31 Days Exchange - The Long Goodbye

Mar 29, 2011 23:14

Title: The Long Goodbye
Day/Theme: 29th March 2011; long walk, short pier
Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Rukia, Ichigo; Ichigo/Rukia
Rating: G

"Thank you."

Idiot. Stupid, stupid idiot. Rukia isn't even sure if she means him or herself.

"No, Ichigo. Thank you," she responds to the ground, but she knows he can't hear her anymore because he's looking not at her but up at the sky and he's not saying anything else. Regret gnaws at her - too little, too late - but she stifles it, stuffs it into the far corner of her heart where she can't feel it and won't have to acknowledge it. There's nothing either of them can do about this after all.

Her fingers twitch at her side; if she only reached out she'd be able to touch him. Is that so wrong, to want to feel his warmth one last time? But she grits her teeth and steels her resolve; if she touches him now she'll fall apart. It would start with just a brush of her fingertips against his chest, but it would no doubt turn into a hug and she knows (sheknowssheknowssheknows) she'd never want to let go, never want to leave and that... that is unacceptable. No, she tells herself as she curls her digits into tiny fists that shake nonetheless. This is goodbye.

She looks up, but he's still staring at anything but the spot he last saw her, the very spot she's still standing on. It causes a new ache to burn in her chest, because already she feels like that shade of brown is leaving her memory and it's not fair. It's not fair but that's how it is and that's how it will be and they're both powerless to change that.

"I'll see you around, Ichigo," she finds herself saying even though he can't hear and she instinctively knows it is a lie, because Soul Society would never allow it and there isn't any reason to keep an eye on him anymore. (Maybe she's just lying to herself to ease the pain, because the truth hurts so much more.) With that, she turns around, stares at the open gateway before her, forces herself to not turn around and take one last look at him so she can etch his figure into her mind, heart and soul.

The senkaimon is five steps away.

Somehow, each step takes an eternity.

fanfiction, 31 days exchange, bleach

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