31 Days Exchange - Linger
Title: Linger
Day/Theme: 29th March 2011; evergreen
Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Ichigo, Rukia; Ichigo/Rukia
Rating: G
Ichigo remembers.
Every morning when he wakes up, his gaze travels to the door of his closet. That is where she used to sleep. When he eats his meals, he occasionally glances at the empty seat beside him. That is where she used to sit so she could hog the fried eggs. On his way to school he closes his eyes, because then he can almost hear the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of her shoes hitting the pavement as she walks beside him. Tap-tap-tap, skip, tap-tap-tap, skip.
In class, he finds his gaze drifting every now and then to her empty seat. During lunch, he still makes room sometimes for a midget - just the perfect fit - in his circle of friends. No one comments, and he's just fine with that. When the last bell rings and he has cleaning duty he stalls, because his mind - his heart - makes him think there's someone waiting just beyond the gate for him but when he gets there he is greeted only by thin air.
It hits him the hardest when he takes a bath and catches sight of his reflection in the mirror. His body is fit and strong, moreso than most teenage boys his age, barring Chad. I gained this strength for you. The scars scream at him, history etching its tales on his skin like parchment, to be looked upon and memorised at every chance (and he has). I'm alive because of you. He traces them with his fingers, reading them like braille, reliving them as if he is regaining each wound as he does so. "I defied death for you," he murmurs into the air as if she can hear him a world away.
(When he goes to sleep at night, he glances out the window and imagines a black swallowtail butterfly fluttering right by.)
Ichigo knows that memories don't last forever, unlike what those sappy stories claim. They fade and chip and one day the only thing left is the faint thought that something used to be there. He knows because it is happening to him, to his memories of her - her looks, her voice, her little quirks. It leaves him furious and depressed and so, so helpless because he can't fight it, can't stop it as it happens slowly and gradually before his very eyes.
It's not so bad, he convinces himself, because even as all his memories of her vanish he will never truly lose Rukia. Everytime he notes the empty places in his everyday routine, he remembers she used to be there. Everytime he traces his scars with his callused fingertips, he remembers she wasisalwayswillbe a part of him.
He knows that for as long as he draws breath, his existence is stained with her. Rukia has left her tiny fingerprints all over it, and if that is all he will have left in the end he will make do with it.
Day/Theme: 29th March 2011; evergreen
Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Ichigo, Rukia; Ichigo/Rukia
Rating: G
Ichigo remembers.
Every morning when he wakes up, his gaze travels to the door of his closet. That is where she used to sleep. When he eats his meals, he occasionally glances at the empty seat beside him. That is where she used to sit so she could hog the fried eggs. On his way to school he closes his eyes, because then he can almost hear the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of her shoes hitting the pavement as she walks beside him. Tap-tap-tap, skip, tap-tap-tap, skip.
In class, he finds his gaze drifting every now and then to her empty seat. During lunch, he still makes room sometimes for a midget - just the perfect fit - in his circle of friends. No one comments, and he's just fine with that. When the last bell rings and he has cleaning duty he stalls, because his mind - his heart - makes him think there's someone waiting just beyond the gate for him but when he gets there he is greeted only by thin air.
It hits him the hardest when he takes a bath and catches sight of his reflection in the mirror. His body is fit and strong, moreso than most teenage boys his age, barring Chad. I gained this strength for you. The scars scream at him, history etching its tales on his skin like parchment, to be looked upon and memorised at every chance (and he has). I'm alive because of you. He traces them with his fingers, reading them like braille, reliving them as if he is regaining each wound as he does so. "I defied death for you," he murmurs into the air as if she can hear him a world away.
(When he goes to sleep at night, he glances out the window and imagines a black swallowtail butterfly fluttering right by.)
Ichigo knows that memories don't last forever, unlike what those sappy stories claim. They fade and chip and one day the only thing left is the faint thought that something used to be there. He knows because it is happening to him, to his memories of her - her looks, her voice, her little quirks. It leaves him furious and depressed and so, so helpless because he can't fight it, can't stop it as it happens slowly and gradually before his very eyes.
It's not so bad, he convinces himself, because even as all his memories of her vanish he will never truly lose Rukia. Everytime he notes the empty places in his everyday routine, he remembers she used to be there. Everytime he traces his scars with his callused fingertips, he remembers she wasisalwayswillbe a part of him.
He knows that for as long as he draws breath, his existence is stained with her. Rukia has left her tiny fingerprints all over it, and if that is all he will have left in the end he will make do with it.