Mmm... Wallowing in a big puddle of self-pity. I know that puddle well. I, too, would be hitting the sauce tonight if I didn't have to perform tomorrow.
"I hate wondering if he really gives a damn or if I'm just his convenient fuck."
You shouldn't have to wonder this at all. It's not fair to you. This reminds me so much about how it was with Justin. You need to do what is best for you. It is very likely that the way it is now between you is the way it will always be.
How much better can you do? I could do the whole "you can get whatever you want out of life, blah blah blah," but it's not as simple as that. When other people are involved, finding what you need in a relationship is twice as hard. I will say that the right guy is going to be a lot harder to find when you are tied to someone that isn't treating you right. For me I realized that I would rather be lonely and single then lonely and in a relationship.
Just don't lose yourself, hun. It is one of the hardest things to get back.
I have discovered that one of the main things I enjoy about sex is the closenes. Yeah, getting off is fun but when I was single, sometimes having a good vibrator and a few gay men to cuddle with and dance with was good enough. Definitely saved me some emotional pain.
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There's always next weekend. :-D
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You shouldn't have to wonder this at all. It's not fair to you. This reminds me so much about how it was with Justin. You need to do what is best for you. It is very likely that the way it is now between you is the way it will always be.
How much better can you do? I could do the whole "you can get whatever you want out of life, blah blah blah," but it's not as simple as that. When other people are involved, finding what you need in a relationship is twice as hard. I will say that the right guy is going to be a lot harder to find when you are tied to someone that isn't treating you right. For me I realized that I would rather be lonely and single then lonely and in a relationship.
Just don't lose yourself, hun. It is one of the hardest things to get back.
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