Comments | lolitics_meme: Cloud no. 9

lolitics_meme

Cloud no. 9

Dec 30, 2010 07:56

1) All fills for prompts of the earlier prompt posts go in the post the prompt was posted in. No re-posting or splitting up prompts and fills.
2) Self-prompt when you post unprompted fic. (This means posting what the fill is about in a first comment, like a real prompt, and commenting on that with your fill.)
3) Try not to get too srs business. ( Read more... )

prompting: 09

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anonymous January 6 2011, 00:32:34 UTC

i know there have already been prompts based on today's RPing, but i don't want to promptjack.

Cornballs OT3 please? Maybe a getting together fic, a bit angsty but with a happy ending?

anonymous January 6 2011, 00:40:41 UTC

Possibly one of the most distasteful ship names ever. :P

anonymous January 6 2011, 12:50:49 UTC

I'm convinced 20-25% of the reason Ed Balls appears in the meme is because his portmanteau ship names are the lol.

anonymous January 6 2011, 00:43:01 UTC

Are - are you me?
I've been wanting to write a fix-it fic since New Year. Am on it.

anonymous January 6 2011, 00:49:58 UTC

DA here

<3 <3 <3 <3

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 1/? anonymous January 10 2011, 16:10:37 UTC

She’d sort of known. Alright, so she didn’t expect the stupid bastards would ever admit to it, or act on it, or even talk about it, but she is married to one and best friends with the other, and they aren’t exactly subtle.

They’ve been best friends for years - almost as long as Ed’s been a married man (1998, the year Ed married, the year Demon Eyes and the Burnham-Balls strike force came into being). Ed’s an all-or-nothing person anyway, and Andy’s really the only mate that’s managed to put up with it. More than that Andy likes it, in the same way that she does. Colleagues and mutual acquaintances, everyone else, find him infuriating, odd and impossible, but not Andy ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 2/? anonymous January 10 2011, 16:14:46 UTC

She doesn’t know what she’s doing, but she follows them as they exit the room and disappear to the toilets (cliché, cliché, fuck, she’d’ve thought they’d be more imaginative ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 3/? anonymous January 10 2011, 16:20:24 UTC

“Oh shit,” Andy swears as Yvette leaves the room. Ed looks sick, blinking slowly, and Andy can feel a pungent mix of guilt and fear radiate off him. Andy grabs Ed (arms around his chest, like a proper 3 AM “leave him, he’s not worth it” glassfight outside a pub). “Don’t. You’ve humiliated her enough for one evening. Let her get home before you fall to your knees.”

Ed just stares, horrified at where his wife had been.

“Cunt, cunt, cunt. What’ve we done?” Andy kicks at the stall door, which bangs loudly ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 4/? anonymous January 10 2011, 16:27:14 UTC

Ed gets home minutes after Yvette (she could well believe he jumped in the car and shouted ‘follow that taxi!’) but she doesn’t ask him to leave. She thinks about it (she thinks about nothing else), but doesn’t have the energy or the heart. And where would he go anyway?

Andy would be his first call, and it’s not like she never wants them to see each other again, but at least the fuckers can try and spend some time apart just to think about how the fuck they fix this. And she doesn’t want Ed and Andy getting cuddles while she’s on her own, feeling her marriage fall apart. Petty, yes, but fucking reasonable, under the circumstances.

She pretends to be asleep, hoping Ed won’t try to talk to her. He does, though, because he always talks. Yvette can keep a silence - through spite or because a silence needs to be kept - but Ed can’t hold his tongue for anything - not even in the run ups to penalties ( ... )

Re: Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 4/? anonymous January 10 2011, 16:59:44 UTC

You can't just leave it there. *whimpers*

Re: Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 4/? anonymous January 10 2011, 17:08:44 UTC

Well, I know where I'll be f5ing for the foreseeable future.

Oh god, poor Yvette. And poor conflicted Andy, wanting Ed but having to let him go. And Ed knowing he's fucked everything up. *clutches heart*

And above all that, there's BurnBalls-y charm that makes my toes wriggle. :3 Can't wait for more.

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 5/? anonymous January 10 2011, 17:32:54 UTC

Ed wakes before her, but dresses on the landing so as not to wake her. He leaves plenty of hot water, and even does his own washing up. He feels guilty because he should be doing this sort of thing every day, not just when he’s fucked up. He just never gets around to it. He’s fine with cooking, but washing up? When there’s Tories that need baiting, journalists that need drinking under the table, and his best mate to distract him? And when she’s usually there to pick up the slack?

There are 4 missed calls on his mobile, all from Andy, that start drunk but calm and end furious, sweary and incoherent.

“Shit, Ed, shit. Shit. Ed, this is so fucking bad. Oh fuck. Oh cunt. What’ve we done? For fuck’s sake, let me in.” The last message, at 5:30 AM includes the phone being stamped on, the ‘let me in’ giving away his whereabouts ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 6/? anonymous January 10 2011, 17:38:08 UTC

“Mornin’, love,” Andy murmurs through his furry mouth.

“Don’t call me love,”

“Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry,” Andy wakes up properly, hurriedly letting go of her arm, sitting up straight. “I am so sorry, Yvette.”

“Come on. Inside. I don’t want this conversation on the street,”

She doesn’t want this conversation at all, but, like her Dad was always telling her, deal with it before it escalates (as a Union leader, he knew all about escalation, although he’d always kept the militancy to a respectable level - ie enough so they weren’t hated the length of the country ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 7/? anonymous January 10 2011, 17:45:33 UTC

Andy spits dark brown saliva into his own lap, but doesn’t let it stop him talking.

“Ed’s the sort of person you grow to love, but you? Head over heels first time I met you. Why d’you think I hate him bringing you to the pub with us? Why can’t I stand being in the same room as you? Cos you're both wearing wedding rings and I just know I can’t... Shite. Th’only reason I haven’t ‘ad him before now is cos I knew it’d hurt you. If I didn’t care ‘bout you, I wouldn’ve thought twice...”

There’s a long pause, and Yvette looks between the two like they’re eating their own livers in front of her: confused and a bit disgusted.

“I don’t really understand, Andy.”

“No, and that fucking confuses me.” Andy says. “You always laughed at Ed for being so surprised that people actually like him, didn’t you. Well, I love you, and Ed loves you, and we love each other, and we want us - the three of us - to be okay with that. But all you see is me and Ed fucking off together. We love you“You want me to.. We’re going to share my husband? So you get week ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 8/14 anonymous January 10 2011, 17:52:22 UTC

Ed slams the door and finds his wife, washing sick off her hands (the Sainsbury’s white soap that smells a bit like coconut and hides the smell of fags (her), kebab (him), pretty much anything).

“This is all wrong, Ed,” Yvette tells him, and her voice cracks as she says his name. “It’s not fair. If I’d known the decade would pan out like this, I wouldn’t’ve put so much fucking effort into getting here.”

That’s the kind of sentence Ed would never expect from her, and one he’s terrified of. She gets mellow a lot of the time, but rarely just apathetic. Now she’s obviously miserable and hurt, and she can’t even be bothered to talk at them about this. What if it’s the ME? Fuck, what if it is psychosomatic, and she’s going to lose another 2 years? What does he do now? Oh fuck ( ... )

Ok, ok, you don't think 'threepover' is funny 9/14 anonymous January 10 2011, 17:57:10 UTC

Ed gets up, feeling heavy and leaden, and follows Yvette into the kitchen. She makes the nicest cup of tea he’s ever tasted, and sits down beside him. Upstairs they hear Andy emptying his stomach onto their shower floor. She can’t help but smile ( ... )

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