опять отверженные
Нашла тексты пародий. Оно все прекрасное, но, конечно, исключительно фанатское )
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his!
))))
God it's high
This song's too high
Pity me
Change the key
Bring it down
Bring it down
It's too high
It's too high
Much too high
If I seem to be grief-stricken
When this song goes on and on
Empty songs with empty lyrics
All about the dead and gone
Oh no, Étienne, you're simply a confused and worried child. Let me explain the plot of the show to you so you can understand the way it's styled: Jean Valjean is a convict who's being chased by the policeman Javert, who doesn't know that he's now a mayor and has adopted Cosette, the little waif daughter of Fantine, who dies in Act One--and that's why Jean Valjean must run! (Ah, yes.) Then he becomes involved in a French Revolution--but not the big famous one, a little later one you thought you didn't know anything about--where Jean Valjean watches everyone get caught, except for (Marius!) Yes! Marius! Who loves Cosette instead of Eponine, who joins the revolutionaries and runs up the barricade where she gets... (Pregnant?) ...shot. After she sings a long ballad very much like Jean Valjean, who dies peacefully knowing that he has driven Javert to jump off a bridge and has significantly changed France by being an all-around nice guy--and c'est fini, our story's done! How did you like that? (Zzzzz.)
Do you hear the people sing
Singing the hit songs from Les Mis?
It is the best show of a classic
Since they modernized The Wiz!
Better learn the songs by heart
And if you don't they'll call you dumb
They'll be atop the record chart
When the British come!
No more Gershwin, no more Kern
We don't need old shows anymore
We will set ablaze and burn
Most every Stephen Sondheim score
Come join with the few who have started a musical war!
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his!
You'll be ticketed and pinched
If a La Cage song you should hum
Poor Jerry Herman will be lynched
When the British come!
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Now with our new French Revolution
We'll decapitate the biz!
Now Les Mis is here to stay
Miss Saigon will leave you numb
Phantom will haunt the Great White Way
When the British come!
For Britain, Broadway!
What show takes you up in the air
When you come to call?
It's Broadway's big love affair
But not really Broadway's at all
But I saw it and I didn't mind
Compare it to other shows and you'll find
Just like the poster says, God knows,
It's less miserable than other shows
You'll try get in
To watch the people spin
Ooh là là là
Les Misérables
Javert gets sunk
And Eponine goes punk
Ooh là là là
Les Misérables
Valjean gets caught
And everyone gets shot
Ooh là là là
It's not Hedda Gabler
It's hot, it's chic
C'est très, très magnifique
Les Misérables
At the end of the play we're another year older
And we're often exhausted from playing the poor
Randy Graff fell in the band, and the turntable's making us dizzy
Trevor Nunn yells a command, and it's throwing us all in a tizzy
And there's gonna be hell to pay
At the end of the play
At the end of the play see the audience smoulder
Sitting flat on their butts for three hours or more
They can't wait to get back home and to read the libretto in bed
To decipher whatever went on--and what we said
Better read your synopsis
At the end of the play
There was a time when shows were fun
And they used bright lighting
And the shows weren't so long
And the songs weren't so biting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the scenery looked so pretty
I didn't sing one song then die
And all my costumes weren't so gritty
I did a tapdance and I smiled
And pathos wasn't overstated
My lips were red, my hair was styled
I didn't act so constipated
But now that misery's in style
It's artistic if you suffer
So they tore my dress apart
And the chorus girls walk lame
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Neil Diamond didn't sing my hit song
A pretty girl they'd glorify
And Act One wasn't so damn long
Come watch us grovel in the dirt
Then buy a souvenir and don it
Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt
That has a staving pauper on it
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the sets weren't piles of rubble
I didn't have to belt high E
And be as miserable as me
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his!
))))
God it's high
This song's too high
Pity me
Change the key
Bring it down
Bring it down
It's too high
It's too high
Much too high
If I seem to be grief-stricken
When this song goes on and on
Empty songs with empty lyrics
All about the dead and gone
Oh no, Étienne, you're simply a confused and worried child. Let me explain the plot of the show to you so you can understand the way it's styled: Jean Valjean is a convict who's being chased by the policeman Javert, who doesn't know that he's now a mayor and has adopted Cosette, the little waif daughter of Fantine, who dies in Act One--and that's why Jean Valjean must run! (Ah, yes.) Then he becomes involved in a French Revolution--but not the big famous one, a little later one you thought you didn't know anything about--where Jean Valjean watches everyone get caught, except for (Marius!) Yes! Marius! Who loves Cosette instead of Eponine, who joins the revolutionaries and runs up the barricade where she gets... (Pregnant?) ...shot. After she sings a long ballad very much like Jean Valjean, who dies peacefully knowing that he has driven Javert to jump off a bridge and has significantly changed France by being an all-around nice guy--and c'est fini, our story's done! How did you like that? (Zzzzz.)
Do you hear the people sing
Singing the hit songs from Les Mis?
It is the best show of a classic
Since they modernized The Wiz!
Better learn the songs by heart
And if you don't they'll call you dumb
They'll be atop the record chart
When the British come!
No more Gershwin, no more Kern
We don't need old shows anymore
We will set ablaze and burn
Most every Stephen Sondheim score
Come join with the few who have started a musical war!
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Even the great Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wished the songs were really his!
You'll be ticketed and pinched
If a La Cage song you should hum
Poor Jerry Herman will be lynched
When the British come!
Do you hear the people sing
All of the new songs from Les Mis?
Now with our new French Revolution
We'll decapitate the biz!
Now Les Mis is here to stay
Miss Saigon will leave you numb
Phantom will haunt the Great White Way
When the British come!
For Britain, Broadway!
What show takes you up in the air
When you come to call?
It's Broadway's big love affair
But not really Broadway's at all
But I saw it and I didn't mind
Compare it to other shows and you'll find
Just like the poster says, God knows,
It's less miserable than other shows
You'll try get in
To watch the people spin
Ooh là là là
Les Misérables
Javert gets sunk
And Eponine goes punk
Ooh là là là
Les Misérables
Valjean gets caught
And everyone gets shot
Ooh là là là
It's not Hedda Gabler
It's hot, it's chic
C'est très, très magnifique
Les Misérables
At the end of the play we're another year older
And we're often exhausted from playing the poor
Randy Graff fell in the band, and the turntable's making us dizzy
Trevor Nunn yells a command, and it's throwing us all in a tizzy
And there's gonna be hell to pay
At the end of the play
At the end of the play see the audience smoulder
Sitting flat on their butts for three hours or more
They can't wait to get back home and to read the libretto in bed
To decipher whatever went on--and what we said
Better read your synopsis
At the end of the play
There was a time when shows were fun
And they used bright lighting
And the shows weren't so long
And the songs weren't so biting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the scenery looked so pretty
I didn't sing one song then die
And all my costumes weren't so gritty
I did a tapdance and I smiled
And pathos wasn't overstated
My lips were red, my hair was styled
I didn't act so constipated
But now that misery's in style
It's artistic if you suffer
So they tore my dress apart
And the chorus girls walk lame
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Neil Diamond didn't sing my hit song
A pretty girl they'd glorify
And Act One wasn't so damn long
Come watch us grovel in the dirt
Then buy a souvenir and don it
Rich folks pay twenty bucks a shirt
That has a staving pauper on it
I dreamed a show in days gone by
Where all the sets weren't piles of rubble
I didn't have to belt high E
And be as miserable as me