you need me like a bad habit - one that leaves you defenseless, dependent, and alone

[logical_red]

[Again, he's tossing and turning, and the thick scent of stale alcohol stings his nose a bit; it's filled the room for the past two days, because that's all Matt can stand to do anymore, is just drink, sleep, and drink some more. He's not proud of it, but he can't really get himself to be ashamed, either.

What little sleep he's gotten has been

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[down_to_nowhere]

[Mello hasn't slept since he left this room four days ago, despite having gone through the better part of two bottles of extremely good whiskey. He's so tired, he's starting to hallucinate; tired enough that he doesn't give a shit about his pride. He just wants to sleep. And he can't do that without Matt. And Matt is here. So here Mello is too. Things get very simple when your higher brain functions have all taken a leave of absence.

Worry jolts him when he sees the door ajar, but there's Matt in the bed, just fine. Mello pushes the door open enough to step in, debates asking permission, but fuck it. He crawls into the bed next to Matt, not touching him, just breathing in that smoky scent. Fuck, he missed it.]

[logical_red]

[He's facing away from Mello; sighing, Matt curls up a bit more, still running and banging and screaming in his mind; he probably mumbles Mello's name once or twice in his sleep, grabbing onto the pillow beneath his head and clutching at it, eyes flickering slightly beneath their lids.]

[down_to_nowhere]

[Mello hears his name in the soft jumble of nightmare-induced babble, and wraps one arm around Matt's waist, moving in close behind him. I'm here, you're okay, he wants to say, but finds he can't. What if it doesn't mean anything to Matt anymore?]

[logical_red]

[He abruptly writhes a little, squirming closer to Mello and burying his face in the pillow as the mumbling continues, his accent showing through the few murmurs that are audible and coherent. He gasps a little, reaching the end of the hallway in his dream and slamming himself into the wall, beating on it and screaming for Mello to come back, don't leave!]