Forgot to post last weekend, busybee~
My baad. Had a birthday thing to go to. Two more this weekend, so who knows if I'll remember to post this weekend xD;
JUST MAKING A POST NAO TO MAKE A POST.
And to say the last week or so, I had a realization that kinda stunted me for an entire day. Or the week to today, maybe.
The realization that I really don't want to be an animator.
But I actually knew that before. When everyone talked about what they wanted to do and take up in college back in high school.
I knew I wanted to be in comics. And I still do. This animation gig, it's so not my thing. And I know that even more so when I have my animation homework, but I'd really rather do my storyboarding homework instead.
I've, twice now, laid in bed before going to sleep and planned out my storyboarding homework, enough that I probably wouldn't stop thinking about it if I wasn't sleepy. I kind of really dig storyboarding. It's like comic-ing, but not.
Yet, I find it slightly disheartening that I like that class much better than I do the class that's important to my major.
Did I ever mention that I never planned on even taking animation at all? Like, it was never in my plans for college. I wanted illustration. But ailv deceived me with the letter things that they used to send to my brother, where illustration was a choice of major. Maybe it used to be, I dunno.
But I know I just kind of settled for what they had at ailv because I didn't want to go far from home. I kind of settled on what was there just because it was there.
I settled for something I didn't really want because it was simply there for the taking.
At times, I feel like I'm taking advantage of something I shouldn't be. I tend to roll with things as they come and go, not particularly minding at all, but I feel like now that I've rolled this up, I'm stuck with it for life, and that it's determined what my future will look like, and I don't like knowing that. My open road now has an end, and I don't particularly like the destination.
I'm fine now, though. It was just kind of a big thing and kind of upset me at the time. I kind of feel like I'm contradicting myself, but I've dug myself pretty deep already, I'm not so sure how to climb my way out. So I'll just keep digging and maybe, when I'm out of it/when I've graduated, I can start over, maybe go someplace where I'll actually like what I'm doing.
And I won't settle for just whatever, then.
I'll persevere and strive for what I want, instead of just taking what's left.
Because what good is grabbing leftovers all willynilly
when patience can get you closer to your dreams~?
... okay, yeah, that last line was super corny, but whatever xD
Ummm also, the fact that I get really sleepy/bored when I'm playing Rockband (specifically the drums) is somewhat depressing to me 8(
Maybe I'm bored of the default songs already D8;
WOE IS ME.
Hokay, doodlins next post, I swear. :]
Until then, random photos of a kitty that was in my backyard yesterday :>
It was staring at me through the blinds o_o;
And my animatic of those storyboards I showed off a few weeks ago~
This was kindof a poop to put together :D
But it was fun :D
song: "Lost Fur" by Karen O and the Kids from Where the Wild Things Are OST
Kay, that's all =]
Oh, and by the way, mom?
I'll belong to whoever I want to belong to. ♥
JUST MAKING A POST NAO TO MAKE A POST.
And to say the last week or so, I had a realization that kinda stunted me for an entire day. Or the week to today, maybe.
The realization that I really don't want to be an animator.
But I actually knew that before. When everyone talked about what they wanted to do and take up in college back in high school.
I knew I wanted to be in comics. And I still do. This animation gig, it's so not my thing. And I know that even more so when I have my animation homework, but I'd really rather do my storyboarding homework instead.
I've, twice now, laid in bed before going to sleep and planned out my storyboarding homework, enough that I probably wouldn't stop thinking about it if I wasn't sleepy. I kind of really dig storyboarding. It's like comic-ing, but not.
Yet, I find it slightly disheartening that I like that class much better than I do the class that's important to my major.
Did I ever mention that I never planned on even taking animation at all? Like, it was never in my plans for college. I wanted illustration. But ailv deceived me with the letter things that they used to send to my brother, where illustration was a choice of major. Maybe it used to be, I dunno.
But I know I just kind of settled for what they had at ailv because I didn't want to go far from home. I kind of settled on what was there just because it was there.
I settled for something I didn't really want because it was simply there for the taking.
At times, I feel like I'm taking advantage of something I shouldn't be. I tend to roll with things as they come and go, not particularly minding at all, but I feel like now that I've rolled this up, I'm stuck with it for life, and that it's determined what my future will look like, and I don't like knowing that. My open road now has an end, and I don't particularly like the destination.
I'm fine now, though. It was just kind of a big thing and kind of upset me at the time. I kind of feel like I'm contradicting myself, but I've dug myself pretty deep already, I'm not so sure how to climb my way out. So I'll just keep digging and maybe, when I'm out of it/when I've graduated, I can start over, maybe go someplace where I'll actually like what I'm doing.
And I won't settle for just whatever, then.
I'll persevere and strive for what I want, instead of just taking what's left.
Because what good is grabbing leftovers all willynilly
when patience can get you closer to your dreams~?
... okay, yeah, that last line was super corny, but whatever xD
Ummm also, the fact that I get really sleepy/bored when I'm playing Rockband (specifically the drums) is somewhat depressing to me 8(
Maybe I'm bored of the default songs already D8;
WOE IS ME.
Hokay, doodlins next post, I swear. :]
Until then, random photos of a kitty that was in my backyard yesterday :>
It was staring at me through the blinds o_o;
And my animatic of those storyboards I showed off a few weeks ago~
This was kindof a poop to put together :D
But it was fun :D
song: "Lost Fur" by Karen O and the Kids from Where the Wild Things Are OST
Kay, that's all =]
Oh, and by the way, mom?
I'll belong to whoever I want to belong to. ♥