VONGOLORGY
BECAUSE I HAVE HOMEWORK, AND BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A TOOL FOR REPLYING TO THIS WAY MORE THAN NECESSARY ALREADY.
Also because I continue to enjoy the irony of essaying about Yamamoto's thoughts ever 8|
Note that most of this is just rambling about the pairings. |D
YAMA'S THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FOURGY, I already said he was totally fine with it. Which he completely is. It's completely crazy and hilarious, hell yeah! He cares a lot about all three of them very honestly, and I could end this essay right here. I've essayed before about how Yamamoto appreciates people in a very "overall" way, where even their negative traits are a positive thing because they make up who they are. Still, he does this in such a way where he has no ulterior motives whatsoever - he honestly doesn't mean to go anywhere with these relationships, except to just get closer. YAMA JUST CARES, AND LOVES PEOPLE.
What's made him actually confess to anyone was almost always built up by camp events that were specifically romantic (Tsuna MOLESTED HIM under the effect of a pimp cane, 3 rounds of mistletoe, etc) - or stressful, in Gokudera's case, where they were put in the CFUW kill game that brought out most of their feelings (aka plot). Since he's just VERY BLATANT, if anyone asked him about whether or not he was thinking about it, he'd just answer honestly. He never immediately hooked up with anyone after a confession, he'd just say it and leave it at that, BUT once other crushes started surfacing and he kept getting returned feelings, well, Yama can't hold back loving on people. The idea of them all just matching up came up! Around that time, Yamamoto was actually intending to back out of all the CONFESSION CROSSFIRE, because it would get around to Gokudera that Yamamoto got involved with Tsuna, and that just IN GENERAL sounded like a bad idea lol. He was very zen with this, and he wanted everyone to be happy! But Tsuna caught him and topped him out of it, and in this manner he has acquired two boyfriends and a girlfriend. \o/ Him and Haru playing truth or dare like COMPLETE GIRLS talking about this stuff is one of my favorite couple moments, lol.
Tsuna
He ADORES Tsuna and says this quite often in canon, calling him amazing and hanging all over him affectionately. In a way I think the initial bond between Tsuna and Yamamoto was the most honest one; Yamamoto got to know Tsuna for no reason other than wanting to get to know him, and when Yamamoto was going to commit suicide, Tsuna wasn't in Dying Will mode when he confronted him and talked him down. That was all normal, insecure, scared Tsuna, and so Yamamoto really saw what made Tsuna special from the start, and liked him for exactly who he was. Tsuna is always fighting for Yamamoto's right to be normal, and Yamamoto is always hanging out with him for no reason at all other than friendship. And when mafia time comes along, Yamamoto will do ANYTHING for him \o/ And has proved as much multiple times, getting mauled/almost dying/etc etc and not even worrying about it. |D The thing that really pushed it into a romantic edge in camp was basically hormones after enough perverted camp games, and Yama just ACCEPTS THESE THINGS so he was pretty zen with kinda wanting to molest Tsuna and didn't bother repressing it it (tho he kept it to himself lol). THE ISSUE CAME UP And he confessed it, and it went well! So he's perfectly happy to add molestings when Tsuna is too amazing.
Haru
With Haru! He's spent a LOT of time over camp with Haru, who is hilarious and adorable and he adores her. She's also much more his physical type, she's VERY BEAUTIFUL and hilarious and kinda tsundere. So after bonding with her, kissing her, and eventually getting closer in how much they both care about Tsuna - basically a LOT OF TIME together - they sorted out all the crushes they had, which included ones on each other. IT WAS HILARIOUS and they didn't actually hook up, but got a lot closer, and managed it later |D He's less likely to be as direct with wanting to kiss Haru as he is with the boys, not because she's a girl - because while that's SORT OF an element and he IS INCLINED to be more traditional with a girl, in the end Yama has like zero shame - but because in his mind, Tsuna is Haru's real boyfriend and they're gonna get married someday. (A LOT OF HER CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND THAT and Yama loves her for it). He TOTALLY KNOWS what's between him and Haru are very honest feelings, and he's very happy for it. When he has his overclock moment of SO CUTE MUST LOVE ON, Haru's the one he's most likely to at least make an effort to hold back. HE WILL STILL CUDDLE WHAT HE LOVES THOUGH, and wants to be a good boyfriend for her while he is one. |D ...So probably the only reason he's actually managed to hold back recently is we haven't threaded recently, lol.
Gokudera
Sob. |D
I've already written a lot about their relationship and how Yamamoto feels about him, and how he'll never directly push him, but does want to be trusted and a friend. None of that has changed! But BEING HIS BOYFRIEND is something new, and Yamamoto is THRILLED. Not that this changes anything about how their relationship works, save for he gets to molest him... sometimes... if he's not dumped. It wouldn't be hard to not notice anything was different at all. But it is in its own way a HUGE change, the biggest being that Gokudera is actively letting him close. It didn't happen without any comment, Yamamoto asked him out properly (...3 times) and Gokudera said yes (eventually). And that is awesome. And he's under strict instructions to never jump him, so he ALWAYS ASKS before he kisses him - and sometimes he gets told to fuck off, but sometimes he says yes and that's awesome too.
Yamamoto likes him A LOT, and in a way his feelings haven't really complicated much from the last time I essayed like 10 months ago, here lol. He just LIKES WHO GOKUDERA IS. They've been through a lot together, and have admitted a lot of fears and faced a lot of fears. There are a lot of guards between them and especially around Gokudera, but a few are slowly coming down. Amazingly it's not all one-sided as far as letting guards down is concerned - Yamamoto isn't guarded the same way Gokudera is, but there are things he doesn't say or doesn't show, and his signiature "reliable" quality is thanks to his ability to do this very well and very zen-like. |D But in taking care of the friendship between himself and Gokudera - calming him down, talking sense into him, reassuring him, whatever the case - in order to DO that he has to show Gokudera he CAN, that he's been paying attention, that he has fears he can relate to, that he has darker thoughts or resolve or faces. And he knows he's not stupid enough to miss it. It's a little strange for Yamamoto to think of it as Gokudera seeing what he "holds back" normally, because it sure as heck isn't anything like what others might hold back; he's very honestly zen, and he quickly resolves his issues. But that doesn't mean they're not there, and now Gokudera knows a lot more of them. And that's bringing them closer on a less-thought-about, but deeper level.
It wasn't so much of a relief to tell Gokudera he liked him - liked him liked him - no really Gokudera haha! - because it wasn't really hurting him at all to hold back on that part. But it felt good to tell him in a very SIMPLE BASIC WAY, especially because of all the ways Gokudera responded, not getting it and disbelieving and getting flustered and angry and. Very Gokudera. |D Yamamoto wants him to be able to open up his heart to others, and him being UTTERLY CONFUSED that he (or ANYONE) could like him like that almost made Yamamoto kind of sad at the time, considering the atmosphere in the CFUW kill game was awesomely grim. But it also encouraged him because Gokudera is someone he cares about A LOT - his response to his confession in particular really made him think how much he liked him. All he did was tell him, but after they were out of CFUW and a few days of Gokudera being HIGHLY AWKWARD passed, Yama figured out the answer was already yes. So he sure as hell pushed for it, because he LOEV GOKUDERA and wants to happily demonstrate that ALL THE TIME and he'll be an awesome boyfriend for him. |Db
And he molests Gokudera twice as often than the other two, though that's the UST talking. :> And Gokudera being SMOKIN HOT
This happened WAY after Haru and Tsuna, and all the other combinations. WAY. We kept joking about how the most popular pairing was possibly just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR A WHILE, and if it wasn't for CFUW they could have easily not hooked up whatsoever. Yamamoto and Gokudera are the type of relationship that doesn't NEED a nudge, but a nudge helps to change it from what it already is, because Gokudera's content to shove everything aside and Yamamoto's content with how things are. So PLOT, where their lives were in danger and they were taking lives for the first time, and were TRULY TERRIFIED of losing their loved ones, was waaay more than enough. In camp now they also face a lot of really dangerous enemies, and just like in canon, the person Yamamoto teams up the most naturally with is Gokudera. After THIS LONG, camp and canon, Yamamoto's starting to think of them as partners >D and he already thinks and says they're a great team. Also EVERY TIME Gokudera gets injured or attacked (or Tsuna, for that matter - and I think if Haru ever got hurt he would flip his shit), Yamamoto gets a fresh surge of very canon crazy protectiveness.
OH AND. Because of his bigger crush, and how complicated his relationship with Gokudera is compared to his more simple feelings for the other two, in a way he's aware that it's the relationship he's the most invested in. He's not quite flat out in love with him and doesn't think he is, but he knows it's deeper than a normal like. He doesn't really think too deeply about it, he just knows how he feels now. |D So Haru talking about ~IT'S LOVE~ makes him laugh, but he'll never object to it. Besides, JUST IN CASE, if he objects now and Gokudera hears, but changes his mind, that'll make it even harder to convince Gokudera otherwise later. He has in fact played out this scenario in his head and cracked himself up.
IN A WAY, though he has very healthy romantic feelings for them all, he still treats them all the same as he would if he WASN'T their boyfriend. However he's very AWARE he's their boyfriend, so that means he gets to do fun boyfriend things like dates and extra presents and cuddling and kissing, and may spring any one of these at any time. 8D YAMA's SUPER EXCITED ABOUT BEING A BOYFRIEND he's never been one before! Cause he is busy with life! But now he's a boyfriend THREE TIMES OVER ha ha oh wow. He has people he all cares about VERY MUCH, and even though he's not sure it'll last as a foursome (or an "even" foursome, it's already pretty uneven haha), everyone's happy and cares deeply for each other and that's more than enough to be happy and root for it. HE IMAGINES that eventually they'll divvy off to be more simple - Haru's got her romantic ideals, and Gokudera's got his history with affairs, and Yamamoto himself can tell he has stronger feelings for Gokudera. At the same time though, he knows the bonds between the others are also very honest, and he knows his feelings as a boyfriend are definitely honest. With Tsuna DUH HE ADORES TSUNA, and he adores Haru too, plus she has the added bonus of being, well, a girlfriend, cute and smart and funny, the kind of thing he's been turning down for a while now. It makes him want to spoil her |D
Anyway, even if it's transient and he senses the others are a little shaky on it in some spots - hell that's to be expected cause this is PRETTY CRAZY |D - they all do TRULY CARE and are thus going for it, and it makes him happy that all his friends care so much |D He loooves theeem and will support all of them forever, whether they split into pairings or remain a foursome longer than anyone expected. They all live together in the future, and they've lived together in camp for a long time now, so no matter what he expects to be with them for a very long time. Whatever happens, it'll be interesting, and he knows that no matter what, it won't end badly. |D
He's still braced for the day that Gokudera walks in on him and Tsuna and breaks Yamamoto's nose, though.
Also because I continue to enjoy the irony of essaying about Yamamoto's thoughts ever 8|
Note that most of this is just rambling about the pairings. |D
YAMA'S THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FOURGY, I already said he was totally fine with it. Which he completely is. It's completely crazy and hilarious, hell yeah! He cares a lot about all three of them very honestly, and I could end this essay right here. I've essayed before about how Yamamoto appreciates people in a very "overall" way, where even their negative traits are a positive thing because they make up who they are. Still, he does this in such a way where he has no ulterior motives whatsoever - he honestly doesn't mean to go anywhere with these relationships, except to just get closer. YAMA JUST CARES, AND LOVES PEOPLE.
What's made him actually confess to anyone was almost always built up by camp events that were specifically romantic (Tsuna MOLESTED HIM under the effect of a pimp cane, 3 rounds of mistletoe, etc) - or stressful, in Gokudera's case, where they were put in the CFUW kill game that brought out most of their feelings (aka plot). Since he's just VERY BLATANT, if anyone asked him about whether or not he was thinking about it, he'd just answer honestly. He never immediately hooked up with anyone after a confession, he'd just say it and leave it at that, BUT once other crushes started surfacing and he kept getting returned feelings, well, Yama can't hold back loving on people. The idea of them all just matching up came up! Around that time, Yamamoto was actually intending to back out of all the CONFESSION CROSSFIRE, because it would get around to Gokudera that Yamamoto got involved with Tsuna, and that just IN GENERAL sounded like a bad idea lol. He was very zen with this, and he wanted everyone to be happy! But Tsuna caught him and topped him out of it, and in this manner he has acquired two boyfriends and a girlfriend. \o/ Him and Haru playing truth or dare like COMPLETE GIRLS talking about this stuff is one of my favorite couple moments, lol.
Tsuna
He ADORES Tsuna and says this quite often in canon, calling him amazing and hanging all over him affectionately. In a way I think the initial bond between Tsuna and Yamamoto was the most honest one; Yamamoto got to know Tsuna for no reason other than wanting to get to know him, and when Yamamoto was going to commit suicide, Tsuna wasn't in Dying Will mode when he confronted him and talked him down. That was all normal, insecure, scared Tsuna, and so Yamamoto really saw what made Tsuna special from the start, and liked him for exactly who he was. Tsuna is always fighting for Yamamoto's right to be normal, and Yamamoto is always hanging out with him for no reason at all other than friendship. And when mafia time comes along, Yamamoto will do ANYTHING for him \o/ And has proved as much multiple times, getting mauled/almost dying/etc etc and not even worrying about it. |D The thing that really pushed it into a romantic edge in camp was basically hormones after enough perverted camp games, and Yama just ACCEPTS THESE THINGS so he was pretty zen with kinda wanting to molest Tsuna and didn't bother repressing it it (tho he kept it to himself lol). THE ISSUE CAME UP And he confessed it, and it went well! So he's perfectly happy to add molestings when Tsuna is too amazing.
Haru
With Haru! He's spent a LOT of time over camp with Haru, who is hilarious and adorable and he adores her. She's also much more his physical type, she's VERY BEAUTIFUL and hilarious and kinda tsundere. So after bonding with her, kissing her, and eventually getting closer in how much they both care about Tsuna - basically a LOT OF TIME together - they sorted out all the crushes they had, which included ones on each other. IT WAS HILARIOUS and they didn't actually hook up, but got a lot closer, and managed it later |D He's less likely to be as direct with wanting to kiss Haru as he is with the boys, not because she's a girl - because while that's SORT OF an element and he IS INCLINED to be more traditional with a girl, in the end Yama has like zero shame - but because in his mind, Tsuna is Haru's real boyfriend and they're gonna get married someday. (A LOT OF HER CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND THAT and Yama loves her for it). He TOTALLY KNOWS what's between him and Haru are very honest feelings, and he's very happy for it. When he has his overclock moment of SO CUTE MUST LOVE ON, Haru's the one he's most likely to at least make an effort to hold back. HE WILL STILL CUDDLE WHAT HE LOVES THOUGH, and wants to be a good boyfriend for her while he is one. |D ...So probably the only reason he's actually managed to hold back recently is we haven't threaded recently, lol.
Gokudera
Sob. |D
I've already written a lot about their relationship and how Yamamoto feels about him, and how he'll never directly push him, but does want to be trusted and a friend. None of that has changed! But BEING HIS BOYFRIEND is something new, and Yamamoto is THRILLED. Not that this changes anything about how their relationship works, save for he gets to molest him... sometimes... if he's not dumped. It wouldn't be hard to not notice anything was different at all. But it is in its own way a HUGE change, the biggest being that Gokudera is actively letting him close. It didn't happen without any comment, Yamamoto asked him out properly (...3 times) and Gokudera said yes (eventually). And that is awesome. And he's under strict instructions to never jump him, so he ALWAYS ASKS before he kisses him - and sometimes he gets told to fuck off, but sometimes he says yes and that's awesome too.
Yamamoto likes him A LOT, and in a way his feelings haven't really complicated much from the last time I essayed like 10 months ago, here lol. He just LIKES WHO GOKUDERA IS. They've been through a lot together, and have admitted a lot of fears and faced a lot of fears. There are a lot of guards between them and especially around Gokudera, but a few are slowly coming down. Amazingly it's not all one-sided as far as letting guards down is concerned - Yamamoto isn't guarded the same way Gokudera is, but there are things he doesn't say or doesn't show, and his signiature "reliable" quality is thanks to his ability to do this very well and very zen-like. |D But in taking care of the friendship between himself and Gokudera - calming him down, talking sense into him, reassuring him, whatever the case - in order to DO that he has to show Gokudera he CAN, that he's been paying attention, that he has fears he can relate to, that he has darker thoughts or resolve or faces. And he knows he's not stupid enough to miss it. It's a little strange for Yamamoto to think of it as Gokudera seeing what he "holds back" normally, because it sure as heck isn't anything like what others might hold back; he's very honestly zen, and he quickly resolves his issues. But that doesn't mean they're not there, and now Gokudera knows a lot more of them. And that's bringing them closer on a less-thought-about, but deeper level.
It wasn't so much of a relief to tell Gokudera he liked him - liked him liked him - no really Gokudera haha! - because it wasn't really hurting him at all to hold back on that part. But it felt good to tell him in a very SIMPLE BASIC WAY, especially because of all the ways Gokudera responded, not getting it and disbelieving and getting flustered and angry and. Very Gokudera. |D Yamamoto wants him to be able to open up his heart to others, and him being UTTERLY CONFUSED that he (or ANYONE) could like him like that almost made Yamamoto kind of sad at the time, considering the atmosphere in the CFUW kill game was awesomely grim. But it also encouraged him because Gokudera is someone he cares about A LOT - his response to his confession in particular really made him think how much he liked him. All he did was tell him, but after they were out of CFUW and a few days of Gokudera being HIGHLY AWKWARD passed, Yama figured out the answer was already yes. So he sure as hell pushed for it, because he LOEV GOKUDERA and wants to happily demonstrate that ALL THE TIME and he'll be an awesome boyfriend for him. |Db
And he molests Gokudera twice as often than the other two, though that's the UST talking. :> And Gokudera being SMOKIN HOT
This happened WAY after Haru and Tsuna, and all the other combinations. WAY. We kept joking about how the most popular pairing was possibly just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR A WHILE, and if it wasn't for CFUW they could have easily not hooked up whatsoever. Yamamoto and Gokudera are the type of relationship that doesn't NEED a nudge, but a nudge helps to change it from what it already is, because Gokudera's content to shove everything aside and Yamamoto's content with how things are. So PLOT, where their lives were in danger and they were taking lives for the first time, and were TRULY TERRIFIED of losing their loved ones, was waaay more than enough. In camp now they also face a lot of really dangerous enemies, and just like in canon, the person Yamamoto teams up the most naturally with is Gokudera. After THIS LONG, camp and canon, Yamamoto's starting to think of them as partners >D and he already thinks and says they're a great team. Also EVERY TIME Gokudera gets injured or attacked (or Tsuna, for that matter - and I think if Haru ever got hurt he would flip his shit), Yamamoto gets a fresh surge of very canon crazy protectiveness.
OH AND. Because of his bigger crush, and how complicated his relationship with Gokudera is compared to his more simple feelings for the other two, in a way he's aware that it's the relationship he's the most invested in. He's not quite flat out in love with him and doesn't think he is, but he knows it's deeper than a normal like. He doesn't really think too deeply about it, he just knows how he feels now. |D So Haru talking about ~IT'S LOVE~ makes him laugh, but he'll never object to it. Besides, JUST IN CASE, if he objects now and Gokudera hears, but changes his mind, that'll make it even harder to convince Gokudera otherwise later. He has in fact played out this scenario in his head and cracked himself up.
IN A WAY, though he has very healthy romantic feelings for them all, he still treats them all the same as he would if he WASN'T their boyfriend. However he's very AWARE he's their boyfriend, so that means he gets to do fun boyfriend things like dates and extra presents and cuddling and kissing, and may spring any one of these at any time. 8D YAMA's SUPER EXCITED ABOUT BEING A BOYFRIEND he's never been one before! Cause he is busy with life! But now he's a boyfriend THREE TIMES OVER ha ha oh wow. He has people he all cares about VERY MUCH, and even though he's not sure it'll last as a foursome (or an "even" foursome, it's already pretty uneven haha), everyone's happy and cares deeply for each other and that's more than enough to be happy and root for it. HE IMAGINES that eventually they'll divvy off to be more simple - Haru's got her romantic ideals, and Gokudera's got his history with affairs, and Yamamoto himself can tell he has stronger feelings for Gokudera. At the same time though, he knows the bonds between the others are also very honest, and he knows his feelings as a boyfriend are definitely honest. With Tsuna DUH HE ADORES TSUNA, and he adores Haru too, plus she has the added bonus of being, well, a girlfriend, cute and smart and funny, the kind of thing he's been turning down for a while now. It makes him want to spoil her |D
Anyway, even if it's transient and he senses the others are a little shaky on it in some spots - hell that's to be expected cause this is PRETTY CRAZY |D - they all do TRULY CARE and are thus going for it, and it makes him happy that all his friends care so much |D He loooves theeem and will support all of them forever, whether they split into pairings or remain a foursome longer than anyone expected. They all live together in the future, and they've lived together in camp for a long time now, so no matter what he expects to be with them for a very long time. Whatever happens, it'll be interesting, and he knows that no matter what, it won't end badly. |D
He's still braced for the day that Gokudera walks in on him and Tsuna and breaks Yamamoto's nose, though.