i keep having dreams todd is leaving me
and also that i'm a roller derby girl.

my store team leadergave his going away speech tonight
he started crying, and so did everyone else
i fantasized about roadkill and dirty bleeding lesbians to keep my mind off laughing

when i start using a lot of big words
i start feeling like i'm coming off as derisive

i usually am

this bitch is in heat
and has been for the past several days.

fruit flies drowning in grapefruit juice
it must be nice to suffocate yourself in the one last thing you really love.

dear todd's exwife,

stop stalking me.
again.

thanks.
sadie

my favorite women who come into the store are the ones who have had waaaaaaaaaay too much plastic surgery
and so their eyes are stuck in permanent shock-face mode

they're usually pretty angry

i like that a lot.

what's really awesome is to be bent over getting offed
and then looking back and seeing that the guy doing it is really hot
and you just like totally explode right then and there.

hot boyfriends are so fucking awesome.

this is the healthiest unhealthy relationship i have probably ever been in

when alex and i broke up he punched a hole in my bedroom door ( Read more... )