristi sidled up to whisper in her ear.
“If he pulls this off, we get Chris to perve at too.”
Jensen looked a little frightened at the giggles that spread through the group like wildfire as Kristi happily linked arms with him and led him inside.
He came out swinging the keys around his finger, and promptly grabbed Monte’s hips and moved her from the drivers side door.
Kristi opened the dressing room door, simply blinking at the sight that greeted her; Matt was practically straddling Dom, pulling his hand behind his back as Chris simply laughed, and Tom valiantly tried to film it.
“Jeez, if you wanted Dom to join in, you only had to say babe.” Matt looked up immediately, noting with approval the tight black jeans and vest top that was already worming up her stomach enticingly.
“And where the fuck have you been, wench?”
“It’s all your fault he was being a dick all day.” Dom complained, although he didn’t move from where Matt had left him on the floor to walk to his girlfriend.
“Well, I was busy.”
“I’ll get you back. Later.” He purred into her ear, sultry voice making her shiver as his hands drifted to her hips.
The stage was a mess after the gig, the boys having reverted to their old ways and trashed Dom’s kit and everything else in sight.
The after party was in full swing from the moment they all arrived, alcohol proving to be a delightful lubricant to the three not so unwilling captives, and the entirety of the party.
It was as Kristi gazed around, happy with the outcome of said brilliant, ridiculous plan, that she noticed several things that made her giggle.
Jensen was holed up with Monte in one corner, the other woman looking beyond comfortable in his lap and running a hand through his sandy hair as he ravished her face and neck with kisses.
Jared was completely content with Lyssa settled by his side, his hand almost hiding her face as he stroked his thumb across her cheekbone, and she looked about ready to melt into the sofa they were sharing.
Aimee was wedged in between Christian and Misha, both looking completely at her beck and call. Chris had a hand on her hip as he whispered something in her ear that made the woman flush and giggle a little. Not to be outdone, Misha grabbed her and kissed her.
“I don’t even want to know what you did.” Mat spun her around to face him, crushing her against his chest, laughter heavy in his eddying blue eyes.
“I have my ways.”
“It looks like a sex club in here.” He pecked her lips, hands gliding to the bare skin of her lower back.
“See, you sound like you’re complaining.”
“Well, if everyone else is doing it…” Matt pulled Kristi roughly against him for a probing kiss.
And strangely, all was right.
Next: The Movie You’d Fly 5000 Miles For