There are no answers, only choices.
*sidles back onto LJ*
2013 was a bit of a write off I'm afraid. I was deeply unwell. I'm not going to go into into it or over it in terms of what happened, but the outcomes are interesting and not a bad thing. I'm more realistic, more pragmatic, I don't think everything happens for a reason anymore, my philosophical/spiritual beliefs have shifted quite a bit which rocked my world at first and took me a while to come to terms with, but I'm now in a framework which is working for me. I had a profound experience while watching a specific sci-fi film during this exisential crisis - which sounds ridiculously pretentious but is true. - which helped me sort my head out. A prize (virtual hug) for anyone who can guess which film *points at entry title*.I think I've grown up a lot and gained quite a lot of wisdom. For a while I was worried I was going to become cynical and jaded because of the above, but that simply hasn't happened and I've learned that not everything has to be extremes, it's more a continuum - I'd still class myself as an optimist, but it's just tempered by a bit more of a sense of reality now. Not an easy year - probably the hardest I've had in my 35 years on the planet. But we move forwards, and life is fundamentally beautiful, yeah?
The last thing of substance I posted was part 1 of my meta for The Name of the Doctor, Part 2 remains half done and I've not even re-watched the 50th and the Xmas special on a meta-level yet, and I may not do at all. My google drive is full of half done fics. The only thing I really wrote last year was a Spock/Kirk after watching Into Darkness, which I may post here if flist is interested. I have been feeling quite inspired by Loki/Thor (cos yum), but the only output from that so far is a gradually growing file of gifs and stills on my hard drive. Any other Thor/Loki fans on my flist? Maybe what I need to do is reread all those dusty neglected River/11 fics and get my mojo back that way.
Creativity is not altogether gone though! I got a decent acoustic guitar at last (a nice fender electro-acoustic), and I've been writing songs which has been fab. I've also been doing a lot of textile crafts, it's just words that seem to escape me (apart from lyrics) for the time being. Immersion back in fandom will help, I'm sure. I also damn sure I've missed a heap of magical fic and meta, so feel free to throw recs my way.
I also went on a fab trip wild camping and wild swimming round Scotland last summer, which was therapeutic. I didn't go away enough though in 2013, so I'm hoping this year I'll get away in the camper a lot more.
I'm not making this entry private as I usually do when it's personal, because I'm hoping that arwen_elen may read it - please let me know you're okay even if it's just a smiley thrown my way...I'm worried.
So, just basically to say I am back and here, and a bit different, but not in a bad way. Nice to meet you all again.
xxx
2013 was a bit of a write off I'm afraid. I was deeply unwell. I'm not going to go into into it or over it in terms of what happened, but the outcomes are interesting and not a bad thing. I'm more realistic, more pragmatic, I don't think everything happens for a reason anymore, my philosophical/spiritual beliefs have shifted quite a bit which rocked my world at first and took me a while to come to terms with, but I'm now in a framework which is working for me. I had a profound experience while watching a specific sci-fi film during this exisential crisis - which sounds ridiculously pretentious but is true. - which helped me sort my head out. A prize (virtual hug) for anyone who can guess which film *points at entry title*.I think I've grown up a lot and gained quite a lot of wisdom. For a while I was worried I was going to become cynical and jaded because of the above, but that simply hasn't happened and I've learned that not everything has to be extremes, it's more a continuum - I'd still class myself as an optimist, but it's just tempered by a bit more of a sense of reality now. Not an easy year - probably the hardest I've had in my 35 years on the planet. But we move forwards, and life is fundamentally beautiful, yeah?
The last thing of substance I posted was part 1 of my meta for The Name of the Doctor, Part 2 remains half done and I've not even re-watched the 50th and the Xmas special on a meta-level yet, and I may not do at all. My google drive is full of half done fics. The only thing I really wrote last year was a Spock/Kirk after watching Into Darkness, which I may post here if flist is interested. I have been feeling quite inspired by Loki/Thor (cos yum), but the only output from that so far is a gradually growing file of gifs and stills on my hard drive. Any other Thor/Loki fans on my flist? Maybe what I need to do is reread all those dusty neglected River/11 fics and get my mojo back that way.
Creativity is not altogether gone though! I got a decent acoustic guitar at last (a nice fender electro-acoustic), and I've been writing songs which has been fab. I've also been doing a lot of textile crafts, it's just words that seem to escape me (apart from lyrics) for the time being. Immersion back in fandom will help, I'm sure. I also damn sure I've missed a heap of magical fic and meta, so feel free to throw recs my way.
I also went on a fab trip wild camping and wild swimming round Scotland last summer, which was therapeutic. I didn't go away enough though in 2013, so I'm hoping this year I'll get away in the camper a lot more.
I'm not making this entry private as I usually do when it's personal, because I'm hoping that arwen_elen may read it - please let me know you're okay even if it's just a smiley thrown my way...I'm worried.
So, just basically to say I am back and here, and a bit different, but not in a bad way. Nice to meet you all again.
xxx