Secrets In Your Eyes
Secrets In Your Eyes
Chapter 7
Chapter Wordcount: 3080
Tayla had just sat down in front of her fireplace with a coffee mug full of eggnog and a book, her not so little anymore puppy, now named Jolene, sprawled lazily in front of the hearth, when there was a knock on her door.
It was late on Christmas night, she wasn’t expecting anyone, everyone in her immediate circle had family things going on, but she wasn’t surprised when she opened the door to see Benton.
“Hey,” she grinned, her breath appearing in the cold air.
Diefenbaker slinked past her legs and went trotting into the house, making a beeline towards the fireplace.
“She hasn’t invited us in! That’s just plain rude Diefenbaker!” Fraser scolded to his retreating form.
Tayla chuckled, reaching out to grab a handful of his leather jacket and pulling him inside.
“You’re letting all my warm air out, besides… he knows this is his home too,” she smiled, giving him a soft look.
He ducked his head as he felt his face flush and removed his jacket and boots in the entryway before leaning in to give her a soft kiss.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she grinned, unable to stop herself. She rolled her eyes in amusement, at her own giddy reaction more than anything and headed back to the living room.
He smiled to himself, swiping at his eyebrow and followed, almost being knocked over when he rounded the corner and Jolene spotted her rescuer.
“Jo-jo! You know better!”
Fraser chuckled, firmly pushing her off him as he knew Tayla was trying to teach her not to jump on people. He held up a scolding finger and waited until the chastised pup sat at his feet before he finally got down on his knee to hug and tussle with her.
“Oof, she’s getting big,” he laughed when the squirming mass of fur knocked him on his butt.
“Yeah, well, she’s all your fault,” Tayla grinned, returning from the kitchen with a second mug of eggnog for him.
When he finally fought his way standing again, accepting the drink with a quiet thank you kindly, Jolene decided she had said a proper hello to her second favorite person and returned to wrestle with Dief in front of the fire.
“Figured you’d be at the Vecchio’s tonight,” Tayla said, folding her legs up underneath herself where she nestled into the corner of her couch.
“Oh no,” he laughed. “Not sure I would survive,” he smiled sitting next to her, hand resting warm on her ankle when she shifted to shove her toes under his thigh. “I thought I might go tomorrow evening.”
Tayla laughed. “Yeah, Ma guilt tripped me pretty bad. It being my first year back home, and after dad. That whole family together is enough of an adventure, I wasn’t about to try that with a holiday on top of it.”
Benton chuckled in agreement and leaned his head back.
“No tree?” he asked after a moment, realizing that her home was for the most part bare of any decorations.
“Naw, I’m not big on holidays. Decorating is too much work. That was more my mom’s thing. Even after we were grown she’d drag out the boxes of stuff every year. I donated most of it after she died.”
Fraser hummed, the small parcel he had in his pocket feeling heavy and awkward all of a sudden.
He watched the logs shift in the fireplace before he sighed and figured he might as well, hoping it wouldn’t make her uncomfortable, if she wasn’t a fan of the holiday.
He leaned forward to put his mug on the coffee table and then dug into his jeans’ pocket, pulling out a simple craft paper wrapped square tied in twine.
“It’s not much…” he started quietly, falling silent as she sat upright beside him, wrapping her arms around his bicep and resting her cheek on his shoulder. “I must admit I was rather negligent in considering you might not be particularly cheerful for the holidays…”
“Hush,” she grinned. “I never said I was against them, I’m just not into the pomp and circumstance of it all.”
He smirked at her, feeling better and held the small package out to her.
“You really didn’t need to you know,” she whispered, looking at him from under her lashes as she carefully untied the twine and folded open the paper.
“I know,” he replied quietly.
She lifted the thin black cord and let the white pendant rest in the palm of her hand as she looked at it.
“I got it when I went to requalify for my sharpshooter badges,” he mumbled, referring to when he had gone north for his yearly reevaluation. “It’s made from a polar bear tooth. The polar bear is one of the most highly regarded animals to the Inuit. Almost equal to man.”
She smiled softly at him, unhooking the clasp and holding it out for him to take, reaching up to pull her hair to the side so he could loop it around her neck for her.
“Thank you,” she whispered, cupping his cheek and kissing him slowly. He closed his eyes and leaned into her, his fingers catching on the necklace’s cord as he slid his hand around the back of her neck.
She hummed as she finally pulled away, resting her forehead against his and sighed, reluctant to move away.
“I gotta admit,” she started, dropping her hand to play with a button on his shirt. “I had no idea what to get you,” she laughed.
He chuckled, “That’s quite alright, there’s no need.”
“But…” she cut him off with a grin. “Half my freezer is currently being taken up with moose, caribou and ptarmigan. Found a butcher that put together a little gift basket for me.”
The grin on his face was slowly growing wider.
“Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m not!”
“You’re a very hard man to buy for!” she giggled, nudging him with her foot in a playful approximation of a kick.
“I’m not!” he laughed, grabbing her ankle to stop her from striking again. “I’m quite touched actually. It’s hard to find tastes of home in Chicago,” he finished pulling her into another kiss. “Thank you.”
“Good,” she smiled against his lips, “’Cause there may or may not be a package of pemmican in my pantry too,” she laughed.
He laughed with her and kissed her again.
“You know, food is a quite common and important gift to give between the Inuit, it’s pretty much their most precious resource.”
She rolled her eyes at him and climbed into his lap.
“Shut up about the Inuit,” she whispered, situating herself and kissing him deeply.
“Understood,” he mumbled against her lips, letting his hands fall warm and heavy onto her hips.
Fraser growled when he felt a paw hit his knee.
“Diefenbaker…” he said slowly, warning in his tone.
Tayla laughed and shifted off his lap. “Yes, I got a present for you too baby,” she grinned, kissing the wolf on the top of his head as she left the room to retrieve it.
Diefenbaker looked at Fraser with glee. Not only had he successfully interrupted their kissing but Tayla had called him baby.
“Keep it up, I’m going to lock you outside. You can sleep in the snow,” Fraser threatened under his breath right before Tayla came back.
“Let’s see if this fits you,” she said, motioning Dief over to where she sat back down on the couch. He put his paws on her knees and stood letting her affix the fabric straps around his chest and body, adjusting a couple buckles for a better fit.
When she was finished and pulled away Fraser saw the reflective white letters spelling out ‘POLICE’ that now adorned either side of him.
“Now he can go anywhere he needs to without you having to make excuses,” Tayla grinned.
It had only been a few weeks before that they had been, rather rudely in Fraser’s opinion, accosted and chastised and all but chased out the door of a shopping center. Only to be saved when Ray came in from parking the Riviera and flashed his badge telling the irate owner that the dog was with him.
Diefenbaker all but strutted around the house, showing off his new uniform.
Fraser laughed. “Very nice Dief.”
***
Morning dawned to the soft hush of snow falling outside. Fraser drifted in and out of a contented sleep for a while but when he finally opened his eyes he smiled, watching the way it drifted past the window. He sighed, shifting just enough to be able to look at where Tayla was curled up in the crook of his arm and he couldn’t help by wonder at how his life had changed.
The northern wilds would always be home, but the big city of Chicago had come to embody that word in ways he could have never predicted.
He couldn’t help but remember sleeping in with Victoria. Those first couple days when everything had still been artificially blissful. He had lost himself in the comfort of having another person close to him, let himself relax in her touch.
Looking back now he knows it was all a lie. She had manipulated him before she had even arrived in Chicago. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the depth of planning and effort it must have taken. Tracking him down when he was so far from home, staging fake crime scenes at his father’s cabin as well as both his and Ray’s homes. Everything had been so intricate, she had left nothing to chance and it still twisted his stomach to know everything had been a scheme.
He remembers coming out of the fog of anesthesia after his surgery, a small, bitter part of himself wondering if Ray had shot him on purpose, to keep him from leaving. But during the many quiet hours during his recovery he knew it had just been pain and heartbreak talking. If anything he was grateful, in a strange sort of way, that Ray had fired. Saved him from himself. He was so blinded by the intensity of their relationship, healthy or not, that he would have gone with her, had been intent on going with her. There’s no telling what would have happened, but he can’t help but feel relieved. He’s not sure he would have ever been able to trust her.
He does however trust Tayla. He knows he’s safe with her. And it makes the comfort he told himself he felt with Victoria ring all the more false. Tayla has never tried to manipulate him. Even when they were both trembling with nervousness, she had been nothing but honest with him, almost bluntly so. Because while saying what you felt was terrifying, she hid nothing from him. The contentment and comfort is so much deeper, holding her now, knowing he’s safe.
“You’re thinking awfully loud up there,” she whispered, eyes still closed, face tucked into his neck.
He chuckled, low and quiet in his chest.
“My apologizes,” he grinned, looking down to see her blinking sleepily at him.
She hummed against his skin and shifted, stretching a bit before tangling her legs with his again.
“Just… thinking,” he said quietly. “About everything that’s happened… to end up here.”
“I wouldn’t trade another chance… for being here, now.”
She smiled softly, reached up to run her fingers through the hair at the base of his skull and pulled him so his forehead rested against hers.
“Nor would I,” she whispered, kissing him softly.
He let her mold herself against him, leg hitched over his while they kissed soft and quiet, more just contact, being close than even real kisses.
They’d have to move soon, the dogs no doubt needed to go out. And they had promised Ma Vecchio they would make an appearance at some point today.
But for now they were content and drowsy with relaxation and he could think of no reason to leave the warmth of the blankets for the snow falling outside.
***
“Are you sick?”
“What?” Fraser asked, turning to look at Ray, surprised by the sudden break of silence.
“We’ve been on this stakeout for three hours now and you haven’t told me one Inuit story.”
“I apologize Ray, I wasn’t aware you were waiting for one.”
“I’m not. You just normally don’t shut up… you alright?”
Fraser smirked, understanding his friend’s sarcasm as the concern it actually was.
“I’m alright Ray,” he offered, turning to look back out the window at the warehouse door they were watching.
Ray hummed, taking a drink of his coffee.
“I’ve just been lost in thought,” Fraser mumbled after an extended beat of silence.
“Nine times outta ten you thinking about something ends up with me risking my life somehow. Should I be worried?”
He turned to look back at Ray and smiled, taking the mug of coffee he offered him from his thermos.
“I think you’re safe,” he grinned.
Ray nodded and turned back to his own drink, the caffeine being a necessity for this overnight gig. Technically Fraser didn’t even have to be there, it’s not as if stakeouts were an explicit part of his liaising job. But he had tagged along, as always, in support of his partner and Ray was glad he had such a good friend. This job would be boring as hell if he had been alone.
“I never thanked you… for that night,” Fraser mumbled.
Ray looked over at him, brow drawn down in confusion. Thinking back over everything they had been through together.
Fraser looked up at him for a split second before looking back down at his cooling cup of coffee.
“With Victoria.”
There was a wounded surprised sound in Ray’s throat.
“Jesus Benny… I shot you. What the hell would you wanna thank me for?”
“For stopping me.”
Ray’s eyes were wide.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked, voice strained.
Fraser shot him a smile then.
“Nothing, I promise. Just been thinking a lot about things… how things could have turned out.”
“Hey,” Ray started, jamming his mug between the dashboard and the windshield, shifting in his seat so he could face him properly.
“First of all… don’t. Don’t thank me for that. You have no idea how many times I wish I could re-do that moment…”
“Ray…”
“Don’t. Just… don’t. I shot you. I shot my best friend. Jesus Benny…” he hissed, looking away and scrubbing a hand over his face. “You have any idea how freaking panicked I was when I saw you fall. Flipping hell…” he trailed off. “Yeah, I wanted to stop you. Shit… but not like that,” he whispered.
“I know, I know it was an accident, I knew it then. I’ve never blamed you for that. If I had gone with her I would have destroyed everything…”
“You loved her Benny,” Ray said quietly.
“I did. But I was blinded. She lied, from the day I saw her, she was lying.”
“What brought all this up?”
Fraser sighed, watching the warehouse, which was easier than making eye contact.
“Just…”
“You and Tayla fight?”
He chuckled then.
“No, not at all actually. I’m just… scared,” he admitted.
“Of what?” Ray prompted him after he sat in silence for a moment.
“I misjudged everything with Victoria. I lost myself in the intensity of it all. Went against everything I’ve ever stood for.”
“Tayla’s not Victoria.”
“I know,” he said, forcing a smirk. “I just…”
“Stop… just stop,” Ray cut him off, shifting to face straight ahead again and grabbed the steering wheel.
Fraser looked down at his hands as if he’d been chastised.
Ray sighed, twisting his grip on the leather of the wheel.
“Look,” he sighed again. “You loved Victoria. I ain’t saying I was happy about it. She used you. She set you up. And had it been some random broad on the street I can’t say I would have been able to control my actions.”
He could see Fraser look up at him from the side.
“But she wasn’t some random broad. And you loved her, right or wrong. And no, I didn’t want you to go, for a million different reasons. But I respect you,” he said, looking over at his friend. “And I would have supported you, no matter what hole you were digging for yourself.”
Fraser smiled and had to look away as he felt a flush heat his face.
“I would give anything to go back to that day and protect you, to not shoot you, Jesus. But if I know anything… it’s that Tay is nothing like Victoria.”
“I know,” Fraser smiled again. “I keep telling myself that.”
Ray grinned at him. “She’s never going to hurt you,” he said softly, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder when Fraser looked at him.
“I’m happy for you man… you’re my brother,” he whispered and Fraser’s breath caught in his throat, overwhelmed with love and affection for his friend. All he could do was smile and nod.
“She’s good. I’ve known that girl a long time. And honestly, I’m protective of you both. I wouldn’t let her go out with some douchebag just as much as I wouldn’t let you date some bitch. So in my opinion… you guys are perfect.”
“Thanks Ray,” Fraser whispered.
“Lissen Benny,” Ray said softly, “I know it’s scary. And I know you’re still getting over the past. But Tay… she ain’t gonna hurt you.”
Fraser smiled at him and nodded. He had gotten himself so twisted up inside his own head. Fixated on all the ways Victoria had used him. Couldn’t think past the blind panic at the thought of anything approaching that level of pain again.
But Ray was right. He had nothing to worry about. There hadn’t been a single thing between he and Tayla that should make him worry. He needed to let go of Victoria, for once and for all. He had meant what he said to Tayla just the other morning. There might be a part of him that will always wonder what could have happened, but he wouldn’t trade where he was now for a second chance. He wouldn’t trade the connection he had with Tayla or the contentment he felt with her.
He looked over at Ray, the word brother whispering on loop in his head and smiled.
“Thanks brother,” he whispered.
Ray nodded, sniffed and scrubbed at his nose to try to hide the grin on his face and looked back out the windshield.
***
Jolene
and the necklace Benton gives her
Previous: Chapter Six | Next: Chapter Eight
Chapter 7
Chapter Wordcount: 3080
Tayla had just sat down in front of her fireplace with a coffee mug full of eggnog and a book, her not so little anymore puppy, now named Jolene, sprawled lazily in front of the hearth, when there was a knock on her door.
It was late on Christmas night, she wasn’t expecting anyone, everyone in her immediate circle had family things going on, but she wasn’t surprised when she opened the door to see Benton.
“Hey,” she grinned, her breath appearing in the cold air.
Diefenbaker slinked past her legs and went trotting into the house, making a beeline towards the fireplace.
“She hasn’t invited us in! That’s just plain rude Diefenbaker!” Fraser scolded to his retreating form.
Tayla chuckled, reaching out to grab a handful of his leather jacket and pulling him inside.
“You’re letting all my warm air out, besides… he knows this is his home too,” she smiled, giving him a soft look.
He ducked his head as he felt his face flush and removed his jacket and boots in the entryway before leaning in to give her a soft kiss.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she grinned, unable to stop herself. She rolled her eyes in amusement, at her own giddy reaction more than anything and headed back to the living room.
He smiled to himself, swiping at his eyebrow and followed, almost being knocked over when he rounded the corner and Jolene spotted her rescuer.
“Jo-jo! You know better!”
Fraser chuckled, firmly pushing her off him as he knew Tayla was trying to teach her not to jump on people. He held up a scolding finger and waited until the chastised pup sat at his feet before he finally got down on his knee to hug and tussle with her.
“Oof, she’s getting big,” he laughed when the squirming mass of fur knocked him on his butt.
“Yeah, well, she’s all your fault,” Tayla grinned, returning from the kitchen with a second mug of eggnog for him.
When he finally fought his way standing again, accepting the drink with a quiet thank you kindly, Jolene decided she had said a proper hello to her second favorite person and returned to wrestle with Dief in front of the fire.
“Figured you’d be at the Vecchio’s tonight,” Tayla said, folding her legs up underneath herself where she nestled into the corner of her couch.
“Oh no,” he laughed. “Not sure I would survive,” he smiled sitting next to her, hand resting warm on her ankle when she shifted to shove her toes under his thigh. “I thought I might go tomorrow evening.”
Tayla laughed. “Yeah, Ma guilt tripped me pretty bad. It being my first year back home, and after dad. That whole family together is enough of an adventure, I wasn’t about to try that with a holiday on top of it.”
Benton chuckled in agreement and leaned his head back.
“No tree?” he asked after a moment, realizing that her home was for the most part bare of any decorations.
“Naw, I’m not big on holidays. Decorating is too much work. That was more my mom’s thing. Even after we were grown she’d drag out the boxes of stuff every year. I donated most of it after she died.”
Fraser hummed, the small parcel he had in his pocket feeling heavy and awkward all of a sudden.
He watched the logs shift in the fireplace before he sighed and figured he might as well, hoping it wouldn’t make her uncomfortable, if she wasn’t a fan of the holiday.
He leaned forward to put his mug on the coffee table and then dug into his jeans’ pocket, pulling out a simple craft paper wrapped square tied in twine.
“It’s not much…” he started quietly, falling silent as she sat upright beside him, wrapping her arms around his bicep and resting her cheek on his shoulder. “I must admit I was rather negligent in considering you might not be particularly cheerful for the holidays…”
“Hush,” she grinned. “I never said I was against them, I’m just not into the pomp and circumstance of it all.”
He smirked at her, feeling better and held the small package out to her.
“You really didn’t need to you know,” she whispered, looking at him from under her lashes as she carefully untied the twine and folded open the paper.
“I know,” he replied quietly.
She lifted the thin black cord and let the white pendant rest in the palm of her hand as she looked at it.
“I got it when I went to requalify for my sharpshooter badges,” he mumbled, referring to when he had gone north for his yearly reevaluation. “It’s made from a polar bear tooth. The polar bear is one of the most highly regarded animals to the Inuit. Almost equal to man.”
She smiled softly at him, unhooking the clasp and holding it out for him to take, reaching up to pull her hair to the side so he could loop it around her neck for her.
“Thank you,” she whispered, cupping his cheek and kissing him slowly. He closed his eyes and leaned into her, his fingers catching on the necklace’s cord as he slid his hand around the back of her neck.
She hummed as she finally pulled away, resting her forehead against his and sighed, reluctant to move away.
“I gotta admit,” she started, dropping her hand to play with a button on his shirt. “I had no idea what to get you,” she laughed.
He chuckled, “That’s quite alright, there’s no need.”
“But…” she cut him off with a grin. “Half my freezer is currently being taken up with moose, caribou and ptarmigan. Found a butcher that put together a little gift basket for me.”
The grin on his face was slowly growing wider.
“Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m not!”
“You’re a very hard man to buy for!” she giggled, nudging him with her foot in a playful approximation of a kick.
“I’m not!” he laughed, grabbing her ankle to stop her from striking again. “I’m quite touched actually. It’s hard to find tastes of home in Chicago,” he finished pulling her into another kiss. “Thank you.”
“Good,” she smiled against his lips, “’Cause there may or may not be a package of pemmican in my pantry too,” she laughed.
He laughed with her and kissed her again.
“You know, food is a quite common and important gift to give between the Inuit, it’s pretty much their most precious resource.”
She rolled her eyes at him and climbed into his lap.
“Shut up about the Inuit,” she whispered, situating herself and kissing him deeply.
“Understood,” he mumbled against her lips, letting his hands fall warm and heavy onto her hips.
Fraser growled when he felt a paw hit his knee.
“Diefenbaker…” he said slowly, warning in his tone.
Tayla laughed and shifted off his lap. “Yes, I got a present for you too baby,” she grinned, kissing the wolf on the top of his head as she left the room to retrieve it.
Diefenbaker looked at Fraser with glee. Not only had he successfully interrupted their kissing but Tayla had called him baby.
“Keep it up, I’m going to lock you outside. You can sleep in the snow,” Fraser threatened under his breath right before Tayla came back.
“Let’s see if this fits you,” she said, motioning Dief over to where she sat back down on the couch. He put his paws on her knees and stood letting her affix the fabric straps around his chest and body, adjusting a couple buckles for a better fit.
When she was finished and pulled away Fraser saw the reflective white letters spelling out ‘POLICE’ that now adorned either side of him.
“Now he can go anywhere he needs to without you having to make excuses,” Tayla grinned.
It had only been a few weeks before that they had been, rather rudely in Fraser’s opinion, accosted and chastised and all but chased out the door of a shopping center. Only to be saved when Ray came in from parking the Riviera and flashed his badge telling the irate owner that the dog was with him.
Diefenbaker all but strutted around the house, showing off his new uniform.
Fraser laughed. “Very nice Dief.”
***
Morning dawned to the soft hush of snow falling outside. Fraser drifted in and out of a contented sleep for a while but when he finally opened his eyes he smiled, watching the way it drifted past the window. He sighed, shifting just enough to be able to look at where Tayla was curled up in the crook of his arm and he couldn’t help by wonder at how his life had changed.
The northern wilds would always be home, but the big city of Chicago had come to embody that word in ways he could have never predicted.
He couldn’t help but remember sleeping in with Victoria. Those first couple days when everything had still been artificially blissful. He had lost himself in the comfort of having another person close to him, let himself relax in her touch.
Looking back now he knows it was all a lie. She had manipulated him before she had even arrived in Chicago. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the depth of planning and effort it must have taken. Tracking him down when he was so far from home, staging fake crime scenes at his father’s cabin as well as both his and Ray’s homes. Everything had been so intricate, she had left nothing to chance and it still twisted his stomach to know everything had been a scheme.
He remembers coming out of the fog of anesthesia after his surgery, a small, bitter part of himself wondering if Ray had shot him on purpose, to keep him from leaving. But during the many quiet hours during his recovery he knew it had just been pain and heartbreak talking. If anything he was grateful, in a strange sort of way, that Ray had fired. Saved him from himself. He was so blinded by the intensity of their relationship, healthy or not, that he would have gone with her, had been intent on going with her. There’s no telling what would have happened, but he can’t help but feel relieved. He’s not sure he would have ever been able to trust her.
He does however trust Tayla. He knows he’s safe with her. And it makes the comfort he told himself he felt with Victoria ring all the more false. Tayla has never tried to manipulate him. Even when they were both trembling with nervousness, she had been nothing but honest with him, almost bluntly so. Because while saying what you felt was terrifying, she hid nothing from him. The contentment and comfort is so much deeper, holding her now, knowing he’s safe.
“You’re thinking awfully loud up there,” she whispered, eyes still closed, face tucked into his neck.
He chuckled, low and quiet in his chest.
“My apologizes,” he grinned, looking down to see her blinking sleepily at him.
She hummed against his skin and shifted, stretching a bit before tangling her legs with his again.
“Just… thinking,” he said quietly. “About everything that’s happened… to end up here.”
“I wouldn’t trade another chance… for being here, now.”
She smiled softly, reached up to run her fingers through the hair at the base of his skull and pulled him so his forehead rested against hers.
“Nor would I,” she whispered, kissing him softly.
He let her mold herself against him, leg hitched over his while they kissed soft and quiet, more just contact, being close than even real kisses.
They’d have to move soon, the dogs no doubt needed to go out. And they had promised Ma Vecchio they would make an appearance at some point today.
But for now they were content and drowsy with relaxation and he could think of no reason to leave the warmth of the blankets for the snow falling outside.
***
“Are you sick?”
“What?” Fraser asked, turning to look at Ray, surprised by the sudden break of silence.
“We’ve been on this stakeout for three hours now and you haven’t told me one Inuit story.”
“I apologize Ray, I wasn’t aware you were waiting for one.”
“I’m not. You just normally don’t shut up… you alright?”
Fraser smirked, understanding his friend’s sarcasm as the concern it actually was.
“I’m alright Ray,” he offered, turning to look back out the window at the warehouse door they were watching.
Ray hummed, taking a drink of his coffee.
“I’ve just been lost in thought,” Fraser mumbled after an extended beat of silence.
“Nine times outta ten you thinking about something ends up with me risking my life somehow. Should I be worried?”
He turned to look back at Ray and smiled, taking the mug of coffee he offered him from his thermos.
“I think you’re safe,” he grinned.
Ray nodded and turned back to his own drink, the caffeine being a necessity for this overnight gig. Technically Fraser didn’t even have to be there, it’s not as if stakeouts were an explicit part of his liaising job. But he had tagged along, as always, in support of his partner and Ray was glad he had such a good friend. This job would be boring as hell if he had been alone.
“I never thanked you… for that night,” Fraser mumbled.
Ray looked over at him, brow drawn down in confusion. Thinking back over everything they had been through together.
Fraser looked up at him for a split second before looking back down at his cooling cup of coffee.
“With Victoria.”
There was a wounded surprised sound in Ray’s throat.
“Jesus Benny… I shot you. What the hell would you wanna thank me for?”
“For stopping me.”
Ray’s eyes were wide.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked, voice strained.
Fraser shot him a smile then.
“Nothing, I promise. Just been thinking a lot about things… how things could have turned out.”
“Hey,” Ray started, jamming his mug between the dashboard and the windshield, shifting in his seat so he could face him properly.
“First of all… don’t. Don’t thank me for that. You have no idea how many times I wish I could re-do that moment…”
“Ray…”
“Don’t. Just… don’t. I shot you. I shot my best friend. Jesus Benny…” he hissed, looking away and scrubbing a hand over his face. “You have any idea how freaking panicked I was when I saw you fall. Flipping hell…” he trailed off. “Yeah, I wanted to stop you. Shit… but not like that,” he whispered.
“I know, I know it was an accident, I knew it then. I’ve never blamed you for that. If I had gone with her I would have destroyed everything…”
“You loved her Benny,” Ray said quietly.
“I did. But I was blinded. She lied, from the day I saw her, she was lying.”
“What brought all this up?”
Fraser sighed, watching the warehouse, which was easier than making eye contact.
“Just…”
“You and Tayla fight?”
He chuckled then.
“No, not at all actually. I’m just… scared,” he admitted.
“Of what?” Ray prompted him after he sat in silence for a moment.
“I misjudged everything with Victoria. I lost myself in the intensity of it all. Went against everything I’ve ever stood for.”
“Tayla’s not Victoria.”
“I know,” he said, forcing a smirk. “I just…”
“Stop… just stop,” Ray cut him off, shifting to face straight ahead again and grabbed the steering wheel.
Fraser looked down at his hands as if he’d been chastised.
Ray sighed, twisting his grip on the leather of the wheel.
“Look,” he sighed again. “You loved Victoria. I ain’t saying I was happy about it. She used you. She set you up. And had it been some random broad on the street I can’t say I would have been able to control my actions.”
He could see Fraser look up at him from the side.
“But she wasn’t some random broad. And you loved her, right or wrong. And no, I didn’t want you to go, for a million different reasons. But I respect you,” he said, looking over at his friend. “And I would have supported you, no matter what hole you were digging for yourself.”
Fraser smiled and had to look away as he felt a flush heat his face.
“I would give anything to go back to that day and protect you, to not shoot you, Jesus. But if I know anything… it’s that Tay is nothing like Victoria.”
“I know,” Fraser smiled again. “I keep telling myself that.”
Ray grinned at him. “She’s never going to hurt you,” he said softly, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder when Fraser looked at him.
“I’m happy for you man… you’re my brother,” he whispered and Fraser’s breath caught in his throat, overwhelmed with love and affection for his friend. All he could do was smile and nod.
“She’s good. I’ve known that girl a long time. And honestly, I’m protective of you both. I wouldn’t let her go out with some douchebag just as much as I wouldn’t let you date some bitch. So in my opinion… you guys are perfect.”
“Thanks Ray,” Fraser whispered.
“Lissen Benny,” Ray said softly, “I know it’s scary. And I know you’re still getting over the past. But Tay… she ain’t gonna hurt you.”
Fraser smiled at him and nodded. He had gotten himself so twisted up inside his own head. Fixated on all the ways Victoria had used him. Couldn’t think past the blind panic at the thought of anything approaching that level of pain again.
But Ray was right. He had nothing to worry about. There hadn’t been a single thing between he and Tayla that should make him worry. He needed to let go of Victoria, for once and for all. He had meant what he said to Tayla just the other morning. There might be a part of him that will always wonder what could have happened, but he wouldn’t trade where he was now for a second chance. He wouldn’t trade the connection he had with Tayla or the contentment he felt with her.
He looked over at Ray, the word brother whispering on loop in his head and smiled.
“Thanks brother,” he whispered.
Ray nodded, sniffed and scrubbed at his nose to try to hide the grin on his face and looked back out the windshield.
***
Jolene
and the necklace Benton gives her
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