Fuck It
Fuck It
Wordcount: 816
Rating: PG13 for language, adult situations
Feedback: Hell yea! I didn’t post this thing for my health.
Disclaimer: Actually...I do own everything here
Author's Note: Based off some bullshit I went through with a guy awhile back. No real point, not the greatest story, was just me venting some anger.
Tanya stared blankly at the computer screen. Rereading the words a million times and still not having them sink in.
She had been seeing him for about a month. Nothing serious yet, just friends…with some…benefits. She knew he wasn’t over her. And that was okay. He had been with her for almost five years, she would have never expected him to get over her that quickly. She’d wait for him. However long that took.
But they had discussed all that. He knew her past. Knew how she had been hurt before. He promised he wouldn’t be a repeat. And she trusted him. She had no reason not too.
Everything had been perfect. He called all the time, sent her text messages just to say hi. He had a way of making her laugh even when she was trying to be mad at him. But this…
This was too much.
She had gotten online and went to his profile on one of those blogging sites. She was bored and trying to find something to pass the time until he got online. His ex’s picture next to a comment had caught her eye.
“Love you! Miss you! Cant wait till Sat its gonna be soo much fun!”
She stared. She thought she’d been staring for hours. But she still stared.
It took a moment for the shock to radiate through her body before she clicked the link to take her to that … girl’s profile. Underneath the comments she found his name.
“Hey baby…I miss you! You should come over more often. Love ya much! *mwah*”
Again, she stared.
That little bitch.
She immediately jumped unto the chatroom she frequented hoping and praying to the powers that be that her two best friends would be there. They were.
Thank God.
Angel was her normal self.
“That asshole! Ignore him…just ignore him…make him come groveling back to you.”
Teri on the other hand proceeded to piss her off even more.
In a private chat she had proceeded to tell her how she knew all along this was going to happen. But she hadn’t said anything because “By letting you figure it out for yourself I hopefully helped you learn something.”
Helped her learn something! That bitch!
Now she wasn’t just upset about him…now she was pissed at her friend!
God damnit!
He hand threw the mouse and slammed a fist into the keyboard before powering down the computer in a rush.
She went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of coconut rum. She grabbed a soda from the fridge and froze. She placed the can back on the self and took a swig of straight liquor. Wincing and hissing as it burned down her throat.
She held the bottle in her hand and stared blankly around the kitchen.
“It’s over…” She mumbled.
She was so sick of trying so hard, sick of putting everything she had into it just to be bitchslapped in the face.
“It’s so over…”
She was so close to that edge. So close to losing it all. So close to completely breaking.
If they only knew how many times she had cried herself to sleep at night, begging, pleading with whatever god there was that she just wouldn’t wake up in the morning.
Her wish never came true.
She took another healthy swig before replacing the bottle in its cabinet.
The muscle in her jaw twitched as she clenched her jaw. A scream tore through her chest as she landed a punch to the soft drywall. Throwing her shoulder and all her weight into the swing she wasn’t surprised when her fist went straight through.
She panted.
Then like hitting a light switch it was over.
In more ways than one.
She walked to her room, stripping of her clothes in the process and curled up on her soft bed.
She grabbed her Dalmatian stuffed animal, the one she had had since she was four, and closed her eyes.
She halfway expected tears to come. Despite how bad she hated to cry…when she did it was always at night…alone.
But they didn’t come.
Nothing came.
It was all just…numb.
He brain was still running in overdrive while she tried to will herself to sleep. If she could just get to the welcoming blackness of sleep.
She snatched her phone off the nightstand and set the alarm for six am. She’d go to the lake in the morning, watch the sunrise, been a long time since she had done that.
But even as the gears in her mind kept turning the tears still wouldn’t come. The hurt had even dulled.
She stared into the inky blackness in silence.
She sighed deep and rolled over on her side, clutching her stuffed animal to her bare chest.
Tanya was dead.
No more caring, no more giving a shit about anything…anyone.
Cold.
Just cold.
That night…Monte took over.
Wordcount: 816
Rating: PG13 for language, adult situations
Feedback: Hell yea! I didn’t post this thing for my health.
Disclaimer: Actually...I do own everything here
Author's Note: Based off some bullshit I went through with a guy awhile back. No real point, not the greatest story, was just me venting some anger.
Tanya stared blankly at the computer screen. Rereading the words a million times and still not having them sink in.
She had been seeing him for about a month. Nothing serious yet, just friends…with some…benefits. She knew he wasn’t over her. And that was okay. He had been with her for almost five years, she would have never expected him to get over her that quickly. She’d wait for him. However long that took.
But they had discussed all that. He knew her past. Knew how she had been hurt before. He promised he wouldn’t be a repeat. And she trusted him. She had no reason not too.
Everything had been perfect. He called all the time, sent her text messages just to say hi. He had a way of making her laugh even when she was trying to be mad at him. But this…
This was too much.
She had gotten online and went to his profile on one of those blogging sites. She was bored and trying to find something to pass the time until he got online. His ex’s picture next to a comment had caught her eye.
“Love you! Miss you! Cant wait till Sat its gonna be soo much fun!”
She stared. She thought she’d been staring for hours. But she still stared.
It took a moment for the shock to radiate through her body before she clicked the link to take her to that … girl’s profile. Underneath the comments she found his name.
“Hey baby…I miss you! You should come over more often. Love ya much! *mwah*”
Again, she stared.
That little bitch.
She immediately jumped unto the chatroom she frequented hoping and praying to the powers that be that her two best friends would be there. They were.
Thank God.
Angel was her normal self.
“That asshole! Ignore him…just ignore him…make him come groveling back to you.”
Teri on the other hand proceeded to piss her off even more.
In a private chat she had proceeded to tell her how she knew all along this was going to happen. But she hadn’t said anything because “By letting you figure it out for yourself I hopefully helped you learn something.”
Helped her learn something! That bitch!
Now she wasn’t just upset about him…now she was pissed at her friend!
God damnit!
He hand threw the mouse and slammed a fist into the keyboard before powering down the computer in a rush.
She went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of coconut rum. She grabbed a soda from the fridge and froze. She placed the can back on the self and took a swig of straight liquor. Wincing and hissing as it burned down her throat.
She held the bottle in her hand and stared blankly around the kitchen.
“It’s over…” She mumbled.
She was so sick of trying so hard, sick of putting everything she had into it just to be bitchslapped in the face.
“It’s so over…”
She was so close to that edge. So close to losing it all. So close to completely breaking.
If they only knew how many times she had cried herself to sleep at night, begging, pleading with whatever god there was that she just wouldn’t wake up in the morning.
Her wish never came true.
She took another healthy swig before replacing the bottle in its cabinet.
The muscle in her jaw twitched as she clenched her jaw. A scream tore through her chest as she landed a punch to the soft drywall. Throwing her shoulder and all her weight into the swing she wasn’t surprised when her fist went straight through.
She panted.
Then like hitting a light switch it was over.
In more ways than one.
She walked to her room, stripping of her clothes in the process and curled up on her soft bed.
She grabbed her Dalmatian stuffed animal, the one she had had since she was four, and closed her eyes.
She halfway expected tears to come. Despite how bad she hated to cry…when she did it was always at night…alone.
But they didn’t come.
Nothing came.
It was all just…numb.
He brain was still running in overdrive while she tried to will herself to sleep. If she could just get to the welcoming blackness of sleep.
She snatched her phone off the nightstand and set the alarm for six am. She’d go to the lake in the morning, watch the sunrise, been a long time since she had done that.
But even as the gears in her mind kept turning the tears still wouldn’t come. The hurt had even dulled.
She stared into the inky blackness in silence.
She sighed deep and rolled over on her side, clutching her stuffed animal to her bare chest.
Tanya was dead.
No more caring, no more giving a shit about anything…anyone.
Cold.
Just cold.
That night…Monte took over.