Sorry that I could never love you back, I could never care enough in these last days. Can't count to all the lovers I've burned through, so why do I still burn for you

I woke up with a bad feeling in my gut. Looking back on the past six to eight months I realize that I haven't really wanted or hoped for anything. Haven't really dreamed of anything. My focus has been off. But I spent the majority of the morning dreaming about beautiful things and places again ( Read more... )

There's a map of the world ( Read more... )

What's even the point now? I want to say it so I can reassure myself that the goodness and whole was there, to reassure another as well. It might only hurt another, misinterpreted and read into. Or am I still clinging to the ideal myself? All day flashes of pointless memories have been in my head. My brown Iceland sweater and boots on a rainy day ( Read more... )

I go out to look for something and I come back empty handed every time. The only thing I can look back to is me. "I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder." The criticism keeps circling back around, I keep making the choice not to, but never finish it.

I'm so much more comfortable in the night. Dark, rich, silky and smoldering. Something behind. Can't find complexity in anyone. Can't find it in myself. I'll put my hand out in the dark, trusting I'll pull something back. Too many dreams.

Like going through an old Five Star to rip out pages from before, since there's nothing worth keeping but you'll need to write more. At first glance there's nothing missing; the next person to look through it will begin to see. They'll just see the books thinner, and imprints of what used to be there, something they can't decipher ( Read more... )

but I am screaming underneath... Sick to the stomach, you can say what you mean but it won't change a thing ( Read more... )

I seem to always fall in love with the idea first; the way your white cotton shirt clings to your arms, going to visit you on the charter when I can.

At times I become a little restless. My first thought was to have people over for rum at my house. My next idea was to get drinks with a man I've been seeing, but I'm really not too fond of him. Besides, I wasn't looking for sex. I was looking for fun, converstation and a night out to breathe. He wouldn't provide any of that, rather he would just ( Read more... )