Movie Fanfic: Becket (1964)
Title: ALONE
Recipient: merry-gentry
Author: lolafalola
Rating: Adult
Pairing(s): King Henry II/Thomas Becket
Summary: Henry remembers as his friendship with Thomas ends.
DISCLAIMER: The beginning of this story, which is written in bold, is taken directly from the stage play Becket by Jean Anouilh. He wrote the original play and the screenplay. All rights are his, Paramount, etc. This is a work of fanfiction. . No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Warning(s): inappropriate fantasy of actual real people
Word Count: a little bit over 1000 words
Author’s Note: This is a fanfic story from the movie, Becket, staring Peter O’Toole as King Henry II and Richard Burton as Becket. I first saw this movie when I was in high school and it made me fall in love with the combination of English men and all things slash.
I had a brief LJ comment conversation with merry-gentry over a year ago about how lovely and ‘slashy’ this movie and The Lion in Winter, were. Back then I promised her that I would try to write a story with this brief monologue in mind. Well, I may be very late, but I tried not to forget.
So, this brief story is dedicated to her.
It is not beta’d. I was too excited to have finally finished this. All errors are my own.
KING. (Bawling) Get Out! Get out, both of you! And take your royal vermin with you! I am alone!
Frightened, the QUEENS hurry out with the children. The KING stand there a moment, reeling a little as if stunned by the blow. Then he collapses onto the throne and sobs like a child.
(Moaning) O my Thomas!
He remains a moment prostrate, then collects himself and sits up. He looks at the Seal in his hand and says between clenched teeth:
You’ve sent me back the Three Lions of England, like a little boy who doesn’t want to play with me any more. You think you have God’s honor to defend now! I would have gone to war with all England’s might behind me, and against England’s interests, to defend you, little Saxon. I would have given the honor of the Kingdom laughingly… for you… Only I loved you and you didn’t love me… that’s the difference.
His face hardens. He add between clenched teeth:
Thanks all the same for this last gift as you desert me. I shall learn to be alone.
He goes out. The lights dim.
Thomas Becket
That name still stabs me like a knife. My heart, that treacherous beast which poisons my humours with every beat that it takes, it burns me alive from within every time I think of you.
”O my Thomas!"
I can still remember those days, the early ones where I dragged you to the whorehouses to help me fill a void. You were so innocent then, so sweet and lovely. You still are, you know. You protested at first, said it was beneath the dignity of a king. I laughed and told you that you had no idea the pressures a king must face. I cajoled you and wept on your shoulder. I begged you to be with me. I bemoaned the loneliness of a king’s bed when he had a wife such as I. She may have been my queen, but she knew nothing of how to be a woman. Her womanly charms, if she ever had any, did nothing for me. How often did I lay with her and think of England?
Finally, after all the nagging, you joined me in the brothels. At first, you stayed outside the door, saying someone needed to be on alert - to watch and protect me. I still shiver when I remember how you use to say it. You were my knight in shining armour all shimmery, bold, and wonderful. Did you know that?
Since I was born, I’ve always had a guard or escorts at hand to defend the king, but you made it sound as if you were trying to protect me - Henry - the man. I never thought it would be possible to be separated from the title of king.
I had always felt so alone, before you came to me. I knew it would be a life of royalty, of others seeking my console, my decisions, and my every word. I knew every conversation would be recorded, every word remembered. I knew that everyone would look to me to be their guide, their king. I was ready to walk alone.
Then you came and you were like a candle, a small, pure, shining flame in a world without day. And I was nothing more than a moth drawn to you without the least bit of resistance. I wanted you before I even knew what wanting meant, or what it could mean. You were mine, my own little Saxon, and I was a greedy child who didn’t want to share. I could no more deny you than the sun refusing to rise.
Time and time again we went to the brothels, I tasting and feasting like a wanton glutton, while you fasted from the carnal delights. Were you trying to be a monk even back then? Denying yourself of all the pleasures of the flesh, of all the things you could feel? My heart breaks at the thought.
Then the day came when I wrapped my arms around your waist, your face so close to my own that I could see the flush spreading across your face, feel your breath draw faster, and hear your heartbeat quicken as our chests rubbed together. Your face was so serious, so guarded, so close to my own. I wanted to be like that forever.
“Little Saxon, what’s wrong? Why do you seem so unease and afraid? Let me protect you tonight. Join me and let us forget the worries that make you seem so unsure. I do not like to see you this way. It frightens me.”
You stared at me with those brilliant blue eyes that forever bored into my soul. I couldn’t look away from you. Then you whispered the words I longed to hear. Well… almost longed for.
“Yes, I’ll join you.”
Then we began the time we knew must happen. The first few time, the money was easy. We paid for the women with use of their rooms. But then, things changed. We sought out our release less and less with those wenches and more and more with each other. The time began when we would pay for their silence while we used their rooms unattended.
Do you remember the first time we made love together alone? I felt like a virgin, like it was the first time I had ever been with another. I wanted you so desperately that I was shaking with fear even though we had done things when the others were with us. You kept me safe - protected. I thought that you would always be there. I knew that I loved you and I thought that you loved me, too. I thought forever would be with you by my side.
Do you remember, later, how you cried in my arms? You said that you didn’t know if you could feel anything. This moment --- what we shared - was the closest to love that you had ever felt. I thought at the time you were talking about the closest to being loved. You cried and I tried to kiss the tears away. I wanted you to feel my love, burning for you like the flame you were to me.
Those times we made love, those times you moved inside me, me inside you. It felt like I came apart at the seams. I broke like water over a rock. I was no longer the king, a sovereign, your liege. I was more than that, though. You taught me that. I wasn’t just a man. I was yours - and yours alone.
We would always be together, forever, just the two of us.
“O my Thomas!”
Yet, the sun must set and the candle will extinguish from the least bit of wind. Did I blow to hard, little Saxon? The flame is gone now and I can’t see anymore. The dark is so cold, so terrifying. I am alone in the dark, wandering with arms stretched out searching for anything to hold on to. I ache without you, there to protect me, to guide me. I am frightened!
I was wrong and I am sorry for what I did to you, for what I did to us.
Now, I must learn what I once thought I knew. Now I must learn to be alone.
Recipient: merry-gentry
Author: lolafalola
Rating: Adult
Pairing(s): King Henry II/Thomas Becket
Summary: Henry remembers as his friendship with Thomas ends.
DISCLAIMER: The beginning of this story, which is written in bold, is taken directly from the stage play Becket by Jean Anouilh. He wrote the original play and the screenplay. All rights are his, Paramount, etc. This is a work of fanfiction. . No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Warning(s): inappropriate fantasy of actual real people
Word Count: a little bit over 1000 words
Author’s Note: This is a fanfic story from the movie, Becket, staring Peter O’Toole as King Henry II and Richard Burton as Becket. I first saw this movie when I was in high school and it made me fall in love with the combination of English men and all things slash.
I had a brief LJ comment conversation with merry-gentry over a year ago about how lovely and ‘slashy’ this movie and The Lion in Winter, were. Back then I promised her that I would try to write a story with this brief monologue in mind. Well, I may be very late, but I tried not to forget.
So, this brief story is dedicated to her.
It is not beta’d. I was too excited to have finally finished this. All errors are my own.
KING. (Bawling) Get Out! Get out, both of you! And take your royal vermin with you! I am alone!
Frightened, the QUEENS hurry out with the children. The KING stand there a moment, reeling a little as if stunned by the blow. Then he collapses onto the throne and sobs like a child.
(Moaning) O my Thomas!
He remains a moment prostrate, then collects himself and sits up. He looks at the Seal in his hand and says between clenched teeth:
You’ve sent me back the Three Lions of England, like a little boy who doesn’t want to play with me any more. You think you have God’s honor to defend now! I would have gone to war with all England’s might behind me, and against England’s interests, to defend you, little Saxon. I would have given the honor of the Kingdom laughingly… for you… Only I loved you and you didn’t love me… that’s the difference.
His face hardens. He add between clenched teeth:
Thanks all the same for this last gift as you desert me. I shall learn to be alone.
He goes out. The lights dim.
Thomas Becket
That name still stabs me like a knife. My heart, that treacherous beast which poisons my humours with every beat that it takes, it burns me alive from within every time I think of you.
”O my Thomas!"
I can still remember those days, the early ones where I dragged you to the whorehouses to help me fill a void. You were so innocent then, so sweet and lovely. You still are, you know. You protested at first, said it was beneath the dignity of a king. I laughed and told you that you had no idea the pressures a king must face. I cajoled you and wept on your shoulder. I begged you to be with me. I bemoaned the loneliness of a king’s bed when he had a wife such as I. She may have been my queen, but she knew nothing of how to be a woman. Her womanly charms, if she ever had any, did nothing for me. How often did I lay with her and think of England?
Finally, after all the nagging, you joined me in the brothels. At first, you stayed outside the door, saying someone needed to be on alert - to watch and protect me. I still shiver when I remember how you use to say it. You were my knight in shining armour all shimmery, bold, and wonderful. Did you know that?
Since I was born, I’ve always had a guard or escorts at hand to defend the king, but you made it sound as if you were trying to protect me - Henry - the man. I never thought it would be possible to be separated from the title of king.
I had always felt so alone, before you came to me. I knew it would be a life of royalty, of others seeking my console, my decisions, and my every word. I knew every conversation would be recorded, every word remembered. I knew that everyone would look to me to be their guide, their king. I was ready to walk alone.
Then you came and you were like a candle, a small, pure, shining flame in a world without day. And I was nothing more than a moth drawn to you without the least bit of resistance. I wanted you before I even knew what wanting meant, or what it could mean. You were mine, my own little Saxon, and I was a greedy child who didn’t want to share. I could no more deny you than the sun refusing to rise.
Time and time again we went to the brothels, I tasting and feasting like a wanton glutton, while you fasted from the carnal delights. Were you trying to be a monk even back then? Denying yourself of all the pleasures of the flesh, of all the things you could feel? My heart breaks at the thought.
Then the day came when I wrapped my arms around your waist, your face so close to my own that I could see the flush spreading across your face, feel your breath draw faster, and hear your heartbeat quicken as our chests rubbed together. Your face was so serious, so guarded, so close to my own. I wanted to be like that forever.
“Little Saxon, what’s wrong? Why do you seem so unease and afraid? Let me protect you tonight. Join me and let us forget the worries that make you seem so unsure. I do not like to see you this way. It frightens me.”
You stared at me with those brilliant blue eyes that forever bored into my soul. I couldn’t look away from you. Then you whispered the words I longed to hear. Well… almost longed for.
“Yes, I’ll join you.”
Then we began the time we knew must happen. The first few time, the money was easy. We paid for the women with use of their rooms. But then, things changed. We sought out our release less and less with those wenches and more and more with each other. The time began when we would pay for their silence while we used their rooms unattended.
Do you remember the first time we made love together alone? I felt like a virgin, like it was the first time I had ever been with another. I wanted you so desperately that I was shaking with fear even though we had done things when the others were with us. You kept me safe - protected. I thought that you would always be there. I knew that I loved you and I thought that you loved me, too. I thought forever would be with you by my side.
Do you remember, later, how you cried in my arms? You said that you didn’t know if you could feel anything. This moment --- what we shared - was the closest to love that you had ever felt. I thought at the time you were talking about the closest to being loved. You cried and I tried to kiss the tears away. I wanted you to feel my love, burning for you like the flame you were to me.
Those times we made love, those times you moved inside me, me inside you. It felt like I came apart at the seams. I broke like water over a rock. I was no longer the king, a sovereign, your liege. I was more than that, though. You taught me that. I wasn’t just a man. I was yours - and yours alone.
We would always be together, forever, just the two of us.
“O my Thomas!”
Yet, the sun must set and the candle will extinguish from the least bit of wind. Did I blow to hard, little Saxon? The flame is gone now and I can’t see anymore. The dark is so cold, so terrifying. I am alone in the dark, wandering with arms stretched out searching for anything to hold on to. I ache without you, there to protect me, to guide me. I am frightened!
I was wrong and I am sorry for what I did to you, for what I did to us.
Now, I must learn what I once thought I knew. Now I must learn to be alone.