(no subject)
_Name; Amber.
_Age; 19.
_Sex; Female.
_Location; Kentucky.
_What form(s) of SI do you use?; Cutting.
_How long have you been SIing?; 5 years.
_Why do you feel you do this?; To calm me down, to keep me centered. Sometimes I'll do it because I'm angry and sometimes just any time. It just comforts me.
_Are you on any medication(s)? Actually no, never. I only saw a therapist a couple times after my school found out, but other than that, none.
_If yes, what for and which one(s)?;
_What benefits to you feel you get from self injury?; Not any benefits, I guess, just my own personal satisfaction. Feeling better, lighter, released.
_What do you feel is the biggest downfall of your self injury?; Seeing my mom cry after she saw pictures of my cuts. Letting my family down the most, hurts to see them in pain because of something I do. Having to hide all the time, feeling shameful.
_Pick five adjectives to describe yourself (Be creative & honest); Friendly, good hearted, kind, artistic, fragile.
_What are three things that trigger you the most?; Family fights (We start screaming at each other and most of the time I feel like my head is going to explode before its over and I have nothing else to do but cut and think "Why aren't we nooormall??" haha), bad days, good days (weird I know), pictures, old memories.
_Is there anything you do to help lessen your urges to SI?; I really really try just to NOT think about it. It will work for a little while, I try to throw myself into my paintings or craft work but it doesn't last long.
_Do you currently wish to stop self injuring? Why?; I used to. I used to cry and cry and say "OHHH I WISH I COULD STOP" But, its just like smoking, it's causing me harm and I know I should stop, but I don't WANT to stop right now. I only regret that it's not socially acceptable, other than that it makes it so i can go on with my day without flipping out.
_How do you think/wish/hope this community can help you?; I sometimes just need to be reassured that I'm not going fucking insane! Haha, and it's always nice to meet people like me, who I can say "Yeah that totally happened to me, I understand!"
_Would you be willing to accept IMs in someone's time of need?; I'm not always online, but yes.
_If yes, what is your AIM, Yahoo, and/or MSN messenger for our l_ssupport page?; aim- hellooo dr / msn-dancedance_ambulance@hotmail.com
*waves* I'm Amber. I didn't know whether to post a past si application or current, because I haven't cut in monnnnths before this. But I always do that, I will stop for a month or a week or a few months then go right back to it, no matter what I always come back to it. Well, if anybody would like to talk I'm here; love to hear back from any one. <3